Dipshit Magoo returns! And this time he is mumbling on about his worst nightmare: Barack Obama will order a CIA coup d’état to depose himself and then the United Fruit Company will take all of our precious bananas! Fred’s second-worst nightmare is that someone might sew his anus shut while he is sleeping. [Twitter]
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Hooray! 50% off tops and shirts for every American!
This man should be president – of The Gap, Inc.
Good ol’ Fred — making Milton Berle seem funny and original since 1994.
This country is bananas, B-A-N-A-N-A-S!
Sorry pal but those bananas are for greedy first world imperialists. Your best hope for fresh fruit is to get a gig as coolie in Belgium or someplace. You might get a mangos for a tip.
Fred Thompson??? I thought he was dead. Or just really out of it. But he is keeping his eye on the bananas! Geeze, is this what we can look forward to in our declining years?
Shorter Fred Thompson: ♪♫ “Yes, we have no bananas…” ♫♪
Fred likes his bananas mashed up into a bowl.
Hmm! I remember having the same exact thought as Fred Thompson!!! Except mine occurred about six-seven years ago, when the Kid Emperor was in charge, enacting the policies that have crippled this nation for the medium-term! Strange that he would have this thought years after me, when the new President that is attempting to salvage what he can from the utter mangled clusterfuck of a country is in office!
Good God I hate these people. It’s like having an ex who made your life miserable constantly send you emails telling you how much worse you are now that you’ve left them, if that ex also gave you AIDS.
I wonder how Fred would look in a pair of those fancy British kevlar panties.
NOT the Banana Republic! Their clothes do not fit me…
I thought St. Ronnie turned us into a third world country. I guess after Dear Leader Shrub, however, a third world country would be a step up.
That photo looks like he’s trying to mimic fellating a long banana-shaped object.
tricks with fruit are kind of cute, but that’s no way to keep his asshole clean.
And let us retain some hammocks to house these precious, precious bananas!
I don’t think ol’ Undead Fred has to worry about coming up short in the “bananas” department.
Do these free market, deregulatin’ ghouls take any responsibility for the state of the nation? No. They just hurl feces like monkeys after a banana jag.
Ideas or get the fuck out.
What prompts this sort of stuff? Between talk radio appearances they must tell their staffers ‘Hey, it’s been a while, let’s type some random shit bashin’ that Obamr fella.
And BRAN…don’t forget the BRAN…if that No-bama is gonna do something with the fruit or…where’s my coffee? Who changed the channel? My shows are on! But I mean seriously if he’s gonna take our bananas, he should let us keep some of them, and the bran too. No-bama should not take our bran.
Lay off us olds, kids. Bananas are a delicious treat that you enjoy without bothering to put in your teeth.
Fred’s second-worst nightmare is that someone might sew his anus shut while he is sleeping.
I’m not sure why; it’s clear that he has his mouth doing double-duty. (Well, okay, his Twitter-mouth. Which I guess is his thumbs?) (Also, hehehe, duty.)
“If we’re gonna to be a banana republic, then at least let us keep some of our bananas!”
I’ve read this sentence several times and I still can’t figure out what it means.
Fred should get out of the Mega Weenie Hut with Newt. I don’t think the tensile load calculations for gross weight was set “Blue Whale.”
Yes, Fred, it’s terrible that returning tax rates on the rich to Reagan-era levels will turn the U.S. into Burkina Faso faster than you can say “Ouagadougou.”
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_countries_by_GDP_(PPP)_per_capita
We must not allow a banana gap!
Lemme check my factoidz:
Grand Ol’ Pimps hate black people
Black people look like monkies
Monkies eat bananas
O’Bama (not McBama, that’s Auburn U) is black, hence a monkey
Fred shoves bananas up his ass, squirts it out, and calls it “policy.”
[re=641046]Panquake[/re]: [re=641065]Cape Clod[/re]: Dipshit Magoo is just parroting the line from the criticism of Generalissimo Dubya, because somebody probably told him it was bad, while changing his diaper. He has no idea what it means, since he slept through the entire Bush administration.
Fred, Fred, Fred. We will officially become a 3rd world state only when president-for-life, Obama dresses in olive-green fatigues and smokes Cohiba cigars.
Fred, you need to have someone tally your bananas. You’re a banana short of a bunch
Let our bananas go!
On the bright side, when we become a third world country we’ll qualify for tons of U.S. aid.
[re=641065]Cape Clod[/re]: I don’t know, but I used to love the old Banana Republic stores…
[re=641054]CapnFatback[/re]: ♪♫ “Swiiinggg lowww, Capn’ Waaaffleback…” ♫♪
What the hell is #ftrs? Does he mean fritters? Cause banana fritters are really good, especially with powdered sugar dusted on them. My mom used to make them. Now I’m hungry and it’s all his fault.
[re=641041]Extemporanus[/re]: Man, Bananarama is getting awfully desperate to fill out their ranks for that Reunion Tour. I suppose if they just give Fred a tambourine nobody will get hurt.
[re=641068]Baby who ate the Dingo[/re]: In either Fred’s or Nude’s case, it should be “blew a whale”
Fred Thompson needs his lithium, I think you mean
[re=641089]Johnny Zhivago[/re]: Why wait? Let’s just declar war on ourselves, surrender, and then rebuild the economy with U.S. aid. I hear the Grand Duchy of Fenwick tried it once …
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0053084/plotsummary
[re=641065]Cape Clod[/re]: That’s because you haven’t seen the new 1040′s. Guess how we’re gonna be paying our taxes next year. On the positive side, if you don’t owe anything that huge bunch of rebate bananas will be awesome!
That Obamar steals everthang what ain’t nail’d down! God this man is a shithead.
“You kids get out of my banana plantation!” just doesn’t sound crotchety enough.
So the US is going to collapse into a civil war between two factions, each supplied by one of the world’s two superpowers fighting each other by proxy, neither of which gives a shit about our welfare? Cool.
I get Fred’s logic. Banana republics often had brown presidents and our president is brown so soon we’ll be a banana republic. Hoever, Fred, I first started referring to Banana Republicans like you after the Supreme Court coup installed the chimp in chief. As for the long slide toward third world status, Reagan started that.
But this got me thinking about bananas and politics. Specifically how the United Fruit Company/CIA set up and knocked down all those banana republics based on the theory that democracy could interfere with business. That’s still the basic philosophy of the GOP.
Watch for Fred to play the chimpanzee dictator on “Law and Order: Mogadishu” Shooting in Somalia will save even more than in LA — and when they shoot in Somalia, it’s to kill!
[re=641065]Cape Clod[/re]:
I picture a crotchety old man with a banana clenched in his wrinkled old hand, waiving the banana above his head and shouting at President Obama, “From my cold dead hands, you muzlin, commie bastard!!!”
I hate reading about Fred Thompson and his utter dipshit-ness. I really like the Hunt for Red October, and every time Fred comes on I get all pissed off and turn it off. DAMN YOU ACTOR-MAN. stop speaking up. You are also ruining my law and order reruns.
Somebody put Fred’s fears to rest and tell him that taxes will only go up for rich WORKING people.
[re=641097]Extemporanus[/re]: ♪♫ Oh, you take the high road,and I’ll take the low road, and I’ll get to the Third World before ye! ♫♪
They take all the nananas ‘n all we are left with is uncircumcised black muslinpenis for Mrs. Thompson.
Waht United Fruit Company did to Central America is what the GOP wants to do to the USA. It’ll be even more of a Capitalist Paradise!
[re=641100]ella[/re]: I’m pretty sure “#ftrs” is short for “Fred Thompson’s Retarded Shit”.
Wait a minute. Costa Rica has nationalized health care. Being a banana republic doesn’t sound so bad.
Douchebag says what?what?
¡PLATANOS NO!
[re=641195]CapnFatback[/re]: The low road appears to be on the way up.
[re=641103]user-of-owls[/re]: I replied awhile ago to this, but judging by its absence (and that of a couple others), I’ve apparently been banned from commenting freely on this post.
I guess that makes me a racist.
(And after all I talked you up, too, Riley…*sniff*)
This is the kind of deep, nuanced, carefully crafted message we could have been getting from President Fred Thompson if the Repubican voters had had the wisdom to nominate him back in 2008.
Clearly this means Pinochet/Palin 2012, right Fred?
Guess them Olds better plan on gittin’ bananas ‘steada cash outa that ree-verse morgidge deal I heered about.
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