america's greatest election

Liveblogging Whatever States Are Having These Primaries, Part IV

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No idea, really.Can you feel the pulsing excitement? It is a primary night, one of only sixty or so Primary Tuesdays this year, so far. Anderson Cooper has a special report on the Jet Blue flight attendant who just HAD IT with his job/people/etc., and Fox News has Bill O’Reilly talking about, uh, Rudy Giuliani? With some news anchor gals with the blonde helmet hair? Only your Wonkette is following these election things, along with the famous warblog The Politico and maybe a part of the Rachel Maddow show (which is a repeat from earlier today?), and the Nation’s Great Journalistic Institutions (local newspaper websites) are, as usual, “taking the night off.” So who will make up the Conventional Wisdom so Slate will have something to counter-intuitively write about next week? Let’s liveblog the final slog with special guests in the form of “whatever the hell people are saying on Twitter, about the elections.”

12:11 AM — It’s always 9:11 somewhere, though.
12:11 AM — Speaking of, this New Yorker piece about the “Ground Zero Terror Mosque-Disco” is actually worth reading even if you don’t want to hear another word about this nutbag white trash crusade against some people in a big liberal city full of gay foreign liberals.
12:13 AM — Once th

12:31 AM — Uh, what happened? We lost ALL (both) of our computers here in the Late Night Newsroom at the same time. We managed to get a screenshot of the anal assault:

Actual thing that just happened.

12:34 AM — And this is one of those very rare occasions when we’re glad nobody’s really reading the Wonkette.
12:40 AM — Can we go back in time and remember, together, how Andrew Romanoff was/is a jackass?
12:44 AM — Because if there was a Sleazebag Story in the 2010 Colorado primary season to beat all the rest, it was this Romanoff dude.
Yeah it's Romanoff!12:49 AM — But now it’s time to heal, by writing about our old friend Ned Lamont, who lost again.
12:50 AM — Ned, as you may recall, was our Blog Hero several years ago, when he bravely ran against rancid old maid Joe Lieberman. And then Lieberman won, anyway, as an “Independent.” And then your Wonkette rode around on a bus with Lamont, exactly as foretold in Tom Wolfe’s The Electric Kool-Aid Acid Test, and now Ned has lost again, in his bid to become governor of that tragic state, Connecticut.

Jim Newell took this picture, god rest his soul.

12:55 AM — “Liberal favorites fall as Ga. waits,” says the Politico, which tried to have chat-roulette sexytime with our work computer in the middle of liveblogging. Come on, Mike Allen, learn some basic manners. (Sexytime is *after* the primary.)
12:56 AM — Ugh, that albino marionette Hugh Hewitt is on the CNN repeat for some reason. Did the RedState wingnut hurt his back shooting at census workers or whatever?
1:15 AM — Well, that is enough, isn’t it? We have to be back at this desk in six hours. ugh.

Sponsored Intermission

About the author

A writer and editor of this website from 2006 to early 2012, Ken Layne is occassionally seen on Twitter and writes small books and is already haunting you from beyond (your) grave.

View all articles by Ken Layne


Hey there, Wonkeputians! Shypixel here to remind you to remember our Commenting Rules For Radicals, Enjoy!

  • WindbagCity

    Two Part III’s- tonight is truly the Godfather (or perhaps Revenge of the Sith?) of primaries!

  • Ye Olde Fap-Smith

    Down here in GA the mongoloid-hillfolk are breaking out the cases of Natty Light to celebrate ol’ Nathan Bedford Deal’s triumph over Palin’s circus clown, Handel. I can’t wait for King Roy to trounce these Tea Bagger motherfuckers. On that fateful Nov. night I will trade in my usual faggy-Euro beer and gambol about the downtown parts of my horrible city draining filthy Messican cervezas, just to rub salt in these anus bastard’s hideously misshapen faces.

  • bago

    Nobody noticed that the “Digging into the secret tranny past of the teacher that talked to Palin update had two part II’s, so he’s just stone cold rolling with the media flow.

  • jagorev

    Thanks for your brave work, livebloggers.

  • iburl

    “…nutbag white trash crusade…”

    I LOVE the Power Team too!

    Jesus makes them inflate hot water bottles, break handcuffs, smash cinder blocks, and tear phonebooks for our faith.

    Not unlike a certain other Jesus who is getting a new reality show in Alaska!

    EXCITED to see someone who is on the path to a major party vice-presidential nomination in a few short years!

    I guess we will need to change the constitution to allow him to serve under 35, but we are getting a new 14th one pretty soon, so it’s a cinch!

    God bless America’s military who’s fightin’ for the constitutional freedoms of Americans! Not TEACHERS!!

  • Enslave the Whales

    [re=636326]Ye Olde Fap-Smith[/re]: What can I possibly say to that except “Best Wishes”?

  • Enslave the Whales

    [re=636338]Enslave the Whales[/re]: Oh, and “Have a Negra Modelo” for me.

    Actually, if it happens, I may fly out and buy you several.

  • obfuscator

    hewhewwit is a miserable old whore.

  • Ye Olde Fap-Smith

    [re=636340]Enslave the Whales[/re]: I would bet Mother Fap-Smith’s life insurance on Roy Barnes beating Deal in the election down here. As sad as it is to say, his “lets-make-GA-not-look-fucking-insane-ads” have been winning over the local mongs. The spot features a lovely speech on why we should not pass anymore laws about banning the hypothetical implantation of microchips into humans if we want international comps. to locate to our fetid state. The ads seem to have won him some tepid support among our freakshow-geek, right-wing brothers/sisters. Make sure your cc is all paid up when you fly down, as I can run up quite the tab!

  • BarackMyWorld
  • Ye Olde Fap-Smith

    [re=636348]BarackMyWorld[/re]: I have seen Deal’s signs and no matter how much mescaline I drop I cannot make sense of them. The Dali exhibit I viewed on Monday at the High on Peachtree was a lot more clear in meaning.

  • Suds McKenzie

    Wow, Coast to Coast Wonkette coverage. All three time zones (fuck off Mountain Time,.. you know what you did).

    Does this mean we will get a Ken Layne Hologram for the real thing?

  • Enslave the Whales

    [re=636344]Ye Olde Fap-Smith[/re]: You know, I haven’t been to GA since 1970. Early November would probably be okay, eh? I’d love to be there to watch the Deal go down. Where you at?

  • Ye Olde Fap-Smith

    [re=636355]Enslave the Whales[/re]: The state has become more clown-infested since then. I’m from Savannah.

  • Smoke Filled Roommate

    [re=636348]BarackMyWorld[/re]: Purse is to Handel’s ‘baggage’ as Palin is to lipstick, with a little bit of Margaret Spellings thrown in for the guys. Fuck, now I’m more confused.

  • DC Hates Me

    I don’t know how many lipstick wearing transsexuals will be voting for crazy homophobe bigot Nathan Deal, but I’m guessing none.

  • Geogre

    [re=636326]Ye Olde Fap-Smith[/re]: Yes, well, let’s wait and see.

    Brace for commercials, beginning today, of “I’m a pore wite former, un I lowst everthin when thait commanist Barnes taxed my form away frum me.” Next one: “Owah grandfathas fawt and died fah thaya country, and Roy Bahns disgraced their memory by changing the state flag to kowtow to Washington liberals! We in the Daughters of the Confederacy do not trust him.”

    Repeat, ad infinitum.

  • Geogre

    For those of you who do not know, Roy Barnes (D), the nominee for governor in Georgia, was the first to “change the flag.”

    The 1953 flag for the State of Georgia put a giant Stars and Bars on the field. Barnes changed it, but he got a commission and artists to come up with a design. The resulting new flag was a disaster by all accounts and every criterion. His successor, a Republican, changed it again, but he changed it to the pre-1954 flag (which was fine).

    Trust me: there are signs all around, still, about “carpet baggers” changing the flag.

  • Oblios Cap


    I’m almost glad be be in Florida when I hear that shit. I don’t visit the I-4 corridor unless I have to, though. It’s too depressing.

  • Texan Bulldoggette

    Please say I’m not the only Wonkette who knows that picture is Emily in the Thomas the Tank Engine stories. (She’s pure & sweet–not sure Wonkette should be soiling her!)

  • JadedDIssonance

    [re=636330]iburl[/re]: The Power Team also lays on beds of nails for Jesus!

  • Mad Farmer Manifest

    [re=636412]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]: You aren’t the only one. (Hides head in shame.)