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Connecticut GOP Senate candidate Peter Schiff is trying to raise enough funds to educate the good people of the Nutmeg State about his primary opponent, wrestling lady Linda McMahon, and her out-of-control, crotch-kicking ways. This information could save thousands of Republican men from making unwanted trips to the testicle doctor.

Schiff’s ad shows “Liberal McMahon” kicking and kicking and kicking the same poor guy’s groin, a body part that universally represents “all Republicans.” It is a critical part of his “money bomb” effort to raise a bunch of money before he loses the primary.

Kentucky GOP Senate candidate Rand Paul, a noted bomber of Facebook friends, is helping Schiff to raise enough money to get this entertaining movie put on the teevee. Paul believes that watching movies about “rough-and-tumble broads” while counting silver is not only an enjoyable pastime but a constitutionally protected right. [Hartford Courant/Uncovered Politics]

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43 COMMENTS

  1. Wow, Liberal McMahon sounds pretty cool. She’s way better than Linda McMahon.

    What, though, is “the Democrat National Convention?”

    Also, why is that one guy not learning his lesson?

  2. [re=629247]Geogre[/re]: I was searching for the address of the Democratic Party headquarters for my county yesterday and Google asked me if I meant “Democrat Party” headquarters. Pissed me off.

  3. The groin, a body part that universally represents “all Republicans”?

    Close, but I thought they were all dicks. And/or assholes.

    Another failure of the socialist American education system.

  4. [re=629251]JMP[/re]: If that was my perversion I’d still demand that a more attractive woman than Linda administer the kicks I craved.

  5. Obama’s bailout?
    Who was president when the Wall Street bailout passed again?
    That aside, I’m all for having senators willing and able to kick people in the balls. It would make filibusters much more entertaining.

  6. McMahon should pay to air this commercial for her opponent, as it will win her far more votes among Connecticut’s suburban soccer moms than it will cost her among the ball-bearing teabagging portion of the electorate.

  7. I’ve always thought “money bomb” was an appropriate-sounding term for Paultard fundraising. It sounds like something a sociopathic 20-something B-school dropout would come up with.

  8. Loathe though I am to educate you Liberal Commie Pinko SCUM:

    Nutshots usually are a Bad Idea. It’s a hard target to hit, because men instinctively block. Also, your leg is too high, and makes a too-convenient handle.

    Better to break the lead kneecap. And then go for the Adams Apple/throat as he falls forward. Once he is on the ground, THEN you can kick him in the balls.

    Save the fun stuff for last, in other words.

    [Although finding a modern Republican who actually has a pair may be problematic.]

    Twai Khang Neilist: “When you can snatch the car keys from my hand, it will be time for you to leave.”

  9. [re=629267]Chernobyl Soup[/re]: I guess Google is trying to substitute for being a dummy?

    Google suggest is a great game. If you type in “Sarah Palin” it suggests “breast implants,” so Wonkette by itself is as powerful as a concerted effort of dickless rightwing blowhards working for ten years.

  10. [re=629251]JMP[/re]: [re=629279]x111e7thst[/re]: It is taking every last ounce of my willpower not to link to a half dozen websites I know of which specialize in the ancient erotic art of ball kicking, ball busting, crushing, trampling, CBT, and whatnot. The Japanese ones alone could render a guy impotent and sterile!

    (Unless that guy happened to be a Republican — then, he’d not only be impotent and sterile, but also mortified by the fact that those photos taken at the last leadership conference “break-out strategy session” somehow ended-up online.)

  11. Please tell me these guys saw Idiocracy and are trying to be ironic, and not actually bringing on the dystopian world of Ow My Balls

  12. [re=629282]FidoMcCokefiend[/re]: With David Vitter in the party, I think it should be spelled “Repubic party convention”.

  13. [re=629354]comicbookguy[/re]: Actually, it doesn’t make a difference. I’m meeting more and more hipsters who claim they un-ironically like some bit of trash. Camp was fun at first, but everything is far too stupid now – there’s nothing we can do. This website itself, as funny as it is, points to our impotence.

  14. I always remember when Linda McM would come on WWF TV, and she would be the most wooden-sounding bad actor in the ring. Considering she was competing with the rest of her idiotic family, plus the likes of Hulk Hogan, that’s saying a lot.

  15. [re=629571]masterofzen[/re]: Damn, beat me to it. Good knowing I’m not the only wrestling fan here or maybe I am?)

    [re=629267]Chernobyl Soup[/re]: If only there were something as mean-spirited to call the other side. “Republic Party” just doesn’t get it.

  16. On behalf of all of my fellow Connecticutians (?!), I apologize for our current and potentially elected representatives. With liberty, Vietnam and steriods for all.

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