quick! god! do earthquakes!

WHO LET THE DOGS OUT? VAUGHN! VAUGHN! VAUGHN WALKER!TIME FOR EVERYONE IN CALIFORNIA TO GET GAY-MARRIED AGAIN, OR NOT: UPDATED: It was originally breathlessly reported that Judge Vaughn Walker had lifted the stay on the decision to strike down Proposition 8, so that California is once again a state where the gays can do gross things like “nuptials” in front of our poor, innocent children. Couples were already lined up at City Hall in San Francisco! That sounds familiar! But it turns out the stay was extended until August 18. THEN Californians can ruin America with this “marriage” smut. [LA Times]

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Jack Stuef is your loyal editor and a freelance satirist or something like that. He is a contributing writer for The Onion. E-mail him or whatever.

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17 comments

  1. Evan Hurst

    NO GAY MARRYING UNTIL AUGUST 18, for the ruling states that gays shall not get g-arried without picking out the proper china patterns, which cannot be done in haste.

  2. Litlebritdifrnt

    Sorry Jack you are wrong, the stay is in effect until August 18, THEN they can all go and get married. Would suggest you correct the article.

    ORDER by Judge Walker denying 705[RECAP] Motion to Stay. The clerk is DIRECTED to enter judgment forthwith. That judgment shall be STAYED until August 18, 2010 at 5 PM PDT at which time defendants and all persons under their control or supervision shall cease to apply or enforce Proposition 8. (vrwlc1, COURT STAFF) (Filed on 8/12/2010) (Entered: 08/12/2010)

    h/t the wonderful Tes at Politijab.

  3. Litlebritdifrnt

    Second Order:

    PERMANENT INJUNCTION. This action having come before and tried by the court and the court considered the same pursuant to FRCP 52(a), on August 4, 2010, ordered entry of judgment in favor of plaintiffs and plaintiff-intervenors and against defendants and defendant-intervenors and each of them, Doc #708, now therefore: IT IS HEREBY ORDERED, ADJUDGED AND DECREED that: Defendants in their official capacities, and all persons under the control or supervision of defendants, are permanently enjoined from applying or enforcing Article I, § 7.5 of the California Constitution. (cgk, COURT STAFF) (Filed on 8/12/2010) (Entered: 08/12/2010)

    Again h/t Tes at Politijab.

  4. Extemporanus

    [re=637691]Evan Hurst[/re]: [re=637692]Litlebritdifrnt[/re]: STONE COLD MAZEL COCKBLOCKED!

  5. Can O Whoopass

    They’re gonna be divoced so many times The Pope and the Mormons won’t need to convert them.

  6. facehead

    Wow, this was almost as bad as when someone misspelled ‘Stradivarius.’

    But, in any case, hurray for teh gay! BOOOOTSEX FUR EVA!

  7. queeraselvis v 2.0

    Hurray! Handjobs for everyone!*

    *Some restrictions apply (this means you, Ben Quayle)

  8. GOPCrusher

    [re=637722]Monsieur Grumpe[/re]: Iowa welcomes California to the 21st Century. Been waiting a long time to type those words.

  9. just pixels

    Psst. Bill, Glenn … the Culture Warriors Army does not have a DADT policy. It’s more like IOKIYAR. Just watch out for Ann Coulter — he’s a real cougar. And Rush only smokes cigars to stay in practice. Just sing it out boys: “California here I come….”

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