Alabama Politician Inadvertently Exposes Nick Saban’s Lameness

by Riley Waggaman

TLANick Saban has won a lot of “football,” according to Wikipedia, and that is why every Alabama politician lusts after The Nick Saban Endorsement, because it is some sort of football sports analogy for something really great that is sure to bring you victory. Sadly Nick Saban hates politics and never endorses anybody. But that didn’t stop Dorothy Davidson — a Bessemer, Alabama, mayoral candidate — who went ahead and got Nick Saban’s endorsement anyway, using a picture of him and Adobe’s “Photoshop.” The critics say Dorothy Davidson has no right to pretend that she stood next to Coach Saban and smiled with him as if they were best friends. Well, that’s not what we say. We say: Nick Saban is rich, according to Wikipedia, so why is it that every unphotoshopped photograph of Nick Saban shows him just standing around doing nothing with his wife, and not making out in a jacuzzi tub with hott coeds such as Dorothy Davidson? Are you a loser, Nick Saban?

Of course you are. Here is the same photo before Dorothy Davidson made it so sexy!

Who is this lady, even?

Anyway: Remember when The Economist found that boring photo of Obama talking to some lady, and then applied the “airbrush” to make it seem as if Barack Obama was hate-fucking the oil spill instead? Everybody likes The Economist version much better.

There’s a moral here, somewhere. We’d drill down deep to find it for you but the Democrats won’t let us do that, go figure. [Birmingham News via Deadspin]

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facehead August 18, 2010 at 5:51 pm

If I had an Amero for every time I photoshopped myself with Nick Saban, I’d cruise around in my freedom blimp all day, pimpin it.

What up bitch?

SmutBoffin August 18, 2010 at 5:54 pm

I makes it look like she is wearing a yarmulke!

joementum August 18, 2010 at 6:07 pm

Mad ‘shop skilzzz

SayItWithWookies August 18, 2010 at 6:08 pm

I didn’t know Alabama even had an NFL team.

Baby who ate the Dingo August 18, 2010 at 6:09 pm

Obvious photoshop with the DEVIL:

He has a light shadow on his forehead; she has the Dark Shadow of Evil!

Barnabas Collins Lives!

Oh, wait, which picture was the photoshop?

Tommmcatt August 18, 2010 at 6:12 pm

I have no idea what you guys are taling about: The woman in both those photos is identical. That is an awfully big basset hound, though.

OCKerouac August 18, 2010 at 6:12 pm

Nick Saban has since contacted Dorothy Davidson to see if she could photoshop a picture of him with the Lombardi Trophy…

Accordion-o-rama August 18, 2010 at 6:15 pm

Sure is lucky she’s fat.

Tundra Grifter August 18, 2010 at 6:25 pm

The “update” story says her campaign manager told her the photo was of Coach Sabin and his mother.

That’s a cold, cold shot!

nappyduggs August 18, 2010 at 6:26 pm

That dimple just screams, “Hey, vanilla puddin. This here is an extra place, to stick your puddin’ pop.”

Shit, that’s terrible. She looks like at least 3 of my aunties.

Tundra Grifter August 18, 2010 at 6:27 pm

Dot had to go PhotoShop cause in the original she was wearing her Florida Gators hat.

slappypaddy August 18, 2010 at 6:38 pm

stalin’s apparatchiks did this same kind of photo manipulation crap so much better, and not a photoshop in sight. what a bunch of losers american politicians have become.

Gorillionaire August 18, 2010 at 6:44 pm

I would have added Bill Murray hitting the plunger on some dynamite in the background.

chascates August 18, 2010 at 7:02 pm

When it comes to football coaches you need someone smart enough to do the job and stupid enough to think it matters.

Joshua Norton August 18, 2010 at 7:02 pm

Gee. Maybe the fact that he’s blurry and she’s in focus should have tipped someone off a little sooner.

BlueStateLiberal August 18, 2010 at 7:06 pm

We should at least be proud someone in Alabama knows what Photoshop is and how to use it. In Alaska, I hear, all residents get free PCs and training from the federal government, as well as $50,000 in seed money to start lucrative Acacia online businesses.

V572625694 August 18, 2010 at 7:14 pm

[re=641411]chascates[/re]: Genius.

Autochthon August 18, 2010 at 7:31 pm

[re=641384]SayItWithWookies[/re]: I didn’t even know Alabama had Photoshop…

Toomush Infermashun August 18, 2010 at 8:06 pm

Needs moar blingee…

Joey Ratz August 18, 2010 at 8:31 pm

I can see dumb shit like this happening in Alabama, Florida (w/Urban Meyer) and Texas (w/Mack Brown). Perhaps

just pixels August 18, 2010 at 8:33 pm

I’ll bet that Photoshop thing could be used to paint Hitler mustaches on just about anyone. It would be so realistic no one would notice it’s not really Hitler. HA HA foolish people, it’s not really Hitler.

Joey Ratz August 18, 2010 at 8:33 pm

Fucking ‘submit’ button, how does it work?

So… Stupid shit like this could only happen in SEC country, Oklahoma and Texas (maybe in Nebraska back in the Tom Osborne days). But in the civilised world? Not so much.

Poisoned Rationality August 18, 2010 at 9:48 pm

Is it just me, or is MSNBC setting its hair on fire over “Mission Accomplished Again” and they totally jumped the gun, cuz there are still 6K combat troops there? Did Richard Engel sell them a shiny Cadillac story that is actually a Fiat? Speaking of fiats, who says when this fucking war is over anyway? When the snowbilly endorses an Iraqi candidate who promptly loses? WTF?

Maus August 18, 2010 at 9:55 pm

[re=641414]BlueStateLiberal[/re]: “We should at least be proud someone in Alabama knows what Photoshop is and how to use it. In Alaska, I hear, all residents get free PCs and training from the federal government, as well as $50,000 in seed money to start lucrative Acacia online businesses.”

Hahahha, I swear to god, the only people who bother me about EXCITING BUSINESS MLMs are kool-aid drinking post-highschoolers and conservative acquaintances I used to work with. Dude, your amazing plan of ending VIDEO in EMAILS might have impressed my grandmother back fifteen, twenty years ago.

Poisoned Rationality August 18, 2010 at 10:13 pm

[re=641443]Poisoned Rationality[/re]: Is this thing on? Anyone? Bueller? Eh, guess I’ll wait for The Daily Show and keep drinking – 3+ hours to go, woohoo!

SwanSwanH August 18, 2010 at 10:37 pm

Wayne Huizenga advises Dorothy Davidson to get a Plan B. (Charles Barkley?)

“I guess I have to say it. I’m endorsing Dorothy Davidson. … I don’t control what people say,” insisted Saban. “I don’t control what people put on dot-com or anything else. So I’m just telling you there’s no significance, in my opinion, about this, about me, about any interest that I have in anything other than supporting Dorothy Davidson.”

Words August 18, 2010 at 11:16 pm

[re=641411]chascates[/re]: In the South, it Always matters. Unfortunately for Ms. D., the Alabama people will be pissed that she took such liberties w/their football god, and will overwhelming vote for the other guy, even if he/she might be dead.

Yes, I live in a state where they don’t care if you can read or write, just whether you can tackle, pass, and deliver the touchdown at the crucial point.

Dashboard_Buddha August 19, 2010 at 12:06 am

Shoot…this is what loser guys do to their photos. Sad, really.

JMP August 19, 2010 at 12:06 am

The big question here is, who the fuck is Nick Saban? The only person that comes to mind from that name is Haim Saban, who had the genius idea of combining action scenes from shitty Japanese shows with new bits featuring shitty-but-hot American actors to create Power Rangers, but that guy was a big time Hillary supporter who doesn’t appear to be related.

Mr Blifil August 19, 2010 at 1:43 am

What’s even less plausible is the idea you would find an African-American woman anywhere near a golf course.

the wiz August 19, 2010 at 9:54 am

How could anybody, even in Alabama think this was a good idea and there would be no protest from this guy? Did they think, “Oh well, once he sees it he will love it, and we do look so adorable together.” Jackasses

The Zug August 19, 2010 at 11:16 am

Funny how the Bamaham News is all over this story, yet curiously silent regarding their own photo manipulation to make Nick “Napoleon” Saban look like less of a shrimp:

snideinplainsight August 19, 2010 at 11:25 am

We should have a contest to ‘shop her in with, like, everybody else who was ever famous.

Tundra Grifter August 19, 2010 at 11:30 am

[re=641416]V572625694[/re]: Actually, I think it’s Sen. Gene McCarthy.

Tundra Grifter August 19, 2010 at 11:30 am

[re=641704]snideinplainsight[/re]: Didn’t Woody Allen already make that movie?

PlanetWingnuta August 19, 2010 at 2:58 pm

[re=641459]Dashboard_Buddha[/re]: that photoshop is so bad i had a MIRC flashback. DCC anyone?

PlanetWingnuta August 19, 2010 at 2:59 pm

[re=641486]Mr Blifil[/re]: (contiuning the thought) where she’s not sweeping up the club house. (to these guys minds)

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