If the leader of one of the world’s eight largest economies was rumored to have engaged in group sex with three prostitutes, that’s “news,” right? What if the leader in question was Silvio Berlusconi? These are the sorts of philosophical conundra you run into in the blogging business. The Silvio-whore connection is well established, which is why this latest news is exciting less for quality than for quantity. And it isn’t even the thing that will result in him maybe losing his job tomorrow!
Maria Teresa De Nicolo is an escort who is snitchin’ to the cops, as if Prime Minister-on-hooker sex is even a crime. She says that a businessman paid to fly her to the Italian capital, where she spent some of the night “In the bed [with] two girls from Rome and Berlusconi.” She also spent “some hours sleeping alone” because of Italy’s strict labor laws. This scandal has completely failed to rock the Italian state to its foundations because, eh, Silvio, you know?
No, the thing that is probably going to bring down the government tomorrow is not Silvio’s dick, but Silvio being a dick. Up until about a year and a half ago, Berlusconi was the head of a political party that was more or less a vehicle for his personality cult. It was called “Forza Italia,” which is what Italians shout at soccer games, and more or less means “Let’s go Italy”; this is the equivalent of an American political party naming itself “USA USA.” In March 2009, Forza Italia merged with the smaller National Alliance, a party that is almost always described with the charming adjective “post-fascist,” to form a larger party with a slightly less dumb name, the People of Freedom.
The merger came about because Berlusconi patched things up with his longtime rival, National Alliance head Gianfranco Fini. This beautiful new friendship ended almost immediately, and now Fini has quit after a “longstanding feud with the premier over [the party's] management” (i.e., he is tired of Berlusconi being a dick) and taken with him about 30 members of parliament, who may or may not vote to kick Berlusconi out of office tomorrow. If they do, there will be another election, which will probably elect Berlusconi again, because honestly who else is there at this point. Love ya, Silvio! [Mail Online/Bloomberg]
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If that was our Hopey, you’d need a larger and longer little red dot…I hope.
Say want you want about the Eye-Tal-E-Ann Army: Their politicians have got ours dicked.
Wait a minute. That’s not what I meant.
No, on second thought, that is what I meant.
[Josh: Next time: Post pictures.]
Here’s proof that a Mussolini without a Hitler is just a harmless whoring buffoon (unless you’re Albania or one of the troops sent to invade Albania, that is). So really, it’s no big deal. I mean, what are the chances of a Hitler emerging in Europe?
Considering the polls coming out of Louisiana, I don’t know if Americans have a right to laugh at Italy if they reelect Silvio.
That red spot must itch like Hell. Try Cruex, Silvio.
I want to party with Silvio… Jeebus
Berlusconi’s slogan will be “a chicken in every pot and three hookers in every bed.”
I loved “The Red Balloon”. Is this a remake?
Silvio? Yawn. The new Aussie PM is openly living in sin and an avowed atheist.
God, this mean has some balls. And I’m not just saying that because they are always on display.
Didn’t know he was japanese.
What’s Silvio worried about? All the 130 or so Italian political parties went out of business last year and he owns all the newspapers and TV stations so keep rockin it man. The only thing he needs to fear is getting clonked on the head with a statue.
Boy, that water musta been cold…
I’m so proud to live in a nation like the United States, where we have an entire political party dedicated to ensuring our morality.
Is “silvio” Italian for “nudist”?
The Dot is some silly censorship, but,
Better Red than Head.
I believe that’s known in Italian as a “mangiare di quattro”.
I had one for lunch yesterday at the Olive Garden, with some garlic bread sticks and a small Caesar salad on the side.
In Italy it is called the “Orange Light Special”
In America, its equivelent is the Krispy Kreme “Hot and Now” sign ablazing.
Why doesn’t Fox News love this guy?
[re=631318]Troubledog[/re]: How can he sin if he’s an atheist?
Don’t believe the reports until they are accompanied by pics of the 4 claw-foot bathtubs, a prerequisite for old person sex.
[re=631329]Sharkey[/re]: Actually “Silvio” is Eye-Tralian for “tree,” or in this case, “wood.”
[re=631347]Fox n Fiends[/re]: Silvio is the Italian Rupert Murdoch, so there’re some issues.
The way this story is stacked right about Michele’s open hands, it seems that the moment is ripe for Silvio to teabag her. If there’s enough there to teabag with. Hmmmm. How much does it take to do a proper teabagging?
[re=631350]JackDempsey[/re]: The Italian Navy docks in Silvio Berlusconi’s bathroom?!
(What is up with the multiple bathtub thing, anyway? Hey Gramps, ditch the cast iron condoms and get a fucking hot tub already!)
Shouldn’t that be “Il Duce Vita”?
[re=631363]Extemporanus[/re]: the bathtub thing—–
I dunno, I haven’t gotten around to reading the package insert.
I always assumed that they’re soaking in Easter egg dyes, so that it looks more attractive down there. Could be wrong.
[re=631363]Extemporanus[/re]: I’m witch you on that. It’s not only the double bathtub thing, but it’s double bathtubs in the middle of nowhere! The only thing that is worse is those smug, self-assured, Lexus wrapped in a huge red bow ads that start in early November.
[re=631318]Troubledog[/re]: AND GOOD YA, MADAME PM!! – AUSSIE AUSSIE AUSSIE OI OI OI!!!!!
Good Morning, Wonkette!
Hey Snowbilly — You want cojones? I got your cojones right here.
Aw, let the Pope run things again. That’ll solve the sex scandal problems.
*hee-hee*
I think Silvio is probably related to the latin for tree/forest/woods. So sort of depends on what’s behind that red dot. From the size of the dot, I’m guessing shrub.
Nice bod.
Brush clearing while on vacation at the ranch–Italian style….
Says he with a wag of the finger: “Non ho avuto sesso con quelle donne!”
For the Italians, sleeping with 3 hookers at once is the best way to confirm your virility at 74 years of age.
[re=631309]Oblios Cap[/re]: Might need some penicillin or acyclovir for a red spot like that…
He might want to get that checked out. My uncle died of crotch dot.
What ever happened to Cicciolina and the International Radical Party?
[re=631348]sezme[/re]: This is the Australian equivalent of the dao of Alvin Greene. She is not to be trifled with.
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