How are things in McDonaldland, USA? Pretty bad, we bet! Here’s the “State of the Union,” as video-recorded by a robot camera over the McDonald’s drive-thru somewhere. (Oh and your Wonkette has an “arrangement” with this news-video company, so whatever commercial you suffer through is actually sending a little money to your Wonkette writers who also need their fucking McNuggets, fuckers.)

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  1. I can hardly wait to see what will happen a few years from now when she hears her monthly Social Security check is no longer available.

  2. no happy meal for the little lady.

    and wonkette, you’re going positively bbc on us now, with commercials and all.

    diss ist der part uff der schau ver vee tantz!

  3. See? THIS is why we can’t have the McRib. Lightweights who can’t handle their sugar, fat and rectum are ruining it for the rest of us.

  4. I was all ready to forgive you a little whoring to line the bottom of the Wonkette coffers until that whoring turned out to be an advertisement for the Jonas Brothers concert.

  5. She no can haz mcnuggitz?

    Wonkette haz sold out?

    I best stop here before I find myself banned for making one cliched reference too many . . .

  6. Not sure which wuz loonier–the McDouche video or the Jonas Brutahs are cumming ad. Ken, you do know it is still the morning out here on the left coast and a bit early for this sort stuff.

  7. “She did not slide down the emergency chute out of the plane, though.”

    I don’t get it. What does that even mean? But I did watch the video twice because I wasn’t sure I heard what I heard, so ca-ching, Wonkette!

  8. I see no hope for America’s future after viewing both the Jonas Bros with SPECIAL secret sauce, I mean guest, and crazy woman beating up drive thru window for crappy assed greased hunks o’chickun droppings.

    Drop the effin’ bomb and spare us the Levi Snowjobs Wasilly campaign.

  9. We will only use these commercial videos when we cannot find the HISTORICAL IMPORTANT news clip on the youtubez … although the youtubez increasingly have pre-roll commercials, too, but they don’t Share the Pennies with yr wonkette.

  10. Meh to McNuggets lady, but I’m now on my fifth viewing of Justin Bieber being hit in the head with a water bottle. If I watch it long enough, will he bleed?

  11. [re=635708]jus_wonderin[/re]: I sat through the Jonas Bros two times because I thought it would help Teh Wonkette. I hope I am right.

  12. [re=635784]weejee[/re]: Good to know that the Important Network News Anchor showing us a YouTube video assumes we will get his reference to some other YouTube video. Edward R. Murrow would be proud.

  13. [re=635819]Ken Layne[/re]: BTW, my earlier post wuz not complaining ’bout ‘vertizements in general – just, gag, the Jonas Bros in the particular. I knows even the kittie bishop can’t control everything.

  14. [re=635824]Doglessliberal[/re]: Same, just flew back to C’Addle from Denver with two teeny soccer teams who thought the call buttons were so LOLz until the crew mentioned the DB Cooper memorial exit (sans p’chute) would be for the next pushee.

  15. Did she break the window with a bottle of beer? Crazy hophead hongray for McNuggets! Little did she know that the McSkillet Breakfast Burrito is a fine accompaniment to morning drinking, perhaps more fulfilling than even McNuggets, IMHO.

    Internet Usage is Logged & Monitored
    Why is this site blocked?
    Websites are blocked or allowed by category per AFNetOps NTO 2009-087-001.”

    Advertising fail. Can I paypal you a nickel?

  17. I feel better knowing others got the Jonas Brothers ad. I thought it was chosen for me especially; that the ad server somehow knew I’m a pervy old cretin who enjoys watching teenagers sashay about.

  18. I am covered in (golden brown delicious)shame, because this happened in the place of my birth, Toledo (pro. “Tow-leeee-do”), Ohio. (Not “Tow-lay-do” where they make the Spanish blades and stuff.)

  19. The Jonas brothers look as if they need to get laid.

    The girl at the McWindow is doing 60 days hopefully this will help her kick her meth habit. However, I can see the meth habit returning as she does live in Toledo.

  20. Cognitive dissonance: attempting to attack workers through drive-in window when it is just as feasible to enter the front door, leap over the counter and start dunking heads in the fryolator. Points to her for lacking normal self-preservation instincts and stone cold punching a hole in a glass window with her bare fist. That is the kind of initiative we are going to have to become more accustomed to if America is going to compete in the new century.

    And why is it the older I get, the more I fantasize about finger-banging young teenage performers? When I was an actual young teenager, and actually engaging in the practice of actually finger banging other actual teenagers, I don’t think I was so single-mindedly preoccupied.

  21. [re=635966]Merkin[/re]: As my good friend Jon Anderson once sang, “Toledo was just another stop along the good king’s highway/My fortification took me by surprise and hit me sending me sideways…” Obviously Yes were fans of McNuggets.

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