Vampire Kings 'Regulate Us Till We Bleed'

The art of protest balladry has long been associated with America's lesbian-pinko Bob Dylan left-wing, because of the record companies and their bedrugged teenaged audiences. But finally, as it did at CBGB in the 1970s, the art of the song has found a flowering scene on YouTube, where conservatism speaks, nay, SINGS!

"Culture of Corruption (Keynesian Kings & Socialist Queens)" takes most of its references from the 1990s, a clear recontextualization of the sounds strongly associated with the Clinton era, when Republicans were tortured daily by liberal muzak from Nirvana and Bikini Kill. Thankfully, the video artfully helps us viewers put its lyrics in context. For example: juxtaposing an image of Charlie Rangel dancing the hip-hop with color-corrected footage of 1920s-style gangsters cleverly reminds us that Mr. Rangel is a notorious bootlegger, and must be stopped.

"Rise Up" by Jeremy Hoop, from his stunning Rise Up EP, has several obvious musical touchstones. Hoop LITERALLY rings the bell of freedom in this song; a clear reference to Alexander Graham Bell and his invention, the recording machine, which eventually allowed this immense piece of art to be recorded. Instead of simply riding the chillwave to indie stardom via Brian Wilson references and Animal Collective plagiarisms, Hoop chooses to eschew the sweet summer sounds that are now so popular in lieu of Hitler-esque backing vocals, implying a sense of hopeful terror.

"IT'S PROPHESIED (End Times Anthem)" by William Tapley is a low-fi slow jam structured around the classic combination of hip-hop backing-beat and synthesized organ. The song stretches out early on, allowing room for the listener to concentrate on the lyrics, and boy, those lyrics! By comparing America to both Babylon and a burning whore, Tapley casts a strong light on our nation's chlamydia epidemic. Obama is referred to as the Leopard King, which can only refer to Obama's Kenyan heritage. Let's just say that if this is what music sounds like in heaven, your Wonkette CAN'T WAIT to be raptured.