Free citizens of America! Is globalism grinding you down and burying you in Ameros? Are Obama’s secret police camped out in your driveway, waiting to haul you off to a FEMA camp? Does the NAFTA Superhighway run straight through your teabag sculpture garden? Got a case of the swine flu and aren’t sure which pig is responsible? The Trillion-Dollar Conspiracy: How the New World Order, Man-Made Diseases, and Zombie Banks Are Destroying America by widely-feted conspiracy journalist Jim Marrs will explain how and why!
Reading this book is literally equivalent to having your eyes pulled open with metal tongs. The Founding Fathers will thank you for reading it. Samuel Adams will interrupt your next séance, shake your hand, say “THANK YOU PATRIOT,” and then make out with you. Additionally, The Trillion-Dollar Conspiracy will teach you valuable practical skills, like how to get fluoride out of your bank and the Rothschilds out of your drinking water.
What is this thing about? Let’s begin with a quotation:
To be a zombie is to exist under the most onerous bonds of slavery — bonds that allow for no thought to one’s action. Zombies are controlled both mentally and physically by some outside force, whether through a virus causing them to seek blood, or voodoo magic. A zombie is nether dead nor alive and usually under the control of someone else, as in the old Hollywood films. Zombies stumble about, largely unaware of the world around them, intent on purposes that others have created for them through alchemy or electromagnetism.
Marrs thinks you might be a zombie, actually. Why? Because unlike the Tea Party, you aren’t resisting the “globalist fascist” international bankers who manipulate the world economy and laugh about it all day. You probably don’t even know that these wealthy bankers are socialists! Let the man explain:
In 2008, many saw the nation turn from National Socialism to Marxist Socialism, when the totalitarian Bush administration turned over power to the Obama administration — an administration that favors socialist Medicare policies and redistributions of wealth.
Who are the socialist/fascist bankers pulling these strings? Oh, you know: public secret societies like the Bilderburg Group and the Trilateral Commission; the Rockefellers; the Rothschilds and their excellent conspiracy wine; the ancient Khazar Empire…
Nowhere was the art of making money out of money more developed than in the ancient Khazar Empire…
According to the Random House Encyclopedia, “Some scholars believe they [the Khazars] are the progenitors of many Eastern European Jews.” This would include the renowned Rothschild family, who financially ruled Europe for more than a century. Conspiracy researchers claim they still dominate the world financial order and have been the financial backers of the Rockefellers and other wealthy families.
Eventually the Khazars’ caravans and trade routes became “zombie banks” and the Swine Flu, which Marrs is convinced was created in a laboratory to frighten/piggify the world. The overall results might have been disappointing, but the Khazar bankers did manage to turn a few people into obedient pig-zombies.
Everyone is so drugged with Twitter and reality teevee — but simultaneously scared to death by overhyped pig plagues — that we won’t oppose this socialist banker elite. This leads to deepening debt, collapsing economies, insane drug wars, futile foreign military adventures, a brutal militarized police force, usurious banks, a crumbling and ineffectual education system, and pig viruses spread through the Twitter. Plus the NAFTA Superhighway, which will dissolve our borders and let in all kinds of aliens, terrestrial and extraterrestrial.
Obviously, many of those things are worth worrying about. Marrs’s response to these horrors is to survey the chaos and conclude that somebody — the Rothschilds, the Bilderberg Group, the Khazars, anybody — is behind all of it. Find someone to blame, make up a bunch of ahistorical spooky tales, and HOORAY YOU’VE EXPLAINED EVERYTHING. Marrs and his fellow “conspiracy researchers” have a tough time dealing with the inherent weirdness and messiness of human history, and why not? It’s easier to believe in Khazar bank goblins. And uncertainty is probably a Jewish thing anyway.
That said, can the Khazar bankers please get going with this NAFTA Superhighway? Actually, make that a NAFTA High-Speed Rail System. Imagine: you’re sitting at your office desk on Friday and say to yourself, “Gee, I’d like to spend the evening drinking Negra Modelo and sitting by the fountain in Coyoacán, or wake up tomorrow in Oaxaca.” Mexicans who’ve dreamt of playing ice hockey can hop easy rides to Vancouver and Montreal, and Canadians can finally escape their animist Beaver-God theocracy. It will be glorious.
A full-on camp fantasia about Illuminati, aliens, rampaging Golems, and Lugosi-like zombies might have made this book fun and interesting. Marrs takes his shadowy overlords way too seriously.
The Trillion-Dollar Conspiracy: How the New World Order, Man-Made Diseases, and Zombie Banks Are Destroying America by Jim Marrs, William Morrow (division of HarperCollins!), 464 pages, $17.81
Thank you to zombie Wonkette operative “Ian R.” for suggesting this important exposé. Send secret NAFTA Subway maps to greer.mansfield@gmail.com
{ 59 comments }
I blame the saucer people and reverse vampires.
A good one to add the the Dove World Outreach Center’s bonfire?
Ha ha, what a maroon! Zombies don’t give a fuck about blood; they need living human tissue, especially brains. Everybody knows that.
Right now a FOX News exec is drawing up a TV contract.
A zombie is nether dead nor alive and usually under the control of someone else, as in the old Hollywood films.
And people often just break out into song and dance, backed up by an 80-piece orchestra, as in the old Hollywood films. Coincidence, people?
“Canadians can finally escape their animist Beaver-God theocracy.”
I guess women have the vote there too, eh?
[re=641786]hiphophitler[/re]: I was wondering why my ATM has started to make “nom nom” noises when I deposit my check. It’s ZOMBIE BANKS! COVER YOUR HEADS AND RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!
These damn terrist bankers made me buy a big-screen tv, a big-ass SUV and a McMansion I couldn’t afford, just to keep me a slave to my debt.
How timely. Granma devoted significant column space to Tio Fidel’s musings on the Build-a-Burger franchise. Downward-looking caged Cuban parrots are all aflutter about it, as are those Cubans suffering from chronic diarrhea.
This is like Alex Jones on steroids, with some filler.
Finally, someone willing to stop George Allen.
I’d love to hear Mssr. Marrs take on the glowing wild pigs running amok in Germany.
http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=129008757
I could use a wealthy but secretive financial backer. Nordstom is having a sale on shoes. Where can I meet one of these Khazars?
Sounds like someone eat enough brains before writing. Fortunately the target readers for his work also do not eat enough brains either.
“A zombie is nether dead nor alive and usually under the control of someone else, as in the old Hollywood films.”
The studio system was but look at the great product they put out.
No lizard peoples? Needs lizard peoples.
I swear I thought you were kidding about the book title and clicked on the link to see what it really was called. And the publisher is William Morrow, not some vanity press (or Regnery but I am being redundant).
[re=641813]harry palmer[/re]: Was tyrannical, that is.
For a minute I was amazed that people still write this shit. Then I realized that right before I went to bed last night I turned on the tube and Kevin Trudeau was on two different channels hawking whatever the hell he hasn’t been arrested for yet, and people eat it up. So an updated Protocols of the Elders of Zion really should come as no surprise.
[re=641804]Terry[/re]: They’re all at Nordstrom’s, of course. Gotta be frugal if you’re going to secretly finance the globalist cabal for hundreds of years.
KHAZARS DID WTC
No “911 was an inside job”? Conspiracy FAIL.
That’s the price some pay for a simple life.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=22Ia1Ed6ohM
That’s nice, but where do the aliens come into this? Are ancient Khazar Jewish aliens the ones turning everyone into zombie-vampires?
[re=641796]user-of-owls[/re]: I would love a Build-A-Burger franchise. This should actually happen.
[re=641824]4tehlulz[/re]: Fine minds and all. Salute’!
Oh I hate the Colonel, with his wee beady eyes and that secret ingredient he puts in his chicken to make you crave it fortnightly…
[re=641835]imissopus[/re]: Are you cleaving me?
So, zombies are real, the Jews secretly control the world, and Obama is a marxist.
Does this book have any information that I don’t already know?
I don’t know about the banking and the Jews and the rest of the stuff, but based on the excerpt, what this man doesn’t know about zombies could keep George Romero’s career going for eternity.
Khazars? What rot. Everyone knows it’s the damn dirty Cumans who are secretly controlling the world!
I’m totally with you on the NAFTA superhighway thing, but only if I can change all my money to Ameros first.
I’d pick up a copy, but I don’t trust the post office, and my UPS driver works for Acorn (brown truck). I don’t go near bookstores because I don’t want to get kidnapped and put on one of those FEMA Death Trains.
My favorite element of all of these books, radio shows, correspondence classes, and newsletters, is that they can never explain how the omnipotent conspiracy fails to notice them.
So, the whole world is controlled, except the Tea Party movement, which is massive and the majority of Americans, but the majority do not understand the truth that the Tea Party, which are the select few, bring, and so they must illuminate these fools and dupes, and that is why their numbers swell, because they face universal opposition!
Uhhh, when it did become ok for mainstream publishing companies to put out books blaming the world’s problems on jewish bankers? I guess 60 years is long enough.
And uncertainty is probably a Jewish thing anyway.
Can you say Heisenberg?
Does Marrs offer any hints as to how you go about joining the Global Conspiracy to Make Us All Zombies? I’ll just assume that the Masters of the World are reading Wonkette from their subterranean lair at the Umbilicus Mundi and ask this: do you offer health care benefits and/or pay a competitive wage in Ron Paul gold?
All the quotes and references in this book come from the Random House Encyclopedia and the Random House Dictionary.
“In 2008, many saw the nation turn from National Socialism to Marxist Socialism”
Wait, what? I mean, the second part is sort of de rigueur for tea-party types, but the first part? Is he calling Bush a nazi? Or…
Mansfield, don’t leave us hanging here!
[re=641909]Mad Brahms[/re]: Ahaha, or i could re-read it, and it could make sense, given the previous sentence. Oops! Still, what the heck?
The Khazar = Ashkenazi trope has had some really skeevy adherents, like Iron Cross recipient Henry Ford and the Christian Identity movement.
Rabid anti-zombite.
How soon before this book gets Glenn Beck’s endorsement? Counting.
needz moar evil albino monks
I’ve always wanted to ask these guys why did [insert true World Ruler here] allow you to publish your expose in the first place? If they truely control everything, shouldn’t you have been found dead in a one car “accident” shortly after submitting your manuscript to your mega-corp publisher?
Of course bankers are socialists. I see them every day just standing out on street corners trying to force their free socialist monies on people, the bastards. The other day one tried to give me a suitcase full of free cash, but being the proud teatard that I am, I rejected it of course.
Jim Marrs? Que? He was in a movie. http://www.matchflick.com/pimages/4530.jpg
[re=641877]Oblios Cap[/re]: Despite the “berg”, Heisenberg was not Jewish, and in fact lead the project that attempted to develop the atomic bomb for the Nazis.
[re=641945]JMP[/re]: They actually perfected the suitcase bomb, but the cat ate it…or did he?
I’ll wait to see the movie, directed by Oliver Stone?
[re=642089]whiterabid[/re]: Jon (author of “The Men Who Stare at Goats”) Ronson’s second book, Them: Adventures with Extremists, is an investigative account of his experiences with people labelled as extremists, including David Icke, Randy Weaver, Omar Bakri Muhammad, Ian Paisley, and Thom Robb. Ronson also follows independent investigators of secretive groups such as the Bilderberg Group. The narrative tells of Ronson’s attempts to infiltrate the “shadowy cabal” fabled, by these conspiracy theorists, to rule the world.[2] The book, a bestseller[citation needed], was described by Louis Theroux as “funny and compulsively readable picaresque adventure through a paranoid shadow world.”[3]
Variety magazine announced in September 2005 that Them has been purchased by Universal Pictures to be turned into a feature film. The screenplay is being written by Mike White (School of Rock, The Good Girl), produced by White and the comedian Jack Black, and directed by Edgar Wright (Shaun of the Dead). – http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jon_Ronson
[re=641945]JMP[/re]: Iceberg, Goldberg, what’s the difference?
I saw these words at the end of the review: “William Morrow (division of HarperCollins!” And I wept. This isn’t Regnery or God’s BFF Books (there must be such a publisher somewhere). This is primary entity in our dying mainstream publishing industry, exploiting idiot consumers of racist, xenophobic, and at least partly, plainly, antisemitic gar-bahhhge and now I think, eh, maybe not so bad it’s dying.
Who reads books anymore anyway? Also.
Zombies are good people.They usually don’t say much.I invite some of them over to watch Wipeout on my 66″.Once I accidentaly sat on the remote and Beck poppep up on the screen.They start screaming Khazar,Khazar.It was really spooky.
Khazars! I love that wonderful canard. Insult Jews and then say that they’re not REALLY Jews, they’re Khazars.
[re=641877]Oblios Cap[/re]: Heisenberg was a German. He was almost assassinated by a Jewish baseball player tho: the famous Moe Berg:
“…Berg became a spy assigned to unveiling Nazi Germany’s atomic capabilities, and he was part of a potential mission to assassinate Werner Heisenberg, the director of the Nazi atom-bomb research program. Because Berg spoke fluent German and was uniquely capable of digesting complicated scientific information, he was sent to Zurich to attend a lecture Heisenberg gave about the bomb to Nazi authorities. Berg determined that the possibility of a Nazi atom bomb was distant, and the assassination plot was called off. …”
Is Berg in the HOF? (Wikipedia sez ‘Casey Stengel once described Berg as “the strangest man ever to play baseball”.’)
I’ve read several of Marrs creations and they would be marvelous if he didn’t have the worst writing style available. Eric Van Daniken meets Community Planning Doctoral Dissertation. The organizations that are capable of running the world secretly don’t want to. As a labor leader told me once during negotiations, “AXE, we don’t want to run your business…you’ve got too many labor problems.” Why would the Khazars and the Illuminati and the Jesuits and the Comintern want to run this thing? Don’t they have enough problems running Alvin Greene and Sharon Angle?
[re=642152]WriteyWriterton[/re]: I posted something similar above but you actually explained it. Harper Collins is part of Rupert Murdoch’s empire so now it makes sense.
And yes, we are spiraling downward at an alarming rate.
[re=642244]qwerty42[/re]:
I did not know that. thanks.
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