IMPORTANT NEWS: Yes, the cover of Sarah Palin’s next book has been revealed, and TeamSarah.org is positively agog. Asks “Tainler,” “Does anyone think this is another step towards a presidential run?” Yes, yes we do. How many American flags are there here? Three. 3+1(“#1 New York Times Bestseller”)=4. How many years is a presidential term? FOUR. There you go. “Great Cover. Why America and not American?” asks “Maggie in Indiana.” Because words with the letter “n” in them are racial slurs. Oh wait, we have to make a Blingee for this.
There. We fixed your book cover for you, Sarah.
Oh, here is another important thing from Team Sarah today:
Should we boycott Disney?
Disney, which owns ABC, allows Joy Behar to insult not only Sarah Palin but Wasilla , Alaska- by comparing Sarah to Snooki.
I canceled my trip to Disney. They were quite upset.
And the response:
Goo0d for you…If you are in Orlando go and see the Holy Land experience..
{ 104 comments }
Yeah, I’d be embarrassed too. Snooki is worth more than Sarah.
OK. Its official. I am not never watching anything having to do with a river in northern Italy which used to mark the border of what cisalpine gaul?
Yes. Take on Disney. Please. Somebody’s gotta lose that one. Jesus wins either way.
“America by Heart”? Really? She’s actually managed to outdo “I am America and So are You” ob the stupid-patriotic front, and that was a parody. It also sounds like a bad country music album (OK that’s redundant), probably by one of the many identical youngish women with big pouffy bleached blond hair, giant gleaming white fake teeth, and makeup that would put Mimi from Drew Carey to shame.
Justin Bieber? OH COME ON, Jack. Adam Lambert would’ve been so much more fitting, donchaknow.
“America by Hand”
i don’t care how much they airbrush her photos , how plastic surgery she has , or how much make-up she backhoes on her face . she’s still a fucking shithead grifter .
[re=628523]JMP[/re]:
“These are the things I believe” was taken.
More like “America by Chicken Scrawl on my Hand”
She’s working on a trilogy. The next one will be in a cookbook format and called “Word Salad – Shit Sarah Palin Says”.
I’m starting to think her brain imploded under the weight of all that truly great American hair.
Meanwhile, she’ll rake in another eight or ten mil of the rubes’ dwindling resources, while Todd smirks about getting away with it again – this time without even having to pay a ghost.
No, your math is wrong — 3 American flags plus NYT citation (-1) is 2. Which is half a term. So yes, she’s planning on running.
Does she have a big ol’ “L” on her forehead? What does that mean?
America by Heart”? Really? What the Heck does that mean? Hmmm:
(1) “I have memorized America”. Unlikely, for someone that has to write “tax cuts” on her hand.
(2) “A trip through America, as filtered through my Heart”. Seeing as she’s not seen very much of America, at least the lower 48, and does not have much heart for future son-in-laws, it might be a very short book.
(3) “By captilizing Heart I mean the old rock group Heart, two spunky, maybe even grizzly dames”.
(4) “And by America I do not mean”The Americas”, or even “North America”, but my own geocentric view of the (United States of) America”
Who is the ghost writer for this one?
Oh, gaddammit. Now I have renew my Costco membership and spend all my Ameros on practice ‘maters.
I just know this is all a set up so she can claim “I wrote two books too, just like that OTHER ONE” when campaigning in 2012.
ABC “allowed” one of their TV hosts to say something? What, Palin wants live TV to be scripted now?
[re=628523]JMP[/re]: watch your tongue re: country music.
I hope she addresses her breast implants and The Great Hookworm Conjecture.
Um, Justin Bieber is Canadian. This whole thing is a sham!
OOOOOOOOH!! Disney is so scared.
[re=628539]SayItWithWookies[/re]: But you (and Jack) missed the subtitle; I think the word “Flag” should count as a use.
A thousand whore diamonds. Love the meaningful commentary via white lady “angel” pissing her “<3 u”s on metamorphosing USA.
needs moar phoney baloney amerkia sinbolism.
Having “written” her second book, makes 2 books moar than shes read.
C’mon guys, fish gotta swim, birds gotta fly, grifters…they’re always hunting the next mark.
Thousands of right thinking Americans will plunk down their money to read the wordsalad that trickles from the painted lips of the Mamma Grizzly herself, blissfully unaware that it was actually written by Chinese prison labor. For them, this is a critically important examination of all things American.
Ahhh Capitalism, it’s what makes Haiti the tropical island paradise we’ve all come to know and love!
Can’t wait until it’s 1212 and she finally can save us from those bad things that are happen that, you know, Moms know are wrong for their children and that are coming from Washington.
[re=628542]Ancient_Hacker[/re]: But the band Heart had actual talent. For a while anyway; then they got fat and released “All I Wanna do is Make Love to You”.
[re=628548]Mad Brahms[/re]: Obviously, all networks should immediately fire anyone who the teabaggers believe even mildly insults their great queen and masturbatory aid. Even when it’s not truly an insult, since Behar compared her to a woman who is much more intelligent and useful to society than Palin.
I like how the angel is crapping a heart, which then splashes back up at her.
That’s a metaphor for something; I’m just too drunk to figure out what.
Yes, blame Joy Behar. Blame one of the most irrelevant people on TV for being mean to poow widda Sawah. For all her/their bluster, Palin and her dingbat followers are remarkably thin skinned. She reminds me of the kid I knew in elementary school who teased me relentlessly and – the day I pushed back – instantly ran to the teacher to tell on me for being a bully.
What a stupid vindictive bitch.
“American By Heart” makes more sense grammatically and rhetorically. But I’m not a skilled Shakespearean wordsmythe like Lady Sarah Palington III. I assume she knows best.
That’s why I’m only buying America cheese at the deli from now on. Also, fly on America Airlines. Plus, watch America Idol (love ya Ellen, just not that way).
I’d still hit it.
I’d hate myself. But I would.
Although, I’d want her to repeat some of the Deathless Dialogue from “Nailing Palin.”
Or maybe just “Please don’t get any in my eyes. Please!”
[Oooooh, now I feel REALLY DIRTY.]
She’s smart. She wears glasses.
[re=628555]JMP[/re]: So you think it means she’ll serve three years? Nah, there’s no way she’d go the whole distance. (Shh, don’t tell her it’s four — it should be a surprise).
With consecutive blockbuster bestselling non-fiction works, Gov. Sarah Palin firmly establishes her position as America’s leading lady of literature in the 21st Century.
That’s a big city weave for such a frontier gal.
I think the wood pulp used to print this crap would have been better used to make more toilet paper.
>She’s smart. She wears glasses.
I wonder about that. To use a Fox News rhetorical twist: Could it just be, that in order to
shift her image away from failed sportscaster and quitting governor, she sports classy eye-doodads
sans need, without a prescription? Sorta like Levi’s mom does with other prescriptions?
I guess including Bieber in every blingee is better than ever actually mentioning him in the posts. Still, this Bieberianism is starting to take its toll.
When people on the teevee say anything mean about a politician, it’s important to boycott their associated businesses. (Especially if your kids would really rather go to Holy Land Experience than Space Mountain. “It’ll be lot’s of fun.”) That’s why I never shop at Fox Books, watch Jeff Foxworthy — who’s the smart one now! — or visit the Foxy Lady Gentlemen’s Club.
“America By Heart” would make total sense if she could name all fifty states while looking at an outlined map of the US. However, I doubt very much that she could get beyond 15 states, if that.
She pops out books as easily as she pops out kids — and with similar regularity! But was this a surprise? I didn’t realize she was expecting a new book.
Oh, Sarah, why also do you also need in addition to an american flag pin also an american flag bracelet, also?
Last time Sarah’s ghostwriter released a book, I seem to recall there was a Blingee contest, and things to win.
I have been waiting for this moment. I have rested. I have reflected. I have learned much from Wonkette, and have striven to master the form. And I hope I am ready:
http://bln.gs/b/1wdb4k
Her nose looks kind of big and it surely can’t be her best smile, still the overall marketing is genius
Must not open Photoshop…Must not open Photoshop…Must not open Photoshop…
Using the word “reflections “in the book title insinuates that some thinking was involved in the writing of this book. Yeeeeeaaaaahhhhh. Right.
[re=628537]FlownOver[/re]: It’s like she has the hair of five pentecostal women. Astounding.
[re=628520]ManchuCandidate[/re]: “Yeah, I’d be embarrassed too. Snooki is worth more than Sarah.”
I am so unhappy to agree with you there.
Is that little angel Blingie pooping bleeding hearts?
[re=628570]SpenceRedux[/re]: Stupid hipster sara with the empty frames. I bet she’s got an “ironic” tattoo somewhere to go with her dominatrix boots.
Blingee need moar dancing penises.
[re=628584]RoscoePColtraine[/re]: But did she really deliver this one, or is it someone else’s?
Also, I’ll give her this: bitch has some good hair (pieces).
SPECIAL OFFER FROM NEWSMAX!!
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including a down loadable image of the proposed cover of Sarah Palin’s new book!
A $50.00 dollar value that’s yours free!
I thought Palin’s next book was named Rubicon. Could you marketing types please dumb it down a bit for me? Sheesh.
[re=628587]snarkopolitan[/re]: You done good.
This crap from that sled-dog sucking piece of trash is too cynical for words, but I tried. And WHO thought up the title? It must have caused mirth, moderate cumming, and a lot of quick mental addition involving dollar signs. Christ on fucking toast, these asswipes make me throw-up, as retard baby Jesus weeps.
She’s canceling a trip to Disneyland? What, and forcing her kids to miss out on the CONSTITUTIONALLY REQUIRED experience of witnessing “Great Moments With Mr. Lincoln”?
[re=628541]KanZan[/re]: Double-barrel buckshot! Get crazy with the Cheez Whiz! Drive-by body pierce!
[re=628587]snarkopolitan[/re]: Back in the early 80s, I played bass in a short-lived all-transvestite skinhead hair band named Bumpit McCarthy that once opened for the Dead Kennedys.
True story!
[re=628601]Accordion-o-rama[/re]: The world needs more dancing penises, not fewer.
Yes, “by heart”, meaning “from memory”. She knows, remembers nothing. In this case, “heart” more seems to resemble Colbert’s “gut” :
http://politicalhumor.about.com/od/stephencolbert/a/colbertbush.htm
That’s where the truth lies, right down here in the gut. Do you know you have more nerve endings in your gut than you have in your head? You can look it up. Now, I know some of you are going to say, “I did look it up, and that’s not true.” That’s ’cause you looked it up in a book. Next time, look it up in your gut. I did. My gut tells me that’s how our nervous system works.
She’s a nice lookin’ broad. Too bad she can talk.
Bet it’s full of a bunch of rehashed corny crap from old Reader’s Digest magazines. Her fan base won’t know the difference.
If only the carpet matched the drapes.
As long as her third book involves coloring, I’m all in.
[re=628529]rmjag[/re]: Unlike me, she’s been getting some work done.
i need to take that to the bathroom close the door and relieve myself. then we ll consider the flag.
To the Wingtardia and Teabaggers: Is this all it takes to get you to vote against your own interests? Didnt W play these same cards last time, and it got you the worst net job creation of ANY president since they started keeping these records. As a bonus you also got the Clinton surpluses turned into huge deficits, and oh yeah the economy cratered, millions of lost jobs and your 401k’s tanked and the value of your house probably went down. Ah, Good Times. Talk about a cheap date. Is this is all it takes for republicans to use you to benefit their better looking date(i.e. the rich)? A little cheap patriotism, a few god and family values references?
Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to Liberty University, dressed in my best flag shirt, armed with some nice biblical references and family photos and a pocket full of trojans, because I plan on banging every co-ed in the dorms.
Reflections on Family, Faith, and Flag
Fuck syntax!
A few of you may be old enough to remember way back when the right wing crazies rallied behind (hehe) George Wallace, the nigger hating governor of Alabama who ran for president to save Amurrika from the darkies.
He siphoned votes from the long forgotten Republican candidate, and Jimmy Carter was crowned King of the free world for a brief period.
Sarah Palin could be the next (hell, she IS) George Wallace.
IhopeIhopeIhopeIhope she runs for president.
Santa?
Remember that Daisy Red Ryder BB air rifle that I asked for for Christmas over and over again?
The one I never got?
Santa, PLEASE make Sarah Palin a presidential candidate real soon.
I still believe in you.
[re=628584]RoscoePColtraine[/re]:
You meant to say “poops” right?
I did not know angels pooped pink hearts.
Wonkette is always so informative.
[re=628637]EdFlinstone[/re]: of course the Teabaggers are a cheap date, they fucking drink tea not Diva vodka shots.
Keep putting yourself in the spotlight, Sarah. By November, even some of the most devoted Teabaggers won’t be able to stomach any more of you or your Christian family values bullshit.
[re=628539]SayItWithWookies[/re]: She’ll run and win – but quit halfway through in order to run for Wasilla PTA President, which is a way more important-ish and better-er job.
This is a great day for America! *sob* No more stupid up-do!
The letters “A” and “I” in Palin jut out from the back of her head like horns.
Nice design.
[re=628568]Neilist[/re]: I probably could have hit it last month but Frisch’s Palin from Ayn Rand in the 21st century haunts me like concentration camp newreels.
Is that a shit-eating grin or is she bitching at the photographer through her teeth? Maybe both.
[re=628626]rocktonsammy[/re]: If they had pictures I might buy the book.
AMERICA BY HEART – DIPSHIT BY CHOICE
[re=628584]RoscoePColtraine[/re]: Retardation also seems to be a theme common to both her books and children.
Oh my! Here are Sarah’s latest 2 tweets:
SarahPalinUSA President w/no time to visit porous US/Mexican border to offer help to those risking life to secure us,but lotso’ time to chat on The View?
SarahPalinUSA I’m headed to border in near future… let’s see how quickly his travel schedule will allow that border visit after all.
Is this true? Palin is headed to the US/Mexican border?
It seems as if Moosalini doesn’t think 1200 National Guard troops, plus another $500 million requested by the WH, is enough, and she should see to this matter, personally.
Will this be spoofed by the animators in Hong Kong?
Remember the Alamo!
The cover mockup left out the “30% Off” sticker that will be bunged on this fucker immediately in markets where people with a full set of teeth are not considered to be “putting on airs.”
The Blingee is dead-on.
[re=628590]Extemporanus[/re]: No kidding.
I can hear the grumblings of the rightwing think tanks getting ready to buy her books in mass again.
I guess in this context we can mean “by heart” to mean “cribbed with Sharpie notes on the palm.”
I would so still do her. I know, I know it’s still wrong but still,….
[re=628574]Okie Dokie Dog[/re]: PLEASE do not let the fact that this paper happens to be in the form of book pages stop you from using it as TP. Preferably the morning after a schnapps-drinking contest or a Taco Bell overindulgence.
The back cover has all the thumbnails of the Palin family committing various asundry sex acts, just like the cover and back cover of a porn video.
C’mon Sarah. SHOW US YOUR TITS.
I’d cum on it.
[re=628707]WalkinwiththeKing[/re]: What happened? She doesn’t even look like herself any more.
I, for one, like the original cover. It reminds me of what it means to be a Republican: vapid, artistically-shallow, and boring.
My favorite sign in all of Orlando is an exit sign on a highway that looks like this:
Mall at Millennia ->
Holy Land Experience <-
DILEMMAS.
[re=628771]1,500lb goalie[/re]: I’ve gotten off I-4 at that exit and I always select “Mammon” over “god.” Dilemma solved.
This book will most definitely be required “reading” for at least one Beck University course.
[re=628761]Imusthaveleftmyhouseat8[/re]:
Obviously a result of her massive hookworm infestation. But to Sarah, denial is a river in Egypt…
Shouldn’t the book be called “America’s Fart”?
“Reflections on Family, Faith, and Flag” – not only grammatically incorrect but three things that have nothing to do with America.
Who did this book cover? Damn! They must have had their airbrushes set for STUN. She looks so youthful and non skanky. Seriously, bitch needs more work done than Mount Rushmore. How is it that my TV shows her as having one eye that crosses and now both of her peepers appear to be facing in the same general direction?
I’m afraid to pan up in the comments to see who mentioned “practice ‘maters from Costco” for fear that I will see this book cover photo again. My sphincter muscle charlie-horsed so freaking badly that am thinking about seeking medical attention here. Anyway, don’t waste good tomato resources like that. A water balloon will work just as good. Oh, and put it in the freezer for four days first. You can count on me to chip in $50.00 for your troubles and to buy some larger pants for you. I have a feeling that once people hear of you they will be sending you cases of Omaha Steaks and lobster tails.
I hate this woman so much it hurts.
Meh. I’m awaiting her “America through the back door”.
“Reflections”? Oh, Rod McKuen, how we miss you.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LNYEq-MJgSM
A flag pin & a flag bracelet but no Christian cross necklace?
[re=628568]Neilist[/re]: I’d still hit it. That is a really good picture of her.
[re=628542]Ancient_Hacker[/re]: Someone has created a computer program to crank (crap?) out Sarah Palin books/articles.
[re=628568]Neilist[/re]: Because you’re in prison and haven’t seen a woman in a long time?
[re=628598]Maus[/re]: The rose you see is a facial tattoo.
[re=628637]EdFlinstone[/re]: Have you just realized that she’s W in dress? That’s why she’ll win.
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