Uh, sure.
America’s queen of hearts, Chelsea Clinton, got married today! It’s about time, right? Bristol Palin will probably be on her third or fourth “old man” by the time she’s 30 years old. Anyway, we forgot to cover this wedding of an adult person, even though it is true that her mom is secretary of state and her dad used to have some job in politics or on Wall Street, can’t remember what. Maybe a marketing firm will send us some pictures we can post that have some tangential relationship to the subject of “Chelsea Clinton’s wedding.”

Yes! Thank you, marketing firm contracted by a fast-food franchise! It is awesome that this marketing firm sent corn-syrup/pig-anus grease cake to Chelsea Clinton’s wedding! We bet the wealthy Stanford/Oxford graduate/vegetarian and her observant Jewish husband just ate the fuck out of this oily slob food covered in, as we mentioned, pig anus.

Congratulations, Chelsea, and to the guy you married! [New York Times]

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  1. The wingnuts are hyper-ventilating over the cost , I am sure they were not concerned with however much it cost for that slightly attractive Bush twin to wed that bloated turd.

  2. “Teenage boys chased after former Secretary of State Madeleine Albright, seeking autographs.”

    The times they are a-changin’.

  3. I live little south of Rhinebeck, home to the insanely wealthy and those who wait upon/cater to them. I decided to just stay in the hood today. I am glad, however, to see some serious cash get spent in Dutchess County and I wish the bride and groom well. Also – you just know Bill cried like a little girl when he “gave away” his little girl.

  4. [re=629841]sanantonerose[/re]: I don’t know haven’t had a Dominio Pizza in at least 7 or 8 years, but a Greaser Hut Pizza I haven’t had in 17 or 18 years. They should sell that stuff with a side of lipitor.

  5. [re=629846]Limeylizzie[/re]: What? You don’t remember all the protests when George W. Bush doubled the national debt during his presidency? Or how they praised Bill Clinton for creating a budget surplus?

    Where have YOU been?

  6. [re=629846]Limeylizzie[/re]: I live in Dutchess County and am thankful that such a sum is being dropped here! Not just by the actual wedding but all the droolers who’ve come to gawk.

  7. It was an amazing, gloriously cool evening all around the New York State region this evening. Nice to know Al Gore can still pull a few strings.

  8. Marc Mezvinsky. That wouldn’t be one of the Fayetteville Mezvinksys would it? What church did you say his family belonged to?

  9. [re=629846]Limeylizzie[/re]: Are they just assuming that, because the wedding involves prominent Democrats, the wedding must be getting paid for with taxpayer $$$$$? I mean, seriously, what the fuck business is it of theirs?

  10. [re=629858]Surfeit O’Hubris[/re]: I assumed they were complaining about the secret service protection costs, which is equally dumb because those would exist whether there was a wedding or not.

  11. [re=629866]BarackMyWorld[/re]: Oh, of course they object to the secret service protection costs, or more to the point they object to the secret service protection – gets in the way of those second amendment fantasies they fap to.

  12. Mmmmm pig anus… reminds me of that scene from The Green Butchers where one of them says “There’s something mythological about killing an animal and then mocking it by stuffing it into its own intestine.” Oh, Mazel-tov, Chelsea and Whatsisname!

  13. Wait a minute. Is this some kind of an inside job? Didn’t Ken have a Pizza Hut plaque hanging up here early in the week?
    I’m going to order me some Triple Cheese Meat-Lovers Deluxe® when I’m watching that Rubicon show on Lifetime tomorrow. Merika, fuck yeah.

  14. [re=629866]BarackMyWorld[/re]: I’m sure the Republicans are just joking. Unless they’re against all marriage now. Wouldn’t be a shock as so many of their partisans keep getting involved with hookers and rentboys.

    I love marriage. It’s a promise that can bring out the very best in each of us — unselfish devotion, linking your own happiness to someone else’s, going to the hospital with her for the biopsy. I wish them years of happiness.

  15. They got married in New York but catered with Pizza Hut? Oh no no no, these hillbillies should move back to Arkansas because her poltical career is over in NY. Fancy, New England veggie pizza would be forgivable but not this.

  16. [re=629851]Beowoof[/re]: Dominos is just as bad if not worse than Pizza Hut; the strike against Dominos is that its founder supports pro-life groups like Operation Rescue. But I still eat their crappy pizza because the Safety Patrol hawks it at every event at my son’s school.

  17. [re=629876]DC Hates Me[/re]: Maybe they could move to Alaska instead. The Hillbillies from Arkansas v the Wasillabillies. Hillsarahty will ensue! (I will not refudiate that made up word).

  18. k-lo needs to hold her fat-ass tongue to hisself . when bristol gives birth on her wedding day in front of everbody then she can extrude her fat-ass tongue from jonah’s vag n spit out a comment at that point in time …

  19. Unless Pizza Hut makes Vegan pies, I doubt they had anything to do with the wedding. On Monday the Right wing radio/TV spin machine will be dragging the wedding through the mud. How dare the Clintons have a tasteful private event! I expect among the many topics will be the money wasted on security, elite liberals not being real mericans, and how can anyone in good conscience let their daughter marry a Joo?

  20. [re=629912]FormerDCite[/re]: Don’t forget the Clinton’s failure to give gainful employment to an aging whore like Elton John, the way Rush Limbosevic’s giant family-values ass did.

  21. [re=629881]linli321[/re]: I, too, have a website to share. It involves my friend Bob Goatse. I encourage liberal use of the google to find his website, as well as of the asstroglide. Good Lick!

  22. I haven’t been paying attention. How many people has Chelsea’s new husband been accused of knocking up?

    Or is this just further proof that we are living out Idiocracy.

  23. Well, Pizza Hut is Pepsi, so I wouldn’t sweat it too much. Abomino’s, on the other hand, did get rid of their founder, the right wing contributor and Operation Rescue funder, but the rest of the tops there still have some mighty righty views. Heck, Target just came out and endorsed the right winger in MN.

    To me, the pizza pie is not amore, which no longer hits my eye, and the simple wedding taunt would have been for Rhinebeckers, I reckon. The rest of us gobble up sugar embedded crust, sugar added sauce, and then the aforementioned offal. And we’re grateful.

  24. [re=629912]FormerDCite[/re]: Yeah, shame on Chelsea for not getting knocked up before the wedding, and on both of them for refusing to make a public spectacle of themselves – Absolutely no class, unlike proper, God fearing folks like the Palins…

    Bill: You had your share of contretemps in office, but hey, you balanced the Budget, created more jobs than almost any President before you, managed not to start any futile wars – and you and Her Hillaryness raised a daughter any parent would be proud of. Well played, sir – You’ve earned a few tears of joy.

  25. A trip in the Way Back machine:

    Clinton sent cruise missiles at Sudan and then at Afghanistan. The reaction from the right wing was that this was clearly a “Wag the Dog” scenario designed to “detract” (sic) the public from the Monica story or the Whitewater story. The left said, “But the factory made baby formula! Why are we being mean?” (In truth, those were strikes on al Qaeda that missed.)

    Clinton got a military engagement in Kosovo. It’s now regarded in European circles as the “good war,” but not in Montenegro. The reaction from the right wing was that this was exactly “Wag the Dog” and a pointless exercise in the hilarious and evil concept of “nation-building” (in fact, Bush would campaign against the concept and swear to never do it) to “distract the public to” (sic) the Monica story. The left said, “Ooooh, witter witter. Is it good or bad?”

    After 2001, those cruise missile strikes missing were how 9/11 was Clinton’s fault. He should have ignored the very same right wingers now blaming him and kept firing and ignored Congress to keep shooting until he got OBL to prevent 9/11, so they could impeach him for doing so.

  26. [re=629928]Russian Guyovich[/re]: It does seem odd; a tag of “pig anus” should pull up some articles about David Vitter at least.

  27. [re=629877]hoosiermama[/re]:
    Zactly so. Tom Monaghan, Demon-oh’s previous sole stockholder, is a sanctimonious piece of shit who dumps tons of money into ultra conservative causes that feel they own the womb of every woman on the globe. Terrible Tom even founded his own college, Ave Maria University, in his perfectly developed, perfect Catholic jonestown of Ave Maria, Florida. Tom had to form his own ‘traditional’ Catholic college, cause you know those heavy to Jesuit Catholic schools are not really Catholic.

    My bride and I are still 100% pitooie on Dominos, since that asshole Monaghan still owns 7%.

  28. [re=629912]FormerDCite[/re]: Here’s the part I don’t get about the bitching regarding $$$: I thought conservatives were all about making jobs by spending $$? And that’s why we shouldn’t tax them, because they’d spend that $$ and make jobs? So why does that logic not apply to the Clintons’ spending $$ on their daughter’s wedding but it does apply to the Bushes?

  29. I’ve read that Bill Clinton acts like ‘the bride at every wedding and the corpse at every funeral’ so I’m hoping for pictures verifying this.

  30. [re=629943]PsycGirl[/re]: it’s because the right wing has a philosophy of total freedom for themselves and total slavery for those outside of their circle. That’s why when they don’t wear a flag pin it’s not remarkable and when a democrat doesn’t wear a flag pin they are Al Quiada muslins. That’s why there is a term “limousine liberal” and the rightist equivalent is “successful”.

  31. The fact that Marc Mezvinsky is from Goldman Sachs will do nothing to advance the theory that the Democratic Party is no longer a representative political party, but is instead an insular banking cabal, seeking to dumb down the electorate, that has access to the records from Columbia University.

  32. [re=629941]weejee[/re]: More reason to remain ptooie on Domino’s: Check out the entry on Domino’s. Most stores are franchised, not corporate, but the corporation has given 100% of its contributions to the GOP, 0% to the Democratic Party. It’s owners have contributed personally 100% to the GOP, 0% to the DP.

  33. Domino’s cheese smells like moldy wet rags. That’s why it needs the pig anus with garlic scent. I will not eat it. Actually, I could live about a month and a half off the fat on my ass so I’m not really worried. I can wait for decent local pizza.

  34. [re=629940]Escape Goat Nation[/re]: For reform Jews, a child can be Jewish if either parent is Jewish. Considering they were married by a minister and a rabbi- I’d say their children can be reform Jews. Of course, as some of the fine commenters on Yahoo said- we don’t need more Jews(that was one of the more polite comments). But being Jewish myself- I tend to disagree.

  35. The last time, (and I mean the very last time, ever) I ordered a Domino’s pizza, I had eaten almost the whole thing (over a few days) before I bit into a huge fake acrylic fingernail. I think the color was something along the lines of “Frosty Coral.” After much legal threatening and screaming, I sold the 20 free pizza coupons they gave me (to shut me up) to my friends and used the money to buy some awesome weed. So: Thanks for the weed, Domino’s!!

  36. Ah, the Clintons! Thank you so much Bill, for signing off on the end of Glass-Stegall. That really helped stabilize those banks! And starting rendition! What an excellent practice, that has improved our national security and enhanced our prestige around the world. And lets not forget NAFTA. That has worked so well, millions of Mexicans have come here to see how wonderful life is in their main trading partner. But most of all, thanks for making Larry Summers a major figure in American life. He is such a font of natural wisdom.

  37. Can’t wait for Britol’s happy day if Mama Grizzly (who incidentally had “I Do” written on her hand at her own nuptials) ever settles on anyone.

  38. “[C]orn-syrup/pig-anus grease cake . . . .”

    Ken, I can think of no better description of Clinton nuptials and/or Clinton sex.


    My congratulations.

  39. Sheesh! Stop with the Clinton hatred! I’m having horrible primary flashbacks!

    (Next it’ll be “Chelsea has cankles” etc., etc.)

  40. [re=629941]weejee[/re]: You know, fuck this shit. The more I learn about Abominos the more I’m going to push for the safety patrol to use one of the local pizza places for fund raising. This is just fucking ridiculous — and Pizza Slut can kiss my ass, too. Yeh, you heard me!

    Mmm, pizza…I still love you.

  41. Good Monday Morning, Yanks! Our Breakfast-chatshows prattled on about the Clinton wedding, of course…

    [re=629940]Escape Goat Nation[/re]: Chelsea’s husband being Jewish doesn’t mean Chelsea’s kids will be Jewish, but it DOES mean that Hillary is indeed running for President in 2012 – You heard it here first, Mate!

    [re=629941]weejee[/re]: Alas, Domino’s is very big here in Antipodia also, possibly due to the damnably irresistible (to us Antipodeans at least ) siren-call of their Meat-pie pizza… but no worries, ‘cos it’s been withdrawn from sale, probably under threat from the Federal Dept of Health & Ageing – besides’ Eagle Boys is the better stuff – try the Steak & Prawn pie or the Aussie Bacon & Egg … my Senior-Bear says it’s Bonzer…

  42. [re=629955]finallyhappy[/re]: This being the weekend, I took advantage of free cell minutes to call my one Jewish friend, who appreciates his non-Jewish friend excercising such a time-honored Jewish stereotype. He lives in sin with his shiksa partner and their bastard child, who is being raised observant, if that is even a thing a bastard child can do. My friend was watching NASCAR, of all things, probably the only Jew in US America who does this…

  43. [re=629957]slavojzizek[/re]:

    All that, plus foisting the DLC and folks like Rahm on us. Asshats.

    But Mazel Tov, Mr. and Ms. Clinton-Mezvinsky. None of that is your fault.

  44. [re=629957]slavojzizek[/re]: NAFTA went into effect during Clinton, but was signed by H.W. Bush. Renditions were started under Reagan.

    Though I have a suspicion that you really do not care about the facts in this case.

  45. Grisly Mama on Chris Wallace today:

    “Jan Brewer has the cojones that our president does not have to look out for all Americans, not just Arizonans, but all Americans in our desire of our to secure our borders and allow legal immigration to help build this country as was the purpose of immigration laws,” Palin said during an appearance on Fox Sunday. [God, how she butchers a sentence.]
    Palin also blamed the media for her low approval numbers. “If I believed everything I read or heard in the media, I wouldn’t like me either,” she said.

  46. [re=629877]hoosiermama[/re]: Where I live in upstate NY there are so many awesome pizza places that I wonder who does patronize the Dominos or Pizza Huts. If your ever in Rochester,NY there are several awesome local pizza places.

  47. [re=629957]slavojzizek[/re]: Your forgot to thank Bill for whatever telcom legislation it was that apparently let a handfull of Reichwing broadcasters buy up every radio and television programmer is your country… aren’t you lucky for having Douche Limpballs on 50000 radio stations every day?

    The Mum in my California host-family worked in public radio, and bitterly complained about this…

  48. I don’t understand why Pizza Hut and Dominos are still in existence, because if you want cheap, shitty pizza, Little Caesar’s or CiCi’s (the holy grail of cheap, shitty pizza) will serve this purpose better. For good delivery, you can either settle for Papa John’s or better yet, hunt down a good local place.

    But Pizza Hut aside, I have to stick up for my beloved grease-cheese-and-pig-anus pies. Shit is damn tasty, and the anuses are no doubt washed thoroughly.

  49. [re=629969]Bearbloke[/re]: Good that your working on Demon-oh’s in Oz. Been a couple years since I was there. My liver has since recovered from the ethanol consumption, so prob’ly need to make another trip.

  50. [re=629979]Zadig[/re]: God damn you people, now I am insanely hungry, for some pizza. And since my jaw surgery about a week ago (thanks for nothing, underbite!), I’ve had my mouth rubber-banded up and enjoyed a liquid diet.

    I would do, like, at least three murder-suicides for some fucking pizza right now.

  51. [re=629957]slavojzizek[/re]: I still don’t understand why he went along with undoing Glass-Steagal. Democrat presidents just want to be LOVED by Repubs! It is a deep burning need inside them that can never be satisfied and for which we’ll all endlessly pay for.

  52. Most def! Congratulations Chelsea…and totally agree that Levi’s baby mama will probably be on at least numero dos by the time she’s 30!

  53. BTW, that is the most disgusting pizza I’ve ever seen. I don’t know how any of you can eat that crap (sneers down patrician liberal elite nose at you all).

  54. [re=629947]chascates[/re]: Bill must have gotten his gigs mixed up because he looked like a corpse at this wedding. Daddy SAID he was happy, but he sure didn’t enjoy walking his baby down the aisle.

    Chelsea never looked more glowing, though. I don’t even think her mother winning the election would have made her smile this big. She wanted this … for whatever reason.

    But how come the bride whose wedding I want to see releases a total of five photographs and the people whose weddings I don’t even want to think about make them into a “reality” series?

  55. [re=629993]Jukesgrrl[/re]: I just got chills looking at those pictures, and I’m no softie about weddings, either. They really are genuine. Absolutely agree with you, too, about the overkill on wedding hype – wait until Snooki or someone like that gets hitched.

  56. What’s depressing – and a sign of how far America has fallen is that after 10 years of Sarah Palin, Glen Beck, etc… that the Clintons, once considered America’s Hillbillies are now seen as “American Royalty”.

  57. [re=630002]Surfeit O’Hubris[/re]: I’ll pass on the heart problems. Come to think of it I might need my 20 extra pounds for the coming winter.

  58. oh for heaven’s sake- add some yeast to some warm water, add flour, let rise (twice) and then top with lovely delicious fresh mozz, fresh basil and some pieces of heirloom tomatoes and pig anusi.

    Use the acrylic nails to spell out a congratulatory message, and voila, wedding pizza from scratch!

  59. [re=629924]Captain Swing[/re]: [re=629988]Roschelle[/re]: [re=629992]finallyhappy[/re]: Half-governour Mooseilini has become so jealous from Chelsea’s wedding that she decided to have Brisol’s bachelorette party right now – and here’s the first picture of Bristol Bible Spice has sold to the tabloids that Real Americans read…

  60. I stayed at the Beekman Arm in Rhinebeck. Everything’s old and itchy, there’s no TVs in most/any of the rooms. It’s all colonial. And it’s the only hotel in town. Rhinebeck is also a center for cults and weirdos- see: The Omega Center.

  61. [re=629973]glamourdammerung[/re]: Actually, Bush signed it to be fast-tracked, but that expired, and Clinton had to sign it when it was ratified.

  62. [re=629975]chascates[/re]: Does she not realize that a lot of what we’ve read or heard were direct quotes? I decided I hated her during her 2008 convention speech, which was carried live.

  63. Now there’s one pissed off pig. Poor Chelsea she’s riding on the slippery coat-tails of an impeached father and a wannabe mother who only got attention because she was 1) ‘Victimized’ 2)The bedroom ‘Hair-apparent’,3)Following ‘Dubya’, after whom a pigs anus would have got a few votes, and 4)Will get to campaign for Mum until the end of days. Poor Chelsea maybe she’ll get to ring the bell at the exchange.

  64. I worked as a delivery driver for Domino’s in my early 20’s. The day I was hired, the assistant manager had a meltdown and quit in front of everybody. The delivery vehicles were a joke–one truck (the good one) had a door that was opened and closed so many times that the door handle and lock were stripped and replaced with a heavy rope that you had to hold so the door wouldn’t open. (My delivery vehicle was a Chevette with grindy coast-to-a-stop brakes). Also, there was a mouse running around in the back room named Jimmy and according to the manager, he had been there since 1985.

    /shitty pizza rant

  65. [re=630029]Smoke Filled Roommate[/re]: I worked for them in my late teens.

    The manager was a “management by platitude” guy. He had slogans for everything. He loved “hustle.” He wanted drivers to run from the car to the store and the store to the car, as it showed the aforementioned quality. I pointed out to him that I could do this and then drive 15 mph, or I could walk like a human being and drive 80 mph. He told me, “If you were in the army, you’d be court martialed for insubordination.”

    For the only time in my life, I had the right retort at the right time.

    I said, “If you were in the army, you’d be killed by friendly fire.”
    That was the end of my week working at Domino’s.

  66. [re=629940]Escape Goat Nation[/re]: I think he’s reform, so she could go to Hebrew School for … ever it feels like … and then be a REAL jew (doesn’t even have to get the nose job, it’s totally optional for goyem who want to convert)

  67. Lsst time I ate a Dominos pizza, I barfed it up. Don’t know if it was the lard “cheese” they use or if I had some other virus but needless to say, that was twenty years ago and I will not touch that shit ever again. And yes, Tom Monaghan is a total douchebag, also.

  68. But no surprise that the Republiklans/Tea Baggers are up in arms about the fact that Chelsea’s wedding got more air time than the Bush whore got or the Palin cum dumpster will get.

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