FLOTUS fans are rejoicing this week, because our First Lady’s portrait has just debuted at the National Portrait Gallery in an exhibit called “Americans Now.” This is exciting because sure, Michelle has been in a museum before, but never in a fabulous Mickalene Thomas screen print nor without that pesky Barry Obama sneaking into the shot. Finally, FLOTUS is on her own and sharing the exhibit only with worthy American heroes, like LL Cool J and Martha Stewart. But since it appears so far that no one has demanded FLOTUS’ portrait be relocated to Versailles, there are more important things to report in Michelle World — like what CNN discovered last week in its ongoing investigation of Michelle’s arms.
Things have been rocky for the First Lady lately, with Americans first loving her more than anyone else for being well-dressed, then hating her for not being poor. This is because she is stylish, but sometimes her arms are too toned for our liking, whether we realize it or not.
Since she hit the national stage, much of the press has focused on her toned, athletic arms. Other widely distributed photos highlight her physicality as well: her height, her ease at skipping rope and running with kids.
Obama may be the most athletic first lady the country has seen. This is jarring to some people who are accustomed to older and more demure first ladies, says Laura Hertzog, director of diversity and inclusion programs at Cornell University in New York.
How dare Michelle Obama skip rope and run with kids while Real America struggles to fit into a regular-sized seat on an airplane — or, more fitting for these hard economic times, a Greyhound bus. Apparently our conflicted feelings about the First Lady are also due to the “uppity Negro syndrome” and the fact that she is not Oprah or Nancy Reagan. Problem solved! We can all go to the National Portrait Gallery and bask in the glory of the FLOTUS now. [CNN]
Blair Burke (blairelinor@gmail.com) obsessively follows Michelle Obama’s every move for “The FLOTUS Files,” which appears every Monday here at your Wonkette.
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Instead of embarrassing lard-Americans by being all fit and athletic, Michelle should follow tradition established by such great first ladies as Pat Nixon, Betty Ford and Laura Bush and spend her days wandering in a vacant-eyed haze brought on by a steady diet of booze and pills.
Any trampoline vids? Just curious.
yeah, her lack of addiction to prescription drugs/booze/crooner cock makes her a frightening super negress to middle america. the pale folk in america’s love handles like their black ladies ebullient, obese, and possibly hawking delicious corn syrup products.
After Laura Bush, anyone who can BLINK is going to look hyperkinetic.
And her portrait looks like an oil spill. Blurred up, black & white, silk-screen, pop-art = oil spill. O Michelle, why do you hate things that don’t look like oil spills?
I never knew FLOTUS had been a member of the Supremes (or was she a Vandella?).
Wake me when she gets the implants we were promised.
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