Blagojevich Jury Deadlocked On 22 of 24 Counts

  if it doesn't fit you must acquit

Parachute opening now.America’s Governor, Rod Blagojevich, cannot be convicted of anything because he’s too sexy. This is why the jury just told the judge, “Uhhh,” as they can’t decide on ANYTHING, and are permanently, hopelessly deadlocked on 22 of the 24 counts. (And those other two, wire-fraud/telephone charges, haven’t even been decided.) FREE BLAGO HE IS PURE AS ELVIS. [Sun Times]

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A writer and editor of this website from 2006 to early 2012, Ken Layne is occassionally seen on Twitter and writes small books and is already haunting you from beyond (your) grave.

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23 comments

  1. user-of-owls

    So we won’t have a Steven Biko-style ending to this epic blow for freedom? Damn. Now what am I gonna do with all my “Rod Blagojevich and Desmond Tutu walk into a bar…” jokes?

  2. just pixels

    They need to ask Sarah Palin’s mannequin head for help. It is the wisest Sarah Palin head in the entire universe.

  3. harry palmer

    The prosecutor bringing the case before Blago had walked all the way into the trap is fuckin golden. Also, the ladies on the jury were diggin his hair.

  4. SayItWithWookies

    Maybe they updated the article, but it now says that the jury has only reached a unanimous conclusion on two of 24 counts, and has yet to debate any of the wire fraud counts, which compose more than half the charges. They’re deadlocked on the rest of the counts.

  5. Prommie

    [re=637457]harry palmer[/re]: Fitzgerald threw a hysterical naive prissypants fit when he fucking brought the case and made the investigation public (unethically) in the first place. What a fucking weenie. Yet he left Rove and Cheney alone in le affaire Yellowcake, a felony committed as part of the fraudulent case for a fraudulent war that has killed half a million.

  6. MLHencken

    Blago should just be sentenced to perpetually ride the Detroit People Mover and beg for change inside the COBO center.

  7. Manos: Hands of Fate

    I hope we remember that before the system went after Charlie Rangel and Maxine Waters they took on Blago first.

  8. Chernobyl Soup

    Response prediction:

    Guilty: “See, all dems are crooks!”

    Not-guilty: “See, Nobama and his Chicago cronies rigged the jury!”

  9. dijetlo

    [re=637445]user-of-owls[/re]:

    August 2010, South Chicago, weather fine
    It was, business as usual, in court room 619.

    Oh Blago, Blago, Blago, Blago….
    Oh Blago, Blago, Blago, Blago….

    When I try to sleep at night
    I can, only hear him sing
    A senate seat, does not come cheap
    It’s a, fucking golden thing.

    Oh Blago, Blago, Blago, Blago….
    Oh Blago, Blago, Blago, Blago….

    The eyes of the world are watching now……watching now…..

  10. Extemporanus

    [re=637493]dijetlo[/re]: A Blago-a-Go-Go is a fruggin’ valuable thing…

    Go go, go Blago, GO GO GO!

  11. Mr Blifil

    Countdown to rumors of Chicago Gangsta Barack Hussein Obama Capone personally influencing jury in 5…4…3…

  12. AliBabaInBA

    No idea what will become of this trial but I am curious as to whether newly minted convicts have their heads shaven when entering the prison.
    I have nothing more to add.

  13. McDuff

    Time to tell the judge he’s “in the ledger” and to bring over the jury hearing the divorce case in the next court room.

  14. GOPCrusher

    [re=637487]Chernobyl Soup[/re]: Exactly.
    It would be worth seeing that crooked bastard get off, just to hear the pop, pop, pop of Wingnut heads exploding.

  15. chaste everywhere

    [re=637515]Extemporanus[/re]: Or the long-awaited sequel, Seven Brides for Twelve Angry Mehs.

Comments are closed.