What the H-E-Double-Hockey-Sticks is going on? Your editor just returned from a frantic/miserable week of “summer vacation,” with nothing but occasional glances at the USA Today to remind him of this American Politics/Collapse thing — did you know America Loves Cake, and everyone is still unemployed, and the nation is melting?
What else? Oh, there was a mob war on the Metro, and Pakistan is washing away in the worst floods in a century, and even Moscow is on fire. At least our modern-day Marie Antoinette and one of the Obama daughters are rocking the Costa del Sol, while the rest of us eat actual garbage just to get the TB so we can demand a cot and three square meals a day at Nobama’s Death Hospital.
{ 82 comments }
Didn’t you hear, Ken. This is Michelle’s ‘let them eat cake’ moment because she traipses across the world while American is literally DYING. And the only reason Americans aren’t in an uproar about her vacation is because this is reparations for slavery.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/08/06/rush-limbaugh-media-givin_n_674071.html
[re=634304]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]: I hope Rush eats a big piece of cake and chokes- for the last time.
[re=634304]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]: The point of his comment was that Rush was considering going back in time and enslaving his ancestors, for all the perks.
Also the Wonkettes have been invaded by some sort of super spam-bot. Is this the robot uprising we’ve been hearing about?
W-w-w-what? Welcome “back” Ken, we’ve been wondering where you were. Next time let us know in advance, k?
Sara’s camera broke. Much haiku has been written. MICHELEPAC now exists.
The feigned indignation of the American media falls mainly south of the Spanish plain.
In reality, this trip isn’t even so “exotic” — fuck Cokie Roberts in the eye! — as the Islands-native Barry O’Bomber going to Hawai’i to see his half-Indonesian half-sister. Spain is a top three (?) travel destination for Americans going to Europe, up there with Italy & France, & more conservative than either of those two, to boot.
In other words, Michelle should be lauded for taking her daughter to such a Catholic place; sure, it might not wash that much with the Popery-loathing fundies, but they should acquiesce (enough) given the ejaculatory opining their semi-ally Bill Donahue will be giving.
The very idea of african-american polywogs and Portugu
ese water dogs swanning around on Air Force One has set the country ablaze with indignation. Let’s scrap the Constitution and just start over…
No one expected this Spanish Inquisition.
Just the price the rednecks have to pay for stressing her out with all the assassination threats against her husband. Crackers stop doing that shit and maybe she can chill out at home, but nooooo.
The comments at CBS are not about cake:
I’m sorry to say, but no one with black skin will be elected in the next 10-15 decades because of this jerk of a man named Barack, and his ugly wife. Couple of f,uc,king n,ig,gers.
They said this about Marie Antoinette, too, I bet.
This just validates what Sarah and her running mate, that old guy, what’s his name, says. Also.
Depends which part of Spain she’s visiting. If it’s by the sea and covered with lobster-red English tourists, that’s not being snooty and hoity-toity, that’s taking one for the team. She’s vacationing over there so you don’t have to!
[re=634337]Dean Booth[/re]: I love how that quote starts out with “I’m sorry to say…” Might as well have said “I’m no racist, but…”
[re=634337]Dean Booth[/re]: I am pulling for an insurgent Raul Grijalva in 2016 to sweep the Dem nom, then take the White House for the browns, again.
Second-best would be the Afro-Bangladeshi from Detroit who is in-line to replace Kwame Kilpatrick’s mom in the U.S. House.
I just dreampt Nikke Michaele Paris Kagan was giving my sexy parts a part in the play, whatever that meant.
Also: has anyone considered that this trip might just be the fulfillment of an HORSE-inspired bet between the baller Barack & the almost as keenly interested in baloncesto Jose Luis Rodriguez Zapatero? Winner would get right of prima nocte with the loser’s spouse?
Somehow, Ken, I’m not surprised that you didn’t enjoy your “summer vacation.” You seem the type for whom a “vacation” is impossible. Plus, you have two young sons, and nothing is as relaxing as two little cacodemons annoying their parents in some “exotic” locale. Hopefully, you’re now “happy” back in your desert-cult compound where you can drink the days away as you weep at the death of Democracy and Decency. Welcome back!
I can’t wait until Sarah Palin is elected so Todd Palin can restore honor and dignity to the office of First Lady.
(Also, Michelle: My offer still stands if you want to become Mrs Michelle Pixels.)
@Vulpes82: Outstanding Plato reference. And Rush can go eis korakas.
Racism by any other name would stink the same. Bigotry and economic upheaval, the 1920s revisited.
I am sure there is a filthy vuvuzela gag in here somewhere, but I, for one, am too much of a gentleman to make it.
Eh. Fuck ‘em. Haters gonna hate.
Welcome the fuck back, Layne.
[re=634337]Dean Booth[/re]: Absolutely appalling use of punctuation.
[re=634355]WadISay[/re]: Well then, you blew it, didn’t you?
[re=634334]Rentboy.gov[/re]: Do they even allow Portuguese water dogs into Spanish territory? Do they have to learn to bark en castellano first?
[re=634304]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]: Yeah. I remember getting the daily memo from the NAACP/Nation of Islam stating that some of our reparations was going to Michelle’s vacation. I personally voted for vacation time at Universal Studios in Orlando Florida but lost on that one.
Crappy week, layoffs, misery, murders of UW medical aid workers in Afghanistan…but when I see that blingy, I feel so proud that they are the first family!
As I remember, wasn’t Laynes last vacation some sort of dodge the wildfire in Big Sur. Do us all a favor, and let us know where you are vacationing, so we can avoid it, at all costs.
I don’t get it.
Gangs are starting to use mass transit to reduce their carbon footprint and Layne is all upset about it?
[re=634335]Dean Booth[/re]: AH HA HA HA HA!
[re=634342]imissopus[/re]: Too earnest. Way to ruin the mood. Go back to Internet kindergarten.
Ken, did you hear? A black woman and her child went on a trip to Spain.
There is only one thing she could have done worse, and that would have been a trip to Africa.
I have a terrible feeling that Carlists and Fascists, Nazis and some half remembered pseudo-history involving the Spanish civil war and Ernest Hemingway will somehow makes it’s way into the vacation slide show Glenn Beck has planned for Monday evening.
Wingnuts are nothing if not predictable…
[re=634372]JeffBarea[/re]: Oooo, getting the smackdown from the pile of batshit crazy that is Jeff Barea. Looks like the nurses forgot you’re not supposed to use the Internet machine again. Naughty Jeff! Go have an orderly hook you back up to your Thorazine drip.
[re=634374]dijetlo[/re]: Franco hated the blacks — except for his Moroccan guard.
Boom! Roasted!
Sasha, sometimes I doubt your commitment to Sparkle Motion!
[re=634372]JeffBarea[/re]:
[re=634375]imissopus[/re]:
Everyone’s drinking. Splendid.
Since I’m straight:
Ahem. You really have to wonder if people realize how fucked this country is.
The Chinese are now #1 in the world in buying new cars, India is similarly kicking ass. Think about that. At some point soon, the American worker is going to have to live on social-financial par with a people who send their children to work for 50 cents an hour pulling 15-hour shifts in concentration camps. Either that or join the service in the grand backdoor draft provided by the military industrial congressional complex, the only remaining engine of general opportunity in the United States.
One consolation is Ministry’s closeout song on Hurt Locker. Fuck, what a band.
Hmeh. Even if it’s a right-wingnut racist douchebag saying it, at least someone is pointing out the Louis XVIth-ness of all these elected fucks, every single one of them, privileged fuckheads who perceive all the unlucky Hurt Locker people, all the foreclosed-upon, all the underemployed, unemployed, destitute, the ignorant, the overeducated, the morally indignant as demographics that need a little nudging rather than animals that need a little protection.
It’s so over. I’m hoping for civil war over assassination. I’ll volunteer for First Air Cav to invade Texas. That shithole just needs cleaning, you know?
Oh, pardon me, you two were flaming each other. Here, one of you should use this one:
“Dear Microencephaloramus,
I beg you to abandon this argument, as it will quickly devolve into the textual equivalent of my tearing out your spine and scratching my ass with your massive overbite.”
[re=634375]imissopus[/re]: Now you’re just trying too hard. Kind of embarrassing. Next time just call me fat and ugly. Take up less space on the server.
[re=634373]WhatTheHeck[/re]: When you see a negro on vacation, you just know they must have stolen it from some deserving white family.
[re=634377]Long Form Def Certificate[/re]: Huh? Um, Morroccoanesia may be in Africa, but are you sure you want to call them black?
*Hides fire extinguisher behind back*
I’ve been to Ronda. Actually, my wife and I were there on our honeymoon. Seeing Michelle Obama vacationing there makes me feel cool. Thank you, Michelle!
Teledep-Mort Zuckerman to Barry. Threshold alert Michelle chocorat doubleplusungood. Photo Inner Party splashing doubleplusungood doublethink threatened. Sasha Eurasia photo malreported engage bellyfeel memoryhole engage fullwise facecrime among goodthinkers. Memoryhole!
Oh fuck, Syme has a Teabag.
Next election, John McCain will saddle Michelle and come riding across the stage on her with his riding crop yelling, “Whoa, Negratariat” and the George Wallace wheelchair ‘plegics will roar with approval.
I have this vague feeling…. Something in my mind…. I don’t know what it’s called, but there seems to be this information that isn’t in the present. The dictionary says it’s called “mem-o-ry.” Apparently, humans used to have it.
Anyway, I think there is this “memory” of eight years where the President took more vacation time than he spent at work, and he was always “clearing brush” and golfing, and anyone who said anything about it was a traitor and dishonoring the Office of the Presidency, and the expenses of wiring Crawdad, Texas to be a “war president” bunker, complete with real-time screens to talk to the “troops on the ground,” was a patriotic expense, because we were at war, and anyone who questioned the expense and why the stupid sonofabitch didn’t just go back to Washington was obviously giving aid and comfort to the enemy, and was possibly a terrorist.
It’s a good thing that conservatives like us got rid of that “memory” thing.
[re=634378]Extemporanus[/re]:
You are eternal, and aware of all Internet traditions.
[re=634405]Geogre[/re]: Keep fucking that chicken. See how well it works for you among the electorate.
Be bitter, hold a grudge, whine, yell, hate me for not giving a fuck while I was fucking lots of guys and having the time of my life – instead of focusing on politics, which was much more boring than the life I was living (hint, this is how most people who aren’t obsessed with politics were feeling), try to make it an issue like that time I didn’t wash the dishes properly, I forgot your birthday, I was late to that special dinner for that special day that I never knew about…
Getting a clue yet? LOSER ISSUE.
LOSER ISSUE in case it didn’t penetrate your PhD bred brain.
Now, if you want to join us on the field of battle today in 2010 it would be much more fun to kick your asses all over the place than watching a bunch of dementia patients talking about the time Truman led the troops against the British in New Orleans while Katrina raged the Moroccans were put into slavery until the last of the Moroccans were vanquished on Bunker Hill.
Or not.
Some ideas are just dumb and cringe inducing. Whatever upside they’re supposed to have is overwhelmed by their in-your-face ness. Before ideas run amuk someone is supposed to say “you have got to be shitting me”. I’m looking at you, Rahm.
All I fucking know is that god must love the people of the CA Bay Area, because as the rest of the world melts, we haven’t even SEEN the fucking sun for more than a couple hours a day in over a month. It’s the MIDDLE OF AUGUST and I actually had to turn on the heater a few times last week to ward off a case of hypothermia.
Next: Breitbart releases doctored video from Spain. NAACP condemns the first lady and WH asks for her resignation.
Haven’t we heard this story since Jackie (those of us who remember)…
I like the quote from cbs, tho, because it makes itself perfectly clear.
[re=634407]JeffBarea[/re]: I think Dale Carnegie owes you a refund.
[re=634428]AddHomonym[/re]: And his therapist too???
The flyover country folk will not believe Michelle, Sasha, and Malia ate savory foams and other molecular gastronomical treats on their Iberian sojourns.
Spray cheese never tasted so good…
[re=634423]Blender[/re]:
This is true. It’s like the CA clock stopped in April, right after the last of those sprinkly, warm showers that went on for what seemed like weeks. Thank You Space Jesus! Thank You!
What is with this weekend? First, relentless spammers, then some unintelligible flame-war!
Looks like Ken came back just in time.
(And I’m sure I’m not the only one looking forward to Sara’s take on the MoDo bitchfest about Michelle.)
I suppose all these whacky comments are a fitting end to Sharrrk Week.
[re=634436]DemmeFatale[/re]: My thoughts exactly! I wonder if the coronal mass ejection had something to do with it. (First video doesn’t work but the other 3 do. Enjoy.)
Is the right so stupid as to not realize that one of the jobs of the First Lady is to act at a goodwill ambassador?
I think I just answered my own question.
P.S. Yo quiero taco bell.
[re=634436]DemmeFatale[/re]: Oh, well, the flamers are not particularly interesting.
Anyone who even CAN be nailed with an ad hominem at an anonymous web forum has spent too much time on it. Anyone who reacts to one is probably new. Anyone who thinks that it’s a winning tactic is already a Republican.
We’re so deep in the “government by Wal*Mart” (what’s cheap, not what’s good) that it’s as if the clock went back to 1999. I remember that that was the hulabaloo then, too. It was magical, the way that the deficit ceased to matter at all for eight years. I mean it really did. The problem I have is with the press not noticing that they have gone back to their 1999 narratives.
[re=634434]lumpenprole[/re]: Trust us: the East can more than make up for whatever temperate climate you’re having. The south is getting months hotter than the Dust Bowl years, and the mid-Atlantic is busting records, too. If CA is getting cool weather, just be grateful and don’t tell us Easterners about it.
Just a matter of time before the Republican smear machine tried to use Michelle to make a mountain out of a molehill.
And how many gas-guzzling 3-hour flights on Air Force 1 did George W., spouse, kids, DOGS and entourage (plus several cases of vodka) make to the Crawford relaxation spot?
Crimminies, what absolute nonsense.
[re=634440]Sharkey[/re]: racisto
Good gawd..this Obama vacation thing is getting ridiculous. My wingnut dad and sister could not shut the fuck up about it this morning. I warned them about bringing up vacationing and presidencies (Dubya:1020 days, more than 1/3rd of his presidency). “Oooh but it was all in the US..it was cheaper, blah blah DURRFF DUUH” Holy jumping jesus, JUST SHUT UP AND EAT YER BREAKFAST TACOS!!
It was pointed out elsewhere that Laura took Jenna and Barbara on vacation trips in August just like Michelle and nobody cared or pointed it out. It was then pointed out that Laura and the kids trips weren’t that big of a deal because unlike Michelle, they traveled in America.
[re=634423]Blender[/re]: What is this thing called sun? I’ve heard rumors of it but as I haven’t seen it in San Francisco for months, I wonder if it still exists.
AP Online: Laura Bush, Entourage Tour Europe, May 17, 2002
BUDAPEST, Hungary (AP) _ Thirty different outfits, 15 traveling staffers, dozens of Secret Service agents, scores of embassy personnel, seven pricey gifts, one professional hair stylist.
That’s what it takes to see Laura Bush through 15 days overseas.
The no-nonsense first lady, lauded in the French press for her simple style, has appeared during this inaugural overseas mission of hers to be unreconciled to, or at least self-conscious of, the fuss of public life.
Leaving Washington on the same Air Force jet often used by Vice President Dick Cheney, she wryly asked her traveling party: “Did you all have to pack 30 outfits, …
[re=634423]Blender[/re]: Boo fuckin’ hoo! Washington DC is only a cheap airfare away and we’ve got all the heat, humidity, sunshine, lightning storms, “microburts”, and dead rats you’ve been craving.
Lots of museums too.
[re=634444]El Pinche[/re]: Patria o muerte, venceremos!
[re=634423]Blender[/re]: Such a hardship! Austin finally hit the 100s; we’ve usually had 40-something more than we have had at this time of the year. Next summer I’m moving to Oakland to attend Oaksterdam University.
/Snark Off
Karen Woo, M.D., a/k/a/ “Explorer Kitty,” murdered while on a medical mission in Afghanistan:
http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2010/aug/07/karen-woo-selfless-doctor-gunned-down
I am torn between two quotes:
“If people bring so much courage to this world the world has to kill them to break them, so of course it kills them. The world breaks every one and afterward many are strong at the broken places. But those that will not break it kills. It kills the very good and the very gentle and the very brave impartially. If you are none of these you can be sure it will kill you too but there will be no special hurry.”
— Ernest Hemingway (A Farewell to Arms)
Hudson: Let’s just bug out and call it even, OK? What are we talking about this for?
Ripley: I say we take off and nuke the entire site from orbit. It’s the only way to be sure.
Hudson: Fuckin’ A…
Burke: Ho-ho-hold on, hold on one second. This installation has a substantial dollar value attached to it.
Ripley: They can *bill* me.
– Aliens
The only problem with the second quote is that I’m pretty sure that Dr. Woo would disagree with it. Because she was a better person than I am.
FUCK THIS WHOLE FUCKING THING TO FUCK.
/Snark On
Oh, fuck it. I’m not in the mood.
FUCK.
Via Con Deos, Doc.
[FUCK.]
It’s not the heat, it’s the people who complain about the heat, or who change their normal behavior because of the heat:
- The young man who turns from a clueless asshole into a aggressive, heat-crazed asshole.
- The young girl who wants to be Lady Gaga and wear see-thru clothing.
- The family man who decides to show his tattoos while riding his Harley up and down the street.
- The neighbor who decides to turn his yard into a living room and sit around half-naked, eating pretzels and blaring his stereo.
Me .. I’m immune to the heat bcause I have an air-conditioned soul.
[re=634448]chascates[/re]: Good catch. Did she take Barney?
[re=634453]Neilist[/re]: Read this just as an F-18 flew over my house.
[re=634456]bago[/re]: Ignore Neilist. He’s an ASSHOLE who just emailed his friend in Kabul to the effect that, “If you get fucking killed over there, I will fucking kill you, I’m not fucking kidding, fuck me if I’m fucking not.”
I was listening to an interview on Pacifica Radio this morning in which the guest raised the question as to who is worse: (1) A President who gets the U.S. involved in a war due to incredibly stupid, albeit honestly held beliefs (i.e., Bush); or (2) a President who knows that war is incredibly stupid, etc., but doesn’t have the political guts to end it?
Flip a coin, you ask me.
Fuck.
What’s the line about “the first time [Vietnam] it’s a tragedy; the second time [Afghanistan] it’s a comedy/farce?”
Although the first time seemed pretty funny sometimes — that is, provided you weren’t one of the Gooks.
(No sense of humor, or sense of the absurd, those people. Unlike us Civilized Westerners . . . .)
Actually, the single most flip Marie Antoinette line of our time was Babs Bush babbling about how the New Orleans people had it better than ever with all the government “help” post-Katrina. Never forget.
[re=634457]Neilist[/re]:
(1) A President who gets the U.S. involved in a war due to incredibly stupid, albeit “honestly held beliefs” JUST KIDDING(i.e., Bush)
There. Fixed….
Read more at Wonkette: http://wonkette.com/417243/world-ending-michelle-obama-rocks-the-costa-del-sol#comments#ixzz0w3XKHe4r
Um, guys, this is Wonkette. Y’all are ruining my Monday by being so earnest.
Let’s chat about my boy Alvin Greene now. I think he has a good chance to win!
[re=634459]Toomush Infermashun[/re]: Doesn’t that violate Hanlon’s Razor?: “Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity.”
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hanlon%27s_razor
I personally refuse to believe that Bush was smart enough . . . .
[re=634460]JeffBarea[/re]: Sorry, Jeff.
“We now take you back to our regularly scheduled coverage of buttsek and Louisiana Diaper Senators.”
[re=634457]Neilist[/re]: The last two presidents to invade Afghanistan were Brezhnev and Bush; the jury is still out on which one was worse.
[re=634337]Dean Booth[/re]: Something tells me that they would have said that about ANY black man who was elected.
[re=634406]AKAM80TheWolf[/re]: I am but a vapor…
It’s almost like elRushbo is mailing it in anymore. He says some incredibly stupid shit and no one really pays attention anymore.
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