America’s queen of hearts, Chelsea Clinton, got married today! It’s about time, right? Bristol Palin will probably be on her third or fourth “old man” by the time she’s 30 years old. Anyway, we forgot to cover this wedding of an adult person, even though it is true that her mom is secretary of state and her dad used to have some job in politics or on Wall Street, can’t remember what. Maybe a marketing firm will send us some pictures we can post that have some tangential relationship to the subject of “Chelsea Clinton’s wedding.”
Yes! Thank you, marketing firm contracted by a fast-food franchise! It is awesome that this marketing firm sent corn-syrup/pig-anus grease cake to Chelsea Clinton’s wedding! We bet the wealthy Stanford/Oxford graduate/vegetarian and her observant Jewish husband just ate the fuck out of this oily slob food covered in, as we mentioned, pig anus.
Congratulations, Chelsea, and to the guy you married! [New York Times]