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Grizzled Old Coot Will Be Oklahoma’s Next Democratic Senator

You can get a good deal on a campaign sweatshirt at ChampionYour Wonkette takes its mandate to keep you abreast of any and all wacky political candidates seriously! So today we introduce you to your new boyfriend, assuming you like old dudes who wear baseball caps and have gross-looking beards. Jim Rogers has run for the Democratic Senate nomination in Oklahoma four times, and we all know that the fourth time is the charm, so now he is your nominee. And come November, Tom Coburn’s reign of terror will be over!

What was it that finally put Rogers over the top? Was it his principled, thoughtful stands on issues that are important to Oklahoma voters, as reported by Oklahoma City’s News 9?

Candidate provided no alt text joke

Was it his tireless campaigning across the state and networking with party leaders that allowed him to beat attorney Mark Myles?

In past campaigns, Rogers hasn’t attended forums or debates. Party leaders say their conversations with Rogers have been few and they don’t know how to reach him.

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“I kept telling people I was running against a ghost,” Myles said. “I knew Mr. Rogers wasn’t campaigning, but I had to overcome his name recognition.”

“I put about 8,000 miles on my car and just ran out of time before I could get to all the places I wanted to get to. I was very well received by the audiences I talked to,” Myles said.

Hmm, name recognition, you say?

“Names matter,” said Ben Odom, an attorney and longtime political consultant. “If you’re going to run for office in Oklahoma, you can’t have a better name than Rogers.”

Some may have assumed Rogers was related to Oklahoma’s own Will Rogers, the 1930s performer and political pundit, he said.

Jim Rogers is not in fact related to Will Rogers, although he is like Will Rogers in that he doesn’t have a website. But who needs a website when you have an enormous sign that you can hold up in the direction of oncoming traffic — a sign that, as near as we can tell, declares that “US MILITARY PD TINKER AFB USPS VETERANS FDX UPS TAX PAYERS OHP TRUCKERS OPE [...] CHURCH?”

Unlike Will Rogers, Jim Rogers has a Facebook account. Make him your friend, if you dare! Then report back to your Wonkette what happens on his page, as we are too afraid to try it. [News9/The Oklahoman/Jim Rogers Facebook]

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About the author

Josh was born and raised in Buffalo, New York, leaving him with a love of chicken wings and a tendency to say “pop”. He taught ancient Greek and Roman history to undergraduates before fleeing from academia in terror; worked for a failed San Francisco dot-com that neglected to supply him with stock options or an Aeron chair; lived in Berlin, where he mostly ate Indian and Ethiopian food; finished in third place on his sole Jeopardy! appearance (the correct answer was “Golda Meir”); and was named 2007 Blogger of the Year by The Week, for obvious reasons. Josh is the creator/editor of COMICS CURMUDGEON (which you should read) and does geeky editing and writing about geeky things such as "the Java programming industry for JavaWorld." He lives in Baltimore with his wife Amber and his cat Hoagie.

View all articles by Josh Fruhlinger

Hola wonkerados.

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45 comments

  1. JMP

    Didn’t Will Rogers die before the vast majority of people alive today was born? I wouldn’t think there would be much lingering affection for him except among the comically old. Now I could see people voting for him because of a misconception he was related to Fred Rogers, and would bring about a beautiful day in their neighborhood.

  2. SayItWithWookies

    Jim Rogers’ innovative plan for economic recovery is to give all unemployed people shopping carts that they can use to collect cans and bottles.

  3. Scarab

    Named like Will Rogers, looks like a Willie Nelson and Santa. He couldn’t be a better Oklahoma candidate even if he was deep-fried.

  4. Manos: Hands of Fate

    He’s only running because he’s fed up with Boss Hogg and Rosco P. Coltrane from harrassing his nephews.

  5. slappypaddy

    mister rogers has put his shoes on and escaped from his beautiful neighborhood, to go blowing across the plains for the betterment of all.

  6. user-of-owls

    [re=638214]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]: That all depends on Mr. Rogers’ stance regarding rampant lesbianism in Southeast Oklahoma schools. You simply cannot win a seat in Oklahoma without taking a position on rampant lesbianism in Southeast Oklahoma schools. Behold then-candidate Tom Coburn in 2004:

    “lesbianism is so rampant in some of the schools in southeast Oklahoma that they’ll only let one girl go to the bathroom. Now think about it. Think about that issue. How is it that that’s happened to us?”

    How has it happened indeed.

  7. MissyLissa

    Wasn’t his name Jim Rogers in his previous failed attempts at the nomination? If so then I’m not sure why it suddenly accounts for his popularity.

    No, it’s far more likely that this entire election cycle has been some type of viral marketing for the new game Grand Theft Auto: Crazyville.

  8. Oblios Cap

    [re=638226]Potater[/re]: [re=638224]Cornhusker Kickback[/re]:

    Damn! That Hobo Bean Diet really works!

  9. Mild Midwesterner

    The take away message from all of this is that the long dead Will Rogers could still get elected in Oklahoma.

  10. ArkansasFred

    Well I can’t think of a better way to practice for a long and distinguished Senate career than by doing jack shit.

  11. BOOBIES!

    [re=638241]Mild Midwesterner[/re]:

    If I could vote for dead Will Rogers, I would do so in a heartbeat.

  12. Come here a minute

    To borrow a phrase from the Washington Capitals marketing department, that old coot is really Rocking the Red.

  13. Aunt Fancy

    I’ll vote for him, hell why not? At least when he gets kicked out if we elect Askins she can appoint another Dem.

  14. PineyWoodster

    [re=638205]JMP[/re]: “I wouldn’t think there would be much lingering affection for him except among the comically old.”

    Who else votes in off-year Primaries?

  15. user-of-owls

    [re=638251]BOOBIES![/re]: Be careful. If you raise him from the dead he’s likely to advocate Voodoo Economics.

  16. JMP

    [re=638241]Mild Midwesterner[/re]: Dead Will would do a better job than Inhofe or Coburn.

    [re=638259]PineyWoodster[/re]: True that. And who else lives in Oklahoma?

  17. user-of-owls

    [re=638252]Come here a minute[/re]: [re=638251]BOOBIES![/re]:

    Jim Rogers/Will Rogers 2010: “Bring out your red!”

  18. weejee

    As an old coot with a beard I gotta hope my Wonkette will get the scoop of the century and land an interview with Jim Rogers.

    [re=638244]JMP[/re]: I think you’re spot on with that one.

  19. I Heart Accuracy

    Visualize motorcade: the Shriners in front, followed by Jim in a radio flyer pulled by a donkey, and a trailing poop-eating goat. This is change we can believe in.

  20. An Outhouse

    If you have a state, and one of the major political parties offers up some old codger as a Senate candidate , your statehood should be at risk. Can we demote Oklahoma to a district like D.C.?

  21. gurukalehuru

    Will Rogers had a sweetly ironic sense of humor and believed in tolerance and love of your fellow man. He couldn’t get elected dogcatcher in Oklahoma today.

  22. DustBowlBlues

    [re=638219]Chernobyl Soup[/re]: Hey, dickwad: Just because the old man kicks me off “my” wonkette so he can surf porn doesn’t mean he’s a comic clown. Just a randy old clown.

    Speaking of comic clown, I think I mixed up this guy with an endorsement for a guy running against Dan Boren–the only OK Democrat in congress and a clone, voting-wise, of Ben Nelson–which isn’t even my district and I’m an old and confused like a New York Jew voting in Florida and, wtf, I think I voted for this guy.

    Laugh if you will, smarmy wonkeratti in your hoity-toity blue states with your voters who are literate, but come November, I’ll do it again. Any biped would be preferable to Coburn and his fear of eight foot lesbians invading Little Dixie. Hell, when I was a little girl I had a poodle smarter than Spooky Doktor Tom.

Comments are closed.