White House Makes Sure Everyone Knows Obama Doesn’t Support That Crazy ‘Gay Marriage’ Idea

  it's hard out there for a president

Yes, umm, equality. Thanks.President Obama, like many people, was very happy that Proposition 8 was overturned yesterday. But no, that does not mean he supports gay marriage, David Axelrod says. “The president does oppose same-sex marriage, but he supports equality for gay and lesbian couples, and benefits and other issues, and that has been effectuated in federal agencies under his control.” Right.

So “equality” does not mean the ability to get married to one another. That is not part of equality.

People who care about gay rights would like Obama to support gay marriage. People who hate gay rights would like Obama to be shipped back to Kenya in a Kool-Aid pitcher. But Obama wants to get married to both the gay rights people and the anti-gay rights people, so he basically punts on the issue and tries to make both sides love him. But neither will.

Obama thought Proposition 8 was bad because it was “divisive and mean spirited,” Axelrod said. So denying people gay marriage is wrong. But giving people gay marriage is also wrong. Ah, the joys of being president. [The Hill]

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Jack Stuef is your loyal editor and a freelance satirist or something like that. He is a contributing writer for The Onion. E-mail him or whatever.

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