Rand Paul is absolutely livid about GQ’s big scoop about how Rand Paul used to be in a goofy secret society and smoke pot and one time they allegedly kidnapped this gal. This is because he has an exclusive contract contract with Details, which is the only men’s lifestyle magazine that is allowed to publish embarrassing things about Rand Paul. How would libertarian heroes like Ayn Rand or Somali warlord Yusuf Ahmed Hagar Dabageed have dealt with this situation? Presumably they would have trusted the “invisible hand” of the market to guide intelligent readers towards publications with greater dedication to the truth. Does Rand Paul follow in the footsteps of these greats?
No, he plans to let the robed dictators of the fascist judiciary do his fighting for him.
“We are investigating all our options — including legal ones,” Rand Paul spokesman Jesse Benton emails [the Washington Post]. “We will not tolerate drive by Journalism by a writer with a leftist agenda.”
Enjoy jawing with a bunch of lawyers and watching the police enforce the judgement of the courts, sell-out!
But perhaps we are being too harsh? It’s possible that Benton is contrasting the legal options that the Rand camp might take with the illegal actions that they will definitely take — actions like, say, blindfolding and kidnapping GQ “drive by Journalist” Jason Zengerle and forcing him to ingest illegal narcotics and engage in pagan water-worshipping rituals.
Paul still has not directly addressed the most explosive revelation in the GQ piece: that people used to call him “Randy” when he was in college. [WP]
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I don’t know what he’s upset about, he went up a few notches in my estimation when I heard he committed actual schoolboy stoned-out-of-gourd pranks.
engage in pagan water-worshipping rituals
Golden showers?
He’ll probably end up creating his own country to run for office in; no failure that way.
[re=635764]weejee[/re]: The AquaBuddha demands more Golden Showers.
At the risk of sounding like a Paultard, don’t Libertarians need the courts to process their beloved torts? Like when Judge Wapner tells Cletus that he shoulda done kept that ol’ hydrophobic hound in a fenced yard, rather than let it roam the neighborhood to bite children?
That figures: Rand Paul finds accusations of having a sense of humor to be libelous. The only acceptable college misadventures for Republicans are plagiarism, casual racism, and misogyny. But blasphemy? That’s defamation of character.
[re=635764]weejee[/re]: ♫ ♫
Golden showers fill your eyes
Smiles await you when you rise…
Drive-by journalism? Using a keyboard instead of an AK-47?
Uh huh. For a libertarian, Rand Paul seems to be a bit of a wuss…
But but but I thought everything was free, man…
Oh yeah, if the Libertarians ever successfully (a word foreign to most if not all Libertarians) get their vision of Libertaridia off the ground we know it is going to end badly with their fat angry followers dancing around their heads on pikes.
WWARD
What Would Ayn Rand Do?
Way to keep the story alive beyond its natural life cycle, good going.
I’m wondering if the NRSC bothering to ask Paul if he did anything blasphemous before cutting an ad trashing Jack Conway for using a naughty, albeit PG-13 rated, word at a church pinic.
[re=635777]SmutBoffin[/re]: Yup, most Paultards are only willing to pay for the courts, and the police to enforce property rights. Some of the more Liberals members of the tribe are willing to spring for the guy with the cart and the bell who wanders the streets yelling “Bring out yer dead” but the rest of them think that’s “statist”.
BTW, Nice Yusuf Ahmed Hagar Dabageed reference, Josh.
Oh great — I’ve always wanted to know what drive-by journalism is. Unless it’s just stuff the subject doesn’t like, in the same way that activist judges are ones whose decide stuff you don’t like. Because that would be horribly lame and self-serving, not to mention overly sensitive for someone who aspires to public office. If he had a lick of sense, Rand Paul would hire a screaming crowd to stand outside his office every day calling him a Nazi, a socialist, a foreigner, a baby-killer and a terrorist, just to get used to it.
Somebody needs to tell Rand that “drive by Journalism” is so last week. The preferred disparaging term is “LSM.”
Rand, I implore you, check the flags in the courtroom for UNITED NATIONS GOLD ADMIRALTY FRINGE.
Like any true libertarian Randy draws the line a freedom of speech.
[re=635779]doxastic[/re]: Don’t forget hazing, ritual sodomy and using roofies for date rape. Republicans call those harmless college pranks loving their frat brothers and finding the wife. Also, it wouldn’t surprise me given Rand Paul’s views on civil rights if he didn’t take the private initiative to drug and enslave some poor random black person…racism dogs the Paul’s like idiocy dogs the Palins, afterall.
[re=635801]SayItWithWookies[/re]: Right and Republicans are incredibly thin skinned far and away more than other pols. I watch (shameless teevee show shillz coming) Real Time with Bill Maher and the most hilarious shows I’ve seen usually involve either some wingnut being peevish or Chris Hitchens being a drunken asshole. I remember when J-Go (as in go away) was on the show after he wrote “Liberal Fascism”, I thought he’d cry every time Bush was called an idiot. If memory serves he walked out during “New Rules” presumably because Bill Maher wasn’t kissing Bush’s funyun ring.
I like how Randy’s spokesman attacks the reporter and his motives, but says nothing about whether or not the allegations are true.
This is easily solved by market forces. If the story is true, the publication will prosper. If it is false, it will immediately go bankrupt, the writer will float, and then he must get stoned.
[re=635777]SmutBoffin[/re]: “At the risk of sounding like a Paultard, don’t Libertarians need the courts to process their beloved torts?”
All contract disputes will be resolved through fair and mandatory mediation through totally unbiased mediation services. I mean, they’re certified by the mediation service professional group!
How many Ameros will Rand Paul be asking for in his suit? And will it come with pants?
I definitely don’t think they should waste the bong hits on Zengerle.
That having been said, courts are absolutely libertarian. They are enforcers of private rights, put into action by individuals in defense of those rights. For example, a libertarian might tape a conversation with TSA officials on his iphone and release it to the media, then sue, to show they were exceding the boundaries of their authority. They are not just doing it for themselves, of course, but to preserve the rights of all future, similarly situated adults. http://www.washingtontimes.com/news/2009/apr/06/tsa-detains-official-from-ron-paul-group/
However, it could also be that once the media stop bugging the campaign for a response, Dr. Paul will have the opportunity to commune with Aqua Buddha and decide to remove the additional stress from his campaign by dropping the matter.
[re=635797]Manos: Hands of Fate[/re]: I don’t think Rand Paul’s short lawsuit has legs.
Rand should ask Andrew Breitbart to look into this. Surely, there must be a tape somewhere that can be edited to make Jason Zengerle look like a racist or an ACORN welfare cheat.
They called him Randy? I thought they called him Rue.
[re=635916]lawrenceofthedesert[/re]: They called him their bitch.
I think we’re missing the point – the quote was: drive by journalism by a WRITER WITH A LEFTIST AGENDA…because, as a libertarian, writers with a rightest agenda are ok, of course…therefore, any slurs to the effect that he’s a little comedian in short pants are not wide of the mark..
Hehehehehe, Libertarians and Republiklans. All about the tort reform and stopping unnecessary lawsuits, aren’t they?
Shouldn’t he just let the market solve this problem?
There’s no better way to snuff out a public relations problem than initiating a long, drawn-out, tortured legal proceeding involving First Amendment issues. Give it 4 or 5 years and it will all blow over.
seslipanel http://www.kalitepanel.com
I am a little bit concerned by this “invisible hand of the market”. Weren’t we just bitchslapped to hell by that same hand?????
There’s an easy solution to this little problem! Mr. Zengerle, the journalist in question, should immediately form his own official Board to certify truth in magazine articles. He can then certify that the article in question is the truth, and Mr. Paul, in true libertarian fashion, can then refuse to purchase said magazine.
And all is again well in Libertardia.
This is clearly an attempt on his part to educate the young woman of the Aqua Buddha’s teachings of the impermanence of the bong hit…
…”and the Aqua Buddha looked out amongst his pupils and said softly, ‘do not desire the bong hit for the bong hit is already gone’ and his pupils looked back upon him and said, ‘whoa…’ and then a drum circle was formed…
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