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Only $19.95 at WalmartsWelcome to this week’s edition of Burn Yer Queeran, where we round up the headlines about America’s ongoing and deserved war against those pesky Allah fanboys and fangirls. To enhance your reading experience, print out and hold onto a copy of this photo of a Christ Palin shrine sent in by anonymous tipster “Paula Abdulaziz,” put on your earphones, and tune in to 9-11 FM. OK, here we go!

  • The American Family Association wingnut crew doesn’t want any more mosques built in these Christian United States ever again, because “each Islamic mosque is dedicated to the overthrow of the American government.” The AFA also wants to take away the muslins’ First Amendment freedoms and prohibit them from using coupons at the supermarket, because they are funded with boatloads of Saudi money and therefore should pay the full retail price.
  • Newsweek’s running a “Mosques in America” photo gallery with all kinds of new pictures of obese white people wearing American flag shirts and holding “Islam is crap” and “Barack Akbar” placards. The slide show is part of a package that comes with Fareed Zakaria’s essay “No More Awards for Me, I’m Full,” and an article about a new reality show starring the Taliban.
  • Christian Post guest columnist and former Nixon pal Chuck Colson says that building the Ground Zero mosque “would be like the Japanese building a Shinto shrine at Pearl Harbor!” Except the Japanese would never do that now, because they aren’t jerks anymore.
  • The Anti-Islamic bus is coming to your town! Unless it’s not, but you can request one.
  • Did you hear that professional Gregalogue author Greg Gutfeld went on the Glenn Beck Variety Show and announced his plan to build a Muselman-friendly gay bar named “Suspicious Packages” next to the Lower Manhattan mega-mosque? OK, now you have.
  • Speaking of the Ground Zero mosque, did your inbox intercept the e-announcement about the upcoming Ground Zero mega-mosque? It looks like this:
    why are there scare quotes around ground zero?

See you there, Akbar Husssein El-Ramadamadingdongs. [American Family Association/Newsweek/Christian Post/Christian Science Monitor/The Daily Gut]

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