The static kill
sex positionprocedure is slated to begin today, if it didn’t start last night while Doctor Jindal was sleeping. The process of shoving mud and shooting cement down the throat of the well may actually kill the well and nullify the need to use the relief wells. The engineers are concerned that shooting stuff all over the place may damage the fleshy flap seal called the annulus. [Mobile Press Register]
- New estimates put the amount of oil spilled into the Gulf at almost five million barrels. The daily amounts varied, but declined as the reservoir was depleted. [Houston Chronicle]
- The toxic dispersants used by BP and the Coast Guard to break down the oil was not more toxic than the oil — it was just as toxic as the oil. Hooray? [
Pensacola News Journal]
- The dead zone in the Gulf is as big as the Great Commonwealth of Massachusetts! We’re number one! We’re number one! What is a dead zone? It’s an area in a body of water where there is no oxygen and EVERYTHING IS FUCKING DEAD. Just like the waters in Chappaquiddick. [New Orleans Times-Picayune]
- The damage caused by this oil spill wasn’t that bad so says Jonah “I Drink Your Milkshake” Goldberg. [National Review]
December 12, 2013
Have You Forgotten About the Dead Turtles On Day 106?
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