Obama Causing the Apocalypse, According To Mike Huckabee’s TeeVee Show

isn’t ‘raw socialism’ really sashimi-ism ?

[re=628676]Cant Buy a Thrill[/re]: “Raw” socialism? I prefer my socialism well done.

And FWIW, this Huckabee show is such a collection of wingnuts that it should be sponsored by Planter’s.

If we’re living in the end times, there’s no point in watching Huckabee on teevee any more. Yep, because of those end times, that’s the reason.

And since when is a novelist (term used as loosely as a prossie who’s been fucking horses)a prophet?

OK, so because of Barry we’re going to get both the second coming of Reagan and the second coming of Christ? So why are these people so freaking mad about it? Just keep hoarding your gold doubloons and ammunition, and pray to yourselves QUIETLY like the widow in the parable, and you get a free ticket to heaven/Capitalist paradise in 2-6 years.

I think that there is a good chunk of the population that will swallow an infinite amount of bullshit that is tossed at them. Stands to reason, right?

I saw this .. but thought it was an infomercial for colon cleansing.

So how come when Dubya was bringing on the apocalypse deliberately it was great and all you shits were behind it, but now that a black man is bringing it on due to — um — trying to fix the economy? — you think it’s terrible? It’s the same damn apocalypse you’ve been pining for all your damn lives, isn’t it? Unless, like your political philosophy, you use your LORD and his genocidal, homophobic, father-seducing, patricidal, filicidal, lying, cheating, stealing, historically, scientifically, mathematically and just plain common-sensily totally inaccurate WORD as a weapon to cudgel your enemies and boost your sorry egos with, as though you hypocrites were the end that justifies the means instead of your sacred LORD.

Christ on a fucking biscuit, Huckabee and LaHaye — I’d concede the existence of a deity in a fight with you just so I could point out how fucking self-serving your greater purpose seems to be. And there aren’t many people so disgusting I’d sink that low to pee on, so you should be proud. I know your LORD is.

They packed a lot into that 53 seconds.

Conservatives never change: they award credibility and follow anyone able to pen out anything that might pass for literature. Case in point: they believe everything that’s written in The Bible–a book of fiction. They believe all the shit Ayn Rand wrote–also fiction, and they believe whatever comes out of Tim LaHaye’s mouth–another fiction writer wannabe.

Obama is also responsible for Huck Fuck’s arsonist, bedwetting, fat-assed, dog torturing, psychopathic son. Go figure.

Tim LaHaye is the motherfucker who “rites” those Left Behind “books.”

You would think he’d be orgasmic that Barry is one of the 4 Horseman of the Apocalypse, but noooooo. Stupid fuckers can’t have it both ways.

Inception as a Christian allegory. If you die you escape limbo and ride the kick into Heaven.

Oops, forgot muh source: http://www.taxfoundation.org/taxdata/show/22685.html

The environment turns to shit, with a third of the oceans turning to blood and a third of the rivers and streams becoming non-potable.

Global warming reaches levels actively hostile to human life, all sea life dies, and there’s a war in and around Iraq.

Lest I forget, there’s also a real bastard of a political executive who’s totally on board with bulldozing the Dome of the Rock or really any goddamn thing Israel wants to do, at least for one or two sessions of Congress.

I don’t know if Barack Obama is the Antichrist, but if he is, it sounds like he’ll have lots of Republican support until Jesus returns and institutes single-payer health insurance reform.

Jeebs. At least the fucking nuts who used to carry “the end is near” signs around all day had the class to stop bugging folks on their way to work. Now these two dumbfucks want to ruin weekends?

Was there some dumbfuckistani meeting over at Fox that was top secret? Who let all these throwback idjits loose all of sudden? Even fucking Schafly came the fuck out of the crypt to opine about the Black man: http://blog.seattlepi.com/seattlepolitics/archives/216267.asp?from=blog_last3

(Of course, this also implicates La Moose et al, so you won’t hear this shit all over Fux snooze.)

yes yes but how IS la lohan???

[re=628719]Kazoom[/re]: Before you raise the hammer and sickle over Arkansas you should know that we’re a mite short of workers’ paradise even if we seem to get a slightly bigger piece of Auntie Sam’s rhubarb pie. Just one example: in a state that ranks second in childhood poverty, we pay sales taxes on groceries. And of course, everything else, and an income tax, etc. The legislature meets for three weeks every two years and is term limited. This is perhaps the only reason we haven’t seen the introduction of an inversely sliding tax scale with marginal approaching 100% as income nears $0.

jesus, i could use a bout of some nice, raw socialism. lately, it’s just been me and the hidden hand of the market.

If Huckabee is on the 2010 ticket, and this kind of shit isn’t brought up, whoever’s running the DNC at that point will really deserve a kick in the nuts.

I wrote some subprime mortgage software once. It worked really well. So I’m probably going to hell for that already, but thanks.

[re=628736]EdFlinstone[/re]: If you want a sign that the end days are near, consider for a moment one of these guys was governor of the benighted shit-hole known as “Arkansas” and the other has sold millions of unreadable, unbelievably puerile books to morans.”

Does that little edit help?

Raw socialism, panacea, apocalypse, waggaman, the end times, this guy knows the words that make my heart beat.

[re=628701]SayItWithWookies[/re]: It’s even worse if you’re an old line religious.

The eschatology business kicked into high gear in the 1970′s, when the “Panic in the Streets” turned into just general “USA = Rome” turned into “Awaken, because it’s the end.” There had been a business in it for a long, long time, smoldering and moldering among the fringes, but it took center stage for the evangelicals in the 1970′s.

LeHaye and Chuck Colson are big into cashing the checks now. LeHaye’s Left Behind series makes huge amounts of money. In it, you can read about the chisel featured hero and his “Rapture Rangers” going around, etc. (Oh, and the Jews convert or burn up.)

When W. was in, they started getting agitated, like a kicked bee hive. There was and is a group trying to breed a red heifer to send to Israel so that there can be a second David (who will be the Jewish king, the actual anti-christ, according to these folks). They’re based in Texas. See, they’re going to force God to hurry up.

Now, they’re going to slow God down. For people who worship God, they sure seem to have a ton of pride.

The world actually ended on December 31, 1999, remember?!? That’s when all the computers went nuts because they couldn’t handle switching over to 2000. All the IT guys worked double-time, scaring the crap out of everyone, but despite getting paid triple-time and several tons of takeout food, they still couldn’t fix it.

Tim LaHaye is still alive? Why?

[re=628701]SayItWithWookies[/re]: Decaf

[re=628767]cheaphits[/re]: Good idea, but I was thinking that that we’d be better political candidates, because most wonketteers are smarter and more knowledgable about politics than almost anyone, and more interesting than your leftie DKos/Huffposers. We could start a WonkPAC and get hipster weirdos elected.

The fat guy lost me at 0:01 with “Doctor LaHaye,…”

Doctor? Really? OK let’s check this out. Mmmm, Internet says he has “a doctor of ministry degree from Western Theological Seminary.”

THE Western Theological Seminary? The one in Holland, Michigan? OK let’s check that place out. Go to homepage, let’s see, what does it have to say about Admissions?

Number 1 criterion for admission: “I have a warm and personal faith as an intentional follower of Jesus Christ.”

So he’s a Jeebus doctor.

[re=628797]Scaggsville guy[/re]: Indeed not.

Western Theological Seminar is not a general run of the mill seminar. If you were to try to get into Duke Theology or Temple or the seminaries associated with Stanford, you would be assessed by your GRE scores, college transcripts, and the education would be largely secular. (It really would be. That’s the complaint from the fundamentalists.) People with strong belief could continue to have their beliefs, but they would be taught about the various languages and edits in the Bible, the cultures of the near east, the historical development of the religion, etc.

On the other hand, there are these reactionary seminaries that have decided, quite consciously, to put the fervor of a belief ahead of the strength of reason. Their work is in apologetics, reading like-minded arguments against others, and essentially stocking up on reactions against the regular seminaries. Hence, they are pervaded with a deep sense of persecution. Eschatology is *huge* there. End Times is practically the alma mater.

If you see WTS, you know that you’re dealing with a movement conservative, because anyone else would be ejected.

[re=628772]Egregious[/re]: “Are we now living in the End Times, from your perspective?”

I like the ‘from your perspective’ qualifier. Huckabee retains the option of dissocciation from LeHaye if he proves too crazy-sounding for a guy with political ambitions to align himself with. Trying to have it both ways seems to me almost hypocritical. Does it to you?

[re=628685]Noodle Salad[/re]: Exactly. That’s the whole thought behind the Obama=Carter meme. To make Sarah Palin look more like the Blessed St. Ronnie to the unwashed masses. I have to imagine that in the secret underground lair of the RNC, some AV Club nerd is working on a campaign ad that has the visage of the Blessed St. Ronnie morphing into Bible Spice.