Creepy Guy In Van Has Ideas For Killing Everyone

  euthanasia the illegal alien

Pedobear probably included.
Illegal Mexicans took all our jobs! For example, somebody who doesn’t even speak English got the job of painting a wingnut slogan on this creepy old van abandoned in the Austin airport garage. An American wingnut could’ve earned several sacks of anus burgers painting this slogan and still screwed the language just as much in the process. Thanks to Wonkette operative Matthew V. for documenting this particular outrage.

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About the author

A writer and editor of this website from 2006 to early 2012, Ken Layne is occassionally seen on Twitter and writes small books and is already haunting you from beyond (your) grave.

View all articles by Ken Layne

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89 comments

  1. Prommie

    He got the spelling, but, the grammar, damn, its always the grammar that gets ya. And them words what don’t mean what you think they mean.

    America, fuck yeah. Kill ‘em all. Yee-haw.

  2. chascates

    Euthanize the illegal. Hang the employer. Won’t somebody please kill someone in the government? Arizona, I mean.

  3. weejee

    And I thought that Euthanasia was a Taliban organization for kids. Put on the fun-filled vest then try to hustle a candy bar from the GIs – that sort of thing.

  4. Troubledog

    I love how they only washed the part of the van they painted slogans on. Very cool. I love that ad hoc passion. But I think it’s contrived — very suspicious that they spelled euthanasia correctly.

  5. SayItWithWookies

    Apparently, Decorate Your Gas-Guzzling Rustbucket with Racist Homemade Signage Day was such a success that they’ve extended it to a whole week. Time to start making my “Racists Taste Like Chicken” sign, I guess.

  6. Prommie

    [re=635096]Troubledog[/re]: Yes, but, well, its the wrong fucking word (we were looking for “euthanize” here, and even thats not right, what he really means would be “lynch” or “murder”) so it still counts as illiterate, its just an illiterate pigfucker who is a good speller.

  7. 13ollocks To The Rules

    That’s the quintessential serial killer’s van (needs to be brown to be perfect) – however, I’m pretty sure there’s something in the “Serial Killing for Dummies” book about not drawing attention to your psychopathy by, for example, displaying it on the side of the SerialKillerMobile.

  8. jus_wonderin

    In my day van were used for peaceful purposes such as learning how to one-handedly unhook a bra strap. Here in the present they are hastily scrawled billboard space for idiotic ramblings of the deranged.

  9. doxastic

    He wanted to write “RAPE THE COLLEGE GIRLS AND TORTURE THE CHILDREN,” but Mother suggested some sly misdirection instead.

  10. Prommie

    [re=635111]jus_wonderin[/re]: Those fucking bra-straps were hell, weren’t they? But at least you knew you were in their if she helped you. I tell ya, I don’t get no respect, no respect at all, if it wasn’t for pity-fucks I woulda never got laid at all.

  11. MLM

    Yes, there really is something – ? – odd in the notion that we should sweetly and kindly euthanize an illegal alien, like a beloved elderly dog, but hang a Murican high for the crime of hiring an illegal.

  12. SmutBoffin

    [re=635111]jus_wonderin[/re]: Don’t forget their use as a canvas for Led Zepplin-inspired art!

  13. wilbro

    That belongs to the guy who hated taxes and flew his private plane into the Austin IRS building. I guess driving a van into a federal building is so 1995. Anyway, that was a one-way flight. Tow the van, peoples.

  14. bureaucrap

    So few people use “whom”; if I were a nice guy, I’d award him (let’s assume “him”) one point for at least attempting to use it; but he screwed up. On whom should we lay blame for this grammatical abortion? How about all public school boards of education?

  15. JMP

    Hey, I know Euthanasia the Illegal Alien. She’s actually married a US Citizen recently and is in the process of getting her green card, so she won’t be one for long.

  16. queeraselvis v 2.0

    [re=635106]Prommie[/re]: Also, his concept is totally wrong, since “euthanasia” = mercy killing (essentially). I seriously doubt said pigfucker is aware of this thing called “mercy.”

  17. Fred Wertham Jr.

    I don’t think I’d hang out near a windowless abandoned van with crazy slogans on it.

  18. Prommie

    [re=635120]doxastic[/re]: Give him credit, he was translating from his native language, pigfuckerese, in which it would be said “hang them ones what done hired them.”

  19. One Yield Regular

    In spite of this clever tactic, the van was still stopped at the border crossing and all 21 illegal aliens inside were arrested. The end.

  20. oh hi mark

    He’s trying to warn us about aliens disguised as Chinese, Cambodian, and Laotian children, but he didn’t know how to spell “youth in Asia.”

  21. Prommie

    [re=635124]SpenceRedux[/re]: No, no, “whom” is used when referring to the object of the sentence, here, its actually part of a defining clause, not the object, and really, he should have used “that” (“hang the person that hires them”), or at least “thems what done hired them.”

  22. Judas Peckerwood

    Any bets as to whether there’s a “What Would Jesus Do?” sticker on the bumper?

  23. ph7

    Abandoned at the same time Janet Brewer was sworn in and given access to the state’s motor pool?

  24. TheCoolestGuyInTown

    Have they figured out whom owns the van? I bet it’s a person whom likes to speak their mind and whom wants to fight against tyranny. Whom’s Tyranny? Obama’s tyranny, that’s whom. Of course Reid & Pelosi are both people whom share blame.

    Whomever has a problem with that can just find whomselves another country whom doesn’t have a problem with terrorist Mexicans. Whom’s with me?

  25. BOOBIES!

    A dark windowless van – perfect for smuggling illegal aliens into the country. The anti-immigrant nonsense is a ruse to throw off ICE.

  26. TheWaltonFirm

    Hey Ken, are these excerpts from your upcoming coffee-table book: “Beyond the Pissing Calvin: the political menace of our nations most frightening vehicles”, because that could really be a thing

  27. bitchincamaro

    [re=635143]Judas Peckerwood[/re]: On the other side it says, “IF THE VAN IS BE ROCKIN I BE LOADIN AND LOCKIN”

  28. Abe Linking Verbs

    Its a good thing he got “Euthanasia” spelled right otherwise I’d think he was advocating giving illegals free copies Megadeath’s sixth album or something.

  29. comicbookguy

    The owner of this van needs some help loading his couch. If you could just grab this end and back up inside, that’s it, a little farther…

  30. JMP

    [re=635128]queeraselvis v 2.0[/re]: Maybe we’re reading this wrong, then. Since he only speaks of one illegal alien, perhaps it’s someone he knows who’s suffering from a long term illness and he’s protesting the illegality of assisted suicide.

  31. Lionel Hutz Esq.

    [re=635104]Extemporanus[/re]: I know I would set my kids down to watch it every time it came on PBS.

  32. Dashboard_Buddha

    [re=635108]BklynIlluminati[/re]: That would be some pretty funny guerrilla painting there…especially if done in such a way that the owner didn’t notice for a while.

  33. Anonymous Office Zombie

    Hey, credit where credit is due. At least there’s a somewhat more consistent logic there (even if the logic is totally nuts). The concept that illegal alien workers wouldn’t be here if American businesses didn’t act as willing participants in the exploitation of their labor is beyond the ken of most rabid xenophobes.

  34. Rock Ripsnort

    What happened to the days of half-nekkid barbarian maidens and pot-leaves? Those were the only political statements my generation needed on OUR vans!

  35. jus_wonderin

    [re=635167]comicbookguy[/re]: Why does that make me feel like we will return from commercial and the CSI squad is crawling all over this scene?

  36. Bearbloke

    [re=635191]jus_wonderin[/re]: Jinx! You own me a coke, mate – but I’ll settle from huffing some hair-spray out of a paper sack with you in the back of your van – it’s a beauty!

  37. Toomush Infermashun

    I’m pretty sure Euthanasia, the Illegal Alien is on Adult Swim on the Cartoon Network…it’s a post-modern tongue in cheeks look at human/outer-space sex with lots of throwing up…funny a guy in a van like this should be so hip….

  38. Barrelhse

    [re=635140]oh hi mark[/re]: Yeah, sorry. It’s either that or rude, crude, lewd, irreverent and filthy. There’s no in-between with me.

  39. leftcoaster

    [re=635110]Oldskool[/re]: Whom is such an underutilized word it amazes me someone actually used it unnecessarily.

  40. AuntieStupefaction

    This guy could actually make an argument about the messicuns taking his jobs, seeing as how he drives that piece of crap.

  41. AuntieStupefaction

    [re=635115]comicbookguy[/re]: It never gets old, does it? It’s a gift that keeps on giving.

  42. WhatTheHeck

    [re=635212]DemmeFatale[/re]: That type of van also used by Buffalo Bill in ‘Silence of the Lambs.’ Its death on wheels.

  43. Troubledog

    The ironic thing is here in Western Washington, you see a van like that, it’s full of small businessmen living the American dream by putting on raingear, heading for the woods with ten friends in a van, harvesting salal, and selling it to local evergreen floral wholesalers.

  44. Jukesgrrl

    “Euthanasia the illegal alien.” It makes sense to me. Duzz it ta yew?

    Now, that other part, “Hang the person whom hires them” … I have a bit of a problem there, seein’ as how I’m a bidnessman.

  45. momus

    That’s a camouflaged Messican taxi if I ever saw one. (The poor grammar gives it away.) It came up from Laredo with a load of illegals, and they all got on a plane for (uhm) El Paso.

  46. Poisoned Rationality

    Five bucks says there’s a metal ring welded to the middle of the floor in that shit-box. And a blacklight would make the inside glow like Chernobyl.

  47. zhubajie

    Intelligent people don’t put signs or stickers on their vehicles. Why let potential enemies know who you are? Same for shirts with slogans on them.

  48. Darkness

    [re=635119]MLM[/re]: I suspect our illustrious van-owner here thought that word sounded worse because it sounded like something Mr. Hilter would approve of. Right after his hiking trip through the Sonoran Desert, of course.

  49. just pixels

    Where have I seen this sentiment before? Oh gosh, it’s on the tip of my tongue. OH YEAR! The Nazis said it about the Jews. (Yep, gotta go to Godwin on this picture.)

  50. Seek

    Not to be Suzy Sunshine but the one piece of brilliant news to come from this deranged moron is that we are down to only ONE illegal alien. We are supposed to be providing this “Euthanasia” to THE illegal alien. It’s the kind thing to do since he/she must be quite lonely know that the other 12 million or so undocumented persons scampered on out of the country. They probably took off to Canada for the socialist health care.

  51. President Beeblebrox

    In similar news, the Rush Limbaugh favorite Investors Business Daily has a totally weird editorial that says Arizona “has a case (short of secession) for billions in damages from Uncle Sam” because said Uncle Sam hasn’t protected them from “invasions” of greasy Messicans as Uncle Sam is supposed to do under the Constitution.

    http://www.investors.com/NewsAndAnalysis/Article.aspx?id=542468&obref=outbrain

    So…… let me see if I got this right:

    Stimulus dollars from Uncle Sam bad, dollars from lawsuit against Uncle Sam good.

    Trial lawyers seeking damages on behalf of injured plaintiffs bad, trial lawyers seeking damages on behalf of poor widdle Arizona good.

    The only thing the editorial needed was to spell billions with an $.

  52. mumblyjoe

    You have to give him credit for knowing the word “Whom” exists.

    I mean, he managed to use it in the most egregiously incorrect way possible, and he’s also a hateful bigot who deserves to have his van torched, but it’s the small things, you know?

  53. tednugentslover

    As one who lives in Austin, it bears repeating that Austin is the liberal town in Texas.

  54. gradgrind

    I am taking a pass on outrage/snark this round. Not because I’m exhausted from all the other outrage/snark provocations — I am — but because Wonkette operative Matthew V. is either pwn’d or pwn’ing here, w/ a Photoshop assist. Srsly, who but a graphic arts professional would space the letters that evenly?

    Counterfeit, but still fun.

  55. BigWhiteCloud

    [re=635323]gradgrind[/re]: Thank you bro/sis. I am ashamed I did not sooner call the ‘Shop on this one.

  56. Aurelio

    Why do people use “whom” as the subject of a verb? Is it because they think “whom” is a classier way of saying “who”?

  57. PrimlyStable

    Fun experiment for the day.

    1) Acquire a beaten-up old van, possibly from the estate sale of a recently executed serial kiler.

    2) Write “I’m a Muslim and I think we should kill all the Americans (and the Jews, also)” on the side in big green and white letters.

    3) See how close you can get to the parking garage at Austin airport without being the FBI opening fire.

    I’m guessing they’ll be a bit quicker off the mark than they were with Mr Racist McShitFerBrains here.

  58. Miss Kublik

    Did the authorities call out the bomb squad and hazmat crews when this abandoned van was discovered? Or did the authorities calculate that anyone who strained so hard to use “whom” really wasn’t much of a threat?

  59. S.Luggo

    [re=635192]Oh hell to the no[/re]: Agreed. As it says in the NT, whom is without sin cast the first cement block.

    By the bye, Euthanasia is a very common girl’s name in central Texas. As is Gonryah.

  60. Brendan

    The Wonkette is getting seriously lackadaisical in its journalistic integrity… This is Jan Brewer’s Governormobile, not some creepy abandoned van. Christ. Plus, as far as Jan’s extensive educational credentials are concerned, there are no funnies to laugh at in the shining exemplar of grammar shown above. Quit laughing.

    Speaking of exemplars, if you’d ACTUALLY read SB 1070 you’d know this is the prototype for the way all cars will look in Arizona. No shiny Obamao socialist commy civics here. Everyone will decide they want to join the brotherhood of the Van. It’s mandated. It’s in the bill.

    Euthanasian cars, not Asian cars. Bring jobs back here to americans. meaning white people only while we sort this 14th Amendment thing out.

Comments are closed.