Here is a scan from the Seattle Times from, uh, sometime after Ted Stevens died in a plane crash, we guess, sent to us by a tipster known only as “foog,” who may or may not be the person who runs this blog full of funny headlines. It is one of those things where you have to decide if the copy editor on the desk that night was making a grim joke or was just tired and bored and came up with some stock phrase and then didn’t stop to think about its implications. Are you laughing at it? Then you are a monster, a terrible monstrous monster.
But you are not as bad a monster as Wonkette alum/“hot dog reporter” Juli Weiner, who dared to ask if it isn’t going to feel a bit awkward to fly into an airport named after a guy who just died in a plane crash. Craig Medred of the Alaska Dispatch knows that this is just another example of the lamestream media picking on poor Alaska. Why you gotta hate, Juli? You used to be so sweet and innocent, back before you got caught up in the New York media machine. Sarah Palin will refudiate you! She used to hate Ted Stevens’ guts, but she loves him now that he’s dead. [Criggo/VF/Alaska Dispatch/HuffPo]
{ 62 comments }
That headline makes me feel awful — I can’t believe it’s been almost a week and I didn’t think of that.
The Seattle Times must apologize; Stevens’ imprint was left in his native Alaska, which is it’s own entity and not part of the Northwest. Please, try and be more accurate.
“But you are not as bad a monster as Wonkette alum/“hot dog reporter” Juli Weiner, who dared to ask if it isn’t going to feel a bit awkward to fly into an airport named after a guy who just died in a plane crash.”
Shoot, I still look overhead for falling helicopter debris everytime I put ketchup on my french fries.
Hey, you hear about the plane that crashed in a cemetary in Poland? They were digging up bodies for 6 months.
(rim-shot)
Make some lemonade out of this Alaskans. Bronze that imprint, declare it a national monument then charge people for parking when they come to see it. Hopefully it won’t get clogged with trash like Old Faithful.
Oooh, that’s gonna leave a mark…
This is just plane awful, Wonkeet.
It will take a 15 square mile forest fire to cremate the unfortunate Stevens.
Have some pity.
The Alaska Dispatch writer seems just a bit thin skinned and paranoid. Apparently, by comparing the pilot to Chuck Yeager, the Wall Street Journal was not doing what any rational person would think and complimenting him, but calling reckless. And the media hates Alaska by pointing out the Exxon Valdez oil is still around. Considering how defensive Palin gets about that shitty state, I’m wondering if all Alaskans are like that.
Oh, and then there’s his statement, “hot dog reporter Juli Wiener is of the belief “like many others,” whom she does not name” – the writer seems to know about hyperlinks since they’re in his article; he should recognize one in someone else’s post.
I had forgotten how Juli’s gotten stuck with mostly trolls for commenters.
“Palin To Fill Hole Left By Stevens Absence”?
hello? is this thing on?
I have to confess that we actually bribed the copy editor to print this headline. It’s actually a bit of viral marketing for our new band, “Dead Ted and the Northwest Imprints.” Check out our eponymous album featuring the hit singles, The Internet Is Not A Big Truck and I Love Big Ruts (Remix).
[re=640078]JMP[/re]: Except that Alaska is North and West of Seattle.
What is “Alaska?”
[re=640083]Ruhe[/re]: There are already plans for a mosque next door.
I also love dead Ted. Well, just the fact that he’s dead really. Come to think of it, that applies to a lot of other people, too.
[re=640105]edgydrifter[/re]: You know who ELSE is dead?
[re=640086]actor212[/re]: [re=640092]WhatTheHeck[/re]: Seriously, it flies in the face of all that is wholly. Say what you will about him, but he always worked for the crater good of his state.
Wow, Craig Medred, did someone forget to feed you your Meow Mix this morning?
[re=640103]Baby who ate the Dingo[/re]: There used to be this filler content on PBS in Alaska called “Alaska Is…”, and it would play some classical music while going through a series of nature photographs, Ken Burns style. Of course Palin has totally fucked the search results for “Alaska is”, so I can’t link you a clip. Damn her.
Excuse me, as an Alaskan Democrat who didn’t vote for Stevens but holds enormous respect for him for all his dedication to the state (indictment aside, you people should research his work before you judge him as evil), and as someone who is embarrassed of Sarah Palin and is glad she’s no longer governor, you people should be ashamed of yourselves. How dare you be happy for anyone’s death. You should be so lucky to have a senator who helped so much of your state like ours did. And Alaska IS part of the northwest; we ARE part of the United States, and I for one am damn proud and happy about that. I don’t think any of you know just how much a role Alaska plays in the US economy. “Shitty state”? We have the best economy in the nation and have more opportunities going for us as such a young state than most states combined. I dare you to find the courage to come up here and start a new and successful life like all of our great pioneers did, including the Begiches, Egans and Stevens himself. Do your research before you fling insults about a place you know nothing about. We’re all part of the same country, whether you know it or not. Please show respect.
[re=640113]AKpoli[/re]:
Please show respect.
No.
I’ve lived in your “great state”. The money could have been better spent where people actually live.
[re=640113]AKpoli[/re]: Why, Craig Medred found our little ol’ political satire blog.
And last I heard, Alaska was one of those states that takes in more in federal taxes than it pays out. Which means the rest of us are subsidizing your awesome ability to live in near-total darkness eleven months out of the year. So, you know, STFU.
[re=640113]AKpoli[/re]: How did you even find this site? Really, how?
Given the fact that the Wiley Post-Will Rogers Memorial Airport in Barrow, Alaska, was named after two guys who died in a plane crash, Ted Stevens was just plain asking for it when he slapped his name on an Alaskan airport.
[re=640094]JMP[/re]: Prespikely so! Don’t be hanging Teddy on the realz Warshington and Origunz. But it is the Timez, repubtard rag, so no surprise.
[re=640113]AKpoli[/re]: Alaskan David Denby?
(Like the original Denby, but on a snowmachine)
[re=640113]AKpoli[/re]: You “young states” need to learn your place and SPEAK WHEN YOU’RE SPOKEN TOO. Now eat your brocolli and go straight to bed.
[re=640113]AKpoli[/re]: Accept our apologies. And some crystal meth- the traditional Alaskan treat (after whale testicles, I mean).
I think Stevens’ impact on the great state of Alaska will be felt for some time.
Dear AKpoli:
I am sorry that Ted Stevens died. This not the website for sympathy.
I knew “King Ted” from his many flights with my old company, Alaska Airlines. He was always a gentleman. I rode a couple of times with him on the “milk runs” in the great interior, and he would chat with just about any hillbilly about anything. Even the most jaded dingo from Kotzebue would light up around him, and his idea of public political talk centered frequently about how great America is/was. He was an old time politician in the Byrd mold who knew that all politics was local, and all things local need federal money, because you don’t have to pay for it, you just get it. Wasn’t a right/left thing; you got what you could, and made do. And he loved the little planes that landed on water, like the one I had in my bathtub when I was a wee lad. I hated them; thermals gave me the hurls. To King Ted, that was the best part.
That said, come visit this sight in a few weeks/months when the edge is gone.
[re=640092]WhatTheHeck[/re]:
Why such a large fire? Is that how you make baked Alaskan?
Every time I fly into Reagan, I’m afraid I’m gonna catch teh Alzheimer’s.
I am not afraid of crashing, my secret is . . . just before we hit the ground, I jump as high as I can.
— Bill Cosby
[re=640104]SayItWithWookies[/re]: I’d think the Alaskans have a genuine reason to fear Islam. The winters are, you know, Arctic, and nine months of cold and darkness with no porn, no beer or whiskey, and no weed would definitely make Jack a very dull boy.
[re=640113]AKpoli[/re]: You just made the “comment to nowhere.”
[re=640079]Manos: Hands of Fate[/re]: A bit obscure, but I love it.
Well, Ted’s in good company with an airport tie-in. Apparently, there’s a Buddy Holly statue outside of the Lubbuck Airport. Of course, I’m depending on a Dixie Chix lyric for that information, so I may be wrong. And not having an American Experience, in light of the fatwa issued against the Chix for criticizing our former fearless leader.
Will Rogers WORLD Airport in Oklahoma City, thank you very much. Flying in and out of a WORLD airport named after a guy who died in a plane crash is part of the American Experience (TM).
If the black boxes survive air crashes — why don’t they make the whole plane out of that stuff?
— George Carlin
[re=640143]Johnny Zhivago[/re]: Hah! Winzo!
Also, you gave our band (see http://wonkette.com/417491/seattle-times-defiles-memory-of-ted-stevens-sarah-palins-best-friend#comment-640097) a great idea for a new song: “Time Out For Young States.”
[re=640113]AKpoli[/re]: Please show respect.
New here, aren’t you?
[re=640143]Johnny Zhivago[/re]: And stay the hell off our lawn, also.
Reagan-National in D.C. Ronnie ‘thought’ he died in a WWII bomber over Tokyo.
Joey, have you ever been to a Turkish prison?
Ronnie even bequeathed us an aircraft carrier in case the Japs attack Pearl Bailey’s ass, again.
[re=640113]AKpoli[/re]: …How dare you be happy for anyone’s death…
The Wonkeratti are never happy about anything.
I’d say welcome to Wonkette but I imagine you’ve already been banned for your whining and earnestness.
[re=640175]Can O Whoopass[/re]: Not Japs, “Nips.” Nips is the correct term here. And Ron was also concerned with attacks on Minnie Pearl, Pearl Barley and Stephan Pastis.
The Seattle Times is delivered to my apartment daily. But how could I miss this headline? I must have become habituated to all of the anti-Republican sentiment. What a wonderful city.
Friend of mine reminds me that whenever he flies into Ronald Reagan Washington National Airport, his bags get lost. We laugh and do another shot.
[re=640095]Gratuitous World[/re]: “Mama Grizzly leaves giganto paw print?”
Asking Wonkette to show respect is like asking Sarah Palin to show intelligence.
[re=640092]WhatTheHeck[/re]: “You are now free to be strewn across a cabin.”
[re=640113]AKpoli[/re]: You talk too much to your scapegoat…
[re=640113]AKpoli[/re]: There’s not much cheering for Stevens’ death here; he was just corrupt, not a pure monster like Cheney; just mocking of other people’s reactions. Sorry for calling it a shitty state, though; I meant an slimy oil-covered frozen wasteland of a state that has shitty effect on America, giving us politicians who block rational energy policy, taking more money than it gives back, and being responsible for some of the most annoying national figures, like Sarah Palin and her brood, and Jewel.
I thought you were only allowed to fly into Reagan National if you: a) have a psychic clear your flight or b) you first get blown up in Lebanon and have to make things look good by invading some small airport no one cares about.
[re=640139]SmutBoffin[/re]: Wait, isn’t Denby a giant imaginary hedgehog that used to follow Sarah Palin around?
[re=640235]JMP[/re]: One thing I’ll say for Stevens, when his heart stopped beating, he laid down and let us pile dirt on him.
Cheny…not so much.
“The Internet is not a big truck. It’s more like a series of t-OHHHHH SHIIIIIIIIIII-”
[re=640113]AKpoli[/re]: Hey, I loved me some Uncle Ted. As a long-time denizen of D.C, he knew how the game was played, didn’t dip in the company inkwell (or not so’s you’d notice) and only took a small taste for himself. Folks in Alaska will miss those federal dollars pouring in. G
[re=640094]JMP[/re]: “Considering how defensive Palin gets about that shitty state, I’m wondering if all Alaskans are like that.”
As someone who’s visited that state on dozens of media assignments, I can testify that a hell of a lot of them are. And even more of them spend tons of verbal effort making snarky comments about “outsiders.” Even the most sedate, urban Anchorage barfly thinks Lower 48ers are some vague species of poodle. That’s part of the reason for Palin’s rhetoric. She’s not that atypical.
[re=640175]Can O Whoopass[/re]: [re=640184]user-of-owls[/re]: Thanks for the biggest laugh I have had today. Well done indeed! Though it’s going to take a while to get the image of Japanese second world war vintage dive bombers unloading on Pearl Bailey’s ass out of my mind…
I look forward to Palin’s imprint.
[re=640161]jus_wonderin[/re]: Apparently the non-snarky answer to that question is that such a plane would be far too heavy to get off the ground.
So, umm, to get back in keeping with the spirit of this site: How come they don’t make trucknutz for airplanes, huh?
Tipster “Foog” has nothing to do with Criggo. Criggo just loved this headline.
[re=640663]Criggo[/re]: Criggo beat tipster “Foog” to the punch. Indeed, I just stumbled upon the link somewhere and figured Wonkette would appreciate the subtle beauty and understatement of it all.
.
Comments on this entry are closed.