LET'S SEE HER NAKED  10:17 am August 23, 2010

Meet ‘Lucky,’ Scott Brown’s New Team Member

by Lauri Apple

I need a smoke breakA heroic staffer for Massachusetts model-senator Scott Brown recently saved this nice little cat from a harsh, lonely existence on the wild streets of Washington and brought her to Brown’s office. The feline polled well with Team Brown and subsequently acquired a new name: the distinctive “Lucky, a.k.a. ‘Longshot’” — as well as a new job, it seems!

Lucky has officially become “part of the team,” Brown states on his Facebook page, which suggests that she is now working for him (and against the Tea Party). She does seem to know how to read, which puts her above most Republicans in the talent pool; maybe she’ll be good at opposition research. Brown should also consider letting her handle incoming calls placed by irate Massachusetts Teabagger-voters who just want to shout “socialist traitor” over and over again, to relieve his “human employees” of that burden.

Some of Brown’s fans applaud his bleeding-heart liberal acceptance of Lucky and her transient lifestyle, posting comments to his specially designated “Lucky the Cat” photo album:

  • Give it the okay to claw back at Nancy Polosi.
  • It’s a pleasure to have a Senator who is sensitive to the needs of our furry friends. Lucky is, indeed, lucky!
  • Are you going to get Lucky her own Petizen page?
  • He’s proud to be an American and not afraid to display the flag. Good job Lucky!

(Lucky is a lady cat.)

The majority of the comments are from ladies, too. This is because a) Brown is the Justin Beiber of the Senate; and b) women become very emotional about animals, for it is our nature to nurture.

Brown had better not get too carried away with the cat adoptions, though: The Senate already has an official Cat Lady in Tom Coburn, and she turns vicious if someone tries to challenge her authority. Also, is it even legal to keep a cat in the Senate office buildings? Seems like it would break some sort of hygiene or etiquette rule. Informed Wonketteers with Capitol Hill experience, enlighten us via the comments section, a.k.a., “The Litter Box.”

LOOK, it’s Lucky again! Everybody go awwww:

Muslim?

[Scott Brown's Facebook page]

 

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 43 comments }

weejee August 23, 2010 at 10:22 am

Aluminum bat = softball = Scott Brown is ghey

Limeylizzie August 23, 2010 at 10:22 am

I confess I adore cats and this actually makes me like Scott Brown,but I would encourage “Lucky” to find that nice man Eric Cantor’s office and drop a few logs on his desk.

bago August 23, 2010 at 10:23 am

Bat-cat!

V572625694 August 23, 2010 at 10:26 am

Subsequent to their long disenfranchisement after Socks Rodham Clinton was evicted from the White House, Feline-Americans finally have representation again!

Cape Clod August 23, 2010 at 10:27 am

Teabagger response: “Instead of a cat, he should have adopted a rhino! Haw, haw, haw! Did you get that? A Rhino because he’s a republican in name only! I have to write that down so I remember it. Where’s a piece of paper?”

Terry August 23, 2010 at 10:28 am

Lucky will disappear from sight in a few weeks after it’s discovered that she’s brought in a whole bunch of fleas and that she has the habit of peeing under Brown’s desk at night.

BlueStateLiberal August 23, 2010 at 10:28 am

Wow, a Republican actually possesses a working heart–amazing.

queeraselvis v 2.0 August 23, 2010 at 10:29 am

Scott Brown: officially pussified.

JMP August 23, 2010 at 10:32 am

This will just further infuriate the teabaggers; in part because they believe being kind to animals is for pussy socialists, but mostly because just about everything infuriates them.

Manos: Hands of Fate August 23, 2010 at 10:37 am

Cats are vessels for Satan according to the book of Deuteronomy. Time to cast evil out of the people’s house.

— Sharron Angle.

iwillsavethispatient August 23, 2010 at 10:38 am

Looking forward to his next speech: I can’t wait to find out whether or not the cat is single.

facehead August 23, 2010 at 10:38 am

Scott Brown is just a puppet for Big Cat.

Adversary153 August 23, 2010 at 10:41 am

Is lucky wearing “Black Face”?

pub_option August 23, 2010 at 10:43 am

How much taxpayers was spent cleaning up and feeding the cat? It does not look like a mangy alley cat in these photos.

Katydid August 23, 2010 at 10:43 am

I knew he was a Socialist! And who’s paying for the cat’s food and cute little toys? The American taxpayer, I bet. Goddamn Socialist Scott Brown is what I say.

Darkness August 23, 2010 at 10:43 am

Don’t make me like this guy.

BarackMyWorld August 23, 2010 at 10:45 am

Scott Brown gets all the pussy.

DoktorZoom August 23, 2010 at 10:52 am

Fine, fine, the cat is cute…but it’s only a matter of time until embarrassing photos leak: are we ready for pics of the cat in a clamshell bikini?

Obligatory XKCD, also

Norbert August 23, 2010 at 10:55 am

Muslins hate dogs. Brown has a cat. What does it all mean? Damnit, where’s my chalkboard?

tbogg August 23, 2010 at 10:59 am

Pimping out his cat just like he does with his daughters. When can we expect the clamshell cat bra? Hmmmm?

Monsieur Grumpe August 23, 2010 at 10:59 am

I believe that anyone who adopts strays AND takes proper, PERMANENT care of them can’t be all bad.
There I said it. There is hope for Brown.
Better keep that litter box clean Brown. I’m watching you. And get her neutered. Cats are total sluts when in heat. Kind of like Newt Gingrich without the triple ickyness.
MG

Buzz Feedback August 23, 2010 at 11:01 am

Brown no longer hairiest animal in the office.

obfuscator August 23, 2010 at 11:04 am

larry craig spent most of his time in dc picking up stray cocks off the street.

Johnny Zhivago August 23, 2010 at 11:05 am

Cats break a HYGIENE rule??? Have you see any of the Republican interns?

x111e7thst August 23, 2010 at 11:07 am

But how does the crying eagle feel about Lucky? Or crying Glenn Beck?

JMP August 23, 2010 at 11:19 am

[re=643657]Buzz Feedback[/re]: He’s also now no longer the only one in his office who’s had publicly released nude photos.

chascates August 23, 2010 at 11:23 am

Let’s hope he doesn’t meet up with Michele Bachmann’s dog.

http://wonkette.com/407793/bachmann-keeps-guard-dog-to-keep-socialists-muslims-away

betweenstations August 23, 2010 at 11:24 am

Finally, the perfect job for an intern: Scooping the litter box.

Oblios Cap August 23, 2010 at 11:25 am

It appears that Lucky is a Basil Marceaux fan. No posing in front of a gold-fringed flag for her!

HipHopOpotamus August 23, 2010 at 11:26 am

Since when did Scott Brown turn into a bored housewife uploading photos of her onto facebook all day?

Limeylizzie August 23, 2010 at 11:28 am

[re=643670]chascates[/re]: Or Michele Bachmann’s pussy.

Dingus McHatred August 23, 2010 at 11:38 am

Let the litter sooooooooooaaaaaaarrrrrr!

BlueStateLiberal August 23, 2010 at 11:39 am

[re=643652]Norbert[/re]: And the household cat comes from the Middle East where it was worshipped by Egyptians. So Scott Brown is a Muslim after all!

torera August 23, 2010 at 11:59 am

How long has she been there? She looks pretty pudgy for a street cat. In spite of that she also looks tensed and ready to make a run for it.

Brendan August 23, 2010 at 12:16 pm

See Wonkette, anybody who’s anybody has a mascotcat. Make my kitten your Wonkcat immediately! I’ve already emailed you so hard.

ArugulaTeleprompterz August 23, 2010 at 12:41 pm

Dammit! Now I like Scott Brown. My moral compass is all discombobulated….

peggynoonansrickshaw August 23, 2010 at 2:14 pm

i mean sure it’s cute. but you know who else was cute? Hitler.

Extemporanus August 23, 2010 at 2:20 pm

[re=643625]Terry[/re]: Lucky’s one of the ticked-off leaders of the “Flea Party Movement”.

jus_wonderin August 23, 2010 at 2:23 pm

I’d really like to hear the cat’s views on the decay of our national infrastructure.

Extemporanus August 23, 2010 at 2:25 pm

[re=643856]peggynoonansrickshaw[/re]: You know who else was even cuter?

That’s right: Kitler.

AnnieGetYourFun August 23, 2010 at 2:38 pm

Jesus, my already limited snarking capacity is blown completely when I see cute little cats like that.

lochnessmonster August 23, 2010 at 6:03 pm

I still don’t understand the reason why businesses and politicians have facebook pages. The term “Social Networking” does not fit in with business and politics in my book. Social to me means my friends not someone trying to sell me something or someone trying to buy my vote.

Jukesgrrl August 23, 2010 at 11:13 pm

Whatever you do, just don’t call Lucky “Liz”!

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