Idiot Grandma Hears About This 'WikiLeaks' Somewhere

Your least-favorite exurban grandma has been messing with the 'puter again, and this time she's got some HOT news from the AOL Fwds: There is something called "Wikileaks," and it is leaking things either on or from The Enemy. Do you even know who the Enemy is? Neither does Sarah Palin! But she's pretty sure that "press protection" -- and here, we can only assume she's jabbering about the United States' Bill of Rights, as she's unaware that Wikileaks exists globally and was specifically designed to evade shutdown by any jurisdiction -- doesn't let you help The Enemy!

And within the vast chaotic trove of Wikileaks documents on the Afghanistan nightmare, "The Enemy" must either be the U.S. military personnel driven by conscience to release the damning material, our "ally" Pakistan for funding and protecting the Taliban, or the Bush/Cheney Administration for deliberately abandoning "nation building" in Afghanistan to pursue the more profitable route of bombing the fuck out of Iraq forever, right? Oh never mind we're talking about Sarah Palin here, so "The Enemy" means "New York Muslims building a gym near Sacred Ground Zero."

Did we mention Sarah Palin is an idiot?

Wikileaks: w/freedom comes responsibility.Free press protection gives no license to aid enemy;consider our own troops sacrificing for you...

Is Wikileaks an Alive Person? Probably, in the synaptic gravel pits of Snowbilly Sarah's mind. But even if she believes this "Wikileaks," if that is his real name, is an actual person and not a loosely organized global network of web servers, international top-level domains, internet service providers and mirror sites, what makes her think this Wick E. Leeks is an American, other than that his name sounds like a typical white-trash bastard squeezed out of a 14-year-old living in a trailer park with her mom's ex-boyfriend's tattoo guy?

Has it completely failed to sink into Palin's square head that this Wikileaks everybody's been talking about nonstop for nearly a month is run by aforeigner? Or does Palin just figure Julian Assange (despite his French/Girl name) has the same queen as we do because he's Australian, like Nicole Kidman and the Bee Gees? And how, exactly, are "our own troops sacrificing for you," presumably (?) meaning Assange? These "free press protections" Palin twits about, should they maybe include the Death Penalty for people who mangle language?

Wikileaks staff-whomever's calling the shots there is unconscionably aiding/abetting the enemy;don't contribute to this. Speak out. Do right

Sarah, why don't you just call the Wikileaks consumer 1-800 hotline, and speak to a representative? Maybe you'll get one of the nice staffers like that online shoe store has, the one where you can just keep ordering shit and trying it on and sending it back forever, the UPS man justhatingyou so much, but the online shoe store knows you'll eventually forget about $600 of shoes in the back of the walk-in closet you didn't drive over to UPS, because where the fuck is UPS anyway, it's just a truck that appears and then vanishes again, like Jesus, but full of shoes. [ Sarah Palin Twitter ]