uh yeah this seems bad actually

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This giant woman will prevent you from stealing wheat from the rodinaYOU GUYS JUST PASS THAT CAP AND TRADE BILL WHENEVER YOU GET AROUND TO IT: “Russia banned all exports of grain on Thursday after millions of acres of wheat withered in a severe drought, a portentous decision at a time when crop failures caused by heat and flooding span the northern hemisphere. Russia’s prime minister, Vladimir V. Putin, announced the ban, from Aug. 15 to Dec. 31, saying it was necessary to curb rising prices for food inside Russia, one of the world’s largest wheat exporters, which is suffering the hottest temperatures recorded since record-keeping began more than 130 years ago… The decision caused an immediate and sharp rise in the already high global price of wheat. It rose more than 8 percent in early trading on the Chicago Board of Trade on Thursday, after having increased about 90 percent since June.” [NYT]

About the author

Josh was born and raised in Buffalo, New York, leaving him with a love of chicken wings and a tendency to say “pop”. He taught ancient Greek and Roman history to undergraduates before fleeing from academia in terror; worked for a failed San Francisco dot-com that neglected to supply him with stock options or an Aeron chair; lived in Berlin, where he mostly ate Indian and Ethiopian food; finished in third place on his sole Jeopardy! appearance (the correct answer was “Golda Meir”); and was named 2007 Blogger of the Year by The Week, for obvious reasons. Josh is the creator/editor of COMICS CURMUDGEON (which you should read) and does geeky editing and writing about geeky things such as "the Java programming industry for JavaWorld." He lives in Baltimore with his wife Amber and his cat Hoagie.

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Hey there, Wonkeputians! Shypixel here to remind you to remember our Commenting Rules For Radicals, Enjoy!

  • Suds McKenzie

    I hope Inhofe’s grandchildren dont eat toast.

  • V572625694

    Last winter cold = global warming is a crock!
    This summer hot = that’s just weather, not climate! And the Rooskies have it coming!

  • red sky

    And the irony is that Russia would be against any effort to reduce fossil fuels since it’s the only thing they export, other than AK-47s, and I hear the Chinese are selling more of them these days than the Rooskies.

  • Neilist

    “Arise, ye prices of starvation!
    Arise, ye balance of our trade!
    Because of all of this inflation,
    We ain’t gonna sell more wheat!”

  • FlownOver

    [re=633144]Suds McKenzie[/re]: Pretty soon they’ll be toast.

  • Sharkey

    [re=633151]red sky[/re]: Too bad wheat is not a fossil fuel.

  • Thugs & Criminals

    This is why we need more clean coal!

  • AxmxZ

    This has been a hellish summer for Russia. This is a country where there is basically no such thing as air conditioning, except in stores. There just has never been a need for it.

    gospodi spasi i sohrani…


    Messed up

  • Johnny Zhivago

    Just like the Rooskies… First they build their entire economy around communist ideas like bicycle sharing programs and then complain that they don’t have “air conditioning”.

  • Johnny Zhivago

    [re=633160]FlownOver[/re]: The sad thing is that Sarah Palin can see the Russians melting from her porch now.

  • Oldskool

    We have pised off Mother Nature bigtime and now she’s in an ass kicking mood.

  • nappyduggs

    If you want to stick it to the commies, take pictures of your fat families cold eating Spudnuts by the dozens, and e-mail them to Russia.
    Show’em that we don’t need their wheat and we can figure out better uses for potatuhs than wodka!


  • sleepy

    in russia, the corn stalks you.

  • Lionel Hutz Esq.

    Perhaps Glen Beck will now believe in global warming since he can now blame it all on the Socialist and their hatred of God or something.

    Although, I have a sneaking feeling that God wouldn’t want to be a member of a religion where Glen Beck accepted him.

  • dijetlo

    Well, Lord knows, we got war.
    Yonder comes famine.
    All we need now is pestilence and disease and we can get this party started.

  • dex

    i’m not worried; i have it on good authority bartertown will be located mere minutes from my windswept sand dune.

  • weejee

    The wheat farmers in eastern Washington just sang out in joy.

  • thehelveticascenario

    Screw gold, I’m hoarding Wheaties.

  • fatherfigure

    Red Dawn, my man, Red motherfucking Dawn…

  • MLM

    [re=633156]Neilist[/re]: Don’t you mean “Arie”?

  • facehead

    America should do whatever possible to help the Russians in this time of need. I recommend airlifting in several thousand illegally copied dvds of Red Dawn.

  • natoslug

    [re=633198]weejee[/re]: Maybe I need to plow under my knapweed farm and start growing wheat . . .

  • HedonismBot

    [re=633174]Oldskool[/re]: WE DIDN’T LISTEN!!!1!!!

  • edgydrifter

    Could we just get this whole rapture and apocalypse thing over with already? I’m coveting my neighbors AC unit bigtime, and I’m pretty sure he’s devout enough that he won’t need it for the end times.

  • just pixels

    Someone should tell those Russians that their drought is part of the greatest hoax in the history of mankind. I volunteer James Inhofe to go over and tell them face-to-hollow-cheeked-face.

    Remember: Every nation is three meals from revolution.

  • desertwind

    Let them eat snake.

  • Serolf Divad

    Wheat? Bah… I don’t eat anything that isn’t manufactured by the Tastykake company, and since it’s all made with petroleum distillates, the wheat shortage won’t mean a thing to me.

  • Extemporanus

    “Sickle. It’s what’s for dinner!”

    [re=633209]natoslug[/re]: I seriously read that the first time as “kneepad farm”.

  • Dashboard_Buddha

    [re=633177]sleepy[/re]: ohhhhh…ow ow. That was like drinking a slurpy too fast – delicious, but oh, the pain.

  • Jumping Jim

    Lots of Russians have died in rivers and lakes seeking some way to cool off.

    As misersable as Sarah Palin and the Palinettes want to make this country we would have to descend into the pits of hell to have as hard a time as the average Russian.

    Old Russian proverb… life is hard, then you die.

  • Potater

    I hate to run off-topic, but my local Chattanooga news is reporting that Basil Marceaux Sr., aka “The One,” has lost the Republican nomination for Governor to some nobody named “Beell Has-lam.”

    We shall mourn this day with quiet dignity, and threats to the local Republican party HQ. FREEDOM!

  • Aflac Shrugged

    We’ll have Louisiana send the summer’s entire catch at once.

  • AxmxZ

    [re=633247]Jumping Jim[/re]: Actually, the Russian proverb in question is not very old and goes rather “Living is bad for you; it causes death.”

  • chascates

    Basil Marceaux’s meteoric rise in politics may have come plummeting to earth tonight. With 5% of the votes counted in the Tennessee Republican gubernatorial primary, the New York Times is declaring that he has lost in a nip and tuck fight that lasted for more than an hour into vote tallying.

    At the time of this writing, the apparent victor, Bill Haslam has over 110,000 votes (50%). Three other candidates stood in the way of Marceaux.com and victory, but he still has over 1,000 votes so he still stands strong.

  • Norbert

    Have you ever had the feeling that some of your own carping was maybe a little bit kneejerk contrarian / naïve / alarmist / radical / whatever, while you secretly thought things might actually work out somewhat lousy but still in other ways OK-ish in the long run — and then it turns out you were right all along in your relentless negativity and we really are fucked in a big irreversible way?

    sweet dreams! (I suggest something soothing like images of lakes of blood up to a horse’s bridle)


    In Russia, wheat exports you!


  • Jukesgrrl

    “Hey! Honey, did you charge a Sears freezer on our Visa card … and have it shipped to Kiev?”

    [re=633260]chascates[/re]: So I guess we can surmise that 50% of Tennesseans are in favor of traffic stop slavery.

  • WhatTheHeck

    That’s what happens when you fill your silos with nookular missiles instead of wheat in the previous 7 fat years.
    But most of all, this drought is happening because there is a black president in the White House.

  • facehead


  • Butterscotch Stalin

    [re=633260]chascates[/re]: Final tally: 3,503 votes with all precincts reporting.

  • Butterscotch Stalin


  • Frankrig

    Actually represents the purchase price of the grain is only 2-5% of the price you pay for your bread in the shop, it would be far worse if the price of electricity rose …

    Overnatning Frankrig

  • Butterscotch Stalin

    And a reminder: as an independent, June “Lois” Griffin is still in it to win it!

  • Geogre

    What’s really great is that the unreformed coprophages who gave us “derivatives trading” in mortgages and ruined the global economy have switched over to trying to trade wheat. That’s keen!

    Yes, yes indeed.

    Two years ago, they were trying to call, “Corner on oil!” and win the game, but now they’re back to the 1911 version, “Corner on wheat!”

    It’s time to put on Brecht plays.

  • Geogre

    Of course this means that the Kansas senators will be against climate legislation, as well as the Dakotas, because the scarcity will mean goooooold for their farms.

  • Oblios Cap

    Well, at least the Russians have the fires that are incinerating their country to distract them from their wheatlessness.

  • Chernobyl Soup

    Did those people not learn anything from Joseph and the Amazing Technocolor Dreamcoat?

  • TGY

    The sign says ‘In our collective farms, there is no place for priests and Kulaks (rich peasants)’. In case you were wondering. Stalinist.

  • Ducksworthy

    [re=633166]Thugs & Criminals[/re]: I tried to clean a piece of coal once. I scrubbed it and scrubbed it but you know what? It was all this dirty black carbon like stuff. And when I was done there was nothing left.

  • slithytoves

    [re=633317]Chernobyl Soup[/re]: Beautiful

  • Ducksworthy

    [re=633262]Norbert[/re]: Oh Norbert. Why so negative. I’m sure shutting off photosynthesis in the Gulf and releasing thousands of tons of happy warming methane into the atmosphere will put things right in no time.

  • mardam422

    Not connected to Global Warming at all, I’m sure. Nothing to see here. Move along.

  • Nappied Hypotenuse

    Still, I’m glad too see they’re able to socialize the losses at the same time:

    Pressure was also brought to bear by multinational grain trading companies, which have been lobbying for the ban as a way to escape futures contracts drawn up before the drought, when prices were far lower.

    Someone ought to tell them that a contract is a contract.

  • comicbookguy

    I thought global warming was supposed to lead to more plant life, not less. The crack team of “science dudes” at AEI said so!

  • comicbookguy

    [re=633371]Nappied Hypotenuse[/re]: Bust a deal, face the wheel!

  • pub_option

    [re=633148]V572625694[/re]: Drudge is highlighting smog in Moscow, and record cold temperatures in Argentina.

  • artpepper

    The future is Road Warrior. Hoard petrol and gyrocopter parts now.