RUMORS ON THE INTERNETS  5:29 pm August 11, 2010

Fragonard is America’s New Norman Rockwell

by Benjamin Frisch

  • Now that Michelle Antoinette is officially Spain’s hottest monarch, her husband King Obama XIV is spending all his cash on lavish Rococo pursuits like sex swings and “health care.” Luckily, the Reign Of Terror is coming back soon, so it’s all good. [The Telegraph]
  • Erick Erickson loves guns so much he would literally murder Bambi’s mother to prove to everyone that Michael Steele is a pansy for not loving guns as much as Erick Erickson. [RedState]
  • The film The Road is basically the Green Berets of our time because it is a religious allegory about bootstrapping the apocalypse, for Jesus. [BigHollywood]
  • The UN continues its unstoppable march into our children’s hearts via the malevolent “International Baccalaureate” curriculum, all for the nefarious purpose of preparing our young ones for something called “college.” [WND]
  • A new film brings to light the fact that the cold war is still on, because Hugh Hefner is Stalin. [Canada Free Press]
 

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 25 comments }

chascates August 11, 2010 at 5:40 pm

Thank God for the new NDM-1 superbug, coming to us from India & Pakistan. Soon we’ll all have incurable bacterial diseases and won’t have to worry about this petty shit.

GOPCrusher August 11, 2010 at 5:50 pm

Obviously the BigHollywood reviewer didn’t grasp the real message of The Book Of Eli.

comicbookguy August 11, 2010 at 5:59 pm

Yes! Another Green Berets reference. This new movie will rally the country to the conservative cause just like John Wayne rallied the country to support the Vietnam war in 1968.

Kudos to the first commenter, recommending Kick Ass as a great conservative movie.

As for Red State, meh, it’s no “violence at the polls”

freetzy August 11, 2010 at 6:00 pm

I read that Telegraph thing. Who amongst us hasn’t quoted an older blog post in our current blog post? Also, I’m glad that the Telegraph sent someone who is obviously a virgin in order to remove any threat of more pasty anchor babies on our soil.

chascates August 11, 2010 at 6:02 pm

Dan Rostenkowski expiration date: 8/11/2010

Tim August 11, 2010 at 6:08 pm

We already knew that all vacuous apocalypse pornos were Christian allegories, didn’t we?

DC Hates Me August 11, 2010 at 6:14 pm

Everyday is Apocalypse Day at Uncle Sam’s House of Stupid. Darwin and the fall of the Berlin Wall wuz evil, ya know?

Guppy06 August 11, 2010 at 6:19 pm

“Judi McLeod is an award-winning journalist with 30 years experience in the print media. A former Toronto Sun columnist, she also worked for the Kingston Whig Standard. Her work has appeared on Rush Limbaugh, Newsmax.com, Drudge Report, Foxnews.com, and Glenn Beck”

Well there ya go.

DustBowlBlues August 11, 2010 at 6:37 pm

Who gives a shit? Here’s a real news tip, “my” wonkette: Ever since the Republics took over the senate and the House of Reps in OK, we have had freakish weather here in the Dust Bowl. Apocalyptic (see, on point) ice storms last winter–one that really took the Christ out of Xmas–and now a literal hellscape.

104 degrees today, my wonkeratti friends. For those of you in the developed world, that’s 40!!!!! God is punishing the Republics and the Democrats are collateral damage.

Potater August 11, 2010 at 6:41 pm

Ha-ha, Erickson is joking, hehehe, that heeeeee, he’ll, heeeeee, shoot reporters. It’s so, ahyuk ahyuk, funny, I almost forgot he was a certifiable sociopath, ahuh huh huh.

Mr Blifil August 11, 2010 at 6:42 pm

If you are going to invoke Fragonard please have the decency to put up one of the nice man’s pictures for us to look at. Thank you.

DustBowlBlues August 11, 2010 at 6:42 pm

As to Red State: Those right wing freaks sure do go for long sig lines don’t they?

DoktorZoom August 11, 2010 at 6:50 pm

Love the comments at BigHollywood, all vying to prove their conservative cred by decrying the ideological failings of the movies listed–The Road isn’t explicitly Christian enough, and Book of Eli suggests that the Quran might be considered a holy book just like the Bible. It’s like a bunch of music bloggers trying to out-indie each other.

dijetlo August 11, 2010 at 6:52 pm

This Fragonard fellow was apparently some sort of purveyor of 18th century “up skirt” pornography!

That said, I find myself both mildly titillated and slightly better educated. Well done, young Benjamin.

FlownOver August 11, 2010 at 7:00 pm

“Her work has appeared on Rush Limbaugh, Newsmax.com, Drudge Report, Foxnews.com, and Glenn Beck.”

SAY…NO…MORE!!!

Toomush Infermashun August 11, 2010 at 7:19 pm

“This U.N. curriculum is extremely hostile to Christians. It’s hostile to American values and ideas and very big on humanism, redistribution of wealth, and very big on pluralism and that all religions are equal,” Howse told WND.”

Yeah, how dare they – humanism, redistribution of wealth, and pluralism – so anti-Christian…where did they get these ideas, the Gospels?…

Mahousu August 11, 2010 at 8:45 pm

[re=637061]Toomush Infermashun[/re]: Oh, my, it gets worse: The report says Latin students “… will discuss the impact on the Roman world, as well as their own, of such topics as women’s rights, slavery and national imperialism.”

If the U.N. succeeds in poisoning the minds of our Latin students about how great slavery and national imperialism were, then game’s over. (I’m a little confused about how women’s rights got in there. It was probably supposed to read “women’s lack of rights.”)

Lionel Hutz Esq. August 11, 2010 at 9:53 pm

Erick, son of Erick, you know, they have penis enlargement surgery now days. Sure, there would be hair on the shaft, but you won’t have these fantasies.

Or, are you simply saying that you would rather be married to a partner that had a big gun on them?

[re=637057]FlownOver[/re]: I wonder if it has appeared anywhere literate people would find out about it.

SayItWithWookies August 11, 2010 at 10:41 pm

It’s interesting that the conservative top five new films on DVD include two post-apocalyptic action movies, one with allegedly daringly realistic portrayals of Muslim terrorists, a cop movie (wherein men are allowed to express moral confusion), and an Iraq war/chick-flick saga. Or, basically, their idealized Bush administration.

AddHomonym August 12, 2010 at 1:59 am

Funny, “International Baccalaureate” sounds like a term that might apply to Hugh Hefner, and if so, could a sex swing be far away? (As for Green Berets and Michael Steele, I’m sure they could work into that scenario somehow.)

PrimlyStable August 12, 2010 at 5:49 am

I like the way the guy from the Telegraph uses a quote from a mainstream media columnist as the basis of the entire blogpost and the headline, but then immediately claims that Queen Michelle of Spain’s vacation plans have been “largely ignored by the liberal-dominated mainstream media”.

Geogre August 12, 2010 at 6:53 am

Whoa! I taught International Baccalaureate program — even went to a conference and got a certificate. I am a socialist,[1] too.

Coincidence?

1
Socialism predates Marx, succeeds best in small communities imbued with religious principles, and is confined to economic matters. It does not mean what Glenn Beck thinks it means.

Geogre August 12, 2010 at 7:01 am

[re=637105]SayItWithWookies[/re]: Actually, it was the Christian allegory that bugged me about The Road — and the fact that, in a nuclear apocalypse the first casualty is the apostrophe. It was obvious enough for the “post-Christian” readership (which means a bunch of people who call themselves Christian, but who don’t read any books, including ‘the book of Eli’), and yet it was brutish. What the author was doing was one thing — a conservatory moral — but it was set free for troglodytes to grab and grunt in approval of.

I.e. it has the same problem as A Clockwork Orange: inside the literary context, it’s a meditation on free will and whether moral good is possible without the capacity for evil. Outside, it’s a cool movie about rape and junk.

mumblyjoe August 12, 2010 at 7:07 am

[re=637083]Mahousu[/re]: It’s true! And in the Bible, Jebus and the rest of the good guys had a huge boner for the Romans all the time, so clearly any discussion of Rome should focus on how [i]awesome[/i] the things Rome did were, by the wingnuts’ own logic.

Seriously, I have no idea why we’re supposed to hate the idea of discussing history in the context of modern-day issues. On the other hand, I also remember in how in high school, my classmates giggled when I called the Trail of Tears an act of ethnic cleansing, so clearly, I’m out of touch with (smarter than) the average Real Amer’kin, who “gets it” (the average idiot, who is an idiot).

Zorg August 12, 2010 at 3:45 pm

[re=637055]dijetlo[/re]: In Eighteenth Century Europe, women did not wear underpants because that was a male garment and thus was a form of religiously forbidden cross dressing. I hope that bit of sartorial history gets you from “mildly titillated” to fapping vigorously to this wonderful Fragonard.

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