shitpac

Bachmann Finally Starts Her Own Dumb PAC

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Why not? Well, she'll tell you why yes: socialism.The field for the 2012 Republican presidential nomination is getting very crowded with good candidates! The first step, of course, is to set up a Political Action Committee so that you can funnel money to your future campaign and to other politicians you want to buy, and now our pal Michele Bachmann has just done this very thing. It, of course, has a cute name: MICHELEPAC, which is apparently an acronym for “Many Individual Conservatives Helping Elect Leaders Everywhere PAC.” CREEPy!

A website for the PAC, listed on FEC forms, is not yet active.

Damn! We can hardly wait to see it.

But wait a second, is this really the best acronym they could come up with for “MICHELE”? We should all try to come up with some better acronyms to help her out.

Missing
In
Columbia
Hell
Emerges
Lezzing
Eternal

That one tells conservatives what will happen if none of them are in D.C. to stop librul depravity.

Mongrel
In
Chief
Heeds
Engel’s
Layout
Evilly

That one reminds conservatives to be afraid of half-black socialism.

This is easy! It’s as if you just want to have PAC money without putting in any effort, Michele. [CNN]

Sponsored Intermission

About the author

Jack Stuef is your loyal editor and a freelance satirist or something like that. He is a contributing writer for The Onion. E-mail him or whatever.

View all articles by Jack Stuef

Comments

Hey there, Wonkeputians! Shypixel here to remind you to remember our Commenting Rules For Radicals, Enjoy!

  • jus_wonderin

    Some on needs to PAC Michele.

  • GOPCrusher

    Should have went with the obvious, BatshytCrazyPAC.

  • Ducksworthy

    I’m giving money to tarrylclark.com because Michele is like herpes and the Snow Grifter, we’ll always have her regardless of the outcome of any so called election.

  • Business Pyjamas

    Minnesotan
    Idiot
    Can
    Help
    Elect
    Literal
    rEtards

  • eyegoneblack

    Maybe
    I
    Can
    Help
    Elect
    Lizards
    Everywhere

    Hey, this is fun!

  • jus_wonderin

    e

  • Mad Brahms

    Many Ignominious Cunts Elude Landslide Election (or erection?)

  • SmutBoffin

    Bimbos
    Against
    Communism
    Heart <3
    Many
    Angry
    North American
    Nincompoops

    -PAC?

  • Business Pyjamas

    Mighty
    Idiocracy
    Crushing
    Healthcare
    Environment
    Livelihoods and
    Economy

  • JMP

    Make
    Insane
    Congresswoman
    Help
    Everybody
    Laugh in the
    Election

  • Sharkey

    Happy Birthday, Michele PACmann!

  • Sharkey

    See you in Toledo, Punk Ass Conservatives.

  • queeraselvis v 2.0

    Mighty
    Ignorant
    Cunt
    Helps
    Electric
    Lightbulb
    Extinction

    Nevar Forgit!

  • mookworthjwilson

    My
    Immense
    Cock
    Hitting
    Every
    Labia
    Everywhere

  • Come here a minute

    Moron
    Is
    Constructing
    Huge
    Electoral
    Landslides for
    Extremists

  • SayItWithWookies

    Misbegotten Imbeciles Crazily Humping Every Leg Extant

    Maliciously Infectious Crazy Hastening Erosion of Legality and Education

  • Oblios Cap

    My
    Itchy
    Cunt
    Held
    Eleven
    Little
    Embryos

  • Accordion-o-rama

    Minnesotan
    Is
    Causing
    Hillbilly
    Election
    Losses
    Everywhere

  • Chernobyl Soup

    Missus
    I
    Can
    Have
    Extra
    Lithium,
    Eh?

    PAC

  • iburl

    Many
    Ignorant
    Choads
    Help
    Evil
    Little
    Excrements

  • Extemporanus

    [re=631304]Oblios Cap[/re]: Along similar lines:

    My
    Internal
    Clock’s
    Hands
    Eject
    Liberal
    Eggs

  • Aunt Fancy

    My
    Indigenous
    C(K)lan
    Hunts
    Eastern
    Liberal
    Elites

  • ella

    Madame
    Is
    Crazy,
    Hear
    Each
    Lamebrained
    Ejaculation

  • Pop Vulture

    ‘Murkins
    In
    Congress
    Hunting
    Every
    Liberal
    Extremist

    -or-

    Malicious
    Internet
    Commentators
    Hurt
    Everyone’s
    Livelihood
    Everywhere

  • Jumping Jim

    Motley
    Insaniacs
    Curse
    Humping
    Elephants
    Liquidity
    Efforts

  • the problem child

    Morons,
    Idiots,
    Cretins,
    Helped
    Elect
    Lutefisk-for-brains.
    Enough!

  • Sgt. Biyatch

    Morans
    Indiscriminately
    Collecting
    Handouts to
    Elect
    Lying
    Excrement

  • Jumping Jim

    [re=631341]the problem child[/re]: Best Minnesota related acronym!

  • Oblios Cap

    Minnesota’s
    Incompetent
    Congresscritter
    Hopelessly
    Eliciting
    Large
    Envelopes of
    ‘Publican
    Assholes’
    Cash

  • Monsieur Grumpe

    Is she out of the hospital? I figured she had nervous breakdown but that would be redundant.

  • sezme

    MIlky-white
    Inbreds
    Corn
    Holing
    Every
    Liberal
    Elector

  • Hemp Dogbane

    I’m too lazy to write one, so will Minnesota-fy Jack’s:

    Missing
    In
    Columbia
    Heights
    Emerges
    Lezzing
    Eternal

  • Sgt. Biyatch

    [re=631346]Oblios Cap[/re]: Ha. The best submission IMHO.

  • Blogette

    Wonketters’ versions of the MICHELE acronym may have been an unintended consequence of this brilliant plan.

    Now my turn…..erm….here goes:

    Manic
    Insane
    Chronic
    Hellcat
    Everyone
    Loves to
    hatE

  • mumblyjoe

    Megalomaniacs
    Instigating
    Conservative
    Hatred to
    Elicit and
    Legitimize
    Explosions

  • walstib

    I am new to the english but I will try my best:

    C
    U
    N
    T

    Did I do it right?

  • Ducksworthy

    Malicious
    Insane
    Corruption
    Has
    Eviscerated
    Legal
    Elections
    Pudendal
    Anal
    Crack

  • Extemporanus

    I just had an idea: She should change its name to “MS. PACHMANN”.

    “Insert a quarter in my slot…for America!”

    You’re welcome, Michele.

  • Scarab

    Best post thread ever!

  • WhatTheHeck

    Mistreating
    Illegals
    Constantly
    Helps
    Elect
    Loathsome
    Eccentric

  • Dashboard_Buddha

    LMAO…good lord, I was going to tee up with one or two of my own…but the brilliance, the savage brilliance. I can’t…no won’t compete. I’ll just sit here laughing and being grateful.

  • Big Liver

    Mean
    Inside;
    Cunning,
    Hateful-
    Elect!,
    Loathsome
    Extremists!

  • Extemporanus

    [re=631369]walstib[/re]: I just donated a 10″ stack of Ameros to CUNTPAC on your behalf.

  • ella

    [re=631389]Extemporanus[/re]: “35 cents if you want to press the button.”

  • schlock and flaws

    [re=631288]Business Pyjamas[/re]: Bravo, sir/dam, bra-fraking-vo!!

  • chascates

    She doesn’t want anyone to give money to the feds. But you can give money to her.

  • Oblios Cap

    [re=631369]walstib[/re]:

    Perfect!

  • ennui go

    Money
    Invested in
    Crazy
    Hypocritical
    Evil
    Lying
    Egomaniac

  • Sharkey

    [re=631389]Extemporanus[/re]: Does [re=631290]this[/re] look familiar? (Not that I don’t love you.)

  • Extemporanus

    [re=631488]Sharkey[/re]: Awww, dang it! I don’t know what to say!

    (I love you too, man — I guess this really is your week.)

  • mustardman

    That was obviously a typo. It’s many individual CORPORATIONS helping elect leaders everywhere.

  • BarackMyWorld

    Minnesota’s
    Insanest
    Congresswoman
    Has
    Encouraged
    Lunatics
    Everywhere

  • bhosp

    [re=631369]walstib[/re]: Needs more dancing penises with signs.

  • Toomush Infermashun

    Mighty
    Inflated
    Cojones
    Has
    Everywoman
    Looking at
    ‘Er….

  • cockfightbarmitzvah

    Move
    It
    Coconut
    Hobo!
    Everyone
    Loves
    Ecstasy

  • comicbookguy

    They’re helping elect leaders alright. Harry Reid, for example.

  • CommieSynthesizer

    Moronic
    Ignorant
    Conservitards
    Haven’t
    Electability
    Lose
    Elections