As we reported earlier in the week, North Korea now has official state-run Twitter and YouTube accounts, where it posts news videos about important dogs. According to South Korea, who likes to stalk its ex North Korea online, DPRK now has joined your parents and grandparents on Facebook. It does not have a fan page, however; it has a personal account. And it has taken this opportunity to pull a Sam Alito’s daughter: North Korea is gay, according to its profile.
The Facebook account, which describes itself as male, says it is interested in men and is looking for networking. The account had 50 friends as of Friday.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Oh North Korea.
But seriously, you guys, North Korea can’t be gay! Just look at this video of these perfectly choreographed dancing soldiers they put up today:
Hmm. [AP]
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It is official, North Korea has joined the AXIS OF QUEER.
Maybe North Korea is just confused. I do hope that NK parents accept them as they are and not try to send them to a counselor.
I was at the Abbey and North Korea offered to buy me a drink. Put his arm around me. Told me he’s straight. So there you go.
A link Wonkette’s erstwhile Weigel Era. The Ken-Layne-Missing Era is way better.
… not that there’s anything wong with that…
Maybe NK’s in an experimental phase. They’ll be interested in women once they’ve worked this out out of their system.
I saw NK at Provincetown a couple weeks ago, holding hands with Iran and looking deeply into his eyes. It looked so romantic, I didn’t want to interrupt to tell NK that it lost two of my shirts in its laundry.
Is it just me, or do most of those dance moves look like they’re trying in vain to pull-start a lawnmower?
Those cogs in the war machine of the Great Leader dance just like Napoleon Dynamite!
Send in Michelle Bachmann’s husband. He’ll fix/cure/save North Korea.
They must be trying to save face book.
Gay or not, this much is certain: North Korea’s gonna suck at FarmVille.
This is good; if North Korea decides to just waste the day playing Farmville it won’t have the time to torpedo ships and test nuclear bombs anymore.
“You’re so gay and you don’t even like boys”
-K. Perry
they’re not gay, they’re very hungry. be careful.
[re=642964]teebob2000[/re]: Needz moar jazz-hands.
[re=642970]Extemporanus[/re]: WIN WIN WIN
I can’t wait for the north bs south Korean Starcraft war.
[re=642970]Extemporanus[/re]: Yes, they would dominate Starveville.
This is hardly surprising, as any country that would build the astonishingly phallic Juche Tower is most CERTAINLY interested in men.
I’m sure North Korea is merely trying to craft an army of extraordinary magnitude, forging their spirits in the tradition of their ancestors.
Half naked and sweaty as they practice martial arts moves in the courtyard of Kim Jong Il’s secret island fortress, yes, OK, I’ll grant you. But not gay. Just part of an evil plan for world domination, that’s all.
[re=642987]Serolf Divad[/re]: Worse than Detroit??!!
Ha… I wonder if Brilliant Comrade’s older brother Kim Jong-chul was left in charge of their FB page…
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kim_Jong-chul_(political_figure)
How do you conclude that North Korea is gay? Are you sure it isn’t female? Oh what, anything important has to have a dick? Please.
Just kidding, it doesn’t matter. Slappypappy is right. They’re not looking for love, they’re looking for food.
*weeps with laughter*
I have to say, though, that the dance number seriously needs more strobe lights, a metric fuckton of glitter, and a cameo by Liza Minnelli.
BELLIGERENT, AGRARIAN, TOTALITARIAN REGIMES
*DPRK likes this*
I predict this Mr. Korea will have 23,818,753 friends.
[re=642972]JMP[/re]: Oh no. “I see you had many wins on [Wonkette] yesterday. Well goodness knows I’m not capable of that! The argot alone. Gosh. Maybe you should convert your vacation to disability! It’s pretty gorgeous, like Merkin Wimmins (D). But nothing can be as funny as Santorum going from de facto to in facto president (Stuef).
The goddamn bear hit us again last night.”
Actual email from an employed weapons complex physicist.
Sorry, this user already has too many friend requests.
North Korea has a blog too. Fortunately they believe in safe sex practices.
“The DPRK, which regards that socialist medicine is in essence prophylactic medicine, pays special attention to hygienic and anti-epidemic work… Medical workers vigorously conduct hygienic publicity campaigns among the people”
[re=642987]Serolf Divad[/re]: That all makes sense, but why is their army of extraordinary magnitude getting ready for a rumble with the Jets? That’s what I’d like to know.
Clearly this has massive implications for global security, or musical theater, that are being overlooked by the West. Or the West Side.
What were its favorite bands? In fairness, I think the men NK’s interested in are the dead ones in that ship it sank.
And, on this day, a new star was born…
It’s not a sex thing — North Korea is looking for men who can play soccer.
they can’t be gay– those uniforms are too ugly
[re=642976]Jack Stuef[/re]: 고마워, 친애하는 지도자!
[re=643082]Extemporanus[/re]: Oh yeah?
친애하는 지도자는 사랑의 공정한 자주색 기울ㄴ 전사와 저희에 민다!
Inspired by George Carlin and this site: http://www.nk-news.net/extras/insult_generator.php
This will make George Will massage his taint.
Needs more No-Dong!!1
[re=642970]Extemporanus[/re]: ty
Yes but is DPRK a top or a bottom?
My vote is for it being one of those gay-for-pay bottoms. I really like girls and don’t usually do this, but for $100 I’ll give it up just this once. Then he steals your wallet while you are in the bathroom.
You should see North Korea’s Manhunt account. It unlocked its private pictures for me. Hung like a baby’s arm.
I wonder if Hans Blix is a friend.
But what of PRK’s Stranger profile?
Handcuffs or Rope
Liquid Silk or Astroglide
tits or ass
Spit or Swallow
Feathers or Hot wax
Porn or Imagination
Professor and Naughty Schoolgirl or Doctor and Patient
Lick or Bite
Pierced or Unpierced
Finger or Vibrator
Flogger or Whip
Betty Page or Pamela Anderson
How do you suppose those dancers keep their figures so trim?
[re=643086]steverino247[/re]: I love a good long dick dong joke!
Wow, wonder who comes knocking on your door if you friend them? North Koreans or the CIA?
Those are the 20 North Koreans who AREN’T starving to death.
[re=643191]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]: Split the difference and call it AmWay.
I do wanna get added to the friends list of North Korea.
Vierect
So much for the idea that gays in the military will weaken unit cohesion.
However, I can imagine that we will now hear, more and more loudly, how gay = evil, because “You know who else is gay? North Korea!” and “Go back to North Korea, you homos!”
Awesome set design.
No, really, lots of guys are minimalist, but it takes a special vision and a whole lot of daring to go full minimalist.
Their Type-o-dong missile was actually modeled after a type of dong. They need to meet men to come up with new designs. Perhaps they should ‘friend’ Israel. I bet circumcision really helps a flying cock be more aerodynamic.
All this national pride from the official NK laptop.
Can someone please make some fake Facebook accounts to try and friend NK? Ideas on good ‘friends’?
-Dick Cheney?
-Canaan Banana?
-Those guys from the Blue Oyster bar in the Police Academy films?
-Michael Steel?
An enormous angry drag queen with nukes. We are doomed.
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This. Is fucking awesome.
If anyone hasn’t read BR. Meyer’s book “The Cleanest Race”, you really should. It’s a well researched examination of North Korea’s dominant ideology and worldview, showing how far removed it is from communism, Confucianism and the show-window doctrine of Juche Thought.
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