Nevada scribe Sharron Angle believes that the color black is satanic! Or at least she used to, before her campaign advisers started telling her to appear more “tolerant.” Senator Harry Reid also is satanic, which is why he’s making t-shirts with this design, which mocks Angle for once campaigning against black high-school football jerseys full of Devil Power.
According to Nevada’s Pahrump Valley Times*, in the early 1990s, Angle learned that the coach of her local high school football team, the Tonopah Jesuspeeps, hoped to get his players excited for their upcoming homecoming game against rivals the Laughlin Shariacreeps by having them wear black jerseys. The shirts would help his players remember their terrible loss against the Shariacreeps the previous year, and motivate them. But then a group including (led?) by Angle stepped in and started talking about how the evil spirits contained inside black jerseys would make the team lose their game and their souls.
When asked about the incident at a recent meeting for Republican women, Angle was wearing bright blue — which the religious-color website Godweb says symbolizes skies, air, and personal being-amazingness. She told a reporter:
“I will just tell you that [Pahrump Valley Times leditor] Bill Roberts and I have completely different recollections,” Angle said. “That was 20 years ago and it really doesn’t matter because Nevadans care about their homes, their jobs and the economy.”
Angle added her religious views are the basis of her value system. “Many people embrace my value system because they know I’m not going to lie.”
She’s got a point. In the end, it really doesn’t matter if America’s senators believe that certain colors will conjure up Satan, or that crossing a black cat’s path will cause brain leprosy, or any such things — as long as Americans are still holding onto their low-paying service jobs. Somehow.
You know, it only takes a few hours of work at Starbucks or Wal Mart or some place to afford one of Harry Reid’s new shirts. So “Get yours today!” Or just maybe start thinking about it, unless you’re afraid of Satan.
*Pahrump derives its name from “pahrump!” — an excitable utterance commonly used by 19th-century locals when complaining about the local saloons’ poor selections of microbrews. [The Atlantic Wire/HarryReid.com/Huffington Post]
{ 52 comments }
Somehow, I just don’t think this will have the staying power of people wearing chicken suits at Sue Lowden’s campaign appearances.
…and yet, she’s a popular candidate.
It’s not okay for an atheist to run for office, but “normal” US Americans are fine when the barely functional nitwit crazy Xtians run?
What’s up with that photo of Ms. Angle on “therealsharronangle.com” geting out of a nice pickup truck?
Doesn’t she understand it has to be a Canhardly, a beater?
This woman really is clueless.
Now I know those goth kids can be annoying at times, but they’re just pretentious and insecure, not evil, most of them are perfectly nice just a little weird.
So does this mean the Oakland Raiders are inherently evil, at least when playing at home?
I’d like to plant a 4-inch stiletto heel into Sharron’s pahrump.
She can’t bet on black because of her religious beliefs, so she’s forced to bet on red at the roulette wheels found here and there in her state. WAIT! That makes her a red-loving commie. Unless she bets green. WAIT! That makes her a global warming hoaxifying commie. Unless she doesn’t bet. WAIT! That means she doesn’t support the poor suffering Nevada casino owners, which makes her a commie.
She’s a Christian Reconstructionist. Suffice it to say that in the larger world of Evangelical Christians, she’s one of the few people a Talibangelical might look at and say “that bitch is crazy!” They are, however, big proponents of the “Free Market Jesus” school of theological thought which explains their power in the Tea Party, which is basically a three card monte scam gone horribly, horribly awry.
When Harry Reid finally beats Sharon Angle, I hope he knocks down her house and builds a mosque on the site.
1. Her religious views are the basis of her political views.
2. Her religious views “don’t matter” when it comes to this subject of evil colors.
Sic: 3. Nevadans can trust her, because she won’t lie, and this statement is false.
It’s the Cretan Liar’s paradox dumbed down to a Cretin liar’s paradox.
(Oh, and confusing associations with attributes is a classic stupid person move and, coincidentally, a favorite tactic of the Tea Party. You know — “He bowls poorly, and so did Pol Pot!”)
My fellow Nevadans, if you play a Harry Reid album backwards, you can hear him invoke Beelzebub.
Today, black is the new black.
Or is it that today we’re all Black?
I’m so confused…
The GOP, it is the bull moose loon party now. It has nothing left but teh crazee.
Yeah, fuck her. Tell that shit to Johnny Cash.
I’m just wondering on her thoughts about the tribe of Ham – y’know, the ones who were supposedly turned dark because of their rejection of the God of Abraham? Is that what she’s getting at – and if so, does the Secret Service need to have a sit down with her?
Between this and the ALL CAPS demand to stop funding entitlements she fired off the Harry Reid at the same time, one has to ask – has her medication gotten (slightly) better? I thought she was loopy now, but apparently back then she was a card carrying member of the black helicopter squad.
hey youse guys left out the most important part of this significant story: how did the football do without their new black jerseys? win or lose?
Wow…
Cannot wait until she get’s asked about how this black = inherently evil, Satanic thing applies to skin color.
From that “Religious color-coding website” thingy:
Black
Said to represent the absolute, constancy, eternity or the womb, black may also denote death, fear and ignorance. Black is the liturgical color of Good Friday.
Wait, so Good Friday is of the devil? Why does Sharron Angle hate Jeepus so much???! (?!!)
There’s only one football team that should ever be wearing black jerseys (shirts!) in America.
- Cornhusker Kickback.
[re=642615]dijetlo[/re]: Is Free Market Jesus related to Big Butter Jesus?
What a coincidence — the Shi’ite Muslims wear black in mourning for the death of the twelfth Imam, murdered by his rivals when he was a boy. Well I’m just glad they’re open-minded enough to let Muslims play football in Arizona.
[re=642629]inedalo[/re]: They won. It was their only win of the season.
[re=642616]WadISay[/re]: Now THAT’S funny! And then he could make jokes when he was back home in Searchlight, like, “I can see Sharron Angle’s house from here–NOT! Hyuk, hyuk, hyuk!”
I hope she comes to DC on the 28th for the Palin Beck Comedy Hour, with “special” guest, Ted Nuggetbrain, who will field dress a “volunteer” (ie, one baited with “beer,” instead of the usual Purina Deer Chow that he sprinkles on his lawn to entice Bambi) while singing “Stranglehold,” which was the best wife-beater song until the new Eminem/Rhianna wife-beater song came out.
Sharron Angle: The extra “R” is for “Retarded”
It’s a well known absolute true fact that wearing paisley will turn you gay.
What is your stance on paisley Sharon? Hmmmm?
I can understand her feelings. After all, all those hips Noo Yawkahs wear black and we know how eeeeevil all of them are. Except the ones trying to build the Greek Orthodox Church where a brothel used to be. And the ones protesting that mosque. But aside from that, the entire city can go drown. Except Ground Zero, of course.
Sharron Angle: Ed Anger died and was reincarnated as this bitch! He must have killed too many kittens while he was alive.
Now I have to go and change into something all black, heat wave be damned.
Priests wear black, don’t they? Nuff said.
And why is it, most, not all, but most bibles are bound in black.
Does that make the bible evil in Sharon’s mind? Huh!
I’m pretty sure you have the origin of “Pahrump” wrong. It got its name because the most popular pastime for the boys in old-timey nevada was to get it on with Pa’s Rump. Which was totally not gay, because they’re not like that.
“[T]the gist of their argument was that black as a color was thoroughly evil, invoking the supernatural and especially the devil”
That statement sums up the fundamental platform of the Teabag/GOP movement and their views of President Obama.
Light blue is the new black.
[re=642631]mumblyjoe[/re]: Black is the liturgical color of Good Friday because the church is in mourning.
Black as a color of mourning is common enough, and for all of us to mourn the injustices done to people we call “black” would be fitting. The “black equals evil” is a wee bit more Germanic.
Tell it to the N.Z. Rugby team.
How many page views does a Wonkette blogger need to be able to afford one of those shirts?
Why is this loon not running in negative poll numbers?
Who knew the Little Black Dress was a sign of the End Times?
So that’s the real reason behind the dominance of New Zealand in rugby for so long.
[re=642630]Anonymous Office Zombie[/re]: the ‘ black football jersies are evil ‘ spin was code for ‘ black people are evil’. she got the point across without having to own it , like a mama grisly would . that’s grisly , not grizzly
rush , sarah , bachmann , and even sharron have been photographed wearing evil black , ( sometimes trimmed with slut red ). or it that when they wear black , they just call it ” dark , dark , really dark white ” ?
As every overwrought woman knows, black is very sinning.
how does she feel about nuns’ habits, or the traditional parish father attire…. ohhhhhhhhhh. i get it.
[re=642668]Sparky McGruff[/re]: “Pahrump!” I scoffed to the bartender, “What do you mean you don’t have Anderson Valley IPA on tap?”
[re=642729]rmjag[/re]: I think you might be on to something there, though I’m not sure I’d credit Angle with being clever enough to purposely construct even that none-too-subtle code.
More than ikely, she just made a dumb typo in her original statement, and decided to run with it:
“…blacks’ football jersies are evil…”
[re=642763]Extemporanus[/re]: “I likely Ikely!”
[re=642763]Extemporanus[/re]: Haha, I made a dumb typo in a sentence containing the phrase “made a dumb typo”!
*sigh* Today, I am literally Sarron Angle…and this black text is obviously possessed by the evil spirit of Satan.
[re=642609]JMP[/re]: I think the word you’re searching for is “awful.”
That was 20 years ago and it really doesn’t matter because the drugs used to treat paranoid schizophrenia are much much better now.
Didn’t Malcolm X put this whole discussion to rest about 40 years ago?
Harry Reid is a practicing Mormon and he comes off as the normal, religious candidate.
That former boxer is playing Aikido with these pubtards.
Wow; so’s to be a good Christen and all I have to go out and buy a light blue biker jacket?
Do they even make that puppy?
(Don’t get off track now; I have never to my knowledge worn a coat made out of puppy hides.)
What I tell my wife.
“Look, I know he was born black but I would vote for him again and if you had any sense left you would too.” (we do not discuss this any more and I hate driving her car ‘teapartystickerituss’ if you know what I mean. We live in a Democrat county and I have to smile as someone gives me an obscene gesture as I drive past.)
Almost as if I were wearing a coat of puppy hides.
[re=643184]Icecycle[/re]:
You suffer a Republican to live? Leave your Democratic county, you don’t live here anymore!
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