A bunch of retired professional football and basketball athletes have been running for office this year on the Republican ticket, to Take America Back and also reinforce the stereotype about jocks not being very bright. The aspiring-leader bunch includes “at least five” former NFL or NBA superheroes, Bloomberg News reports. Talk about tossing political footballs! LOL.
Among the candidates seeking office are former Philadelphia 76er and Dallas Maverick Shawn Bradley, who is running for a seat in the Utah legislature. He is 7’6″, so hopefully that seat is very large! ROTFLMAO. Bradley was born in Germany, but his light skin color suggests that nobody will ever demand a copy of his birth certificate. But where is his campaign website? Come on, man, it’s time to get serious about this.
Another aspiring politico is former Philadelphia Eagles tackle Jon Runyan, who’s vying for a Congressional seat in New Jersey and who actually does have a website. And a goatee, but only in some pictures. He went to the University of Michigan and the Wharton School, and is all about “business.”
Other ball-handling Republican candidates include ex-Portland Trail Blazer turned Oregon gubernatorial candidate Chris Dudley and ex-Cleveland Brown Keith Fimian, who’s running for Congress in Virginia. Former Washington Redskin Clint Didier, a Palin fave, ran for U.S. Senate but lost, and can now resume accepting socialistic farm subsidies until he runs for office again. [Bloomberg News/Seattle Times]
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Their dreams of higher office will be soundly crushed, much like those of Charles Barkely, he who aspired to be Governor of Alabama(why would anybody want to be that?.)
Curt Shilling? What lonely bar stool do you inhabit these days?
Do you guys have some sort of in-house competition going on today? You can tell us, promise we’ll keep it quiet.
Don’t forget Linda McMahon!
Just what we need… another candidate calling himself a Maverick.
Dudley’s campaign ads mostly involve his DIABEETUS and how he still played ball with his DIABEETUS. The Candidates – they’re just like us!
Mr. Emanuel wants to know if any of these pussies are missing fingers. Well? That’s what I thought.
What about the pride of the Wassailla Grilz roundball Sarah Barracuda?
Other ball-handling Republican candidates
BRB.
Don’t tread on my testicles!
But what about Brian Bosworth? THE BOZ ruelz! And caint spel.
And what is their position on vaginal laxity?
Seems ironic considering that a comprehensive study of jock related brain injuries was released this week.
I’m not surprised most wave the GOPer banner.
Right about now, Sarah Palin is thinking, “If I start wearing a jock strap, I will be the next president of the United States.”
There’s no “i” in “tea”.
They unfroze Dino Rossi from his carbonite prison late in the cycle and he still whipped Farmer Clint and his teabagger posse. Nobody here in WA takes any of this teaparty shit seriously. Single digits at best.
And Rossi, who has already lost two hard-fought and expensive Governor elections (*to a girl hahaha), is now taking on Patti Murray and her massively impressive war chest.
Sports stars way more electable in Washington State:
- Edgar Martinez
- Jay Buhner
- anyone else who was on the 95 Mariners except for Griffey.
Did anyone tell these guys there’s no signing bonus for elected office?
[re=641108]Troubledog[/re]:
Even Ball slapper A-Rod the Centaur?
[re=641108]Troubledog[/re]: Also excepting A-Rod “Alex” Rodriguez.
[re=641104]Extemporanus[/re]: None egos??? The baggers are borgs and resistance if futile?
The Dems should draft Michael Strahan to run against Jon Runyan. He sacked Donavan McNabb more than any other quarterback.
The GOP is playing a lousy game of catch-up. The Dems have already put Bo in the White House. And Bo Knows.
I’d vote for Clit Diddler.
[re=641108]Troubledog[/re]: Excellent analysis of Washington state politics. (I’d vote for Edgar.)
“Nobody here in WA takes any of this teaparty shit seriously.”
I really, really hope that’s true.
Also, my mom was like, “Dino Rossi ran TWICE against a girl and lost, so now he’s running against a different GIRL. Maybe he just doesn’t like girls.”
If Palin and Bachmann get on board, the annual GOP Shirts vs. Skins game will get a lot more attention this year.
What a lame article by Bloomberg — the writer teases with the “that’s no coincidence” line referring to all the jock Republicans, and then proceeds to run down the list of jocks as though there were no particular reason besides the fact that they had public lives. No link to the Fellowship of Christian Athletes and their intensive recruiting from college through the pros? It’s a big networking tool to build up connections, and they’ve finally expanded outside of the insurance industry, which used to be the pasture for ex-athletes who never got to the sportscaster level. Dubya proved that with cheerleading experience, an MBA, a firm belief in The LORD and heavily connected friends and relatives, even a complete moron can climb the political ladder, and they’ve been inspired by his example ever since. It’s a sick little QB-Jesus cult, which for some reason Bloomberg decides not to examine. Way to go, sissies.
A number of positions in football require intelligent players, who need to remember a large number of possible plays, figure out strategies and adapt to conditions on the field. Offensive lineman is not one of those positions.
[re=641095]Baby who ate the Dingo[/re]: Boz is busy waiting for that call from Hollywood green-lighting his “Stone Cold 2: Absolute Zero” script. Politics is beneath him.
[re=641112]ManchuCandidate[/re]: [re=641114]Come here a minute[/re]: Dontcha think if A-Rod would come back, all would be forgiven? On the surface anyway.
Seattle people are the most passive aggressive motherfuckers that ever wore Gore-Tex and drove hybrid SUVs. You could grab some random assclown out of a Starbucks and bitchslap him on the street and he’d be too embarrassed to file a complaint OMG how awkward.
But when he gets home, he’d go to that dark room in his basement and blog a million blogs about it under his pseudonym. Then he’d go back upstairs in time to get cuckolded by his wife and her lover.
I have lived here my whole life.
How about jockeys who are Republicans running for office? These tiny mites are pound-for-pound just as strong as their bigger brethren, but are just as adept at bad decision-making, and also tend to suffer from traumatic brain injuries.
[re=641126]SayItWithWookies[/re]: C’mon, man, Jesus is an awesome coach!
[re=641115]weejee[/re]: It may just be because I’m relatively sober, but I have no fucking idea what that means.
And for those who were or weren’t lucky enough to be here for that magical 1995 summer in Seattle, here’s the recap of the only feel-good Seattle sports story in the history of forever.
No thing will ever be as awesome as this ever again.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/1995_American_League_West_tie-breaker_game
[re=641080]Oblios Cap[/re]: Charles Barkley is an Alvin Greene with mad game skillz.
These Jock-Republicans will finally give this country the atomic wedgie it so desperately needs.
[re=641123]WarAndGee[/re]: So would “Hanging” Chad.
(Thanks for diddlin’ that Skittle so I didn’t have to.)
[Video totally rad but kinda NSFW!]
[re=641086]SmutBoffin[/re]:
Just like us – really? I like to smear excrement all over my naked body and sing the Campdown Races in a falsetto.
So I wonder which rep. is just like me?
[re=641126]SayItWithWookies[/re]: And there’s no mention of the fact that jocks tend to be assholes with massive egos, thanks to being treated as celebrities within their schools and then by the public at large, and routinely don’t have to do the actual work most students and are used to having any rule-breaking they’ve committed, including actual violent crimes, covered up by the people in charge. No wonder they’re Republicans.
It was just pointed out to me that Steve Largent should also be on that list of dudes that could get elected as a GOP senator in Washington. I agree. He’s even got some alleged tech nerd cred that would help him out up here.
Cept of course, he’s already had his turn fucking up Oklahoma, holding the dubious title of “Successor To Jim Inhofe” and coming to power during the Gingrich Coup in 94. Resigned to run for Governor and got cockblocked. Literally.
There’s some truth to the fact that his loss was due to vote-splitting by a popular Independent candidate, and a huge Get Out The Vote push by cockfighting supporters. You can’t make this shit up. But now that he’s stopped all the babies from being killed (“Mission Accomplished! on that one”), he’s apparently a tech exec.
Still, though, he is Seattle royalty and very good looking. Both of which can get you far up here.
[re=641133]Extemporanus[/re]: I capitalized yer lower case “no i in ‘tea’.” No I in tea, no self in teabagging.
[re=641174]PuffAdder[/re]: Vitter probably would be into that, if there was a whore there that looked just like his wife…
[re=641202]Sparky McGruff[/re]: should have added this link…
[re=641197]weejee[/re]: Ohhh, so what yer sayin’ is “the color teal is totally gay.”
Got it!
[re=641125]user-of-owls[/re]: They can run the old Hookworm and Ladder play.
?donde es macaca? oh wait, he wasn’t a jock, just a jocksniffer.
I realize we don’t hold sports stars to be great minds, but how dumb do you have to be to not know what team you play for? Clint Didier’s page in the WA voters’ guide says he played for the non-existent “Washington State Redskins”:
http://wei.secstate.wa.gov/spokane/Pages/onlineVotersGuide.aspx#ososTop
but first we need more data on their pickup trucks in order to make an informed decision…
[re=641236]Accordion-o-rama[/re]: It’s a good way to ingratiate himself with the people of Washington State, by insulting their intelligence thinking they’d fall for that.
Isn’t Dudley the worst free throw shooter in NBA history?
Jon Runyan seems to have a lot of schooling even if “At Michigan, Jon studied Kinesiology”, whatever the fuck that is. Its not clear he has had a job other than ‘dumb jock’, but the tea partiers are wetting themselves for him.
[re=641131]Troubledog[/re]: HAHAHAA! Good one. It’s funny cuz it’s true!
“I have lived here my whole life.”
Me too.
“ball-handling Republiklans”
LOL!
[re=641140]Troubledog[/re]: Funny, being from sunny Orange County I recall that event 100% differently…
This Republican leaning tendency of retired athletes is no doubt due to repetitive head blows turning their brains to cranial pudding.
[re=641277]An Outhouse[/re]: Is phony major. Runyan learn nothing. Nothing!
Oh c’mon, in addition to diabeetus, Chris Dudley wants us to know he was the unionest union member to ever unite against the man for proletariat rights.
And tax cuts. Don’t forget about the tax cuts. Cause despite a decade to the contrary, tax cuts = jobs. Like in bizarro world.
Shawn Bradley played for the German National basketball team, so he isn’t a real American.
[re=641101]WhatTheHeck[/re]: if she wears it on her head and it’s levi’s , maybe ….
[re=641176]JMP[/re]: and of the christian fellowship …
“Perfect pouch fit”???? —- I’m speechless.
When Brett Favre gets elected president, he’ll send a spokesman to the inauguration in January to tell us he refuses to take office until he has a couple of extra months of rest and we give him an extra $3 million.
Bill Bradley ought to disown this Shawn Bradley.
Well finally some good news for the Repubs. They have managed to Piss-Off the Independents, the Elderly, Middle and Lower Class, Women, Blacks, Hispanics, Gays, Muslims, Jews and the entire North Eastern United States, but they have salvaged their pride with endorsement of old white ex-jocks. This calls for another round of Mad Dog 20/20, Rubbing Alcohol or the beverage of your choice. Hee Haw.
Jukesgrrl, I believe Brett Favre would be awesome as President. It obviously just takes a face for the job. And his is awesome!
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