oily pelicans

Hooray, The Well Is Dead, For Now!

  • I got more static than Nextel phone serviceBP and the Coast Guard are reporting that the reverse-cowgirl-static-kill-butt-well-plug was successful and that only 25% of the oil spilled is still in the Gulf of Mexico. Time to pop the bubbly and eat some shrimp…oh wait, there’s no shrimp left? Damn. Um, how about some oysters…no oysters? Uh, let’s have crabs, yeah crabs. Oh those are dead too? Fine, I’ll guess I’ll eat cat food. [Boston Globe]
  • Despite all the clamoring about using vessels of opportunity and local fisherman to skim the oil from the Gulf, they only managed to recover 3% of the oil spilled. Check out these sexy oil pie charts. [Deepwater Horizon Response]
  • Oil companies (sans BP) say that they will have a better response system and plan in place for deepwater accidents. They’re wicked sorry they didn’t have plans in place before the Gulf of Mexico died. Next time they’ll do better. [New Orleans Times-Picayune]
  • For their next act, oil companies will take part in the War on Christmas, and pour oil on Santa Claus and Rudolph. [The Nation]
  • Work to clean up the damage from the oil spill will go on for a long, long, time. [Salon]

About the author

As the only libertarian at Wonkette Garrett is often the subject of scorn and ridicule by the rest of the communist staff. When he isn't snapping photos of furries in compromising positions he strings sentences together on Massachusetts politics and culture on Boston.com and is a contributor to WGBH radio & teevee. In addition to media he works for a small family owned environmental contractor in Greater Boston. He religiously supports the United States National Team, Boston Red Sox, and Boston Bruins.

View all articles by Garrett Quinn

Comments

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  • weejee

    Next time they’ll do better
    Will they respect us in the morning? Too, also?

  • SayItWithWookies

    Mmmm…oil pie.

  • germansteel

    Now the only environmental hazard threatening Loserana is Sen. Vitter’s poopy diaper.

  • chascates

    Back to Drill, Baby, Drill?

  • WhatTheHeck

    This is swell, that well no longer has that smell.
    They’ve rung the bell and cried all’s well.
    But please do tell what will the fishermen sell
    now that their livelihoods have gone to hell?

    Ding-dong the well is dead.

  • slappypaddy

    you got a problem with cat food?

  • the problem child

    A problem: 25% of oil is still in the Gulf. 3% was recovered. So 72% is where, exactly? And how fast is it moving? New England and Europe might like to know, Gulf Stream scientists.

  • biscuits

    I think cat food has fish stuff in it too.