even better than the real thing

Sarah Palin Signs Mannequin Head Of Sarah Palin, For Democracy

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Never leave home without it.Sarah Palin flew Coldmiser Airlines all the way to Atlanta to stump for Karen Handel, her mini-me running for Georgia governor in a primary runoff against Democrat Nathan Deal. A local lady wig peddler brought down this Sarah Palin mannequin head for “the real Palin” — for does such a thing exist? — to autograph. Well, wouldn’t you do the same?

Palin used the vernacular “Hotlanta” to impress the easily-impressed crowd, and also seemed to outshine Handel with her undeniable star power, reports Thomas Wheatley of the Creative Loafing alt-weekly. (Disclosure: Wheatley is your author’s far-flung co-worker, thanks to franchising magic.) But not everyone was creaming their Pajama Jeans over the Alaskan princess: Wheatley reported that this guy wanted a refund on her autobiography. Palin had him ejected from the premises and eaten by a bear she had brought along with her, for heckler-eating purposes, and then made fun of nearby CNN, to hurt its feelings. [Creative Loafing]

About the author

Lauri works at the Chicago Reader, and also writes and makes art-pictures for Wonkette. Her creative projects—including a now-defunct blog about finding clothing in the trash and wearing it, and an exhibition of portraits of all 50 Chicago aldermen made by 50 different artists—have been featured by NBC's Today Show, the New York Times, Chicago Tribune, BUST Magazine, and other media outlets. She's written things for the Austin Chronicle, Texas Observer, In Pittsburgh Weekly, The Black Table, and other places, and taken photos for various nonprofits, bands, and publications. (She also has a law degree, for some reason.)

View all articles by Lauri Apple


Hey there, Wonkeputians! Shypixel here to remind you to remember our Commenting Rules For Radicals, Enjoy!

  • Geogre

    A real Merkin maker, that lady.

    Who knew that SaraPAC could write?

  • Texan Bulldoggette

    Hate to break it to them but that head looks more like Lisa Loeb then Snowbilly. (Not that more than 37 people in the country probably even know who Lisa Loeb is…)

  • Oblios Cap

    That mannequin head is smarter that the real Palin!

  • jus_wonderin

    I’ll autograph the real Sarah’s head with my special yellow ink.

  • Potater

    Hotlanta has the same ring to my ears as Nashvegas. Something we locals say to impress the tourists (“Look, Madge, they speak their own jive~!”) but which we hold in revulsion whenever they sidle down into the nearest tourist trap.

    Though in Palin’s case it’s more like a tourist twat, amirite fellas? Up high.

  • Johnny Zhivago

    Obligatory joke: which one is the dummy?

  • chascates

    Grisly Mama posts o n her Facebook page her retort to this YouTube business about teh ‘eye-rollin’:

    The LSM has now decided to use this brief encounter for another one of their spin operations. They claim I – wait for it – “appear to roll my eyes” when the lady tells me she’s a teacher. Yes, it’s come to this: the media is now trying to turn my eyebrow movements into story lines.

  • weejee

    Love Tom Price’s pompadour. Will he do the back soon in a DA?

  • JMP

    Well, of course the dummy head is better than the real thing, because it doesn’t keep chattering on mindless catchphrases and talking points with an incredibly annoying voice.

    [re=635638]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]: Oh, I think most of us who went to school in the 90s should remember her hit.

  • Carrabuda

    Sarah always did get a head of herself.

  • Suds McKenzie

    I’ll monitor her FB page for the mannequin rebuttal later this afternoon.

  • queeraselvis v 2.0

    Sarah’s best advice to Karen Handel really should be to lay off the cherpumples. Bless her heart, also.

  • freakishlystrong

    [re=635645]chascates[/re]: Uh..wow her ego has self realized. Poor Sarah, the “LSM”, (Jesus Christ), got it right, you DID roll your eyes and look very knowingly at your gum chomping spawn when your detractor said she was a teacher. Own it.

  • jus_wonderin

    Why do I feel sorry for the mannequin?

  • just pixels

    [re=635645]chascates[/re]: She also talks about how two people can “respectfully disagree” in America. That’s why I’m going to tell my boss he doesn’t have any cojones later today, in a respect disagreeing kind of way.

    Thanks Sarah! for raising the level of discourse.

  • Prommie

    [re=635638]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]: Isn’t she the one who invented kissing girls?

  • Prommie

    [re=635638]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]: I saw Lisa Loeb play on the beach, she was followed by Dramarama. Mojo Nixon was the MC. A cavalcade of forgottens.

  • rmjag

    [re=635664]jus_wonderin[/re]: because it didn’t deserve any of this .

  • smitallica

    Just finish the danged mosque!

  • jus_wonderin

    I predict, in the future, we will all look back on the Sarah years and stop laughing.

  • edgydrifter

    [re=635671]Prommie[/re]: And made it sound adorable instead of weird-n-stompy?

  • Texan Bulldoggette

    [re=635649]JMP[/re]: [re=635671]Prommie[/re]: I saw her here in Austin at the Back Yard (she opened up for Lyle Lovett). I also watched her stupid short-lived teevee show about how she was looking for love. Anyhoot, as a sweet Jewish girl, I assume she would be horrified to be mentioned in the same breath as Snowbilly.

  • Bordo

    I’m going to go out on a limb here and say that I’ll bet the mannequin head speaks better English than $arah Palin.

  • Extemporanus

    Man, what the hell happened to Andrew McCarthy?! He looks like a menopausal lesbian mall walker on St. Paddy’s Day.

    Let this serve as a lesson to aspiring actors everywhere: Never let Hollywood give you a little head.

  • respite

    Does it come with a string in the back of its head, or is it more remote controlled? Although in the picture, it looks like Green Hat Lady has her hand up it’s butt.

    Also, when are they going on sale nationwide?

  • SayItWithWookies

    [re=635664]jus_wonderin[/re]: Why do I feel sorry for the mannequin?

    You sholdn’t — the mannequin doesn’t have to listen to Sarah talk.

  • jus_wonderin

    Geez, where were you mannequin head when McCain was looking for a running mate???!!! Damn you!!!!

  • comicbookguy

    If Sarah Palin’s Mannequin doesn’t have its own facebook and twitter account by the end of the day, I’m going to be very disappointed in teh wonkette readers.

    I would love to see them do the “you’re the dummy” routine, or maybe the 13th floor of the department store twilight zone episode.

  • oh hi mark

    Sarah Palin, Handel’s Messiah.

  • comicbookguy

    [re=635722]respite[/re]: It comes with a remote control, but the off button is broken.

    [re=635675]Prommie[/re]: If you don’t know mojo nixon then you’re store could use some fixin

  • UncleTom

    Someone needs to tell Sarah that in Atlanta “Hotlanta” was better known as a gay circuit party called the Hotlanta River Expo; traditionally held this time of year Think drag-queenes, party-boys & bears all in short-shorts floating down the Chatahoochee river with lots of disco-dancing in your underwear thrown in for good measure and you have a good idea of what Hotlanta is about.

  • Winski

    This kind of follows the phenomenon that Tina Fey actually looks more like the OLD Swag-Hag (two years ago) before all the ‘professionals’ got hold of her than the Swag-Hag looks like herself !!

    Nothing seems to matter to anyone in this entourage because of their base-line stupidity, but they keep roiling the dumbed-down-meat-market types right along for the ride… amazing..

    Howard Fineman over at Newsweek was right…



    If I were going to have Sarah sign a body part, the head would not be my first choice.

  • Extemporanus

    [re=635671]Prommie[/re]: [re=635680]edgydrifter[/re]: I believe you’re thinking of Jill Sobule.

    She played at my club back in the mid-90s — it was a Tuesday, she was on keytar, some dude who doubled as her roadie on drums, and five alcoholic activist bull dykes and a bartender were the entirety of her audience. I spent the entire depressing set in the bathroom doing blow and beating off.

    I saw her again a few years ago at the TED conference — she performed a rather enjoyable little acoustic act with SNL-alumn and cancer survivor Julia Sweeney. I ran into both of them afterwards, and even though I reminded her of the aforementioned “killer” show, she still was sweet enough to give me a little kiss and an autograph. (Alas, not on my head — I’d foolishly left it back at the hotel.)

  • Oblios Cap

    The Sarah Palin disembodied mannequin head that will live on throughout the ages belonged to one Dianne Moore, a McDonough resident who told me she sells “Raquel Welch wigs” at her wig shop. The former vice-presidential candidate signed the head. Moore was very happy.

    So, dianne Moore doesn’t give good heads?

  • Sharkey

    [re=635664]jus_wonderin[/re]: It now has a major hookworm infestation.

  • S.Luggo

    Close, but not see-gar. The teeth aren’t filed to points.

  • ewilson

    Deal and Handel are in a Republican runoff today, not Democrat. Roy Barnes won the Democratic nomination. Sack full of ugh all around with Deal and Handel trying to out-homophobe one another.

  • Jumping Jim

    [re=635841]ewilson[/re]: The only thing worse than Handel would be if Deal wins. I hope Roy Barnes trashes either of them, but I have no doubt that the combination of neanderturds in south Georgia and te reactionaries that are in Cobb and Forsyth County will give us as governor someone even more numbing then our current ex football playing, bass fishing, land deal self – opportunistic, water feuding gov’nor Sonny Perdue.

  • Toomush Infermashun

    forget autograph – talking points!…

  • PlanetWingnuta

    i just wonder who’;s gonna steal that head and give it the what for…

  • Bearbloke

    Bring Me the Mannequin Head Of Sarah Palin… with a fleshlight mounted in the mouth, and another in the back of the head so I can fuck her brains out!

    [re=635835]S.Luggo[/re] can have this model…

  • GOPCrusher

    [re=635841]ewilson[/re]: Thanks for fixing that. I was having a major confused about Bible Spice stumping for a Democratic candidate.

  • rocktonsammy

    Real celebrities sign autographs.

    And roll their eyes.

    And go to rehab also.

  • AutomaticPilot

    [re=635691]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]: Great, now I’ve got that song “I Do” stuck in my head…

  • Malketeer


  • just pixels

    Nice to see the head of the Republican Party out among the people.

  • just pixels

    As I suspected, she has no cojones.

  • just pixels

    Looks another sale going on at Old Navy.

  • just pixels

    Tell it you’re a teacher and see if it rolls its eyes.

  • just pixels

    Looks someone got a little head from Caribou Barbie.

  • just pixels

    She sure looks like a heartless bitch.

  • just pixels

    I think she looks a lot like Marie Antoinette.

  • Maynah

    Betcha there’s a passal of repugs getting boners thinking about owning that head.

  • just pixels

    She gives a great stump speech.

  • just pixels

    When Palin puts her heads together, she’s almost a full-wit.