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America needs more lumberjack senatorsRemember sense-making Alabama gubernatorial candidate Tim “son of Fob” James, who won America’s heart — if not enough Alabaman votes — by shuffling around in some big ol’ house, muttering crap about English-only driving tests? James must have forgotten to pay his YouTube user’s fee, because his personal news reel links no longer work! Shucks. But hey, we’ve got some NEW walkers in town — and one’s from “the Sarah Palin state.”

Watch Republican Joe Miller — “the true conservative choice for the U.S. Senate in Alaska” — as he walks around the forest dressed up like Paul Bunyan, complaining about ObamaCare and gun rights and OH YEAH, picking up and holding moose antlers. The antlers are props that he uses to make points about current senator Lisa Murkowski, who “sheds her views” when she goes to Washington. Meeses (and Murkowskis) are slobs:

Meanwhile, in New Hampshire, Republican Senate candidate Jim Bender is also hoping to walk his way to victory by showing voters “his soles” and hanging out with economists who must take jobs as cobblers to make ends meet:

Walking: It still saves money, and it still makes sense (only if you do it in English, though). [Joe Miller/Jim Bender]

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  • Baby who ate the Dingo

    Jim “The Robot” Bender. Wonder if he has beer in his can. The real Bender does. And its in cans.

  • just pixels

    My gods, what happened to the rest of the moose? Oh Bullwinkle, we hardly knew ye.

  • dijetlo

    Those antlers look heavy, where is his Rent Boy?

  • JohnnyMeatworth
  • 13ollocks To The Rules

    Antlers are all that’s left of a moose after a Mama Grizzly has finished with it. Joe Bunyan had better watch out – those bears’ll fuck you up.

  • just pixels

    It’s kinda hard to know which type of conservative to choose in the voting booth. Most seem to be from the “true” wing of the conservative movement. Others from the “most” wing. Some are “committed”. And there is always the “solid” group.

    Mr. Bender is unaffiliated, unless there is an emerging “loafer” branch. (Not to be confused with O’Reilly’s “loofa conservatism”.)

  • JackDempsey

    Last line edited out in Bender spot—

    Shoe repair guy: “Well, then, Jim, seems like those we got a lotta guys walkin’ and bs-in’ these days, and the boys in Bangalore are all backed up. Monsoon season, too. Hows about 3 weeks on this pair?”

  • meufchelou

    How dare he attack Ed Meese’s family?

  • freakishlystrong

    Isn’t walking librul? Don’t wingnuts drive trucks and stuff?

  • 13ollocks To The Rules

    [re=632780]JackDempsey[/re]: Beautiful.

  • Mr Blifil

    Why is he picking up antlers off the ground, and then tossing them back on the ground? IT DOESN’T MAKE SENSE TO ME.

    *

    *

    *

    *

    DOES IT TO YOU?

  • Mr Blifil

    Plus I am moving to New Hampshire because apparently “voters” there aren’t concerned about how they will afford care if they become injured or sick, nor do they mind much when bank profits are shored up using public money. It sounds like a very relaxed place to be. Typically these topics create a fair amount of tension in my mind, and I could use a break.

  • weejee

    All those antlers, is he trying to say he’s horny and want’s to go to DC with all those interns?

  • Weeping Jesus

    What is up with that guy constantly being shown walking toward the camera? I started flinching after the fifth or sixth approach. Very creepy. In other words, perfect.

  • J-Dub

    The most disturbing part of the video is his hair.

  • Katydid

    [re=632796]Mr Blifil[/re]: NH is the “Live Free or Die” state, it’s on their tags, so I don’t know if they’re relaxed or not. It’s a helluva choice.

  • Oblios Cap

    I hates meeses to pieces!

  • edgydrifter

    Woods? No, he’s Alaskan. That’s his kitchen. And those aren’t antlers, they’re his wife. And that isn’t a shirt, it’s artfully dyed but still manly body hair. RAWR!

  • Rev. Peter Lemonjello

    Why are campaign ads looking more like new-hire orientation videos? I miss the days where they just stone scared you shitless about various species of brown people.

  • Baldar T Flagass

    [re=632802]Weeping Jesus[/re]: They stole that shot/effect from the Gilliam/Jones movie when Lancelot was attacking Swamp Castle.

  • ArkansasFred

    Where’s the bomb-assembly shack?

  • Extemporanus

    Jon “I’m a Lumberjack and that’s Okay” Hamm should really consider less fondling of Levi’s thong, and more swallowing of Levi’s load, when shooting his next campaign commercial — I could only make out about half of his mush-mouthed ramble-mumble.

    Timmmbbbbrrrre!!

  • Ducksworthy

    He’s a lumberjack and he’s OK.

  • rmontcal

    I wasn’t sure whether that was an ad for gay lumberjacks until the still show of his ass at the end of it.

  • Neilist

    Speaking of HOMOS getting married in Kalifornia: That Manly Plaid Shirt and beard would get his cock sucked in any bar in the Castro.

    Even without a pre-nuptial agreement.

  • ArkansasFred

    And in re: the New Hampshire ad. We all got the metaphor, Bender. You ruin the subtly when you have too explicitly, and awkwardly, shoehorn in the point that you’re repairing your shoes rather than buying new ones.

  • Ducksworthy

    [re=632821]Extemporanus[/re]: Great minds.
    I’m a lumberjack
    And I’m ok
    I sleep all night and I work all day
    I cut down trees
    I skip and jump
    I like to press wild flowers
    I put on womens’ clothing and hang around in bars

  • Extemporanus

    When I think of Real American Footwear, hand-crafted, cordovan colored, Italian leather slip-on size 7 loafers, with intricate basket weave and tassel-and-fringe detailing, are naturally the first thing that come to mind.

    What’s the matter, Bender? Did your pumps lose a heel?

    MAKES SENSE TO ME…

    .
    .
    .
    .
    .

    DOES IT TO SHOE?

  • La Cieca

    I wore that exact outfit to the Eagle in 1983.

  • FilthyMilk

    It used to be that people thought it was really cool when they found out I was from AK, but now it is a mark of shame to be from the “Sarah Palin State”

  • populucious

    I dunno about this lumberjack thing. He looks like the guy they’re always sending to fetch water or pick up branches…anything to keep him away from the machinery.

  • Extemporanus

    [re=632832]Ducksworthy[/re]: Today, we are all lumberjacks.

    And, according to Judge Vaughn R. Walker, that’s O.K.

    [re=632834]La Cieca[/re]: You made such an impression, they bronzed it and hung it on the door of their walk-in cooler.

    (At least, I assume that’s bronze…)

  • rmjag

    [re=632821]Extemporanus[/re]: he sounded like he had a thong stuffed in his mouth , while levi was still wearing it . impossible to talk much in that condition …

  • smitallica

    “…and now she talks about man-made global warming!”

    Just like every single legitimate climate scientist in the fucking world.

  • rmjag

    [re=632829]Neilist[/re]: the lumberjack look was the mandatory fashion for clones and butch lesbians back in the 1970’s . then it went to lipstick lesbian for both crowds . just waiting for THAT transition in his next vid …………….

  • drftjgoj

    Way to steal my Halloween costume from 5 years ago, jerk.

    http://www.srslyawesomestuff.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/02/brawny-paper.jpg

  • LakeLucilleLoon

    Antlers, meh…Lisa Murkowski walks softly and carries a big fish!

    http://tiny.cc/v4nkr

  • binarian

    [re=632802]Weeping Jesus[/re]: And why always picking up antlers and then tossing them away? Are we to assume all Alaskans have them in their back yard? Subtle metaphor perhaps?……no, that’s ridiculous….

  • sezme

    Using moose antlers as a prop is okay, I suppose. But if you really want to show Alaskans that you are one of them, you should let it be known that you drive a Mercede.

  • dex

    i’m tim james. and i killed bulwinkle.

  • Tundra Grifter

    [re=632774]just pixels[/re]: Thank you, Arthur!

  • Can O Whoopass

    Palin shipped the moose meat to Bush’s arab lovers. She kept the moose wang to be sewn on to Levi.

  • pdiddycornchips

    This election cycle should be a cakewalk for Repubs but they seem intent on missing the opportunity entirely. Is that their roster of candidates or is it a real life version of dinner with schmucks?

  • natteringnabomb

    Looks like Sarah got there first with her M-60.Jeebus that moose is all over the place.

  • Toomush Infermashun

    As I recall:

    Oh, we’re all lumberjacks and we don’t care,

    We like to wear girl’s underwear…

  • rmjag

    [re=632821]Extemporanus[/re]: you’d be mushmouthed too after levi was done fucking your face in that way . i wish i was too .

  • Bitchy Brew

    They both use the same melody for their theme music. Somebody is making a killing recycling music for campaign ads.

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