Good ol’ Ben Nelson is liberal America’s favorite Democrat to hate, when they aren’t hating semi-Democrat Joe Lieberman for general douchebaggery, or Obama for failing at everything they hoped for him all the time. Well, did you think that maybe Ben Nelson is sick of you guys, too? Tired of all your carping about how he is too conservative, and always not voting for liberal judges, or threatening to vote against major Democratic agenda items? Did you ever think that maybe Ben Nelson is one of these days just going to up and turn Republican? Huh? DID YOU?
Joe Klein did! Just as he did (anonymously) in Primary Colors, Klein weaved a fascinating combination of speculation and fact, imagining a future in which Nelson switches teams after the Republicans get within a seat or two of a Senate majority, or where Senators Nelson, Crist, and Lieberman form an “Independent caucus” and decide who lives and who dies.
The only problem with this theory is that it has no basis in reality, according to Nelson spokeshuman Jake Thompson:
Every year, Congressional Quarterly’s vote study confirms Ben Nelson’s bipartisanship and independence. He’s has cast tough votes, is honored to represent all Nebraskans and will never be, as one blogger has suggested, “up for grabs.” Senator Nelson plans to remain a registered Democrat and an independent voice for Nebraska.
Ah ha, except “registered Democrat” doesn’t mean squat. WILL BEN NELSON VOTE FOR HARRY REID (or Chuck Schumer, if Sharron Angle shoots Harry Reid to death with bullets)? This is actually the only important question in terms of the Senate’s organizational rules. JUST ANSWER THAT DAMN QUESTION, WARIO. Or, you know, don’t, and tap your nose knowingly, and get everyone’s hopes and anxieties up, and have everyone pay attention to you, that will probably work out well for you.
Also, ladies, do not attempt to “grab” Ben Nelson, as he is not “up for” that. [Time/Huffington Post]
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If there is a dispute between Crist, Lieberman and Nelson, will they settle it by who comes last in their three-way?
Ben Nelson hasn’t done anything of lasting value since he starred in the 1951 science-fiction thriller The Thing. There hasn’t been a use since for a large, lumbering toxic piece of vegetation.
“Senators Nelson, Crist, and Lieberman form an “Independent caucus” and decide who lives and who dies”
David Broder read Joe’s little fantasy and just came.
Joe Klein is a whole big chunk of everything that’s wrong with journalism in this country.
Yeah and Lindsay Lohan is on her way to MIT to study molecular biololgy.
I think either TPM or Washington Monthly has a story about some pundit saying that if the Republicans take enough seats in the House to make it close, a bunch of Democrats will unshackle their chains from Pelosi and throw their support to the Republicans and thus giving Boehner the Speakership. His story came from some bad fish he had the night before. Maybe pundits should be given August off too because there’s not enough silly stuff happening in politics so they have to invent their own.
[re=630561]Lionel Hutz Esq.[/re]: Don’t forget Graham. I’m pretty sure if Crist was involved with something, Graham would join it in a second.
“…or where Senators Nelson, Crist, and Lieberman form an “Independent caucus”…”
That has “The Lemon Party” drooled all over it.
“Plans” is the operative word, folks. And “plans” don’t mean shit, I’m afraid to say. It’s like saying I “plan” on taking my kids to Disney Land some time in the next couple of years. But you know what? Maybe not. Maybe we just go to Six Flags instead. Dissappointed? Tough shit.
I’m sure for a committee chairmanship, Gentle Ben will jettison any loyalty to ‘Crat party. You only live once and being Senator is as close to God-ship as you’ll get.
I miss Wario. I mean Jim.
Fuck, Josh. Thanks for reminding me that I detest Joe Klein.
Ben is just regaining his mojo after so many thankless years serving as the model for Max in the “Guess Who?” game.
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