this is very important to like twelve people

Wow, what a scoop!NPR REPORTERS WILL NOT HAVE TO WIPE GIBBS-SPITTLE OFF OF THEIR HIPSTER BUDDY HOLLY GLASSES: “Newsertainment” organization Fox has been assigned Helen Thomas’s old front-row seat in the fetid White House press room by the WHCA. This means that they will have the power to set the national agenda, because Robert Gibbs will actually be able to hear the questions they ask. NPR inherits Fox’s second-row seat, and their reporters’ sensible, mellifluous tones will be like so much musical gobbledygook to whomever is standing at the podium, because they will be so far away. Please stop forwarding that one Facebook petition about this, everybody, because it has failed, like every other Facebook petition. (Thanks to the indefatigable chascates for the tip.) [Huffington Post]

About the author

Josh was born and raised in Buffalo, New York, leaving him with a love of chicken wings and a tendency to say “pop”. He taught ancient Greek and Roman history to undergraduates before fleeing from academia in terror; worked for a failed San Francisco dot-com that neglected to supply him with stock options or an Aeron chair; lived in Berlin, where he mostly ate Indian and Ethiopian food; finished in third place on his sole Jeopardy! appearance (the correct answer was “Golda Meir”); and was named 2007 Blogger of the Year by The Week, for obvious reasons. Josh is the creator/editor of COMICS CURMUDGEON (which you should read) and does geeky editing and writing about geeky things such as "the Java programming industry for JavaWorld." He lives in Baltimore with his wife Amber and his cat Hoagie.

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37 comments

  1. oh hi mark

    According to the latest Fox News poll, 115% of reporters support this change. The other 62% aren’t so sure.

  2. Serolf Divad

    Stop pretending that Fox News doesn’t already set the national agenda, guys.

    You know my words have the ring of truth to them. Just deal with it. Pour yourself another glass of scotch and deal with it.

  3. King of the Dipshits

    Actually, I believe AP is moving to Thomas’ front-row center seat and Fox is moving up to AP’s old front row seat – but who can really be bothered to give a shit.

  4. JMP

    Now, you’re forgetting the success of the Betty White on Saturday Night Live petition. The horrible, terrifying success, because it’s encouraged people who now set up facebook petitions for every single thing you can possibly think of.

  5. Cape Clod

    Didn’t the British have a dreadnaught called the H.M.S Indefatigable Chascates in World War I?

  6. V572625694

    It’s a good thing our media outlets aren’t too self-absorbed to report real news like this.

  7. Jim89048

    Wait a minute. $arah has a journamalism degree, $arah is a fox correspondent, fox has a front row seat at the gaggle, see where this could lead?

  8. germansteel

    I’m hoping that that old thing about school, when some dipshit in the front row always had his hand up in the air to ask questions of the teacher and the teacher was sick of it all and was always ignoring the total pain in the ass so he wouldn’t call on him and it was really embarrassing to the dipstick, I’m hoping that happens with the Fox idiot all the time. Ya know what I mean? Paying no attention to the Fox asshole meant less when he or she was in the second row, but now it will be better when Gibbs looks right past him.

  9. Neilist

    Q. What’s the difference between the Carter and Obama Administrations?

    A. The folks in the Carter Administration had some balls.

    [Why doesn't Obama simply put on a dress? Say, a nice tutu?]

  10. V572625694

    [re=630105]Neilist[/re]: A muʻumuʻu would be more in line with Obama’s putative heritage.

  11. Oldskool

    They should also have to hold Jeff Gannon in their lap so Gibbs can look forward to going to work each day.

  12. One Yield Regular

    An old teachers’ trick for dealing with recalcitrant, obnoxious students: put them in the front row.

  13. Geogre

    Fox, NPR… aren’t they the same thing now?

    Mara and Juan are both “analysts” at FoxNews, and Scott Simon is a good, old fashioned Nixonian, so there were no winners to pick here.

  14. Jim89048

    [re=630104]germansteel[/re]: Pretty much exactly what dumbya’s press secretaries did to Helen Thomas.

  15. B2S

    Actually, AP got Thomas’ old seat, FOX got AP’s old seat a few seats down the first row. NPR got FOX’s old seat on the second row center.

  16. AnnieGetYourFun

    [re=630105]Neilist[/re]: He’s too happy in his Mom-jeans.

    [re=630114]Geogre[/re]: Really? I thought it was Scott Simon who was freaking out over the Bush wiretapping scandals. I mean, you’d think Nixonians would be into that shit.

    Le sigh. I am so tired of this. My god, a fucking online petition? Has anyone ever conceived of a less useful method for creating change in the universe?

  17. AnnieGetYourFun

    PS: Josh, I’m pretty sure all the current hipsters are wearing giant, hideous, 1980s tinted glasses that take up much of the face (think Dov Charney – well, don’t think too much about him, or it will hurt). The Buddy Holly glasses are officially for nerds now, I’m afraid. This will not stop NPR correspondents from wearing them, of course, I’m just pretty certain that they no longer qualify as “hipster”.

  18. BOOBIES!

    [re=630096]JMP[/re]:

    In that case, Wonkette should start a Facebook petition to move Betty White to Faux news’ seat and move Faux news to SNL.

  19. amorphousblob

    Is the Facebook petition that got Betty White to host SNL the exception that proves the rule?

  20. Serolf Divad

    [re=630101]Jim89048[/re]:

    Oh be still my beating heart!

    That said, there’s no way she’d allow herself to be put in that position. She knows she’d be made to look a fool.

  21. libwakman

    Front row Fuax reporter will consistently be guilty of Gbbses Interuptess, just like Fauxs presidential one-on-one interview. How long before Gibbs develops that thousand mile stare right past whichever dipshit ala mode occupies said seat?

  22. Snarkalicious

    [re=630101]Jim89048[/re]: Jesus Christ I wish you were kidding. If that silly twat gets handed that seat and then runs for president the nation will end up so soaked in liquid stupid that we’ll never get the stain out. My investment in brain bleach seemed so sensible, once.

  23. WhatTheHeck

    wait a minute. According to the Tea Partiers, it was Pravda that was going to be given preferential treatment in the Obama Nooz room.

  24. Serolf Divad

    [re=630175]WhatTheHeck[/re]:

    Considering Pravada was privatized and is now basically the Russian edition of the Weekly World News, I’d loooove to see that!

    “Meester prezeedent… is it true, as our sources are confirming, zat zere are at least three extra-terrestrials in your cabinet posing as humans?”

  25. binarian

    [re=630114]Geogre[/re]: Fox, NPR… aren’t they the same thing now?

    I just threw up. At work. Stop that.

  26. albatross

    So, that’s why Dan Schorr died.

    As for Simon being a Nixonian, I don’t think Scott Simon admires anybody but Scott Simon.

  27. Extemporanus

    NPR is the Bob Uecker of the White House briefing room.

    [re=630122]B2S[/re]: Do you know what music Gibbs was playing while they all switched chairs?

  28. RobPetrified

    Now intelligent people with way too much free time on their hands can joke about, and post YouTube videos pointing out, FOX “news” ineptness and “unfair and unbalanced” shtick.
    And Robert Gibbs can still ignore the fact he (they) in effect legitimized this foreign owned fake news company.
    And ignore their questions.

    And their shouts?

  29. Pat Pending

    Oh heck, Helen got ignored through the Bush years, maybe Gibbs could sack up and never call on the douche-wads in the front row?

  30. tribbzthesquidz

    [re=630136]AnnieGetYourFun[/re]: He might be thinking about Ira Glass. He has those big glasses.

    I noticed back round ’99-’00 all these righteez started flooding newspapers editorials and organizing to phone-harass Comcast into putting the Fox lower down in the channels on the basic cable packages. And it worked very well. And I’ve no doubt Fox itself had influence in getting this going.
    You can bet they put on the extra heat to get that seat just to savor the sudden contrast, ’cause it’s Helen Thomas and to sweeten the deal she lost the seat, not by kicking ye olde bucket due to old age or a lesbo S&M accident, but by not sufficiently kissing Israels ass and going way over the top with the “we’ll let ‘em have Nevada” schtick. At least she didn’t suggest Arizona. Then the Israelis could fight over the sand with the Whites and Mexicans.
    Anyway, I’m going to go take blue pills now. Fuck the press corpse. Fuck religion. Fuck Concast. And fuck a whole buncha Fox news forever. Amen.

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