Everybody Mess With Obama! It's His Birfday

Oh, America, your president turned 49 today! Birthdays are the most important part of our culture, and nothing is going on right now in politics, so of course Obama's "big day" (ugh) is a big deal. CNN decided to mark the occasion by commissioning a cute poll that asked Americans how certain they are that Obama was born in the United States. Only 11% said he DEFINITELY wasn't. Organizing for America has organized for America "parties," which are basically just phone-banking events. But that pissed off some guy at Politico, because ONLY AUTHORITARIAN REGIMES CELEBRATE THEIR LEADER'S BIRTHDAYS. And also the RNC made up some "humorous" online birthday cards.

"5,542 Cards Sent," it says. But the RNC really could've used a copyeditor, such as your Wonkette's Ken Basart, to look these things over, as there is a punctuation error in most of them.

Obama, meanwhile, is not really celebrating his birthday, and that's not just because he's doing the supposedly endearing "oh no, I'm old, I don't like having birthdays" routine.

When President Obama blows out his candles tonight, though, he won't be surrounded by family. His wife, first lady Michelle Obama, and their younger daughter, Sasha, are on a short vacation in Spain. His older daughter, Malia, is away on summer camp.

Just him and a pint of socialist ice cream. Why did his family do this to him? And specifically, why are Michelle and Sasha "Livin' La Vida Loca," booze-and-man-cruising in Spain like women on Sex and the City ? [ CNN / Politico / RNC / ABC ]