Shirley Sherrod Vows To Help Liberal Bloggers By Suing Breitbart

  economic stimulus

Relax with an anus-dawg and enjoy yr summer!!!1!In these rancid sweltering days of summer when smart people are at their beach houses and only the poor and the dumb continue to “show up for work,” media professionals understand that there’s basically no news, and no audience for that lack of news. In late summers past, interns and near-retirement burnouts would dump a steady flow of pure bullshit into the world’s media stream, just to keep everything sort of functioning. UFOs, bears eating campers, “talking dildos,” Mother Mary on a quesadilla, surfing dogs, Wikileaks, weird speculation about what kind of awful secret Tim Russert took to his grave to allow Luke Russert to still stutter and sweat on MSNBC … these were the staples of the news business, until the grownups got back from the Hamptons and saw all the ratings and circulation and whatever all went right in the crapper, just like last summer. But this year is different, in at least one respect: Shirley Sherrod has vowed to keep page views and Nielsen ratings steady until Labor Day by announcing her plans to sue Andrew Breitbart in court, for that thing he did to her, because she was a random black person who worked for the Farm Bureau somewhere.

Yes, people who cannot manage to turn off the news or turn away from the Internet: Shirley is bringing the controversy back for a final Summer Jam.

Speaking at San Diego’s popular “Comic Con” today, Sherrod announced her intention to dress Breitbart in a “big baby suit” and have the Justice League beat the shit out of him:

Ousted Agriculture Department staffer Shirley Sherrod said Thursday she plans to sue the conservative blogger who falsely portrayed her as a racist.

“I will definitely do it,” Sherrod said at the National Association of Black Journalists convention in San Diego.

Sherrod said Andrew Breitbart knew what he was doing when he posted a doctored video that made it appear she was boasting about mistreating a white farmer.

Thank you, Mrs. Sherrod, for helping both liberal websites and conservative broadcasters survive another few weeks of this never-ending Depression. [New York Daily News]

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A writer and editor of this website from 2006 to early 2012, Ken Layne is occassionally seen on Twitter and writes small books and is already haunting you from beyond (your) grave.

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55 comments

  1. actor212

    This Charade sherrod is getting out of hand! I thought she quit her job, but since she’ll be making money the way she always has, by sucking at the welfare teat of activist judges, she’s clearly still working for the supersecret Obama anti-capitalist plan!

    (you know, I never realized how much aerobic exercise a winger gets by breathlessly typing random letters)

  2. Texan Bulldoggette

    Hope she gets everything Brietfart owns–including the fur coats O’Keefe used & all his TruckNutz! But I expect this will lead to Fox News declaring Sherrod racist again because black people aren’t allowed to sue white people…

  3. Roar

    Well, we all know that Andrew has 100K just sitting around, so I think we know what kind of damages we’re talking here.

  4. JMP

    Unfortunately she probably won’t be able to get much from Breitbart; since the bullshit was fairly quickly and publicly debunked, and then she was offered her job back, her damages would probably just be the lost wages from the few days between her firing and the rehiring offer.

  5. JackDempsey

    This is great news.
    I suggest that both sides agree to use a professional chosen from the Association of Honesst Attorneys and get down to business some time in 2015. Meeting adjourned.

  6. Lazy Media

    [re=628410]Rosie Scenario[/re]: Don’t tell Ken Layne about this, but Firefox + Noscript = never seeing any ads. Keep it under your hat.

  7. ManchuCandidate

    I’d rather her attorney turn into a great game. Start asking questions about who funds him, whether or not Bitpart’s fucked O’Keef or a Chihuahua or his sources or who what he ate last Sunday.

    I’m sure BitPart will appreciate the irony of going all Ken Starr on his ass. Um, maybe not.

  8. Bearbloke

    [re=628419]Lazy Media[/re]: Who’s this “Ken Layne” person? – is he just some drunkard Jack Stuef fished out of the gutter?

  9. Mad Brahms

    This feels like a bad move. It’s fairly hard to prove slander in this country, and it plays right into the hands of the “blacks are persecuting whites, and taking away our free speech with socialism” hand the tea party bases itself on.

    I want to see Bitpart embarrassed and penniless, too, but this will only ensure his continued popularity and up his exposure.

  10. Mad Brahms

    [re=628434]Mad Brahms[/re]: Mmm, redundancy. Ignore one pair of “hands” in that hastily-written post.
    [re=628419]Lazy Media[/re]: But then what would we do if we wanted to see Siemens on our screens?

  11. weejee

    Since Breitbart is such a pig, will Shirley’s attorneys have to hire a Razzorback to serve him? You know someone who can really yell out SOOIE, PIG, PIG, PIG.

  12. Cheney Guevara

    [re=628434]Mad Brahms[/re]: i don’t think it’s that strong a legal case, but I’m fairly certain that not bringing this lawsuit will have ZERO effect on 99% of the tea party, much less dipshits who believe blacks are persecuting whites to install socialism.

  13. Gorillionaire

    Reichfart will probably say something like: “I’ll settle with you for $11 Skidillion.” Sherrod will say “well ok”. Then Reichfart will call the Koch family and the Mellon-Schafers and the Bin Ladens and say “holy fuck help me out here I need $11 skidillion bucks, fast!”

  14. weejee

    [re=628443]Mad Brahms[/re]: You can dial in NoScripts to let some sources in. It really is quite flexible.

  15. Mad Brahms

    [re=628446]Cheney Guevara[/re]: But since so much of Tea Party ideology is based on confirmation bias and selective memory, do you think this will change any minds? I guess I’m a cynic, but I just see this feeding in to FOX News’ narrative about the repression of free speech and of conservatives specifically.

  16. mustardman

    Now she is milking this thing for all it’s worth. Can’t say I blame her but time to start looking at the watch and wonder out loud when her 15minutes are up.

  17. Jukesgrrl

    Under ObamaCommunismâ„¢, the more money Shirl makes, the more she’ll be passing around to the rest of us. What’s not to like about this redistribution of wealth stuff? Keep lying, Brightfart! Even if your money has The Taint, the smell goes away real quick when it ends up in my pocket.

  18. SayItWithWookies

    Maybe she should sue that asswipe Vilsack for believing anything he sees on Breitbart’s sites, period.

  19. Papas got a brand new teabag

    I’d like to see all of Breitbart’s email records subpoenaed just to see exactly who is in cahoots with whom over at the FuxNews.

    and maybe, just maybe, there will be some gay rentbay correspondence mixed in there along with the furious mutual masturbation fantasies he surely exchanges with Sean Hannity on a daily.

  20. chaste everywhere

    Mother Mary’s appearing on the quesadilla I’m scarfin’ right now. (Late lunch, long story.)

  21. JMP

    [re=628459]SayItWithWookies[/re]: As a lawyer, I’d say believing anything on one of Brietbart’s two dozen BigSites constitutes acting with reckless disregard towards the truth.

  22. ArugulaTeleprompterz

    Last night Luk Russert was on Top Chef. Perhaps he’s considering a new career as professional eater?

  23. Lazy Media

    [re=628449]weejee[/re]: Yeah, and I, uh, allow all scripts on Wonkette. So Ken Layne is getting paid and everything. Honest.

  24. ArugulaTeleprompterz

    [re=628478]ArugulaTeleprompterz[/re]: DAMN! LUKE Russert… I should think about a new career scrawling wingnut signs, apparently…

  25. comicbookguy

    Meh, he’ll make up the difference with RNC speaking fees. I wonder Steele will ask for his help reaching out to the NAACP?

  26. marioninnyc

    You know you have an information addiction problem, when a story like this is not safe for work because it makes you scream in organic ecstasy. Who am I kidding? I lost my job months ago because I couldn’t get off the net.

  27. Escape Goat Nation

    Fox Breaking News:
    Eric Holder opens door for coloreds to take White America to court.

    Haven’t looked at Fox Nation yet, (a little afraid to) but this is exactly the kind of Red Meat story that the editors of that site love to dangle in front of the droolers.

  28. lawrenceofthedesert

    I hope the lawsuit is for defamation of character, which Brightfart certainly committed with malice, and the hate crime/racial nature of the act should lend itself to a handsome award if tried right. Not to mention suing the pants off of Brightfart’s corporate superiors for their wanton lack of oversight on their ever-loosening cannon, and every media company that picked up the story without checking particulars.

  29. GOPCrusher

    [re=628481]comicbookguy[/re]: ONE NIGHT ONLY! ANDREW BREITBART PRESENTS-I WAS A VICTIM OF BLACK RACISM!

  30. PlanetWingnuta

    [re=628434]Mad Brahms[/re]: why be concerned about that…he was wrong…dead wrong…she was damaged by his lies…now he’s gonna have to pay for it (hopefully thru the nose and every pore of his body. and its so not a bad move…a bad move would be to do nothing.

  31. Mad Brahms

    [re=628489]Escape Goat Nation[/re]: Until your post, I didn’t even know FOX Nation existed. And now after reading their headlines, I curse your name.

  32. carlgt1

    Breitbart should be put in the stocks and the rest of us can throw raw eggs at him (like the egg he cried about hitting a Tea Party Express bus; as if the damn egg was a Molotov cocktail….)


  33. Post author
    Ken Layne

    [re=628419]Lazy Media[/re]: Oh I’ve got something under my hat all right. Thanks for visiting, and sorry you’re offended that the site you read all day and use as a personal blog actually employs a few people.

  34. Surfeit O'Hubris

    I would dearly love to see the end with Sherrod taking a virtual plow and salt to Breitfart’s various web sites.

    Then an article on media matters noted, “Two other veteran defamation lawyers said she could have a case against Breitbart OR FOX NEWS (emphsis mine) if certain findings are made.” This seriously warms the cockles of my heart, and various other cockles.

  35. Geogre

    No, this is good.

    This is good, and there is no bad to it. Let Bitefart defend some. Let him be the victim for a while. Let’s let him find out that there are consequences for him, too.

    In the Bush years, people with flippin’ bumper stickers got detained by the police, and these people were all about “more power to the president, he’s your commander in chief,” so yes, and I hope she sues him some place without a SLAP law, some place with a Johnson-era Democrat on the bench.

  36. Advocatus_Diaboli

    [re=628452]mustardman[/re]: oh, and by the way; fuck you. I’d like to see Sherrod v. Douchebag at the top of my cite alerts for the next five years.

  37. WiscoJoe

    As part of the settlement, Breitbart should agree to go to rehab. Am I wrong, or does he have serious substance abuse issues? At the least alcholism and at the worst meth? I hear he has a personal assistant just to bring him drinks and I just saw him on TV saying “I’ve been up for 48 hours…” Plus he has constant erratic behavior, paranoid delusion, and self deception. He’s totally wasted all the time, right? Like most conservative commentators. (Not sure if Glenn Beck is still on drugs, but whatever he did in his past has seriously changed his brain chemistry to mush. That’s not all that bad, I guess, but still not the kind of person that deserves a role of influence.)

  38. General Choomin

    http://www.uni-tea.com/index.html Andrew Breitbart and token blacks set to rally in philly to show he’s not a racist! Niger Innis will be speaking! Only in the city of brotherly love can Andrew Breitbart show that he isn’t a racist. I guess he figures that since it worked for Obama then it should work for him.

    This tea party is gonna be off the hook tomorrow! The event is gonna be called a grape drank party to show how Andrew isn’t racist. I mean, if he was racist then why would he share a stage with several colored folk and three white guys? Even if those tokens at his tea party are divorced from any community or identity of color. Since they prefer the freedom of the post racial gated community.

    Irregardless, this is gonna be a party at independence hall and everyone* is invited. Expect to hear some good old country music at this hip-hop non-racist tea party event. Bring your updated posters and signs of Obama as well. I myself am going to dress up as John McClane from “Die Hard: With a Vengeance”.

    *The term “Everyone” does not include Shirley Sherrod, poor people, black people, brown people, gay people, bilingual people, and anyone without a folding chair. The guy who Impersonates Ben Franklin is also prohibited from the mall due the potential to confuse teapartiers that he is a time traveler from the past. The police will be on hand to gas, taze, club, and arrest anybody who is defined as not a part of “everyone”.

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