puppies of state

North Korea Ramps Up Its Social Media Presence


North Korea is so in touch with the times that it is now your Twitter and YouTube friend! State media outlet Uriminzokkiri will provide you fun and interesting tweets about North Korea news here and informative news video here. We are not exactly sure what news is going on in the news segment above, as we do not read Korean, we just speak it. But obviously our CNNs and MSNBCs and Fox Newses have a lot to learn about making news entertaining, as we are utterly transfixed by this.

Unfortunately:

the North Korean government is hardly opening up with its new online presence, as the content posted on these accounts is pure propaganda and interaction with other users is currently nonexistent.

But in a way, that just makes it more enjoyable. We don’t want to know what’s going on.

Soon, North Korea will enter into the unholy “Weird YouTube Video Axis of Evil.” And the world and its keyboard cats will bask in greatness.

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Party time!

Look, further important animal news:

But don’t try to mash-up any of these. You’ll get nuked. [Mashable]

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Jack Stuef is your loyal editor and a freelance satirist or something like that. He is a contributing writer for The Onion. E-mail him or whatever.

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79 comments

  1. just pixels

    Sarah Palin and North Korea, together at last on Twitter. They are MFEO. Both are northerners, both are kinda crazy.

  2. SmutBoffin

    I can read Korean!* It says: “These cheerful pups…masters of the Science of Marxism and Dear Leader Il’s favored concubines…relax after many long hours..combatting imperialism and the Southern Traitors”

    *May not be true.

  3. Lionel Hutz Esq.

    the North Korean government is hardly opening up with its new online presence, as the content posted on these accounts is pure propaganda and interaction with other users is currently nonexistent.

    Sounds like my Facebook page.

  4. Gratuitous World

    if it doesn’t involve intricately choreographed prison inmate dancing, I’m not interested.

  5. SmutBoffin

    That “farms and buildings” clip is actually from an award-winning sitcom. Think 3 1/2 Men, but with mass executions and much, much funnier.

  6. WadISay

    Oh, individually, these vids are nonsense, but put them together, you get:

    1. Hot dog!
    2. Let’s go to town, and
    3. Get some ass.

  7. bfstevie

    The first one is similar to the old Twilight Zone episode, “To Serve Man”.

    For the love of God, stop them! It’s a video takeout menu!

  8. CthuNHu

    I am intrigued by the second video. Are these playable levels, or just a look-and-feel demo?

    Also, I’ve heard that trying to level up from level one, or doing much of anything besides roleplaying a rice farmer, triggers a bug that teleports you to the end-game boss’s antechamber with like thirty high-level guards with chain guns, and when you die, you crash to a blue screen. True?

  9. CthuNHu

    I am intrigued by the second video. Are these playable levels, or just a look-and-feel demo?

    Also, I’ve heard that trying to level up from level one, or doing much of anything besides roleplaying a rice farmer, triggers a bug that teleports you to the end-game boss’s antechamber with like thirty high-level guards with chain guns, and when you die, you crash to a blue screen.

  10. DemmeFatale

    What are those two adorable black and tan Cavaliers doing in that North Korean kennel/zoo/prison place?

  11. plowman

    It’s clear the North Koreans are developing on some very advanced and formidable donkeys. While doing all this vacationing and socializing healthcare Obama has allowed a dangerous donkey-gap to develop!

  12. steverino247

    Woof! It’s what’s for dinner!

    In case you’re wondering, the song playing on the middle video is “Oh! How I Love My Little Red Tractor” which is currently Number One with a bullet (to the base of the skull) on the DPRK’s Hot 100.

  13. Rotundo

    It’s either beloved leaders pets, or a promise to deliver two dogs in every pot. No kimchi in the video so I’m betting on the former. They’re probably the only two creatures of their kind in that poor dank place.

  14. weejee

    Il Jung’s twatting confirms the ancient Korean saw:
    더 많은 돼지들보다가 돼지가 있습니다

  15. Mad Brahms

    [re=640669]SmutBoffin[/re]: It’s not very hard to think much funnier, even with the mass graves.

    [re=640676]CthuNHu[/re]: New E3 footage from “Tom Clancy Presents Tom Clancy’s Splinter Cell 6: Korean Meltdown, Written By Tom Clancy”

  16. ManchuCandidate

    If I read my Korean correctly:

    1) “Last Two Dogs left in glorious motherland of North Korea.”
    2) the 2nd vid is a NK Chamber of Commerce Video proclaiming that NK is open for bidniz
    3) US Americans in their native habitat

  17. chascates

    They’ve been dicks almost 60 years. I say we try some friendliness, say, let North Korea sell us kimchi with opium. I’d certainly pay for it.

  18. weejee

    [re=640699]chascates[/re]: Summer kimchi can sometimes be a bit, how shall we say, rough. Winter kimchi is a gift from the gods.

  19. peeno nwar

    Translation: “WESTERN DEVILS, IF YOU BOMB THE SHIT OUT OF US, YOU WILL KILL THESE NICE DOGGIES. BE WARNED. WE ALSO HAVE PONIES AND… DONKEYS. LET’S CALL THEM DONKEYS. THEY ARE CUTE, RIGHT? THEY WILL DIE!!!”

  20. facehead

    OBVIOUSLY the top video is the North Korean version of Taiwanese CGI-Scandal-Simulation (sans CGI). I’m pretty sure this is the one is about the capitalist Tiger Woods.

  21. ZombieRichardFeynman

    [re=640701]weejee[/re]: Yes, winter kimchi really hits the spot. I think it’s the little crabs and suchlike that the kids grab from the ricefields as they’re drained. Also an extra month in the jar never hurt anything.

  22. JMP

    The message is, “Look at these two cute little dogs! See how cute they are, and how we cut away from them fucking when they’re about to start, so it’s still cute? How cute! Now see the horribly inhumane tiny little cell we keep them imprisoned in? If we’re willing to do that to two cute innocent animals, image what we’ll do to not-so-cute humans who piss us off.”

  23. stew

    Ding Dong the Bitch Is Dead (well professionally and ethically…and her skin looks terrible). Dr. Laura runs screaming from radio career.

  24. Dashboard_Buddha

    I was all “Awwww…cute dogs!” at first ’til I realized that these two dogs were better fed than your standard NK village.

  25. Sharkey

    1) K. J. Disn-Il’s “Lady and the Tramp”.
    2) I want a dystopian present, not future, so sign me up!
    3) Their mastry of Photoshop knows no bounds.

  26. Sharkey

    [re=640707]peeno nwar[/re]: “WE HAVE VALUABLE AGRICULTURAL AND MANUFACTURED GOODS THAT WILL DIE IF YOU PULL AN IRAQ ON US!”

  27. the problem child

    Dogs look well groomed/ well fed, but hot. Get them out of the sun or you will have to cook them immediately.

  28. the problem child

    Ken, should we expect W/W liveblog ACTION tonight? Or have you been “working” hard enough?

  29. plowman

    We’re missing the real action here: N.Korea is paying Disney to feature these Korean Spaniels in it’s next movie, the market for these dogs will be insatiable thus giving Kim enough foreign reserves to afford all the Harleys, Glenfiddich, Hungarian whores and dialysis he can dream of…

  30. hopebong

    Wow, Kim Jong-il dumped his pets to zoo. Really. He’s not only a nuke-wielding mass murderer, he’s a horrible man.

    The caption says: These animals are gifts from Greater Leader Comrade Kim Jong-il, given to Central Zoo in the Juche Year 97 (2008).

  31. the problem child

    [re=640753]hopebong[/re]: Well that makes him a class-A asshole. Amazing they’re still alive. Or are they?

  32. user-of-owls

    Dear Dear Leader,
    You had to go with the dogs, didn’t you? As a big-nose who married into the tribe, I am vicariously shaking my head. This is what happens when you put your foreign-targeted PR in the hands of people kidnapped from South Korean and Japanese beaches…30 years ago. Mad Leader, definitely; Mad Men, definitely not.
    User Of Bu-ang-i

    p.s. For the benefit of ye multitudes picking the low hanging canines: No. Dog does not taste like chicken. It tastes like dog. And, bo-shin-tang is wildly more fatty than one might expect. And, Koreans would never have begun eating dog unless they had previously invented soju.

    p.p.s. Only after I wrote the p.s. did I realize that dog soup, aka ‘BO-shin-tang’, might have rather unpleasant connotations in Obama’s White House.

  33. meetlove112

    I support interracial relationships! I believe love has no color!

    —- i nterracial l oving * C o m —-

    This club is for those of us that don’t discriminate! This is to all my people who don’t care about somebody’s ethnic background, just how they are on the inside.

    If you want to find an sincere interracial relationship. If you are serious. Come and join us!
    `
    ╭⌒╭⌒╮╭⌒╮~╭⌒╮
    ,)))),”)~~ ,”~)
    ╱◥█◣ ╱◥█◣
    |田|田||田|田|
    ╬╬╬╬╬╬╬╬╬╬╬╬╬╬

  34. meetlove112

    Whyyyyyyyyyy so many people are interested in an interracial relationship. black woman want to have fun with white man and black guys want to have fun with white women. There are many sites focusing on this kind of relationships such as ==== i_n_t_e_r_r_a_c_i_a_l_l_o_v_i_n_g/ c_o_m ===== recommend it here ==== i_n_t_e_r_r_a_c_i_a_l_l_o_v_i_n_g/c_o_m == ;)

  35. user-of-owls

    Hey gang! How much would YOU be willing to contribute to the “Send Free Interracial Business Relationships To Pyongyang” fund?! I would happily skip a few mortgage payments. Does it to you?

  36. weejee

    Why-oming:
    US Congress: 1st term incumbent Repubtard Cynthia Lummis stomped some Caspar artiste and will face D’rat neophyte and pinko think tanker David Wendt – huzzah.
    Gubonator: Twenty-two teen Repubicans are going after each others throats to run against Mike Massie who squeaked-out his unopposed Democrat primary.

    Warshington
    US Senate: This is a bit different in that it is a bedsheet ballot with the top two from the primary of all candidates go on to the main event. Party don’t mean shit. Anyway in the first posting Patty Murray has 43.2%, Dinosaur Rossi has 37.4%, and Palin-anointed Clint Didier has just 11.1%. That’s about 197K votes counted.

  37. Potater

    [re=640762]Tilkaratansomy[/re]: [re=640764]meetlove112[/re]: [re=640765]meetlove112[/re]: Poopyheads.

    I believe the Korean text in the first video reads: ALL GLORY TO THE HYPNO PUPS. HYPNO PUPS BRING YOU VERY HAPPY FEELING IN YOUR RICE-STITCHED PANTS.

  38. weejee

    Follow-up to the Warshington post:
    Not sure geographically where the State’s initial ballot dump came from, but as yet there are none results in my home district, the 7th, which is represented by Communist Congressperson for life Baghdad Jim McDermott – former chair of the ADA (if you know who the ADA are off the top of your head you are likely an olde or maybe need to get a life).

  39. Sarjo

    I am a onetime student of Korean.
    The text is from a popular book called “How to Serve Your Dog.”
    IT’S A RECIPE BOOK, SHEEPLE!!!!

  40. weejee

    Why-oming: Looks like it will be next month before the figure the Repubtard candidate for Gov., but there is a hell of battle on for Dog Catcher in Laramie. Must be because of that new Korean restaurant that opened.

    Warshington
    US Senate: More recent posting: Patty Murray has 43.7%, Dinosaur Rossi has 37.5%, and Palin-anointed Clint Didier has just 10.6%. That’s about 245K votes counted (still nothing in C’Addle’s Congressional…do ya think Obamar stole the ballots when he wuz in town today?)

  41. Jack Stuef

    [re=640751]the problem child[/re]: KEN IS DEAD. Or on vacation again. Something like that. Yeah, no liveblogging tonight.

    Also, I’m enjoying this interracial-dating spam. I’LL ALLOW IT.

  42. weejee

    Soviet of Washington
    US Senate: More recent posting with maybe some C’Addle since the 7th Congressional finally showed some numbers: Patty Murray has 48.9%, Dinosaur Rossi has 33.4%, and Palin-anointed Clint Didier has just 9.8%. That’s about 588K votes counted.

    US Congress:
    * = incumbent
    1st: Jay Inslee*(D) 57.2, James Watkins(R) 27.0%
    2nd: Rick Larson* (D) 45.1, John Koster (R) 40.5%
    3rd: Denny Heck (D) 29.9%, Jamie Herrera (R) 29.7 – open seat
    4th: Doc Hastings*(douchebag R) 60.0%, Jay Clough (D) 22.0%
    5th: Cathy Rodgers* (R) 70.2, three Ds under 10% and one Constitution Party
    6th: Norm Dicks* (D) 57.8%, Doug Cloud (R) 28.2%
    7th: Jim McDermott(D) 78.9%, rest don’t matter, he’s Congressperson for life
    8th: Dave Reichert* (R) 47.8%, Suzane DelBene (one of 4 Ds) 26.5%
    9th: Adam Smith* (D) 53.0%, Dick Muri (one of two Rs) 25.1%

  43. imissopus

    [re=640783]Jack Stuef[/re]: Being an internet comedy blogger not making you as much of a babe magnet as you thought it would when you took the job, eh Jack? Should have put a rider in your contract when you signed on: I WILL BE PAID IN OPEN-MINDED CO-EDS WITH MORALLY CASUAL ATTITUDES AND TAUT HIP FLEXORS.

  44. lulzmonger

    [re=640689]weejee[/re]:

    “the ancient Korean saw:”

    “There is a more pig cross-beam polyvalent pig”?
    Is it perchance wearing lipstick?

  45. Geogre

    Well, the first looks like an homage to Dear Leader’s dead dog (b. 1998), and both dogs were fairly fat, so no doubt the entire nation was supposed to mourn the loss of this valiant and honorable pet. What got me was the camera angle. Whoever shot the video was not much taller than the dogs. I think the wrong ones have been eating the Kennelration.

    The last one cracked me up for the Ed Wood use of stock footage. Hollywood films of English fox hunting, but cut away before showing the white devil faces! Then show the native “donkey” that you have to invent. “These asses evolved here on a diet of shared rice and dedication to destroying enemy invaders.”

  46. Geogre

    [re=640753]hopebong[/re]: Yeah, Kim Jong Il, he dead.

    I don’t think Dear Leader gave his dogs to the zoo back then. I think they go now, ’cause Mistah Kurtz, he immortal.

  47. Dashboard_Buddha

    [re=640758]user-of-owls[/re]: thanks for clarifying that…at first I thought Bo’s shin was nicely piquant.

  48. Oblios Cap

    [re=640816]lulzmonger[/re]:

    I got: More than the pigs, there are pigs.

    I guess it means that some pigs are more equal than others?

    Or some pigs have better bacon. I’m so confusious-ed!

  49. Chernobyl Soup

    You know it’s a PR fail when even Steve Inskeep is snarking at you on NPR as he was this morning.

  50. weejee

    [re=640816]lulzmonger[/re]: Close [re=640840]Oblios Cap[/re]: Closer
    There are more pig fuckers than there are pigs

  51. Ducksworthy

    [re=640701]weejee[/re]: Winter Kim Chee, Yaki Mandu with labrador retriever puppy, home made makolli.

  52. smitallica

    I am not a warmonger by nature. But I would seriously like to bomb the living shit out of that stupid, backward, ridiculous shithole/cult masquerading as a country. Just to watch their empty concrete buildings fall down.

    And the dog/donkey thing just made it worse.

  53. Sharkey

    [re=640753]hopebong[/re]: Wow, dogs in a zoo. Who goes to a zoo to see dogs? Do they have a cockroach exhibit too?

Comments are closed.