Remember, Bob Inglis, the really quite conservative South Carolina Congressman (93 percent rating from the American Conservative Union!) who was absolutely obliterated in his primary this year by some Tea Party loony toon? Remember how he whined afterwards that he lost because he he wasn’t a demagogue? Well, now we have absolute proof, from his own (forked?) tongue, that we are all very lucky this fool is out of office, because he admits that, once made aware of the terrible alliance between scaly space monsters and Jews that threatens the very fabric of our existence, he did nothing.
In between packing up his desk and looking for a new job, Inglis took the time to talk to Mother Jones, because once Republicans get beaten for being too liberal they go crawling to the liberal media as a matter of course. You should absolutely read the whole thing because it is sad and hilarious, but here is the saddest/most hilarious bit, about a meeting he had with a bunch of Tea Party activists:
I sat down, and they said on the back of your Social Security card, there’s a number. That number indicates the bank that bought you when you were born based on a projection of your life’s earnings, and you are collateral. We are all collateral for the banks. I have this look like, “What the heck are you talking about?” I’m trying to hide that look and look clueless. I figured clueless was better than argumentative. So they said, “You don’t know this?! You are a member of Congress, and you don’t know this?!” And I said, “Please forgive me. I’m just ignorant of these things.” And then of course, it turned into something about the Federal Reserve and the Bilderbergers and all that stuff. And now you have the feeling of anti-Semitism here coming in, mixing in. Wow.
Ha ha, Bob, good move not to let these guys know that you were in on all this; otherwise they would have skinned you alive, to make sure you weren’t secretly a lizard wearing a human meatsack disguise.
Inglis also says he feels remorse for working so hard on getting Bill Clinton impeached while a Congressman in the ’90s, which is morally the equivalent of being Che. [Mother Jones]
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Looking clueless was a good move. Being clueless is the secret Teabagger handshake.
And that is why I don’t carry my Social Security card with me…so they can’t find me.
If he were a true patriot, that rating would be 100%.
The Lizard People really need to come up with a “First Rule of being a Lizard Person”.
If I was sold to Lehman Brothers at birth, does that now make me free?
There is a problem. His repentance is good, but the man was horrible in his first run in Congress. He ran against Fritz Hollins and would go to disrupt meetings with heckling over Hollins voting against Forever War in Gulf War I.
So, when this guy… when this “Blowjobs must be impeached now now now yes yes!” guy tells you that the Teabaggers are insane, you know that they are a very special blend of crazy. They are lead paint and mercury salad crazy. They’re inbreeding and locked in the attic crazy. They’re three fingers and thirteen toes and hairy teats crazy.
I’m so glad that Yertle McConnell and Boner want to play to them now.
He lost support because he didn’t bang Nikki Haley. Which every true conservative in South Carolina has done.
[re=633711]ella[/re]: 110%. Teabag advanced mathematics at work.
This is why teabaggers don’t read — those ISBN number? They’re the publishers who own your copyright to everything you say. After you die, they turn your words into kitty litter and reap huge profits.
This dude has been on NPR lately too. Like alot of his ilk, he knows how to sound reasonably sane when he absolutely has to. Anyway, fuck him.
What BS!! I hear they can send computer chips into your brain from a satellite now anyway!
EVERYONE KNOWS THIS. The bar code on that can of Beanie-Weanies is put there so the anti-Christ can decide if you eat or not. MARK OF THE BEAST. MARK OF THE BEASSTTTTTT!!!!!
He was crazy when crazy wasn’t cool!
This is what comes of not supporting enough Network TV. And making the drugs too expensive to abuse.
Blipberts we need more Blipverts.
So that’s why my mom was given a free toaster when I was born!
This is what comes from not supporting Network TV enough. More 3′s company to pacify the masses.
Blipverts, we need more blipverts.
[re=633716]Canmon (the Inadequate)[/re]: Not so fast, “Bob the Bilderberger” — you’re gonna have to wait until President Obama issues his “Emancipation Calculation” before you’re totally off the books.
[re=633732]Extemporanus[/re]:
They were out of toasters the day I was born. My mom got a rock.
the very silly party takes south carolina’s 4th; slightly silly party, naught.
Ha! The joke’s is on them because my bank has got a totally underwater investment on it hands.
The best part is when he describes how, in his first congressional tenure, he voted all his efforts at all time to going after the Clintons. Now he sees that that was a mistake!
Of course he’s a Christian so Jah-Weh will forgive him. Too bad nobody else will.
If I can’t find a number on the back of my social security card, should I feel left out and call major banks and demand that they own me? Maybe I can start with the ones with whom I have credit cards. Oh, wait, they sort of own me already, don’t they?
In South Carolina you have to multiply the craziness by the Karolina Krazy Konstant (3.1) to arrive at the true level if nuttiness. Thus:
Apparent Craziness was 9.3 (normal is 1.0; wonkette normal is 2.4)
AC x KKK = 9.3 / 3.1 = 3.0
Ergo the Congressman’s peeps are 3.0 in KKK adjusted craziness.
[re=633747]V572625694[/re]: Yep. I especially love all that talk about being a good Christian while also actively hating Bill Clinton and doing everything he could to (literally) destroy him. And then taking six goddamn years to figure out that this strategy was–shockingly!–wrong.
[re=633738]Oblios Cap[/re]: I find the image of your mother slowly trudging down a dusty country road on her way home from the hospital, with you under one arm, and a rock under the other, hauntingly poignant.
By the way, how is your “sister” Rosetta these days?
We should tell them that they need to dig the tracking device out of their wrist. The best way is to cut diagonally.
i thought the jews WERE the scaly space monsters! I need to take another course at David Icke University in the fall, because I’m obviously not keeping my expertise current.
This is some depressing shit. These people went to a sitting Congressman with this nutty shit? They’re so firm in their convictions and so confident that this is common knowlege that they don’t have the decency to hide in their Y2K bombshelters and wait it out?
What if the bank that bought me went out of business?
Hypothetically, if someone here had access to this bank run people-futures market, would they be able to look up how much I’d be able to get for a trunk full of Norwegians?
Hypothetically. I can’t stress that part enough.
Whichever bank bought futures in Troubledog Enterprises must be sorely disappointed.
[re=633721]Gorillionaire[/re]: He came up against the true believers that he and his ilk have created. “Hey. You don’t know that half if it.” And I for one hope the cliff is very very high.
[re=633738]Oblios Cap[/re]: My mom got a lump of coal. She loved it more than she loved me, and gave it a cooler name than Juan. When hard times hit they’d try to throw me into the furnace first. Then they tried to sell me to the Jews, but my mom hated them so much she changed her mind; she didn’t want them to get the sustenance from my flesh and/or blood. Or was that the Gypsies? I forget.
[re=633717]Geogre[/re]: As a differently digited American with mammillary vibrissae, I find your remarks to be quite offensive. I assure you, the degree of consanguinity between my parents was sufficient to legal requirements and, to the best of my knowledge, none of my ancestors were ever confined to a garret. When the fleet of spaceships bearing my reptilian brothers arrives to liberate this world from its simian oppressors, I shall see that you get your comeuppance!
So, is there some way I can increase my equity by liquidating MY assets? Like, maybe take a piss in the front yard??
[re=633716]Canmon (the Inadequate)[/re]: No, but it does assign you a face-value equivalent to Confederate notes…
[re=633753]Terry[/re]: ATTENTION NON-PERSON! REPORT TO FATE ASSIGNMENT OFFICER TURANGA LEELA IMMEDIATELY TO HAVE YOUR PREDESTINATION CHIP INSERTED! THAT IS ALL. ALSO.
[re=633720]SayItWithWookies[/re]: Holy fuck, that’s genius.
That explains the letter I received recently informing me that I had been sold to a Chinese bank.
Hate to be the one to break it to Bob, but the GOP lost it’s long-term credibility before the Tea Baggers came along.
So PSFS owned me and now the main PSFS building is a hotel- do I belong to Hilton now? Or being Jewish do I own myself? See, if Iwas an elected official and someone said that stuff to me- I would call the Capitol police if I was in Dc or pretned to be really sick and have to puke if I was in my district.
[re=633804]Serolf Divad[/re]: More to the point: What if the bank that bought me got a bailout? Do I get any?
Inglis: needz moar demagoguery. He’d still have a jerb with the Renutlicans.
[re=633809]An Otter of Magnitude[/re]: I think this is hysterical. Except, I’m not sure I get it enough to be laughing as hard as I am.
[re=633809]An Otter of Magnitude[/re]: Well, since you can always tell a Norwegian, but not much, I’d say you got exactly “dick” in your trunk.
He’s gay, right? Because he totally looks gay.
Right wing conspiracy theorists are scarier than their libtard counterpart because they have guns.
One of the most profound things he ever heard was Clinton saying: “You’re all a pack of liars” . . . ? There is something profound in THAT, I’ll admit.
10% of the population are certifiable. 9.9% of them are in the Tea Party. The other 0.1% are hopeless at reading maps.
[re=634116]laz-bo-nus[/re]: NO ONE IS GONNA CLICK ON YOUR LINK DICKWAD!
Copy that into your next comment.
You know what’s NOT a conspiracy theory? The very idea that two dozen watch-listed belligerent aliens boarded four airliners under their own names, with fa-Chrissake BOX CUTTERS hidden in their assholes, and then took over four jumbo jets armed with dookie-stanky butt-reeking box cutters, for the love of Christ the Savior. THAT’S not a conspiracy theory. It’s simple logistics, like D-Day. The exact same shit could happen again tomorrow morning, which is why snowglobes must be ruthlessly stamped out and the bearers of snowglobes sent to Gitmo, um, not that Gitmo still exists under the reign of Barry the Nutless. But if it did!
No, a conspiracy theory is… fuck… no, wait, I had it a second ago… something about Matt Taibbi and Goldman Sachs? One boutique trading house blowing up the U.S. economy like a stick of dynamite stuffed up a dove’s ass? Yeah, that’s some crazy-ass brown acid crap right there. Yeah. Conspiracy, woo! Get out a here!
They were out of toasters the day I was born. My mom got a rock
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