This is a picture of Coptic Jesus and Muhammad partying togetherDo you know what this idiotic anti-Cordoba House crusade has done? It has poisoned the atmosphere at Ground Zero, one of America’s most important places. Ground Zero is a giant open pit in the ground that has remained a sad hole surrounded by ugly temporary fencing for nearly a decade because of 21st century America’s complete and utter inability to build or do anything at all complicated, which is why we all live in the crumbling ruins of the earlier civilization that spawned us. Normally the streetscape around this sacred construction site is hallowed by street vendors selling tacky Twin Towers trinkets and tourists with fanny packs, who only got there after asking a dozen New Yorkers “where 9/11 is,” grinning like idiots for pictures. But now this sacred space has been invaded by people protesting the renovation of a Burlington Coat Factory two blocks away. Are these people spectacularly dumb? Find out after the jump! (SPOILER ALERT: They are.)

A gaggle of protesters has descended on the site to make their anti-mosque feelings known. Although the liberal media would have you think that such protesters would be exclusively white, the gaggle was actually quite diverse! Or at least it was to start with.

At one point, a portion of the crowd menacingly surrounded two Egyptian men who were speaking Arabic and were thought to be Muslims.

“Go home,” several shouted from the crowd.

“Get out,” others shouted.

In fact, the two men — Joseph Nassralla and Karam El Masry — were not Muslims at all. They turned out to be Egyptian Coptic Christians who work for a California-based Christian satellite TV station called “The Way.” Both said they had come to protest the mosque.

“I’m a Christian,” Nassralla shouted to the crowd, his eyes bulging and beads of sweat rolling down his face. But it was no use. The protesters had become so angry at what they thought were Muslims that New York City police officers had to rush in and pull Nassralla and El Masry to safety.

“I flew nine hours in an airplane to come here,” a frustrated Nassralla said afterward.

Sorry, Mr. Nas-ralluh, but real American Christians don’t cotton to the Monophysite heresy! Affirm the Council of Chalcedon or get the fuck out.

But don’t think that the protestors only had negative things to say. They also had some constructive ideas!

“A Mosque at Ground Zero Spits on the Graves of 9/11,” one placard proclaimed. Another sign depicted a toilet, with this message: “This is a Mosque. Do You Want it Built at Ground Zero?”

It’s true! The area around Ground Zero has been sorely lacking in bathroom facilities. Once the protesters get that new restroom station built, you should go down there yourself to experience the glory and the pageantry and help restore a bit of calm to the neighborhood. If you need assistance, read the informative eHow article entitled “How to Visit Ground Zero in New York City.” (“1. Find out exactly where Ground Zero is located.”) []

Thanks to Wonkette operative “byron mac” for the tip!

UPDATE: It has been brought to your editor’s attention by your other editors that this story is actually from early June! Well, whatever, do you know that the Council of Chalcedon, which caused the ruptutre between Catholic and Eastern Orthodoxy on one side and the Oriental Orthodox communion (of which the Coptic Church is a part) on the other, happened in AD 451? On that timescale, this post is actually pretty timely.

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  1. “I flew nine hours in an airplane to come here,” a frustrated Nassralla said afterward.

    I totally fucking hate it when I fly nine hours to participate in an orgy of bigotry only to find myself the object of the bigots scorn! I’m like: “No, guys, you don’t get it. I hate these people, too.” But for some reason the mob just ins’t convinced.

  2. Well, this gives me hope that we have reached the tipping point where the Bigoted Evil Moron Movement has begun its auto-cannibalization.

  3. Welcome to Amerikkka, boys! We make no distinction between your various flavors of Ay-rabs here. You’re ALL muslim blackamoors to us!

  4. “I flew nine hours in an airplane to come here,” a frustrated Nassralla said afterward. “Only to find out my terror baby brothers had already crashed their planes into the buildings,” he added. “I am red-faced. Or would be if my face wasn’t brown.”

  5. The protesters aren’t bigots — they just judge people based on what they look like. I’m the bigot for making the assumption that these people are bigots for judging people on their looks.
    There — now that we’ve gotten their formidable defense out of the way — fuck these bigots.

  6. Its a well known fact there there are no christians in the middle east. Just Joos and Muslins. All the christians left after the last crusade. That’s why we don’t care what happens to the palestinians. They’re all muslins. Or maybe joos. Who cares. They can be safely persecuted knowing there are now christians among them.

  7. As perhaps the only Copt who comments here, umm…once or twice a year, let me say that some browns don’t get it. The Palinistas want immig-ant blood in their coffee, they don’t care whether its arabica or colombian dark roast.

  8. 1. Since they flew in, would that make them “heli-coptics”? (rim shot.)
    2. Orwell was wrong in *1984* about “the two-minute hate”; He should have called it the “two-decade hate”.

  9. [re=642741]Sharkey[/re]: I’d wait for Ground 1.1 before I wasted my time on the beta or the new 1.0 release. The first service pack usually clears up a whole mess of nasty bugs.

  10. Mr. Nassralla, with all due respect, nobody’s forcing you to be Christian. You might find yourself less sweaty and your eyes less bulgy if you just became an atheist or agnostic.

  11. Real Jesus is blonde haired, blue-eyed and looks like Willam DaFoe, not some camel jockey, sand (Dr. Laura word.) Everybody knows that. He also had a swimmer’s body even though he preferred to walk on water. Miracle indeed.

    9-hour flight from California? Wow, flying carpets have really gotten better.

  12. [re=642741]Sharkey[/re]: howzabout “Ground 11” to resemble the twin towers, plus allude to the 11th, plus sez “our ground goes up to 11”.

  13. Like when those racist Punjabis showed up for that lynching in Alabama in 1946 and just got added to the tree. “Wait, wait! We though this was about Africans!”

  14. Let’s seeeeeeee….
    Let’s build a Freedom Tower.

    No: won’t make enough money.

    Let’s build a Freedom Tower Minus.

    No: I got my own guy, and he wants a big box of skyboxes.

    City: Let’s build something!

    Land owner: You said you’d build a freedom tower!

    Lease holder: Screw you! I want a big box of money.

    Sacred, sacred, holy, sacred ground that. It must be protected from anything profane.

  15. Those moronic fucks who attacked the Copts (rescued by the Cops) must have been thrilled to have a real person to direct their hatred and ignorance against. If the visitors had been Theravada Buddhist priests in saffron robes they would have been attacked as Muslins since Muslin = foreigner +dark skin which is bad.

  16. [re=642759]Sharkey[/re]: That charge, if done suddenly, can cause trauma to bigoted religofascists. He might want to ease into Quaker, then Unitarian Universalist, then slide on to agnostic, then he will be ready for atheist.

  17. Affirm the Council of Chalcedon or get the fuck out.

    I need this on a bumper sticker.

    Oh, yeah, and the 9/11 Teabuggery, nothing to do with race . . . absolutely nothing.

  18. Now these guys know how George Allen feels.

    And hey, wasn’t this a Twilight Zone episode, except with a Klan dude instead of Copts?

    Bad Copts, bad Copts, whatcha gonna do? Whatcha gonna do when the teabaggers come for you?

  19. [re=642732]Serolf Divad[/re]: Nailed it, in the first comment! I am in awe of you. Whenever I get the first comment I always type something stupid, with many typos and mis-spellings.

  20. And watch the LSM try and turn this into a case of bigotry, just because a group of people were being attacked solely because of their skin color.

  21. [re=642754]le petit mort[/re]: Thoughtful, locavore (locovore?) bigots prefer the taste of native dark blood in their coffee. The furrin stuff is for crap!

  22. Yeah but…I…but you see…there…yeah but…Jesus…see…yes but freedom…except…I mean they don’t…Islam…but but…yeah, but you don’t understand I…but they…The Muslims…I’m not…yea but…yes Egypt…but we’re not…you don’t have to…No no no…you see…but wait listen…I’m with…yeah but…

  23. These bigots are going to very disappointed when they finally meet Jesus only to see he has a very prominent nose, curly hair and is a brown!

  24. As Rep. Louis Gohmert noted earlier this week, them there terror-lovin’ browns sure do got a thing for big gapin’ holes, ain’t they?

    Did anyone Coptic a feel to make sure neither of them Eye-giptions was preggers?

  25. All across the country, republitards who believe firmly in the absolute power of the state and who nodded in agreement when Pat Robertson said 9/11 was our own fault for being sinners are now offended that some mooslins are building a community center in New York City. A city that’s not even in real America or populated with Real Americans.

  26. [re=642754]le petit mort[/re]: Great screen name. What a strange thing to call a climax: “the little death.” It makes me wonder about the French. Not for the first time.

  27. [re=642789]BlueStateLiberal[/re]: Wha? Our Savior is a JEW?!? Jesus Christ!!! BLUMPH! (sound of head exploding)

    This must happen a thousand times a day in front of the Pearly Gates. Poor St. Peter has to wear some kind of angelic poncho, like he’s at a Gallagher show that never ends.

  28. [re=642759]Sharkey[/re]: Not to start a flame war, but what exactly does that have to do with anything? It’s not as if they would’ve been beaten up any less if they were atheists, and yes, there are plenty of secular reasons to oppose a mosque. Christians’ complaints of persecutions are only bolstered by a left that prods them to give up their beliefs, especially when it has nothing to do with the circumstances.

  29. [re=642783]edgydrifter[/re]: Yeah, but they overfarmed that years past. Reservation locals aint az good as skinnin’ ’em in the wild!

  30. [re=642781]bfstevie[/re]: +1

    Affirm the Council of Chalcedon or get the fuck out.

    Josh, that appropriate, yet arcane subreference was postively Benincasa-esque! Not to take anything away from your cleverness. I’m just another Wonketteer ensared by her charms.

  31. According to Facebook, there is a rally to “Stop Islamophobia & Racist Threats” that is meeting at 10 AM at Church and Warren Streets on Sunday. Gather all your liberal friends and come.

  32. [re=642742]Doglessliberal[/re]: “Fucking Coptic fucking Christians. Splitters!”

    [re=642743]Radiotherapy[/re]: I have a LOL hovering about my empty little head in a helicoptic right now.

  33. [re=642754]le petit mort[/re]: [re=642798]Extemporanus[/re]: No offense.

    Hey, do you ever end phone calls or correspondence with the phrase “Copt, OUT!”? Ya know, like Ryan Seacrest?

    You totally should.

  34. Good for those dumb fucks (the Copts). Now they know. I’m sure they promote some silly shit on their “The Way” broadcasts. Broadcast *this* motherfuckers. I find it funny when people show up to be tokens and get mistaken for the enemy.

  35. [re=642764]le petit mort[/re]: This may become the first wonkette link I ever send to my intellectual and liberal, of course, given the first adjective United Methodist Pastor. I’m on the edge of my chair, just waiting for the Gnostic reference to find it’s way here. Or someone to mock the Babylonian Captivity.

    BTW–Just as I’m about to have a productive day, Josh makes wonkette to funny to ignore. Fuck you, editor. I have a lot of shit to do and you’re not helping.

  36. Can browns and multiracial folk please hurry up the fucking and get to outnumbering the whites already? I am so tired of my fellow caucasian-Americans making me feel sick and ashamed.

  37. For Dogs sake, let’s just plow everything down for mile around the 9/11 hole and make it a parking lot. These idiots can then lease a spot and put up their own shrine to Jeebus, Ayn Rand, Bubba or whatever deity makes your soul tingle.

  38. [re=642800]Aurelio[/re]: [re=642754]le petit mort[/re]: FAIT VRAI: An orgasm is one of only two non-voluntary, non-life threatening, physiological actions in which every single muscle in one’s body contracts in unison.

    The other? A sneeze.

  39. [re=642804]Mad Brahms[/re]: “Imagine there’s no countries
    It isn’t hard to do
    Nothing to kill or die for
    And no religion too
    Imagine all the people
    Living life in peace”

    You have point though, and I am basically a “live and let live” Sharkey.

  40. The crusaders didn’t let a shared belief in the Jesus Christ stop them from wasting some Orthodox and Coptics Christians on their way to pillage the holy land either.

  41. [re=642819]JMP[/re]: See also [re=642817]you didn’t ask, but[/re]. What’s with all the hostility going on in this thread? Coptic Christ, I’m not trying to PC-out, but if you’re trying to argue that people protesting a mosque are wrong by simultaneously trashing people’s religious beliefs, you may want to work on your logic.

  42. [re=642800]Aurelio[/re]: I was accidentally copied on an (romantic, I hope?) e-mail up here in Canuckistan yesterday which read “Ton odeur me manque bébé chien”; “I miss your smell, little dog”

    Makes you wonder, indeed.

  43. “A gaggle of protesters has descended on the site to make their anti-mosque feelings known.”

    It’s not a gaggle of protesters, it’s a cackle of protesters. Just thought I’d clear that up.

  44. [re=642836]Mad Brahms[/re]: Yes, but in all likelihood we are too tired from fasting in desert caves and running from Dhimmitude to lift a bowling ball.

  45. “1. Find out exactly where Ground Zero is located.”

    I live two blocks from Ground Zero, which has basically been a giganic, urban construction zone for the past several years. One day a couple of years ago, I was walking past when a couple of young Italian tourists stopped be right next to Ground Zero to ask for directions.

    “Where are the world towers?” one of them asked.

    I said: “Do you mean the ones that were knocked down?”

    “Yes! Yes!”

    “This is the place.”

    (Cue confused facial expressions.)

    As has been noted elsewhere, the place is a huge tourist mecca, with street vendors selling postcards and booklets of the towers ablaze and/or crumbling along with NYFD caps. In the early days, before above-street construction started, it was not uncommon to see tourists shooting video that panned from the ground up into the sky – where the towers used to be.

    This local says build the damn center. We could use a community swimming pool.

  46. [re=642733]Doglessliberal[/re]: This gives me hope too, for my brand of justice is when you get what you deserve. My hope is for a teabagger night of the living dead turn against gay Republicans, black Republicans, Muslim (yes!) Republicans, and any Hispanics stupid enough to be a Republican.

    And please, you government worker cops, stay out of it.

  47. [re=642857]June Cleaver 2.0[/re]: From the looks of it, this night has already begun, though it’s only about 8:00 so the real party hasn’t really kicked off yet.

  48. Oh, sigh. I keep trying to think of a place where I can move in which people will just leave each other the fuck alone, but all I come up with is “Mars”. I don’t think they have waterfront condos there.

  49. [re=642857]June Cleaver 2.0[/re]: [re=642864]Mad Brahms[/re]: One can only hope, but I think there are too few nutters yet to win.

    I mean, just here in my Ole’ Virginny, we have am elected AG who is suing a UVA prof to get his notes because he, the AG, states that doesn’t believe in climate change and so wants to “prove” that ths noted scientists, whose work has been repeatedly validated, committed fraud. This same AG is suing the USA over health insurance and the EPA over its right to regulate greenhouse gasses.

    Oh, and our governor, having cut after-school programs, school lunches, any funding of state pension plans (I could go on, for a long time), now is trumpeting the “surplus” in our budget. As my spouse says, our household would have a surplus if we didn’t pay for food or the mortgage.

    Sorry, just have a hard time staying in a laughing mode these days.

  50. [re=642754]le petit mort[/re]: Hey, small world*, I’m a Maronite – or at least I would be if I believed in the value of organized Christianity and I was practicing.

    *small world in the specific sense of: “we both may have familial roots somewhere around the eastern end of the Meditteranean basin, and those roots may have each practiced a form of christianity that differs in significant ways from the majority sects.”

  51. I think we are seeing now the signs of the impending apocalypse, portents and omens, indicating that the moment which has been foretold is quickly approaching. That moment, that moment, similar to the moment that came to the people of Rockville, when the townspeople, who had been misinterpreting the frantic warnings as “the sherrif is near,” finally saw their new sherrif, and realized, “My God, he is an N-Word!”

    Yes, the pigfuckers of America have clearly been in a state of shock and semi-paralysis since election night in 2008, severly affected by cognitive dissonance (those capable of cogitation, anyway), for all this time, the pigfuckers have been in denial, or distracting themselves, or transferring their rage, employing the full panoply of avoidance techniques that humankind has at its disposal. But now, clearly, the moment is at hand, when they cannot any longer deny, evade, or ignore, what has happened, they are beginning te really internalize the full import of the fact that the president is black, and then, at that moment when it strikes them, all of the pigfuckers, at that moment, their heads will asplode.

    They won’t die, of course, no, but their brains will cease functioning entirely, and they will rampage mindlessly, wreaking havoc and devastation.

    Stock up on non-perishable staples, but most of all, buy bullets, they will be worth more then their weight in gold.

  52. The healing gift of religon… I say let’s revive the good old days of Christian on Christian hate. Albigensian massacres, Savonarola BBQs and St. Bartholomew’s Day… good times.

  53. [re=642825]Extemporanus[/re]: And we say, “God bless you” when someone sneezes, because the soul has left the body, just as it does in le petit mort. So why don’t we say “God bless you” when someone has an orgasm?

  54. [re=642833]Mad Brahms[/re]: This is the influence of hip-hop, which caused French speakers to replace “petit poulette” with “little dog.” This is yet another example of US imperialism.

  55. [re=642891]mercure[/re]: Always good to meet a fellow sand denizen. Don’t worry, I’m a terrible Copt. I just wear the uniform from time to time when it’s convenient.

  56. [re=642934]Aurelio[/re]: Excellent point.

    For what is an orgasm, really, but simply a more polite way of saying “dick sneeze”?

    (As far as I know, women don’t have orgasms, so this nomenclature would of course not apply to them.)

  57. [re=642828]le petit mort[/re]: This is supposed to be a friendly site, so let’s not start a flame war about the…nostrums? Is that what you said? Is that related to sneezes? I don’t know what the fuck we’re talking about now, so I bow to your superior knowledge of theology and philosophy. Either that, or you have more to wiki shit than I do.

  58. [re=642771]Doglessliberal[/re]: Cold turkey is the only real way to Atheism.

    [re=642910]Prommie[/re]: Pigfuckers of America. Is that like a union or like some Ag class in high school?

    (And I’ll bet you’re sexy as hell whispering “pigfucker” in your partner’s ear. Seriously. I’d be tempted to spend good money to have that done.)

  59. [re=643118]DustBowlBlues[/re]: more time to wiki shit, obviously.

    Why is it that a bunch of dumb cracker guvment employees who didn’t get shit for the fact they were bombed by a guy just for that fact (if a loved one is blown up by a terrorist, pray he has swarthy skin. It pays out better) can build the Oklahoma City Memorial with no controversy, under budget and completed earlier than scheduled? It’s tasteful, moving and there’s no vender shit. As hard as the full Memorial experience is, I suggest anyone cursed with traveling through the Heartland pay it a visit. Just to see that, yes, it’s possible to do something decent here.

    BTW–With the Teabaggers is full swing, I still predict that Tim McVeigh commemorative tee-shirts will be seen on some of their cracker backs, sooner rather than later. The real money maker would be a shirt with McVeigh on one side and a minaret with an international banned symbol over it on the other. Go for it, people. I just gave you the next great Capitalist retail crap idea.

  60. Just to be clear, we don’t get offended by tourists because we’re still traumatized from 9/11, a decade later. We get offended by tourists because you’re assholes who fill our sidewalks with your fat asses, and because you complain from thousands of miles away about a mosque you couldn’t spot walking down the street, let alone point out on a map, but meanwhile, once you actually land in New York, you do classy things like this “mere yards from Ground Zero”. It’s not like we come over to your home town and start groping the testicles on your statues, you know.

    Sacred ground, indeed.

  61. [re=643159]mumblyjoe[/re]: On the other hand, there’s something very poetic about how many redneck pigfuckers come in from every corner of the rest of the country, and then once they land, one of the first things they do is go down to Wall Street to get teabagged by an iconic symbol of America’s financial sector.

  62. I’m a Halfrican American like Barry (cept more so since I was born in DC and he was born in HI), but I get mistaken for the Turrist du Jour (Messican, Ay-Rab, etc.) wherever I go due to long hair. It amuses the fuck out of me that people like me are becoming more common in the United States, we’re related to people on both sides of this ridiculous chasm, and yet we instill so much fear into Whitey.

    So, splain it to me Whitey?

  63. I demand that Sarah Palin and all peace-loving Christians refudiate this attack on Egyptian Christians!

    Actually, I’m still trying to follow the argument…

    It isn’t about anyone’s First Amendment rights, it’s just a question of propriety. Right? And the president, who is just like Stalin, isn’t acting enough like Hitler. He should tell American citizens what the appropriate times and methods are for exercising their constitutional rights. And if he doesn’t, he’s just like Stalin. Even though he was already just like Hitler.

    But the whole Dr. Laura ni**er-fest argument is…

    Just questioning its propriety violates her First Amendment rights!

  64. [re=643179]Chuckie Jesus[/re]: “I’m a Halfrican American like Barry (cept more so since I was born in DC…)”

    Hey, just like me! Except born in VA, so my vote counts (but, not enough to keep fucktards like Cuccinelli out of office : / ).

    Anyway speaking from my lighter half, nothing surprises me in this country anymore…but, if you ask me; ‘Whitey’ went wrong when the Council of Chalcedon split Eastern and Oriental Orthodoxy. Last I checked, Eastern = Oriental. But, I’m not a student or specific follower of any religion…and, I doubt the Council was actually blonde-haired, blue-eyed, DaFoe’s w/ swimmers bodies…(BigDupa, that was GREAT!) so, go figure.

    It’s just really sad that we’ve reduced to this state, and things now are truly just about melanin, what you look like and who you pray to. That’s not very “American” at all. And everyday we act like this, Osama PWNS and kittens get stoned by little Al-Qaeda/Taliban children in Tora Bora…SAVE THE KITTENS!!!

    June Cleaver 2.0: “…any Hispanics stupid enough to be a Republican”

    There are *more* than you’d think, and a LOT here in VA. I’d wager a good number show up to these Teabagger-Mobs in support. But like those Coptics, have to start proving/declaring their validity, ‘Habla-ing’ Español and/or twangy-English REALLY quickly, as to not be confused with no GAT-Dang Mooslems.

    I just hope that they’re pleased that McDonnell is trying to pull an ‘Arizona’ on their culos. Don’t drive back from DC to NoVa with faulty lights/tags/registration/buzzed/non-HOV now, unless you bring those birth certificates! Cause when State/Fairfax Co. Po-Po pulls you over, blasting La MEGA/El SOL…all that they will see is brown and possibly illegal. iCuidado!

  65. [re=643368]TheevingWonker[/re]: [re=643179]Chuckie Jesus[/re]: Today, we are all half-breed muslins.

    (which is to say, me too! but don’t have anything else to add, really)

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