quick! god! do earthquakes!

WHO LET THE DOGS OUT? VAUGHN! VAUGHN! VAUGHN WALKER!TIME FOR EVERYONE IN CALIFORNIA TO GET GAY-MARRIED AGAIN, OR NOT: UPDATED: It was originally breathlessly reported that Judge Vaughn Walker had lifted the stay on the decision to strike down Proposition 8, so that California is once again a state where the gays can do gross things like “nuptials” in front of our poor, innocent children. Couples were already lined up at City Hall in San Francisco! That sounds familiar! But it turns out the stay was extended until August 18. THEN Californians can ruin America with this “marriage” smut. [LA Times]

About the author

Jack Stuef is your loyal editor and a freelance satirist or something like that. He is a contributing writer for The Onion. E-mail him or whatever.

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  • Evan Hurst

    NO GAY MARRYING UNTIL AUGUST 18, for the ruling states that gays shall not get g-arried without picking out the proper china patterns, which cannot be done in haste.

  • Litlebritdifrnt

    Sorry Jack you are wrong, the stay is in effect until August 18, THEN they can all go and get married. Would suggest you correct the article.

    ORDER by Judge Walker denying 705[RECAP] Motion to Stay. The clerk is DIRECTED to enter judgment forthwith. That judgment shall be STAYED until August 18, 2010 at 5 PM PDT at which time defendants and all persons under their control or supervision shall cease to apply or enforce Proposition 8. (vrwlc1, COURT STAFF) (Filed on 8/12/2010) (Entered: 08/12/2010)

    h/t the wonderful Tes at Politijab.

  • Litlebritdifrnt

    Second Order:

    PERMANENT INJUNCTION. This action having come before and tried by the court and the court considered the same pursuant to FRCP 52(a), on August 4, 2010, ordered entry of judgment in favor of plaintiffs and plaintiff-intervenors and against defendants and defendant-intervenors and each of them, Doc #708, now therefore: IT IS HEREBY ORDERED, ADJUDGED AND DECREED that: Defendants in their official capacities, and all persons under the control or supervision of defendants, are permanently enjoined from applying or enforcing Article I, § 7.5 of the California Constitution. (cgk, COURT STAFF) (Filed on 8/12/2010) (Entered: 08/12/2010)

    Again h/t Tes at Politijab.

  • Ninong

    Suck it, Maggie Gallagher and Tony Perkins!

  • SayItWithWookies

    Now our nation will surely descend into ruin, chaos and insanity. Oh, wait.

  • rafflesinc

    This gives the supporters of Prop 8 time to appeal to the 9th circuit. Their initial request for a further stay will be heard by a “motions panel” consisted of two (more or less) liberal Clinton appointees (one of whom was on Obama’s short list to replace Stevens) and a Reagan appointee.

    http://www.ca9.uscourts.gov/content/motionspanel.php

  • Extemporanus

    [re=637691]Evan Hurst[/re]: [re=637692]Litlebritdifrnt[/re]: STONE COLD MAZEL COCKBLOCKED!

  • Can O Whoopass

    They’re gonna be divoced so many times The Pope and the Mormons won’t need to convert them.

  • OhCrapIHaveACrushOnSarahPalin

    Yay, right in time for the midterms.

  • facehead

    Wow, this was almost as bad as when someone misspelled ‘Stradivarius.’

    But, in any case, hurray for teh gay! BOOOOTSEX FUR EVA!

  • Monsieur Grumpe

    Now California is just a trendy as Iowa.

  • facehead

    As long as they don’t get gay married too soon after labor day.

  • Monsieur Grumpe

    Now California is just as trendy as Iowa.

    gaa!

  • queeraselvis v 2.0

    Hurray! Handjobs for everyone!*

    *Some restrictions apply (this means you, Ben Quayle)

  • Aurelio

    We are rearranging deck chairs on the Titanic.

  • GOPCrusher

    [re=637722]Monsieur Grumpe[/re]: Iowa welcomes California to the 21st Century. Been waiting a long time to type those words.

  • just pixels

    Psst. Bill, Glenn … the Culture Warriors Army does not have a DADT policy. It’s more like IOKIYAR. Just watch out for Ann Coulter — he’s a real cougar. And Rush only smokes cigars to stay in practice. Just sing it out boys: “California here I come….”