Usually, Barry Can You Hear Me? entails a frame-by-frame analysis of official White House videographer Arun Chaudhary’s West Wing Week, which is like Triumph of the Will except not evil and also with less choreographed marching and visual symmetry. But this week, Arun went on a tour of the Gulf Coast to talk to Southern poors and middle-classists, who are of course uninteresting and of little use to Hardcore Barack Obama fangirls like me (and you!)
Instead, in honor of our greatest prezzy-dent’s 49th b-day, I have composed a series of haiku. This traditional Japanese art form is probably familiar to our first Asian-American chief executive, so he will likely respond to me with some sort of gift of dried cherry blossoms and/or pet ninja.
Ahem. Here we go.
Barack Obama
Happy forty nine years old.
What would Allah do?
Michelle is older?
Maybe, but also hotter.
Deltoids triceps yum.
Birthday cake flavor
Islamist socialism
Halal buttercream
That last one was more traditionally Japanese, because Mohammed was born in Tokyo, which is why Pearl Harbor was bombed.
Have a fabulous weekend, friendly practitioners of the art of bonsai! I’ll be preparing for this August 21st live show in your own District of Columbia, to which you ought to buy tickets. It has almost sold out, like Barry did when he failed to free Mumia immediately upon taking office. Fare thee well, cretins!
Sara Benincasa seriously sends us these things from her BlackBerry. We have no idea how her thumbs still function.
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Sara Benincasa seriously sends us these things from her BlackBerry. We have no idea how her thumbs still function.”
So she quite literally phoned it in?
[re=633787]pdiddycornchips[/re]: at least she didnt cut and paste it.
Blackberry or BlackBarry. Inquiring minds…
[re=633795]Oldskool[/re]: Sorry, the correct response is Blackberry BlackBarry HUMMM ARE THEY BROTHERS
Blackberry? Every time I send a message with a blackberry all I get is stained fingers. Maybe I am doing it wrong?
I send all of my comments via that fake car phone filled with Skittles I bought at Spencer’s Novelty Gifts at Almeda Mall in Houston, Texas in 1990.
birth certificate
from forty nine years ago
still can not be found
Dang, I’ve always wanted to spend “An Evening with Sara Benincasa,” but I didn’t want all those other people around.
[re=633818]Come here a minute[/re]: That was a really good one. Now I am not on my Blackberry, but on a real computer! I found one, thanks to Christ.
[re=633794]Suds McKenzie[/re]:
maybe I’m just cranky due to the 700% humidity in NYC today but this is not Sarah’s best work. Hopey had a birfday this week, Ms. Hopey was visiting Pedro Almadovar, the leaky thing got fixed, lots of interesting shit happened this week.
[re=633825]pdiddycornchips[/re]: I WROTE ORIGINAL HAIKU! THIS IS UNPRECEDENTED, ON YOUR WONKETTE!
Why don’t you link to the West Wing Week thing? Maybe we want to watch it?
Can we rename this column “Profiles in Tepidity”?
Kenyan Overlord
Celebrates with heads of state –
Shrunken and pickled.
[re=633835]Sara Benincasa[/re]:
I suppose that’s something although I myself am not a lover of japanese wordplay. I was looking forward to a thorough mocking of whatever poor spaniard happened to catch your fancy. I so loved your mocking of the Brit and the Swedish fish guy from previous posts.
[re=633839]Gunner[/re]: It’s not about Barack this week, and the point of my satirical column is to stalk Barack Obama or write him crazy love letters.
[re=633864]pdiddycornchips[/re]: Haha, I leave that to your weekly Michelle Obama correspondent, who breathlessly details the goings-on of the FLOTUS. However I would be sure to throw in a guy who lisped because of his Strange Barcelonian Ways.
[re=633835]Sara Benincasa[/re]: I most certainly enjoyed the poemism, but clicking on the haiku tag that you(?) added would seem to indicate otherwise. Pants on fire, etc.
Sara, I love you. Maybe even in a gay way. You, me, Barry, in a 3-way. Whaddya think?
[re=633808]norbizness[/re]: Alameda Mall!
Sara, your pronunciation of “socialism” reveals you as a stealth Brit.
Um, if I’m not mistaken, a poem is not technically a Haiku unless it contains a theme of seasonal change. Watch and learn, round-eyes:
Summer follows spring
Sara follows West Wing Week
Underpants make soup
There ya go. No charge.
[re=634032]Malketeer[/re]: Thank you.
birth certificate
from forty nine summers past
still can not be found
Prez claims Hawai’i
& fancies spam a delight
Sits poorly with Islam
[re=633825]pdiddycornchips[/re]: Fuck global warming, it is the global humidity which is gonna kill us all.
lawnmower chase him
he cannot run very fast
his ass is cut bad
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