pie slide or pie chair?

Carl Levin Hit By Muslin Pie

Nice try ANSWERING YOUR CONSTITUENTS' QUESTIONS, Levin.Sen. Carl Levin was holding a question-and-answer session in Big Rapids, Michigan today when an anti-war protester hit him with a pie. We’ve been scouring the Internet for a photo of this funny turning point in the history of American aggression, but the best we could come up with is this accurate Blingee re-enactment.

The Big Rapids Pioneer newspaper reported the woman’s name as Ahlam Mohsen, a 23-year-old senior at Michigan State University; and her friend who instigated the incident with Levin as Max Kantar, 23. MSU lists Mohsen as a student, but it’s unknown what school Kantar attends.

These crazy kids must have been fans of What Would You Do? growing up.

More importantly, “Ahalam Mohsen” SOUNDS MUSLIN. Michigan is a state that lets Muslins build LOTS OF MOSQUES mere BLOCKS away from where Americans’ precious pets live, and lets Muslins walk freely amongst other Americans. This is what happens when our lax federal laws allow people with Muslin-sounding names to buy pies. [Detroit News]

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Jack Stuef is your loyal editor and a freelance satirist or something like that. He is a contributing writer for The Onion. E-mail him or whatever.

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43 comments

  1. bfstevie

    Excellent use of the Justin Bieber image in the Blingee. Justin may just be the 21st century’s answer to Les Paul.

  2. Lionel Hutz Esq.

    From now on, we must not allow Muslims to build Mosques within five blocks of our pie factories! Who will think of the children!

  3. the problem child

    I’m glad pieing is catching on in American political discourse. It’s so much more civilized than teabagging.

  4. bobwurst

    It better not a bin a apple pie gosh darn it. Next, they’ll be throwing baseballs, moms, and chevys.

  5. Come here a minute

    Mmmm…muslin pie.

    That’ll make him feel bad about the war! Good job, pie-throwing anti-war protesters.

  6. Prommie

    Man, I am just not fucking interested in Amurrika’s fuck-upedness today, it is not making me laugh. The vastness of the stupid, every fucking where, is getting tiresome, ponderous, man, fucking ponderous.

  7. TheCoolestGuyInTown

    Tea Bags are going to have trouble processing this story. Is it awesome because a Democrat got pied? Or is it an outrage because this girl was Muslim?

  8. DustBowlBlues

    At what point does the political scene in this country become so completely, over the top wacky that “our” wonkette is the only safe place for reasonable people to have civilized discourse? Or when the headlines from newspapers are indistinguishable from the onion?

    Was the pie lady wearing a pink tee shirt, by any chance?

  9. Hooray For Anything

    [re=639703]Come here a minute[/re]: Yeah, way to take aim at somebody whose sort of on your side and not somebody whose definitely NOT on your side. And way to make all those crazy Tea Partiers from last year seem polite and civilized.

  10. mumblyjoe

    [re=639701]mumblyjoe[/re]: Also, I’m apparently living 3 days in the past.

    So, forget. Forget immediately.

  11. SayItWithWookies

    I can’t wait for the first person to have the requisite security freakout and start spouting that if this pie had been a bomb a lot of people could’ve been killed, so why wasn’t it detected? Then it could’ve been weaponized and used to spread anthrax. Then we go before the UN with a resolution to invade Dearborn.

    [re=639706]Prommie[/re]: It may be fucking ponderous, but it’s still not as bad as coming out of an upbeat song and having to do a goddamn dead dog dedication.

  12. facehead

    [re=639706]Prommie[/re]: What you need is to analyze the vastness of the stupid, break it down into easily digestible parts, y’know, using a pie chart.

    HAW!

  13. jus_wonderin

    Wouldn’t it be funny if she had hit him in the face with…

    …3.141592653589793238462643383279502884197169399375105820974944592307816406286208998628034825342117067982148086513282306647093844609550582231725359408128481117450284102701938521105559644622948954930381964428810975665933446128475648233786783165271201909145648566923460348610454326648213393607260249141273724587006606315588174881520920962829254091715364367892590360011330530548820466521384146951941511609…

    Okay, maybe not.

  14. TheCoolestGuyInTown

    If someone pies Sarah Palin and gets a picture of it… I’m buying drinks for everyone!!!

    Or should they throw their shoes? As much as I abhor seeing women get hurt, seeing her get a shoe in the face would be very satisfying.

  15. finallyhappy

    Let’s not go there- the man who has been arrested for stabbing black and hispanic men in Michigan and Virginia is a CHRISTIAN(but he has an ARAB name so we should just call him Muslin)

  16. user-of-owls

    [re=639686]bfstevie[/re]: No, it’s more likely Justin is the 21st century embodiment of the 10th century 12th Imam

  17. bfstevie

    [re=639760]user-of-owls[/re]: You may be right. But tell me this: Is Justin shocked by the gratuitous violence of the waste of perfectly good pie?

  18. user-of-owls

    [re=639686]bfstevie[/re]: Ye of little faith. Any true believer knows that Justin Bieber is of the 10th century 12th Imam.

  19. whtehouseaim

    “Oh God, it chafes! IT CHAFES!”

    Muslin pies are the worst sort of pies to be hit with. In the name of civility, please, I appeal to my countrymen to use polyester pies.

  20. Trubbaman

    The sad thing is that, relatively speaking, Carl Levin is one of the good guys. I have a long list of other pols that should get pied before him.

  21. DustBowlBlues

    [re=639712]DustBowlBlues[/re]: Oops. I forgot she had a muslin name. In that case, was her burqua (of course I don’t know how to spell it. I’m a Methodist and an Amurikan in the Heartland) pink?

  22. Mad Brahms

    [re=639712]DustBowlBlues[/re]: It’s “The Daily Show Effect”, in which the only places safe for actual news and debate are the ones dedicated to making fun of it.

  23. Enslave the Whales

    If this were in the yoopie, it would have been a lemon meringue pie with a 12 inch meringue, with a consequent increase in the splattery humor.

    Also, “Max Kantor” sound suspiciously — non-Arab, amirite? Also, too, an anagram for “Roman Tax, k?”, which clearly means for us to render unto Caesar those pies which are Caesar’s.

  24. GOPCrusher

    “But at the end of a great meeting this morning, two young people took advantage of the gathering to read a long statement accusing senators of war crimes”

    I hate to tell you Ahlam and Max, but you wasted your pie on the wrong person.

  25. E.A.Blair

    I personally don’t know any practicing muslins, but I’ve been known to wear it from time to time.

Comments are closed.