This ad is called “vital” because John McCain’s vital signs are falling as he walks alone through the desert, in a demented haze, to his impending death from dehydration. It’s cute that he’s wearing that hat and those sleeves rolled up like his staffers taught him in 2008. Guess that’s the way he wants to go. Oh, that’s nice, he’s seeing a mirage: There are happy Arizonans here in the desert with him. And they want to hear what he has to say. That’s a nice thought, old man. Tell them about rebuilding our economy! Bet they want to hear that. So, umm, will they find his body before it’s devoured by coyotes/Vietcong?
While Walnuts is turned into jerky, his campaign has launched yet another attack ad:
Yes, quote a caller to a local talk radio show. That will make you seem like the opposite of “desperate.” [YouTube]
{ 54 comments }
as Joey from Scottsale says, “McCain’s a goner in more ways than one, Baba Booey.”
Baba Booey indeed, my good man.
I can’t watch, but didn’t Mike Gravel pioneer this type of campaign ad for olds? Just that McCain isn’t funny. At all.
Shouldn’t Walnuts be sporting an Uzi & shooting any brown people he sees? Seems like that would seal the deal for him.
Get Off My Cacti!!1!
John who?
In the desert no one remembers your name
and there ain’t no one for to give you no pain, let alone contributions.
I hope he wanders around the desert for five and a half years. Serves him right for luring that crazy bitch from Alaska out of her igloo.
I like the serious Phillip Glass music on the 2nd video about J.D. Hayworth’s support for President O.J. Simpson.
John’s signs wouldn’t be vital iffin’ he downed a whole bottle of Viagra,
I can’t wait until McCain’s campaign ads are indistinguishable from a dramatization of “The Jilting of Granny Weatherall.” And soon thereafter all GOP infighting will resemble a rumble between the psycho ward and the Alzheimer’s floor.
Those sleeves rolled a quarter way up his arms really tie the grandpa look together. Complete the dang sleeve roll-up!
Does he have any friends who will set him on fire, Gram Parsons-style?
He must really hate Cindy. Any other man would be content to retire and stay home, by the pool, the rest of his days drinking up the fortune and stock of his beer-heiress wife.
HEENNNGGH! Also.
The ad has an important message for the voters; “John McCain: he’s not dead yet.”
He’s supposed to be carrying a milk jug full of water.
Are we sure this is not film of McCain coming over the boarder illegally from his native Panama so that he could have anchor babies with his various wives?
Of course, as we all know, old people wandering off into the desert muttering to themselves usually don’t end well.
“One of my houses must be out here somewhere. I’ll get a cold drink and then call Joe & Lindsey. Maybe it’s just over that rise there.”
[re=639626]Lionel Hutz Esq.[/re]: Ding-ding.
Background theme, Don’t Fence Me In?
Just to be sure he nails the fossilized vote down, the camera pans over that photo collection in mid-20th century frames. Nobody under 50 even remembers that older-than-dirt shit.
Coincidentally, the words “the opposite of” are also a mirage. They should just call him Desperado, but in a really sad way. And they should have him make a sad puppy face. Or, they could just try not to remake Gerry.
Needs moar circling buzzards.
Is that McCain video safe for work?
There’s a point now John that if you keep going out into the Arizona desert like that
your skin will be too rough to make a saddle out of for Cindy—- after you’re mauled by
coyotes or one of Meghan’s pissed off little pocket dogs.
John McCain, Character Matters! (as in more “horrific characters as running mates”/”more cartoon characters”)
You wouldn’t know “character” if it bit you in the ass!
Yes, Johnny Mac, characters do matter and I’ll never forgive you for what you did foisting such a “character” into the national political scene and giving her a voice. We would have squashed her in Alaska, given some time, yet you had to make her bigger than life and give her a national voice….thanks McCain; nice to see you are shading yourself from the hot AZ sun with a hat. Probably too late, but thanks for showing some brown people as well in your stoopid video.
That was all over the place, wasn’t it? Perhaps the ‘Palin’ is a communicable Alaskan disease? God I hope not.
Off to wave at Lyndon LaRouche in Palmer…..
Guess he’s written off the browns, blacks and youngs of Arizona. It will work, dangnabbit!
Needs to close with a tiny band of ACTUAL SCORPIONS playing “Send me an Angel (but not an Angelo or Angela)”
Yes?
[re=639651]Tarangela[/re]:
“to make a saddle out of for Cindy”
-
Is that a sexual euphemism? And how long of a skewer do I need to reach part of my brain where that scary mental image is coming from??
At what point does Grandpa stop wandering the desert looking for his pants? Will someone eventually tell him he’s already wearing them? I sure hope he makes his way home soon… Final Jeopardy is starting, and Gramps gets upset when he’s not home in time for The Wheel…
Also, trollop, too.
I see/hear that Johnny Mac did not approve of the second spot. Full one minute ad buys, too. Big $$$.
I tied an onion to my belt which was the style back then.
In the closing shot, his right hand looks like it’s going all “Dr. Strangelove” on us. “Mein Fuhrer… I can walk!”
God, I can’t even laugh at Walnuts anymore…it’s just so sad. And then he sums it up with “character matters” as he whores himself out to the fringe right that has taken over his party. It’s just pitiful.
Of course his sleeves are rolled up — he’s going to pick lettuce. You can’t do it, my friends.
Has thedirty.com come out with an endorsement in this race yet? I pretty much go with whichever candidate Brock Landers says is better for my social life.
[re=639611]DC Hates Me[/re]: Exactly!
Taxes. Government takeover of health care. And… did ya SEE how black he is?
Hayworth will pounce on the fact that in neither ad was McCain shown emptying a clip into a mosque full of gay Mexicans.
No Country for Embittered Deranged Old Men
“So, umm, will they find his body before it’s devoured by coyotes/Vietcong?”
Jack, even Victor Charles wouldn’t eat that. Too old and stringy.
However, if they hung up the meat to age for FIVE AND A HALF YEARS, ALAN . . . .
[re=639733]Whiskeybaby[/re]: Oh, by the way: WIN!
[Although I was going to go with something like "Walnuts is back to wandering in the desert, looking for his childhood buddy . . . Moses.]
[re=639652]LakeLucilleLoon[/re]: No need for apology. I thought that was cogent and well said.
Is it just me or are there only white people in that ad?
In Alaska they set the Old People adrift on an ice floe when they no longer serve a purpose. In Arizona, they take them out to the desert to wander aimlessly.
May his headless torso be stumbled upon by none other than Jan Brewer, out for her morning Glock.
[re=639626]Lionel Hutz Esq.[/re]: My initial thought was, “Wetback.”
[re=639650]jus_wonderin[/re]: Jesus Fucking Christ, I do hope so.
[re=639650]jus_wonderin[/re]: You made me snort with laughter twice in about 3 seconds, well done.
We have a scourge of packrats and scorpions in Arizona this summer. That was my first clue that the end is near. This election is the second.
[re=639652]LakeLucilleLoon[/re]: Beat me to it on that one. Maybe he was talking about having more charater than JD Hayworth, what with his background having more character is easy.
Jesus, this a contest between a retard and alzheimers patient.
[re=639630]chascates[/re]: The indefatigable chascates. One of the great unpaid reasons to visit Wonkett.
[re=639674]Cool2Snog[/re]: We had to say dickety because the Kaiser had stolen our word twenty.
[re=639621]JMP[/re]: The ad has an important message for the voters; “John McCain: he’s not dead yet.”
Is that good news for, well, anybody?
McCain walks like a dwarf. Arms too short. Arms which kind of swing side-to-side in unison. He will be remembered more for his dwarfish swagger then then his years of service to our country.
That is all I am capable of, poking fun at dwarfs. Thank you very much.
He gave us Dingbat Barbie for dang good reason.
He couldn’t find one non-white Arizonan to look wistfully into the camera for that first ad? Oh right, this is only the Republican primary.
Yeah, Walnuts! It’s about character. Once apon a time, folks actually thought you had some. Before all that shilling for your corporate masters, and the “honourable” Presidential campaign that was anything but. Then, as other Wonketteers have pointed out, there was the small matter of the Witch of Wasilla…
Maybe that’s why you were out in the desert, wandering around like a mangy coyote. You were trying to find your lost character. Not having much luck finding it though, are you old bean?
…Or maybe that danged Straight Talk Express just conked out on the way back to the retirement home?
“..every Arizona family..”[cut to nondescript ethnic female]…blah blah.. “John McCain. Charactah Mattahs”. –is he going for the Jewish vote?
Ha, The Glassman cometh!
Comments on this entry are closed.