IT'S MORNING IN AMERICA  8:41 am August 16, 2010

The Battle Of ‘Meet the Press’

by Josh Fruhlinger

  • NEVER FORGETGeneral Petraeus is on the scene in Afghanistan — and by “Afghanistan” we mean “the Sunday morning political talk shows, in America” — to announce his intention to just stone cold win this war for you, whether you like it or not. “The president didn’t send me over here to seek a graceful exit,” Petraeus said, as he made his plans for a bloody, desperate exit midway through President Palin’s first term. In order to achieve these goals, he’s bringing in all the folks who helped him out in Iraq, including some dude from the American Enterprise Institute. [NYT]
  • Mike Huckabee has jumped out to an early lead in Iowa caucus polling! You will recall that Mike Huckabee won the Iowa caucuses in 2008, which catapulted him into his current job as a Fox talk show host, so this is good news … for Mike Huckabee. [WP]
  • The Rod Blagojevich jury simply cannot decide how big a hero the ex-governor of Illinois is, or how big a reward to give him for his faithful service to America. [AP]
  • Tits or GTFO, Mr. President. [NYT]
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Tybalt August 16, 2010 at 8:49 am

Mr. and Mrs. President make my shorts feel tight.

ManchuCandidate August 16, 2010 at 8:52 am

The fact that this Preznit looks good without shirt on just increases the rage of the jiggly C-cup male tea baggers who have another thing to hate him for.

weejee August 16, 2010 at 9:04 am

including some dude from the American Enterprise Institute
Ah, Newtie Gingrich…, ah John Bolton…, ah Lynne Cheney – no she’s a dudette, ah…Obamas Left Testicle?

Terry August 16, 2010 at 9:09 am

“including some dude from the American Enterprise Institute”

A member of the 101st Fighting Keyboardists? That should really turn the war around, given all they did in Iraq.

plowman August 16, 2010 at 9:09 am

Rod Blagojevich is a poopyhead too.

harry palmer August 16, 2010 at 9:10 am

“a bloody, desperate exit midway through President Palin’s first term” that of course will be blamed on Nobama.

And the freeing of Blago’s hair will be a victory for reality TV!

PrimlyStable August 16, 2010 at 9:12 am

[re=639166]ManchuCandidate[/re]: I imagine they’ll announce that it’s undignified for the preznit to be seen without a shirt on and that it demeans the office as George Washington was never photographed (painted?) topless. Combined with taking off his jacket in the oval office and resting his feet on the desk (just like Dubya), it’s practically grounds for impeachment.

PLUS the only other world leader we regularly see shirtless is Vladimir Putin, which just goes to prove that Obama is a communist.

samsuncle August 16, 2010 at 9:16 am

Lets all hope we never see shirtless photos of Gingrich, Barbour, and Huckabee.

Geogre August 16, 2010 at 9:18 am

You know my favorite part?

My favorite part was that, in early 2008, strategists were saying that Bush’s elevation of Patraeus had ensured that his foreign policy would remain intact, as there would be no way for a future president to demote him. That’s my favorite part. To have a walking beer can from Texas control you is quite an insult.

S.Luggo August 16, 2010 at 9:18 am

Barry knows that only the buff and sturdy shall be allowed to use the Ground Zero mosque/health club/juice bar.

Monsieur Grumpe August 16, 2010 at 9:19 am

Blago is not going away is he?
*big sigh*

Larry McAwful August 16, 2010 at 9:20 am

If Mike Huckabee doesn’t become president again, is he going to go back to doing Subway commercials?

harry palmer August 16, 2010 at 9:23 am

[re=639176]Geogre[/re]: You demean beer cans everywhere.

WadISay August 16, 2010 at 9:27 am

Seriously, do these generals we have “fighting the war” in Iraqistan ever actually spend any time there? Seems like they are always giving speeches in Europe, or in front of Congress, or on some panel of talking heads. Good news for the Taliban commanders, who want to do the eat-pray-love thing in Bali.

Oblios Cap August 16, 2010 at 9:42 am

Is it time for Petraeus to retire, too? When did he start setting foreign policy?

Manos: Hands of Fate August 16, 2010 at 9:47 am

I love the stink of David Gregory in the morning — it smells like, like victory.

germansteel August 16, 2010 at 9:57 am

Patraeous is setting the groundwork for the time honored military tradition, when you know you can’t win the war, of declaring, “By god, I’m as surprised as anyone else how well things have turned out, but we won and we’re going home now!!!” About on the schedule that the Commander-in-Chief said in the first place.

McCain. Graham and Lieberman will be pissed, but they’re bed wetting Nancys anyway.

Dr. Zoidberg August 16, 2010 at 9:58 am

Could we start off every week with that picture of the President?

Limeylizzie August 16, 2010 at 10:00 am

[re=639166]ManchuCandidate[/re]: And ,I as a female jiggly D cup Lib, am delighted to see this picture of Hopey again.

gurukalehuru August 16, 2010 at 10:01 am

Jesus H. Corncob Christ, the Iowa primaries are still fucking 18 months away, give or take a couple months. We’ll have colonies on Mars by then.

Limeylizzie August 16, 2010 at 10:01 am

[re=639175]samsuncle[/re]: My moist haz dried up.

Terry August 16, 2010 at 10:10 am


You’ve never seen the General’s private chamber at Mount Vernon, then.

Can O Whoopass August 16, 2010 at 10:18 am

Forget Patraeous.

Gen’n John Wayne would say, “Let’s just quit this pussy-footing crap out. Give the Afghani’s each a new Cadillac Escalade, a box of Cuban cigars from the Kennedy storage shed and a case of Ripple from the Bush basement and call it quits. Shitheads”.

elenique August 16, 2010 at 10:40 am

why can’t we just send all the mcdonald’s happy meals we’re trying to ban to afghanistan? that’ll show em…..trojan horse like.

Autochthon August 16, 2010 at 11:09 am

I’d hit that…

Tim Was Tim August 16, 2010 at 12:02 pm

“bloody, desperate exit midway through President Palin’s first term.”

She really doesn’t seem like the war ending type.

Enslave the Whales August 16, 2010 at 12:24 pm

[re=639306]Tim Was Tim[/re]: Quitter, remember.

tribbzthesquidz August 16, 2010 at 12:37 pm

Fine. Let it be Huckabee. Hopefully there will be a peaceful NON-transfer of power when those peckerheads lose again.

Obamas Left Testicle August 16, 2010 at 2:05 pm

Your mewling snark about Afghanistan and Palin is cute. Obama could pull out tomorrow if he wanted to.

GOPCrusher August 16, 2010 at 3:05 pm

It would comical to see the Bible Spice Political Attack Machine going after Huckabuckle. Maybe accusing him for not being religious enough? Didn’t quit half way through his first term as Governor? Closet Pro-Choicer?

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