American Army Hero Tired Of Obama’s 24/7 Racism and Flag Burning

  modern major generals

white people and black people must unite and stop this muslim before it is too lateThere are so few heroes for the young people to look up to these days, what with Lindsay Lohan serving time and more and more Republicans opting for sex scandals involving consensual, heterosexual intercourse and so forth. So who should your children admire? They should admire Major General Jerry R. Curry, the army-man who knows that Barack Obama is black, but note quite black enough. The army-man who is fed up with Barack Obama’s race-baiting, his muslim faith and his non-existent support for the troops. The army-man whose name was selected from a hat to pen this week’s “Real America Will Never Ever Trust Barry Hussein” column for Human Events.

General Curry’s thesis is simple yet elegant: Barack Obama is not from the “hood” like a normal black person should be, which is bad, but he is an Unamerican Ivy League Madrasah-Educated Traitor, which is possibly even worse! Indeed, this conclusion is almost too obvious if we remember that, as the Major General rightly points out, “The ancestors of America’s black population came to this country on slave ships, not on airliners from Kenya.” Surprise surprise, Barack Obama’s ancestors were too elitist to come over on a slave ship. (And wasn’t it airliners from Kenya that did 9/11?)

At any rate, as a Major General it is Jerry Curry’s duty to inform you that Barack Obama is totally and completely unfit for military service, since he is racist against whitey and freedom:

If President Obma were serving in the U.S. Military and the military discovered that for the last twenty years he’d been attending weekly meetings where the leader of the meetings was spewing hate filled anti-American, anti-white rhetoric, the military would immediately cancel his security clearance and unceremoniously kick him out of the service because such a man could never be trusted with the nation’s defense secrets.

The worst part is, the military is not allowed to immediately cancel Barack Obama’s security clearance and then dishonorably discharge him back to Africa because he is sort of like the head general who commands all branches of our country’s armed forces! Oh fuck! [Human Events]

Share This
 
Related video

About the author

Riley is an "internet blogger." He has written for such internet websites as True/Slant and the terrible Brangelina gossip emporium "The Huffington Post." Riley lives in northeast DC, near H Street. Maybe you do too and want to hang out?

View all articles by Riley Waggaman

Hola wonkerados.

To improve site performance, we did a thing. It could be up to three minutes before your comment appears. DON'T KEEP RETRYING, OKAY?

Also, if you are a new commenter, your comment may never appear. This is probably because we hate you.

73 comments

  1. mumblyjoe

    If President Obma were serving in the U.S. Military and the military discovered that for the last twenty years he’d been attending weekly meetings where the leader of the meetings was spewing hate filled anti-American, anti-white rhetoric, the military would immediately cancel his security clearance and unceremoniously kick him out of the service because such a man could never be trusted with the nation’s defense secrets.

    Hahaha, just like all those white supremacists that get summarily kicked out, rather than having a blind eye turned to the fact that they’re gaming the US military to kill brown people for lulz and get free military training, because we’re strapped for manpower because of fighting two simultaneous pointless wars.

    Wait, what was my point again?

  2. V572625694

    If President Obma were serving in the U.S. Military and the military discovered that for the last twenty years he’d been attending weekly meetings where the leader of the meetings was spewing hate filled anti-Black rhetoric, the military would immediately promote him to major general.

    Africans brought here as slaves also got a free cruise, albeit with limited perks and midnight buffet.

  3. ExecutorElassus

    But does he know many cheerful facts about the square of the hypotenuse?

    What our military needs is more droll dance numbers.

  4. bago

    ” It’s as though someone had attended Communist Party political meetings for twenty years and then claimed that since no one had ever publicly uttered the word “Communist” in one of the meetings they couldn’t possibly have been Communist meetings.”

    You can’t argue with logic like that.

  5. Randomhookup

    But Barry is the kind of man who can immediately cancel General Curry’s security clearance and unceremoniously kick him out of the service

  6. Troubledog

    Excuse me, General Curry? Your low-rent deep cover mole days are over. Back to the Mandir with you, pisshead. No wonder you hate Muslims.

  7. Surfeit O'Hubris

    Is this prick active duty? If so, and he hasn’t been shitcanned by the time I hit ‘submit comment’, that’s a problem. General Dipshit needs a more precipitous bum’s rush than Secretary Ballsack dreamed of giving Shirley Sherrod.

  8. JMP

    Not only will these people not stop going on and on about the Rev. Wright bullshit, but now he apparently was Obama’s surrogate father. Ugh.

    Oh god, the comments make the article look sane by comparison. Not just birthers, but worse. Did you know that Obama is hiding all the information about his past and killed his secret gay lover to keep him quiet? And one complained the President takes too many vacation; I guess he forgot all about Bush.

    And then there’s the annoying popup “Did you enjoy our batshit insanity? Subscribe to our newsletter for more stupidity!”

  9. comicbookguy

    “Obama was born just as the civil rights struggle of the 60s was ending”

    So the struggle for civil rights ended in 1961? I guess Rand Paul was right, there really was no need for the 1964 civil rights act as the free market was taking care of everything by then.

    I had a mixed race classmate in the 1980s and the way our small southern town treated him was just awful. I almost wish they would treat the general like that, see if he thinks it’s a struggle.

    Cue Breitbart to start outing active military members who attended black churches, in 3… 2… 1…

  10. charlesdegoal

    Judging by their comments, the Human Events readership is pretty weird, in the fucked up sense.

  11. toooldtocare

    [re=631418]ManchuCandidate[/re]: man, followed the link and just lost my mind. Bought a copy of “The General’s Lady” the memoir of Charlene Curry. I sure hope it has some good sexytime chapters.
    Note to self, if your going to drink…..put the damn credit card in a place you can’t find it.

  12. BOOBIES!

    For a bunch of white rednecks who have been stockpiling guns, ammo and paramilitary equipment for decades, they’re sure terrified of one educated black man. What a bunch of pussies.

  13. weejee

    Can you trust a General named after some Indian hot sauce? Iffin’ its hot sauce, its gotta be Messican! Ergot, this slug has to be an illegal of some kind and should be immediately deported to Cuba, or at least Jersey City or Sheboygan. The end.

  14. Minority Whips are Racist

    So, according to General Curry, there isn’t a single member of the US military that attends Trinity United Church of Christ?

  15. comicbookguy

    [re=631439]BOOBIES![/re]: A bunch of rednecks armed to the teeth, scared of an educated black man? Welcome to the Deep South.

  16. american mutt

    I’m fucking fed up with this false anti-white bullshit. – often attributed to some non-existent anti-white rhetoric from Wright. Calling a black church racist because it’s black is like calling the civil rights movement racist because it had blacks.

  17. thewarmingsun

    He obviously hates the troops; that’s why he’s going to keep them in Afghanistan forever. Pretty soon, they will all turn into muslims and then they will come back to America and impose sharia law on everyone, especially Texans. Those Texans are going to get sharia law all over their FACES! So grody!

  18. Surfeit O'Hubris

    [re=631457]Minority Whips are Racist[/re]: I believe the pastor is a decorated veteran (retired). Funny how that veteran’s intemperate remarks are destroying Amerka and Freedumb, while General Curry’s are jus’ dandy.

  19. chascates

    [re=631418]ManchuCandidate[/re], [re=631432]Ducksworthy[/re]:
    Jerry R. Curry was born in Liberty, Pennsylvania, to father Jesse Aaron Curry, a steel worker and part-time farmer, and to mother Reverend Marion Mercer Shiflet Curry.

    Now, that’s a mutha!

  20. WhatTheHeck

    Just a wild guess, but I would say the general and his followers pay no taxes, distrust the Federal government, but love their guns. Especially love their guns. Are uneducated, but go to church regularly. And just possibly have issues with people with too much pigment. Ok. A lot of issues with pigment.

  21. Extemporanus

    “The ancestors of America’s black population came to this country on slave ships, not on airliners from Kenya.”

    General Curry obviously has no idea what he’s talking about — Amistad Airlines has the lowest customer satisfaction rating in the industry. They even charge passengers for their own manacles! Their own fucking manacles!

    Can you believe that shit?!

    “You are not free to move about the cabin. Please return your seats to their upright and locked position…AND FLAP HARDER!”

  22. Oblios Cap

    I’d like to think people might take a long, hard look at their slavish worship of the military because of this kind of shit.

    But that won’t happen. But it’s kind of fun to see the generals comitting seppuku.

  23. sati demise

    [re=631422]JMP[/re]: most wing nuts dont realize that the majority of people go to church and doze through the sermon. they are just there to socialize not learn crap about god and stuff. Or their sig. other makes them go and they wear ear plugs. The free babysitting is another big, big draw.

  24. queeraselvis v 2.0

    [re=631472]WhatTheHeck[/re]: You would be right, except that the general himself has a bit of a pigment problem.

  25. chascates

    Wow! Private-to-Major General Curry has a doctorate from Luther Rice University & the only doctorate they offer is one in Ministry. Beat that, Mike Huckabee!

  26. steverino247

    As a general officer, he is subject to recall. So, recall him and put him in charge of some menial task at the White House. He will be again on active duty and unable to spout his bullshit anymore. Done.

    Next problem?

  27. WhatTheHeck

    [re=631477]queeraselvis v 2.0[/re]: True. But these pigments are more equal than other pigments.

  28. comicbookguy

    [re=631481]steverino247[/re]: I would suggest active duty as the President’s personal ball washer.

  29. just pixels

    [re=631418]ManchuCandidate[/re]: Running for President without a “smokin’ hot wife”? I don’t think so.

    According to Curry, Iraq had tons of yellow cake which Bush secretly air- and sea-lifted to Canada. Bush kept quiet about it so the terrorists wouldn’t know we got the stuff out from under their noses. Writing in 2008, “…now it turns out that, yes, there were weapons of mass destruction”. Thanks for spilling the beans General Curry! You’re a regular one man WikiLeaks.

  30. spanielmander

    I wasn’t aware that the military could discharge you if they didn’t like the church you used to go to. Thanks, General, for teaching me about my beloved America!

  31. Scarab

    If President Obma were serving in the U.S. Military and the military discovered that for the last twenty years he’d been vivisecting choir boys in his basement they would kick him out.

    What? I said if.

  32. mustardman

    Ever heard of Sausage and pancakes on a stick? This douche is asshole fuckhead on a stick.

  33. mumblyjoe

    [re=631487]just pixels[/re]: Well, there was yellowcake, it was just under IAEA lock and key, and had been for decades, context which Curry conveniently neglected to mention. Also, even if his innuendo were true, being unenriched Uranium, it’s kinda dinky and useless for weapons, or even for nuclear fuel, until it’s refined, which is an arduous and difficult process that represents the real hurdle for aspiring nuclear powers.

    The reason the fictional Niger yellowcake was supposed to be so scary, other than being African, was the implication that Saddam was smuggling it in, to use, presumably for making illicit weapons. It would have constituted circumstantial evidence that Iraq was interested in making things with Uranium, which is only an interesting detail in-context. If said Niger yellowcake had existed, that is, which it didn’t, it ends up.

  34. Johnny Zhivago

    Before the Korean War came along and changed everything, Jerry, a dramatic operatic baritone, seriously considered pursuing a singing career. Over the years he has sung with myriad choral groups and in concert in Europe, the United States, the Far East and Brazil. His operatic CD Generally Singing, available through Amazon.com, has been well received.

    >>>> Amazon Bestsellers Rank: #526,039 in Music (See Top 100 in Music)

  35. BarackMyWorld

    Wow…I had no idea Obama’s father was a native African, or that he went to a controversial black church. Man, if only someone had brought this up before the election.

  36. Advocatus_Diaboli

    so when does the major asshole general ship out? Must be scary for himher. I bet his maniless her panties will be truly tested in his her upcoming deployment. fucking pansy.

  37. Redhead

    Wait, Reverend Wright? Extremist church? But I thought Obama was a MUSLIN! Does his hypocrisy know no bounds?

  38. AddHomonym

    Mr. Fancypants Major General is also a PhD, so he’s a DOCTOR! Which makes it all the more weird that he chose to spend his time writing about some guy named Barak Obama. I have no idea who that is.

  39. Beowoof

    General Buck Turgidson lives and he is only trying to protect our precious bodily fluids from them mooslems.

  40. President Beeblebrox

    I hear shit like this, and all I can think of is Slim Pickens playing Major T.J. “King” Kong aboard the B-52… i.e., a slave to paranoia…

    Survival kit contents check. In them you’ll find: one .45 caliber automatic; two boxes of ammunition; four days concentrated emergency raisons; one drug issue containing: antibiotics, morphine, vitamin pills, pep pills, sleeping pills, tranquilizer pills; one miniature combination Russian phrase book and bible; one hundred dollars in rubles; one hundred dollars in gold; nine packs of chewing gum; one issue of prophylactics; three lipsticks; three pair a nylon stockings. Shoot, a fellah could have a pretty good weekend in Vegas with all that stuff.

  41. zhubajie

    [re=631438]toooldtocare[/re]: Don’t buy, borrow! Or wait for it to turn up on the 50 cent shelf at Good Will.

  42. Der McKampf

    [re=631471]chascates[/re]:

    What the hell is a part time farmer? I worked on a farm, and it’s many things, but part time it aint.

  43. Tilkaratansomy

    Yes, America wants some change so please if you have some ideas so please tell here…and post some views……..

    Bactium

  44. Geogre

    [re=631527]rambone[/re]: Indeed, and the Oath Keepers don’t exist, either.

    From America’s prisons to America’s armed forces, a pipeline of “volunteers.” Hooray!

    DHS’s report was right.

  45. Sparky McGruff

    [re=631626]Der McKampf[/re]: If it’s “part time”, that means he’s got more than a few of them dark skinned illegals picking up the slack.

  46. Tcaalaw

    [re=631432]Ducksworthy[/re]: Unfortunately Maj. Gen. Jerry Curry is not longer active duty military. He is however insane. He was the Paultard choice for pretzeldent.

    That third sentence is absolutely wrong (Curry is a huge Iraq War supporter, which is basically anti-matter to the central viewpoint of “Paultards”), but feel free to keep making sh!t up.

  47. morecowbell

    [re=631422]JMP[/re]: an especially annoying pop-up, because you hit the back button, and there it is.

  48. themercenary

    @ManchuCandidate
    I highly recommend clicking on the link to hear him sing a patriotic medley. If you can stomach that kind of thing early in the day. It’s no “Let the Eagle Soar,” but it is still pretty wingnut-tastic.

  49. Pandy

    [re=631640]Geogre[/re]: And from the armed forced to federal jobs that they are given preference on when applying. Scary.

  50. Libbygirl

    [re=631475]Oblios Cap[/re]: “I’d like to think people might take a long, hard look at their slavish worship of the military because of this kind of shit…”

    May I confess something to my fellow Wonketters/Wonketteers/Whatever?
    There was no draft. So the young people who signed up SIGNED UP VOLUNTARILY. So how much sympathy am I supposed to have for some kid who was just itchin to go to a ferrin’ land and kill “towelheads”/brown people? Who thought that real war would be just like their video game versions and would be fun fun fun, blowing people & shit up? Who didn’t question what countries we were invading and the whole “purpose” of these two idiotic exercises in futility?

    And I’m supposed to look at these people and think “MY WHAT A HERO!”…?

    Sorry, I know that jobs are scarce, times are tough, and some people really do feel a calling. But I doubt that applies for every kid over there. Some of them, dare I say it, are stupid, gloryhounding children with a violent streak. UGH

    End of my pointless rant.Time to drink.

Comments are closed.