ARLEN SPECTER'S LONELY HEARTS CLUB BAND  2:01 pm August 3, 2010

Republican Legislators To Repeal Fourteenth Amendment, Making Things Yet Again More Awkward For John McCain

by Jack Stuef

Young John McCain, from Young John McCain: The Animated Series, is judging you.Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell has decided to join his party’s greatest thinkers in their innovative new idea to change the Constitution to repeal the part of the 142-year-old Fourteenth Amendment that children born in the United States are citizens. “I haven’t made a final decision about it, but that’s something that we clearly need to look at. Regardless of how you feel about the various aspects of immigration reform, I don’t think anybody thinks that’s something they’re comfortable with.” Except, perhaps, Americans born in the U.S. who are from immigrant families are comfortable with it. Oh, are those not people? Then let us note that basically all Americans have lived comfortably with that part of the Constitution for 142 years. Anyway, the important thing is the comical lengths John McCain took to try not to have to support this crazy idea.

“We’re talking about the stimulus right now,” McCain said, before darting off to the elevators down the hall from the Senate studio, where he again declined to take a question. Reporters eventually caught up with McCain in the basement of the Capitol, where he was walking toward to the man-operated train connecting the Senate with the Russell office building.

TPMDC asked, “Do you support the Minority Leader’s push for hearings into the repeal of birthright citizenship?”

“Sure, why not?” McCain said briefly.

“Do you support the idea itself?”

“I support the idea of having hearings,” McCain said.

“Do you have a problem with the 14th amendment?” another reporter asked.

“You’re changing the constitution of the United States,” McCain said. “I support the concept of holding hearings.”

“I support the concept of holding hearings,” McCain repeated, turning to the rail car conductor.

“Let’s go!” he snapped.

In general, watching McCain completely shed every fiber of his convictions is both sad and funny, but this particular anecdote is just funny. Hengh! We should umm—MOVE IT, BOY—hengh, hengh, umm, hearings. Hengh! Hengh! [The Hill/TPM]

 
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{ 81 comments }

Judas Peckerwood August 3, 2010 at 2:07 pm

Wait, wasn’t this essentially the same pack of yahoos who just a few years ago wanted to change the Constitution in the other direction — so that the Governator could become president?

Manos: Hands of Fate August 3, 2010 at 2:07 pm

Way to end your career on the shithead side of things Walnuts.

norbizness August 3, 2010 at 2:10 pm

I thought that he was great-great-great-great-great-grandfathered in pursuant to the Treaty of Tripoli pertaining to former possessions of the Ottoman Empire.

Serolf Divad August 3, 2010 at 2:11 pm

Nice… John McCain wasn’t even born in the U.S. but got to run for president. And yet here he is refusing to openly oppose a law that would deny citizenship to people who acutally were born on U.S. soil.

Come on everybody, join in with me: “Let’s make America WHITE again! Yeeee haaaar!”

SmutBoffin August 3, 2010 at 2:12 pm

That McCain, he likes the discourse and meta-discourse involved in runnign a gov’t, but doesn’t really support doing anything, unless it is bombing near-, middle-, and far-east nations.

Sharkey August 3, 2010 at 2:12 pm

Would he support the concept of having hearings to repeal the second amendment?

actor212 August 3, 2010 at 2:12 pm

What? No “Hey, you reporters! Get off my lawn!”?

Ruhe August 3, 2010 at 2:13 pm

[re=631200]Judas Peckerwood[/re]: Now that they know Arnold has a little bit of a brain they wouldn’t want him anymore anyway.

Neilist August 3, 2010 at 2:13 pm

From Wikipedia:

John McCain was born on August 29, 1936 at Coco Solo Naval Air Station in the Panama Canal Zone, to naval officer John S. McCain, Jr. (1911–1981) and Roberta (Wright) McCain (b. 1912).[2] At that time, the Panama Canal was under U.S. control.

I’m not an expert on extraterritoriality. (Yes, yes, I know: hard to believe Neilist doesn’t know something.) But my recollection is that U.S. military installations overseas are not considered sovereign territory of the United States for the purposes of citizenship, etc.

John “El Chico Walnuts” McCain: Panamanian Wetback.

JMP August 3, 2010 at 2:13 pm

I’m John McCain, and I approve of holding hearings on whether or not to approve this message.

Cape Clod August 3, 2010 at 2:14 pm

“where he was walking toward to the man-operated train connecting the Senate with the Russell office building.”

Is that like the Flinstones’ car?

KvP August 3, 2010 at 2:14 pm

Wasn’t this one of Big Daddy Paul’s ReLOVEution campaign promises? Who knew that after 2 years of living under a black president, the GOP would so openly imbibe the crazy juice?

chascates August 3, 2010 at 2:15 pm

Doesn’t McCain have a private railway car? How embarrassing.

weejee August 3, 2010 at 2:18 pm

Let’s dig-up up the former Junior Senator from Wisconsin, Joe McCarthy, and the former Senior Senator from South Carolina, Strom Thrumond. Then have a taxidermist stuff them both and drag the stuffies back to the Capital Capitol to serve as honorary chairs. Sweet baby Jeebus weeps.

Extemporanus August 3, 2010 at 2:20 pm

After all these years, John McCain has finally figured out a way to get rid of that Bangladeshi bazar trinket Cindy smuggled back to the States in a half-empty jug of Vicodin.

queeraselvis v 2.0 August 3, 2010 at 2:20 pm

What? No “Let’s go, you cunty trollop”? Fail, Walnuts, FAIL!

widestanceromancer August 3, 2010 at 2:22 pm

Now, just imagine that this nutless wad of tortured cranial fat was our president (even though we all know Palin would have had him killed by helicopter snipers by the end of the inauguration ceremony). What a stand-up guy.

Five and a half f*ck-yous, John, five and half f*ck-yous.

RoscoePColtraine August 3, 2010 at 2:23 pm

You know what would have been funny is if the rail-car conductor started “being helpful” by telling McCain that wait, these guys just have a few questions for you don’t you want me to stay put here for a few minutes so you can talk to these reporters? Sort of like Rand Paul’s aide was being helpful in the other thread.

Oblios Cap August 3, 2010 at 2:23 pm

I look at these deep thinkers, what with their tinkering and tampering with the Constitution and their attempts to divine the thoughts and intents of our Founding Fathers, and I think that I have never been prouder to be a part of this great democratic experiment that is America.

Cue Lee Greenwood

4tehlulz August 3, 2010 at 2:23 pm

I don’t know why liberals oppose this initiative; it would be like living in France, though without the actual benefits.

dex August 3, 2010 at 2:25 pm

finish the dang hearing.

chascates August 3, 2010 at 2:28 pm

[re=631223]queeraselvis v 2.0[/re]: Or even, “you trolley car driver”.

OhBoy August 3, 2010 at 2:30 pm

Also funny if the helpful rail-car conductor is an immigrant

edgydrifter August 3, 2010 at 2:30 pm

[re=631215]Neilist[/re]: Plus he wasn’t even born on base. He was delivered at a nearby–and very Panamanian–hospital. At his age and with his money, though, I don’t think he gives two rusty Ameros whether his own citizenship gets revoked. Surely Belize must need an elder gringo statesman with a brittle beer baroness in tow.

Mad Brahms August 3, 2010 at 2:31 pm

[re=631200]Judas Peckerwood[/re]: Nah, I doubt it. AHHNOLD may be a republican, but he’s *hardly* a tea party conservative, given his stances on social issues and on the environment.

Ducksworthy August 3, 2010 at 2:31 pm

Here’s a thought exercise for my fellow wonketteers. Watch McCain roll his eyes, think about who he chose as his running mate, and then think about the fact that 59,934,814 of your fellow Amurikkans voted for him for president. And they will be voting in November. Sorry. Too scary for snark.

WhatTheHeck August 3, 2010 at 2:32 pm

[re=631209]Serolf Divad[/re]: And why not hold hearings for the First Nations people as well.
God didn’t intend for them to live here in the promised land.

sezme August 3, 2010 at 2:34 pm

Ironically, by the time they repeal this section of the amendment, being a citizen of the US will have ceased to be ‘fun’. Oh, and John McCain will be ‘dead’. Hengh!

wilbro August 3, 2010 at 2:35 pm

So “Let’s hold hearings” is the new “I love you, but I am not ‘in love’ with you.”

Mad Brahms August 3, 2010 at 2:37 pm

[re=631242]WhatTheHeck[/re]: Way to out yourself as a stealth Canadian.

[re=631228]Oblios Cap[/re]: Gotta love this strict constructionists. “Oh, err, well, we meant the original constitution, not the amendments. Except the ones about women and blacks, because repealing those would be unpopular, and… oh, we don’t know what the fuck we mean”

Troubledog August 3, 2010 at 2:38 pm

He’ll pay anyone $50 an hour to have hearings in the Arizona sun over a hot summer, but you have to stay for the entire summer. You have no idea how hard that work is.

Ruhe August 3, 2010 at 2:38 pm

Now that I think about it, let’s go for it. Repeal the 14th and make citizenship something you earn by taking the test used now for naturalization. Think about how many real Murikans would be utterly unable to pass that test. Slap rejected stickers on ‘em and ship ‘em all off to Alaska which could become one enormous holding pen for illegals but an enlightened sort of pen where the weed is free, the salmon is plentiful and the way south is barred by above and below ground fencing.

freakishlystrong August 3, 2010 at 2:42 pm

This is the X-Games of birtherism.

chascates August 3, 2010 at 2:44 pm

[re=631249]Ruhe[/re]: I’ve listened to many Hispanics on my bus testing each other on the questions for citizenship. I couldn’t pass without a massive cram course.

SayItWithWookies August 3, 2010 at 2:44 pm

[re=631242]WhatTheHeck[/re]: That whole First Nations nomenclature makes it sound like they have firsties or something, which could unfairly affect the debate. The preferred term is Premature Illegal Immigrants.

mustardman August 3, 2010 at 2:45 pm

Sure no problem. And while we are ‘having hearings’ about the parts of the consitution we don’t like we can start discussing repealing the 2nd amendment too. We got a deal?

Neilist August 3, 2010 at 2:46 pm

[re=631239]edgydrifter[/re]: If I was McCain, I’d be less worried about my citizenship being revoked, and more worried about the FAA pulling my pilot’s license . . . .

Johnny Zhivago August 3, 2010 at 2:48 pm

[re=631249]Ruhe[/re]: That’s kind of like Starship Troopers where anyone could live in the US, but to be an actual citizen you had to serve in the military. Sure why not – everyone is demoted to illegal alien – and then you take a test every three years to requalify as a citizen. It would definitely keep the stupid and the senile from voting.

Johnny Zhivago August 3, 2010 at 2:49 pm

[re=631255]Neilist[/re]: Remember though, Mc Cain will always qualify for piloting vehicles powered by hot air.

RoscoePColtraine August 3, 2010 at 2:53 pm

[re=631241]Ducksworthy[/re]: They had an all-white ticket. Does that matter? Why, yes. Yes it does.

Come here a minute August 3, 2010 at 2:55 pm

The fact that McCain was born outside the U.S. is immaterial — his father was a danged white American, so he should be a citizen. Anyone not satisfying this criterion will have to wait for the hearings, HEHNGNN??

WhatTheHeck August 3, 2010 at 2:55 pm

[re=631247]Mad Brahms[/re]: Oooppppsss. I’ve been to Canuckistan a number of times. Love the place, but not a Canuck.
Just another brotha from another planet.

Extemporanus August 3, 2010 at 2:59 pm

[re=631241]Ducksworthy[/re]: Here’s another thought excercise for my fellow Wonketteers:

Look at that picture of Michelle Obama from ‘The FLOTUS Files’ post, and picture her naked, taut body glistening like melting chocolate in the setting sunlight, riding Barack Obama reverse-cowboy style on Nixon’s antique leather sette in the White House master bedroom, her ruby red nails dug into his kneecaps, their rising voices synchronized moans of regal ecstasy, and then think about the fact that a record-setting 69,456,897 of your fellow Amurikkans voted for him to be president.

And they will not be voting in November because they will all be fapping to the image of a sweaty, buck naked, funkalicious Barack and Michelle Obama just cold sexin’ each other up all the fucking time, all over the fucking White House, for the slaves. Sorry. Too horny to snark.

slappypaddy August 3, 2010 at 3:00 pm

good to see the republicans know what the important work facing our nation is and are continuing to avoid it at all costs while blowing smoke up each other’s asses.

Oblios Cap August 3, 2010 at 3:02 pm

[re=631262]RoscoePColtraine[/re]:

That was my first thougth when I read that, too.

queeraselvis v 2.0 August 3, 2010 at 3:04 pm

[re=631266]Extemporanus[/re]: Only one minor correction. “Buck naked” should be “buck nekkid.” Other than that, SPOT ON.

GOPCrusher August 3, 2010 at 3:05 pm

Someone should ask Mitch McConnell how repealing the 14th Amendment helps Americans get jobs, or have they forgotten how jobs are more important to Americans then Health Care Reform, Financial Reform, or any of the other legislation that Obama wants to jam down our throats?

Cicada August 3, 2010 at 3:06 pm

I’m thinking the game plan here is precisely what Walnuts said: hold hearings. That way the Republicans (and probably some Dems) get to grandstand/race-bait/stoke hysteria all with the cover of it just being a hearing.

This is some ugly shit, no joke.

noodleman August 3, 2010 at 3:11 pm

[re=631215]Neilist[/re]: You would be correct. According to the US Department of State, US military bases overseas are not sovereign US territories. Neither are the grounds upon which stands any US embassy. McCain had less of a right to call himself a natural-born US citizen than even Obama would have had Hawai’i been a territory in 1961 … that is, until Congress passed an ex post facto resolution granting McCain natural-born status.

EnBuenOra August 3, 2010 at 3:13 pm

Maybe they’re really angry about Sections 2 and 3 which bar office holding by Confederate insurrectionists and block claims of Confederate traitorous debts to be paid by the fedrul gubmit.

JooJoo Bee August 3, 2010 at 3:14 pm

[re=631241]Ducksworthy[/re]: Remind me to never have a second beer with you. I’d be cryin’ in my third, and suicidal by the fourth! Not that this is necessarily a bad thing, mind you. Just pointing out your powerful communication skills so if you’re on the face about that graduate degree in Artful Persuausion, you’ll know it would be a good thing to pursue.

BOOBIES! August 3, 2010 at 3:15 pm

The same racist dumbshits who are proposing that we change a 142 year old Amendment to the US Consitution are likely the same sons of bitches who will vote against Kagan claiming she won’t interpret the Constitution as it is written.

JooJoo Bee August 3, 2010 at 3:15 pm

[re=631249]Ruhe[/re]: This.

Extemporanus August 3, 2010 at 3:22 pm

[re=631270]queeraselvis v 2.0[/re]: Grrr…”sette, also. (Lubriderm + iPad + auto-correct = messy sexting.)

But thanks, and feel free to swap a buck nekkid Reggie — or Rahm — for Mizz Michelle if you so desire.

Radiotherapy August 3, 2010 at 3:23 pm

[re=631266]Extemporanus[/re]: Sweet carnal bliss is snarky.

Extemporanus August 3, 2010 at 3:26 pm

[re=631291]Extemporanus[/re]: SEE?! Touchscreens better get more accurate penile recognition very soon, or I’m switching back to commenting via fucking Fleshlight.

Extemporanus August 3, 2010 at 3:27 pm

[re=631292]Radiotherapy[/re]: Them being married is what does it, huh?

desertwind August 3, 2010 at 3:28 pm

They’re tryin’ to destroy every last thing that makes us kinda sorta cool & unusual in the world, aren’t they?

God Hates Faps August 3, 2010 at 3:31 pm

Barack’s mother’s vagina belonged to a US citizen. What about THAT pesky law? How far are they willing to go just to get him out of office? Do they hate him enough to turn themselves into what they hate most? A dirty, filthy illegal? Or, maybe, they are not capable of thinking that far in advance to realize there is another hurdle after this one. Stay tuned!!!1!!!!

An Outhouse August 3, 2010 at 3:35 pm

This suggests that everybody who is not a Native American is no longer a citizen. The Indians will still run our war machine and maintain the empire, right?

RoscoePColtraine August 3, 2010 at 3:52 pm

[re=631266]Extemporanus[/re]: I thought I could resist fapping, until you said “reverse cowboy.”

AnnieGetYourFun August 3, 2010 at 3:57 pm

I’m actually wondering how far this will go – if they really want to make sure that Obama is considered to NOT be an American citizen, then they will have to make the new laws stringent enough so that I, born to an immigrant mother (who was an American citizen when I was born) and a Canadian father, should not be considered automatically American.

This would be so fucking awesome.

June Cleaver 2.0 August 3, 2010 at 3:58 pm

[re=631266]Extemporanus[/re]: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T6rATx0J5Yw

You’re welcome.

daveX99 August 3, 2010 at 3:59 pm

[re=631217]Cape Clod[/re]: I’m thinking more like a gerbil-wheel propelled something-or-other. Like
this.

Hooray For Anything August 3, 2010 at 4:00 pm

[re=631228]Oblios Cap[/re]: For a bunch of people who claim to love and strive to uphold the Constitution, they sure do like to change it.

Extemporanus August 3, 2010 at 4:15 pm

[re=631328]RoscoePColtraine[/re]: YEEEFAPFAPFAPHAAAWWW!!!

[re=631335]June Cleaver 2.0[/re]: That is the Zapruder film as shot and narrated by John Stagliano.

>”I am SO tight on the parents right now. Oooh…oh my! Oh, that’s niiice…”

Thank you.

Limeylizzie August 3, 2010 at 4:19 pm

[re=631333]AnnieGetYourFun[/re]: My brother is an English immigrant and is not a citizen and his Swedish wife also not a citizen, what would they do with their adorable 12 year old American-born son?

snideinplainsight August 3, 2010 at 4:19 pm

This is very glib of them, but has anybody bothered to run the numbers on how many current citizens this would exclude? Just curious -

Limeylizzie August 3, 2010 at 4:20 pm

On the bright side, I am always delighted whenever the Wonkette drags out that fantastic McCain gif.

Ducksworthy August 3, 2010 at 4:51 pm

[re=631328]RoscoePColtraine[/re]: [re=631266]Extemporanus[/re]: Mmmmmm. Chocoooolate

Baldar T Flagass August 3, 2010 at 5:07 pm

[re=631249]Ruhe[/re]: Fookin’ brilliant.

Hoplight August 3, 2010 at 5:22 pm

[re=631215]Neilist[/re]: That birth certificate he gave to the press was a fake typed up just in time for him to present it to them. Coco solo didn’t have a hospital when McCain was born. Lending this birth certificate, from off base, more credence.

Not that it matters. He’s white. All white people are automatically Magic American Patriots. White people also are allowed to suck on the government teet their entire lives and then rail against anyone trying to give the poors some government health cares and stuff they’ve always taken for granted.

I see Edgydrifter got there foist. Ah well.

Jukesgrrl August 3, 2010 at 5:46 pm

[re=631240]Mad Brahms[/re]: Back in the day when there was outcry for Arnold run for the presidency, his supporters didn’t care what his actual positions were. It was enough that he was born in Austria, where men are white, women are busty, house painters have ambition, and they really know how to throw a parade.

Suds McKenzie August 3, 2010 at 7:55 pm

On a positive note, he didn’t crash the train into the ocean.

simplygeorge August 3, 2010 at 10:56 pm

Arizona Republicans Seek To Tear Down Statue of Liberty

http://suspiciouspackaging.blogspot.com/2010/08/arizona-republicans-seek-to-tear-down.html

In a shocking move (well from Arizona these days, maybe not so shocking), the same Arizona Republicans that want to further enslave Mexicans and deny person born on United States soil (despite this being the law of the United States for 150 years) have asked that the Statue of Liberty be torn down. Announcing that they detest the pagan symbol of a Roman goddess and detest freedom, the Arizonians want to have a “pure” race so we need to rid the US of unwanteds.

artpepper August 4, 2010 at 2:20 am

“Sure, why not?”

Coincidentally, that’s also what McCain said when Bill Kristol suggested Sarah Palin as a running mate.

PrimlyStable August 4, 2010 at 4:47 am

There’s something about the name “Mitch McConnell” that makes me think some of his ancestors may have come to America from a foreign country in the not-too-distant past. Likewise “John McCain”.

PrimlyStable August 4, 2010 at 4:49 am

In fact, fuck it, let’s just deport the entire population of Boston.

Tundra Grifter August 4, 2010 at 11:32 am

[re=631202]Manos: Hands of Fate[/re]: I just watched the excellent documentary “Deadline” about Illinois Governor Ryan’s decision whether to grant pardons to all the death row inmates because the judicial process was fatally (pun intended) flawed.

It was during the final days of his final term. This is the time many public servants find the courage to do the right thing.

Sen. McCain, on the other hand…

CivicHoliday August 4, 2010 at 2:55 pm

My maternal Grandma immigrated from England and gave birth to my mom before she was a citizen. So…god save the queen, I be a Brit now! I knew that me liking vinegar on fries was no coincidence!

daisy chain August 4, 2010 at 9:16 pm

If this thing is retroactive, then logically no one whose parents or grandparents or great grandparents and so forth weren’t born in the United States can be citizens, which means they will all be deported. The Native Americans are going to be really excited about this.

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