With the 2010 elections coming up and the Republicans poised to make real gains, fearless leader Michael Steele has hit upon a clever new strategy: talking to foreign diplomats, who can’t vote, can’t give money to U.S. election campaigns, and can’t be seen interfering in America’s internal political affairs, because their jobs require them to be “diplomatic.” This sort of outside-the-box thinking is exactly why Steele got the RNC job in the first place, and … wait, what? Prominent Republicans are upset about this? What the hell is wrong with them?
Here is the note that RNC finance intern Christopher Kelleher sent to the embassy of some foreign dukedom or other:
As you know, the November election is just 103 days away and the Chairman would like to extend to you an invitation to sit down either at the RNC or at your embassy to discuss the upcoming 2010 midterm elections. With literally hundreds of congressional seats up for grabs in just under four months, Chairman Steel [sic] would love to have the opportunity to discuss the Party’s outlook with you.”
It’s fairly obvious why Michael Steele is doing this, to the consternation of his fellow Republicans: having been stymied by tyranny in his attempt to climb the ladder of political power beyond the “Lieutenant Governor of Maryland” rung, he has decided simply to set up a government in exile, which will seamlessly assume power once the bloody coup has taken place. This government is not based on the outdated and degenerate “constitution,” but on the organizational structure of the Republican National Committee; this means that Steele will simply retain his title of “Chairman” when he becomes American head of state. He also will change the spelling of his last name to “Steel,” because that is more bad-ass. Anyway, like all governments in exile, the RNC is bolstering its credibility by establishing its own diplomatic contacts with foreign powers, a process that will eventually lead to “observer status” at the U.N.
The Politico, the publishing arm of the secret cabal of financiers and Knights Templar that rule the world, has agents in every nation’s diplomatic service, naturally, and thus brought forth this important story. [Politico]