MODERN MAJOR GENERALS  4:59 pm August 3, 2010

American Army Hero Tired Of Obama’s 24/7 Racism and Flag Burning

by Riley Waggaman

white people and black people must unite and stop this muslim before it is too lateThere are so few heroes for the young people to look up to these days, what with Lindsay Lohan serving time and more and more Republicans opting for sex scandals involving consensual, heterosexual intercourse and so forth. So who should your children admire? They should admire Major General Jerry R. Curry, the army-man who knows that Barack Obama is black, but note quite black enough. The army-man who is fed up with Barack Obama’s race-baiting, his muslim faith and his non-existent support for the troops. The army-man whose name was selected from a hat to pen this week’s “Real America Will Never Ever Trust Barry Hussein” column for Human Events.

General Curry’s thesis is simple yet elegant: Barack Obama is not from the “hood” like a normal black person should be, which is bad, but he is an Unamerican Ivy League Madrasah-Educated Traitor, which is possibly even worse! Indeed, this conclusion is almost too obvious if we remember that, as the Major General rightly points out, “The ancestors of America’s black population came to this country on slave ships, not on airliners from Kenya.” Surprise surprise, Barack Obama’s ancestors were too elitist to come over on a slave ship. (And wasn’t it airliners from Kenya that did 9/11?)

At any rate, as a Major General it is Jerry Curry’s duty to inform you that Barack Obama is totally and completely unfit for military service, since he is racist against whitey and freedom:

If President Obma were serving in the U.S. Military and the military discovered that for the last twenty years he’d been attending weekly meetings where the leader of the meetings was spewing hate filled anti-American, anti-white rhetoric, the military would immediately cancel his security clearance and unceremoniously kick him out of the service because such a man could never be trusted with the nation’s defense secrets.

The worst part is, the military is not allowed to immediately cancel Barack Obama’s security clearance and then dishonorably discharge him back to Africa because he is sort of like the head general who commands all branches of our country’s armed forces! Oh fuck! [Human Events]

 

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 73 comments }

mumblyjoe August 3, 2010 at 5:06 pm

If President Obma were serving in the U.S. Military and the military discovered that for the last twenty years he’d been attending weekly meetings where the leader of the meetings was spewing hate filled anti-American, anti-white rhetoric, the military would immediately cancel his security clearance and unceremoniously kick him out of the service because such a man could never be trusted with the nation’s defense secrets.

Hahaha, just like all those white supremacists that get summarily kicked out, rather than having a blind eye turned to the fact that they’re gaming the US military to kill brown people for lulz and get free military training, because we’re strapped for manpower because of fighting two simultaneous pointless wars.

Wait, what was my point again?

V572625694 August 3, 2010 at 5:07 pm

If President Obma were serving in the U.S. Military and the military discovered that for the last twenty years he’d been attending weekly meetings where the leader of the meetings was spewing hate filled anti-Black rhetoric, the military would immediately promote him to major general.

Africans brought here as slaves also got a free cruise, albeit with limited perks and midnight buffet.

ExecutorElassus August 3, 2010 at 5:07 pm

But does he know many cheerful facts about the square of the hypotenuse?

What our military needs is more droll dance numbers.

bago August 3, 2010 at 5:08 pm

” It’s as though someone had attended Communist Party political meetings for twenty years and then claimed that since no one had ever publicly uttered the word “Communist” in one of the meetings they couldn’t possibly have been Communist meetings.”

You can’t argue with logic like that.

Randomhookup August 3, 2010 at 5:10 pm

But Barry is the kind of man who can immediately cancel General Curry’s security clearance and unceremoniously kick him out of the service

Troubledog August 3, 2010 at 5:10 pm

Excuse me, General Curry? Your low-rent deep cover mole days are over. Back to the Mandir with you, pisshead. No wonder you hate Muslims.

obfuscator August 3, 2010 at 5:16 pm

sounds like someone’s trying to mcchrystalize himself.

ManchuCandidate August 3, 2010 at 5:17 pm

Shockingly, he’s running for Preznit.

http://www.curryforamerica.com/

Way Cool Larry August 3, 2010 at 5:18 pm

Wow,that’s wingnutty even for Human Events.

Surfeit O'Hubris August 3, 2010 at 5:18 pm

Is this prick active duty? If so, and he hasn’t been shitcanned by the time I hit ‘submit comment’, that’s a problem. General Dipshit needs a more precipitous bum’s rush than Secretary Ballsack dreamed of giving Shirley Sherrod.

JMP August 3, 2010 at 5:19 pm

Not only will these people not stop going on and on about the Rev. Wright bullshit, but now he apparently was Obama’s surrogate father. Ugh.

Oh god, the comments make the article look sane by comparison. Not just birthers, but worse. Did you know that Obama is hiding all the information about his past and killed his secret gay lover to keep him quiet? And one complained the President takes too many vacation; I guess he forgot all about Bush.

And then there’s the annoying popup “Did you enjoy our batshit insanity? Subscribe to our newsletter for more stupidity!”

ph7 August 3, 2010 at 5:19 pm

[re=631419]Way Cool Larry[/re]: And calling Barry a secret muslim and singing a patriotic medley.

AxmxZ August 3, 2010 at 5:20 pm

General Curry might think he’s hot stuff, but he’s just an asshole irritant.

AxmxZ August 3, 2010 at 5:21 pm

[re=631418]ManchuCandidate[/re]: Real America don’t eat no muslin food.

Jukesgrrl August 3, 2010 at 5:22 pm

Is Orly Taitz his lawyer?

armoredbore August 3, 2010 at 5:24 pm

[re=631407]mumblyjoe[/re]: Don’t forget all the rapist thugs!

Ducksworthy August 3, 2010 at 5:27 pm

Unfortunately Maj. Gen. Jerry Curry is not longer active duty military. He is however insane. He was the Paultard choice for pretzeldent. http://www.curryforamerica.com/AboutJerryCurry.htm

inedalo August 3, 2010 at 5:28 pm

does gen. curry eat curry with his rice? a sure sign of unamericanism.

comicbookguy August 3, 2010 at 5:29 pm

“Obama was born just as the civil rights struggle of the 60s was ending”

So the struggle for civil rights ended in 1961? I guess Rand Paul was right, there really was no need for the 1964 civil rights act as the free market was taking care of everything by then.

I had a mixed race classmate in the 1980s and the way our small southern town treated him was just awful. I almost wish they would treat the general like that, see if he thinks it’s a struggle.

Cue Breitbart to start outing active military members who attended black churches, in 3… 2… 1…

charlesdegoal August 3, 2010 at 5:30 pm

Judging by their comments, the Human Events readership is pretty weird, in the fucked up sense.

toooldtocare August 3, 2010 at 5:30 pm

[re=631418]ManchuCandidate[/re]: man, followed the link and just lost my mind. Bought a copy of “The General’s Lady” the memoir of Charlene Curry. I sure hope it has some good sexytime chapters.
Note to self, if your going to drink…..put the damn credit card in a place you can’t find it.

BOOBIES! August 3, 2010 at 5:31 pm

For a bunch of white rednecks who have been stockpiling guns, ammo and paramilitary equipment for decades, they’re sure terrified of one educated black man. What a bunch of pussies.

queeraselvis v 2.0 August 3, 2010 at 5:36 pm

Hmm. Looks like Sexy Jerry got hisself a doctorate in ministry from the Jack Mehoff Online School of Yapping, Rapping, and Fapping to the Gospel. Which explains volumes.

ella August 3, 2010 at 5:41 pm

Dear wingnuts,
He’s president. Suck it up.
xoxo,
ella

El Pinche August 3, 2010 at 5:41 pm

I love that site Human Feces… I mean Human Events. It’s great!

weejee August 3, 2010 at 5:45 pm

Can you trust a General named after some Indian hot sauce? Iffin’ its hot sauce, its gotta be Messican! Ergot, this slug has to be an illegal of some kind and should be immediately deported to Cuba, or at least Jersey City or Sheboygan. The end.

Minority Whips are Racist August 3, 2010 at 5:56 pm

So, according to General Curry, there isn’t a single member of the US military that attends Trinity United Church of Christ?

juwee August 3, 2010 at 5:58 pm

http://www.curryforamerica.com/

Check out the sweet font and use of the ~ key.

comicbookguy August 3, 2010 at 5:59 pm

[re=631439]BOOBIES![/re]: A bunch of rednecks armed to the teeth, scared of an educated black man? Welcome to the Deep South.

american mutt August 3, 2010 at 6:00 pm

I’m fucking fed up with this false anti-white bullshit. – often attributed to some non-existent anti-white rhetoric from Wright. Calling a black church racist because it’s black is like calling the civil rights movement racist because it had blacks.

thewarmingsun August 3, 2010 at 6:04 pm

He obviously hates the troops; that’s why he’s going to keep them in Afghanistan forever. Pretty soon, they will all turn into muslims and then they will come back to America and impose sharia law on everyone, especially Texans. Those Texans are going to get sharia law all over their FACES! So grody!

Surfeit O'Hubris August 3, 2010 at 6:04 pm

[re=631457]Minority Whips are Racist[/re]: I believe the pastor is a decorated veteran (retired). Funny how that veteran’s intemperate remarks are destroying Amerka and Freedumb, while General Curry’s are jus’ dandy.

chascates August 3, 2010 at 6:08 pm

[re=631418]ManchuCandidate[/re], [re=631432]Ducksworthy[/re]:
Jerry R. Curry was born in Liberty, Pennsylvania, to father Jesse Aaron Curry, a steel worker and part-time farmer, and to mother Reverend Marion Mercer Shiflet Curry.

Now, that’s a mutha!

WhatTheHeck August 3, 2010 at 6:08 pm

Just a wild guess, but I would say the general and his followers pay no taxes, distrust the Federal government, but love their guns. Especially love their guns. Are uneducated, but go to church regularly. And just possibly have issues with people with too much pigment. Ok. A lot of issues with pigment.

Extemporanus August 3, 2010 at 6:09 pm

“The ancestors of America’s black population came to this country on slave ships, not on airliners from Kenya.”

General Curry obviously has no idea what he’s talking about — Amistad Airlines has the lowest customer satisfaction rating in the industry. They even charge passengers for their own manacles! Their own fucking manacles!

Can you believe that shit?!

“You are not free to move about the cabin. Please return your seats to their upright and locked position…AND FLAP HARDER!”

Oblios Cap August 3, 2010 at 6:11 pm

I’d like to think people might take a long, hard look at their slavish worship of the military because of this kind of shit.

But that won’t happen. But it’s kind of fun to see the generals comitting seppuku.

sati demise August 3, 2010 at 6:12 pm

[re=631422]JMP[/re]: most wing nuts dont realize that the majority of people go to church and doze through the sermon. they are just there to socialize not learn crap about god and stuff. Or their sig. other makes them go and they wear ear plugs. The free babysitting is another big, big draw.

queeraselvis v 2.0 August 3, 2010 at 6:13 pm

[re=631472]WhatTheHeck[/re]: You would be right, except that the general himself has a bit of a pigment problem.

chascates August 3, 2010 at 6:13 pm

Wow! Private-to-Major General Curry has a doctorate from Luther Rice University & the only doctorate they offer is one in Ministry. Beat that, Mike Huckabee!

mookworthjwilson August 3, 2010 at 6:16 pm

I never knew Uncle Ruckus was a general… http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Uncle_Ruckus

steverino247 August 3, 2010 at 6:22 pm

As a general officer, he is subject to recall. So, recall him and put him in charge of some menial task at the White House. He will be again on active duty and unable to spout his bullshit anymore. Done.

Next problem?

WhatTheHeck August 3, 2010 at 6:26 pm

[re=631477]queeraselvis v 2.0[/re]: True. But these pigments are more equal than other pigments.

comicbookguy August 3, 2010 at 6:34 pm

[re=631481]steverino247[/re]: I would suggest active duty as the President’s personal ball washer.

just pixels August 3, 2010 at 6:34 pm

[re=631418]ManchuCandidate[/re]: Running for President without a “smokin’ hot wife”? I don’t think so.

According to Curry, Iraq had tons of yellow cake which Bush secretly air- and sea-lifted to Canada. Bush kept quiet about it so the terrorists wouldn’t know we got the stuff out from under their noses. Writing in 2008, “…now it turns out that, yes, there were weapons of mass destruction”. Thanks for spilling the beans General Curry! You’re a regular one man WikiLeaks.

spanielmander August 3, 2010 at 6:36 pm

I wasn’t aware that the military could discharge you if they didn’t like the church you used to go to. Thanks, General, for teaching me about my beloved America!

doxastic August 3, 2010 at 6:56 pm

It was Major General Curry, in Human Events, with the racism.

Scarab August 3, 2010 at 7:05 pm

If President Obma were serving in the U.S. Military and the military discovered that for the last twenty years he’d been vivisecting choir boys in his basement they would kick him out.

What? I said if.

Bearbloke August 3, 2010 at 7:07 pm

[re=631413]Randomhookup[/re]: [re=631440]queeraselvis v 2.0[/re]: It’s the “Top Military School of 2010″ doncha know… you can’t have Yank officers attending some Muslim madrassa like MIT or anything…

mustardman August 3, 2010 at 7:29 pm

Ever heard of Sausage and pancakes on a stick? This douche is asshole fuckhead on a stick.

Bearbloke August 3, 2010 at 7:33 pm

[re=631477]queeraselvis v 2.0[/re]: [re=631414]Troubledog[/re]: [re=631426]AxmxZ[/re]: Well, what else would you expect from a Coloured Neegrow Dothead Injun like ol’Curry-breath here…

mumblyjoe August 3, 2010 at 7:33 pm

[re=631487]just pixels[/re]: Well, there was yellowcake, it was just under IAEA lock and key, and had been for decades, context which Curry conveniently neglected to mention. Also, even if his innuendo were true, being unenriched Uranium, it’s kinda dinky and useless for weapons, or even for nuclear fuel, until it’s refined, which is an arduous and difficult process that represents the real hurdle for aspiring nuclear powers.

The reason the fictional Niger yellowcake was supposed to be so scary, other than being African, was the implication that Saddam was smuggling it in, to use, presumably for making illicit weapons. It would have constituted circumstantial evidence that Iraq was interested in making things with Uranium, which is only an interesting detail in-context. If said Niger yellowcake had existed, that is, which it didn’t, it ends up.

Johnny Zhivago August 3, 2010 at 7:54 pm

The guy may be a nut, but he has a fine singing voice:

http://www.curryforamerica.com/audio/PatrioticMedley.mp3

Johnny Zhivago August 3, 2010 at 8:02 pm

Before the Korean War came along and changed everything, Jerry, a dramatic operatic baritone, seriously considered pursuing a singing career. Over the years he has sung with myriad choral groups and in concert in Europe, the United States, the Far East and Brazil. His operatic CD Generally Singing, available through Amazon.com, has been well received.

>>>> Amazon Bestsellers Rank: #526,039 in Music (See Top 100 in Music)

BarackMyWorld August 3, 2010 at 8:08 pm

Wow…I had no idea Obama’s father was a native African, or that he went to a controversial black church. Man, if only someone had brought this up before the election.

american mutt August 3, 2010 at 8:12 pm

[re=631519]BarackMyWorld[/re]: IF ONLY!

rambone August 3, 2010 at 8:14 pm

[re=631407]mumblyjoe[/re]: http://www.salon.com/news/feature/2009/06/15/neo_nazis_army

Nope, definitely no racists in the Army right now . . .

Advocatus_Diaboli August 3, 2010 at 8:15 pm

so when does the major asshole general ship out? Must be scary for himher. I bet his maniless her panties will be truly tested in his her upcoming deployment. fucking pansy.

Redhead August 3, 2010 at 9:18 pm

Wait, Reverend Wright? Extremist church? But I thought Obama was a MUSLIN! Does his hypocrisy know no bounds?

AddHomonym August 3, 2010 at 9:25 pm

Mr. Fancypants Major General is also a PhD, so he’s a DOCTOR! Which makes it all the more weird that he chose to spend his time writing about some guy named Barak Obama. I have no idea who that is.

Sparky McGruff August 3, 2010 at 10:17 pm

The pitcher needs moor darkeneeng. Obamar ain’t black enuf.

Beowoof August 3, 2010 at 10:49 pm

General Buck Turgidson lives and he is only trying to protect our precious bodily fluids from them mooslems.

President Beeblebrox August 3, 2010 at 11:26 pm

I hear shit like this, and all I can think of is Slim Pickens playing Major T.J. “King” Kong aboard the B-52… i.e., a slave to paranoia…

Survival kit contents check. In them you’ll find: one .45 caliber automatic; two boxes of ammunition; four days concentrated emergency raisons; one drug issue containing: antibiotics, morphine, vitamin pills, pep pills, sleeping pills, tranquilizer pills; one miniature combination Russian phrase book and bible; one hundred dollars in rubles; one hundred dollars in gold; nine packs of chewing gum; one issue of prophylactics; three lipsticks; three pair a nylon stockings. Shoot, a fellah could have a pretty good weekend in Vegas with all that stuff.

zhubajie August 4, 2010 at 1:55 am

[re=631438]toooldtocare[/re]: Don’t buy, borrow! Or wait for it to turn up on the 50 cent shelf at Good Will.

Der McKampf August 4, 2010 at 2:53 am

[re=631471]chascates[/re]:

What the hell is a part time farmer? I worked on a farm, and it’s many things, but part time it aint.

Tilkaratansomy August 4, 2010 at 7:41 am

Yes, America wants some change so please if you have some ideas so please tell here…and post some views……..

Bactium

Geogre August 4, 2010 at 8:12 am

[re=631527]rambone[/re]: Indeed, and the Oath Keepers don’t exist, either.

From America’s prisons to America’s armed forces, a pipeline of “volunteers.” Hooray!

DHS’s report was right.

Sparky McGruff August 4, 2010 at 8:19 am

[re=631626]Der McKampf[/re]: If it’s “part time”, that means he’s got more than a few of them dark skinned illegals picking up the slack.

Tcaalaw August 4, 2010 at 9:16 am

[re=631432]Ducksworthy[/re]: Unfortunately Maj. Gen. Jerry Curry is not longer active duty military. He is however insane. He was the Paultard choice for pretzeldent.

That third sentence is absolutely wrong (Curry is a huge Iraq War supporter, which is basically anti-matter to the central viewpoint of “Paultards”), but feel free to keep making sh!t up.

morecowbell August 4, 2010 at 9:20 am

[re=631422]JMP[/re]: an especially annoying pop-up, because you hit the back button, and there it is.

themercenary August 4, 2010 at 10:43 am

@ManchuCandidate
I highly recommend clicking on the link to hear him sing a patriotic medley. If you can stomach that kind of thing early in the day. It’s no “Let the Eagle Soar,” but it is still pretty wingnut-tastic.

notreallyhelping August 4, 2010 at 11:46 am

I loved this guy in “American Beauty.”

Pandy August 4, 2010 at 1:01 pm

[re=631640]Geogre[/re]: And from the armed forced to federal jobs that they are given preference on when applying. Scary.

Libbygirl August 4, 2010 at 4:43 pm

[re=631475]Oblios Cap[/re]: “I’d like to think people might take a long, hard look at their slavish worship of the military because of this kind of shit…”

May I confess something to my fellow Wonketters/Wonketteers/Whatever?
There was no draft. So the young people who signed up SIGNED UP VOLUNTARILY. So how much sympathy am I supposed to have for some kid who was just itchin to go to a ferrin’ land and kill “towelheads”/brown people? Who thought that real war would be just like their video game versions and would be fun fun fun, blowing people & shit up? Who didn’t question what countries we were invading and the whole “purpose” of these two idiotic exercises in futility?

And I’m supposed to look at these people and think “MY WHAT A HERO!”…?

Sorry, I know that jobs are scarce, times are tough, and some people really do feel a calling. But I doubt that applies for every kid over there. Some of them, dare I say it, are stupid, gloryhounding children with a violent streak. UGH

End of my pointless rant.Time to drink.

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