oh god give it to us michele

Michele Bachmann Being Coy About Impeaching Obama

Just show us a little of your plans for impeachment. Just a peek. Just flash it to us. We have beads.The Teabagger Caucus’ Dear Leader Michele Bachmann was on Newsmax.TV (hah!) and was asked about Tom Tancredo’s suggestion that President Obama should be impeached for not securing the border. So obviously she shrieked, “Yea! Yea! He hath betrayed us! Throwen he in ye dungeon!” EXCEPT SHE DIDN’T. “Whether or not this is an impeachable offense is one that the Congress would have to make a determination on.” Oh, stop leading us on, Michele! You know it’s an impeachable offense!

Is Bachmann getting soft on us? Sure, she was beaten to the punch on this impeachment thing by Tancredo, for which she is probably kicking herself. IT IS SO SIMPLE! IMPEACHMENT! The crazy idea was sitting right in front of her!

But the mark of a good leader is to take the good ideas around you and make them yours. This is what she is doing. She will take this idea and mature it. Let it grow a little. Draw out the impeachment process until it sprouts vines in every direction. Only then, when we are really sick of this dumb idea, and it’s a good time to fundraise, will Bachmann get the impeachment process going.

This is the difference between Bachmann and Tancredo. And that difference is why Tancredo was not elected president, but Bachmann will be. [TPM]

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Jack Stuef is your loyal editor and a freelance satirist or something like that. He is a contributing writer for The Onion. E-mail him or whatever.

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44 comments

  1. Geogre

    Didn’t she want Obama impeached for offering the Sleestack a job? I thought that was her impeachment conviction already in the bag.

    It’s hard to keep track of all the times our president has been impeached already. Would one of you guys please produce a score card, just so we know all the high crimes and misdemeanors he has already been convicted of in the GOP imagination (aside from being an Islamicist Soviet sleeper agent)?

  2. AfghanVet

    I think she simply is not crazy enough anymore. She rode the top for a while, but I think she is too “mainstream” for the new GOP.

  3. sezme

    I believe she will pronounce on this impeachment thing once she consults with ‘Teethy’.

  4. Sharkey

    The Strategy™:
    1) Think up a task that no single human could ever possibly accomplish.
    2) Assert that it’s Obama’s responsibility to get this done, because of the oath of office.
    3) INPEACH when it doesn’t get done, according to whatever timetable, i.e. the election cycle.
    4) PROFIT!

  5. One Yield Regular

    Off topic, but I’m surprised to find this Wonkette ad here on Rubicon.com.

  6. freakishlystrong

    And yet..and yet..we have Doucheborough and other right wing hacks claiming that Obamar WANTS the house to roll to the ‘tards, because that way, he can blame Speaker Boner for everything. (As if.)

    They haven’t even won yet and they’re talking about impeachment. The next Congress should be hoot.

  7. Dashboard_Buddha

    [re=628267]One Yield Regular[/re]: LMAO – I was going to say something snide, but your comment is better.

  8. yellowdogdem

    Her hands in that picture are doing that “imploring Jeebus” gesture that the televangelists use. I think she should run for “America’s Next Top Wingnut Rip Off the Poor Televangelist.” Then she can leave Congress and makes tons of $$$ like her bff Sarah.

  9. Chernobyl Soup

    But it is nice to know that, if the Republicans do take the House, they never really would go the impeachment route unless the offense involved actual high crimes and misdemeanors. There’s just no precedent for them bringing forth impeachment procedings unless the constitution itself had been endangered by the president’s actions.

  10. just pixels

    Nothing says “bold new ideas” like a return to 1998. If you’re keeping score, that was in the last century. Last millennium too.

    Anyway, Tom & Michele are a little late to be griping about someone “not securing borders”. Wasn’t it Bush #43 who let the 9/11 hijackers in?

  11. ManchuCandidate

    I’m guessing we’ll see a new acronym in the lexicon.

    IFBB or Impeached For Being Black.

  12. hiphophitler

    My three-part strategy for dealing with the Hon. Ms. Bachman:
    1. Get her drunk and check in at local Motel 6;
    2. Lose the lubricant;
    3. Do it in the naughty way until friction makes her catch fire and burn up.

  13. Extemporanus

    [re=628267]One Yield Regular[/re]: Nice.

    The headline on my screen currently reads: “Michele Bachmann Being Coy About Rubicon”.

    “Rubicon” = buttsecks?

    Where is your anal point of no return, Michelle?! I don’t want to have to leave any rings or watches behind!

  14. Elephants Gerald

    “She will take this idea and mature it.”

    Sorry to pick nits, but I believe the proper verb is “progress” as used by W. Shakespeare. (That’s “W” as in “Wasilla”)

  15. JMP

    It’s a horrific thing Obama has done, completely undoing every single nothing that Bush did to make the border (hm America has two borders, why does she think only the Canadian one matters) totally permeable. If the situation had been exactly the same under Bush, (and Bush I, and Reagan, and every other Republican president going back to ever,) they surely would have impeached him because this is all about principal, not political grandstanding.

  16. Prommie

    I would not fuck her on a dare
    I would not fuck her, here or there
    I would not fuck her in the mouth
    I would not fuck her north or south
    I would not fuck her in the ass
    I would not do it, for love or cash.
    I would not eat her tired old snatch
    I would not dive into her patch
    She’s shrill and kooky, lined and saggy
    to see her naked would make me gaggy
    This talk that she’d be a great hate-fuck
    I just don’t understand this muck
    I wouldn’t let her tug my schwantz
    She’s nothing at all like what I wantz
    I wouldn’t want to give the dick-to-her
    even in a threesome with the snowbilly grifter.

  17. JMP

    [re=628284]Dashboard_Buddha[/re]: Now, this is matter of principal, the Iowa Republicans just hate the idea of foreigners giving titles to Americans; wait a second…
    http://archives.cnn.com/2002/WORLD/europe/09/26/greenspan.knighthood/index.html
    “LONDON, England (CNN) — U.S. Federal Reserve Chairman Alan Greenspan has received an honorary knighthood from Britain’s Queen Elizabeth II.

    It is an honour shared by former U.S. President Ronald Reagan, former U.S. President George Bush, former New York Mayor Rudy Giuliani, entertainer Bob Hope and U.S. Gen. Norman Schwarzkopf. “

  18. Senhor Tambor

    [re=628312]Prommie[/re]:
    I would not fuck her, In a jam,
    I would not fuck her, Sam I Am…

  19. Extemporanus

    [re=628312]Prommie[/re]: [re=628329]Senhor Tambor[/re]: Why does the word “twat” rhyme with “cat” and “hat” in England, but not in America?

    These are the kinds of questions that keep me up at night.

  20. Mad Brahms

    Does anyone else sort of hope Tancredo succeeds with his Constitution Party bid, and that it somehow drags in a bunch of Tea Partiers? This would pretty much doom the GOP, which would be delicious. Implausible, yes. But delicious.

  21. Johnny Zhivago

    [re=628272]Dashboard_Buddha[/re]: No, actually, sneaky Obama is deporting only enough Mexicans to make up for those murdered by druglords while waiting to cross the border.

    And he’s only doing this until those NSA satellites implant enough brain control chips in Arizonans to make the whole state a Mexi-Islamic Caliphate.

  22. Johnny Zhivago

    [re=628324]JMP[/re]: They’re RINO’s so DEPORT THEM!

    I met Bob Hope once, and he was an awfully nice guy (for a Republican, that is)…

  23. OhBoy

    [re=628274]yellowdogdem[/re]: When I see her hands up in the air with that sneer all I can think of is “she who smelt it, dealt it” No doubt she has cropdusted this land of ours…

  24. tbogg

    Obviously Bachmann is not ready to cross the Impeachment Rubicon, a 2 hour premiere event on AMC, check your local listings.

    There. You guys just got some extra product placement money.

  25. Pithaughn

    [re=628344]Mad Brahms[/re]: Mayor John is beloved, he brews really good beer, I mean come on. Tom Tancred-tantrum is a vicious bully, all the lies and slander he spews will blow back on him, the stupid party that let him be their candidate and the Republicans, because only the very dim realize he is a conpio.
    That is short for Constitution party in name only. Ha.

  26. PlanetWingnuta

    was she … on her meds when she said this cause i can understand…even the crazy calms their shit down when on their meds.

  27. Lionel Hutz Esq.

    Like all elected Republicans, she has become a RINO.

    When will the Teabaggers learn, the only way to achieve ideological purity is by voting for the dead corpse of Ronald Reagan for all offices.

  28. Dashboard_Buddha

    [re=628324]JMP[/re]: See…this is what kills me about these folks. They’re all, “Hrmmm, constitution blah blah…hurumph, read your history”…but then stuff like this dribbles out of the pieholes and show that they know fuck-all about history or the constitution.

  29. runtothehills

    We should go back to the original interpretation of the Constitution, the way our Founding Fathers wanted things…

    So listen up, Bachmann, you psycho bitch second class citizen, get your not allowed to vote or hold public office ass back in the kitchen where you belong, shut the fuck up and make me a sandwich.

    This also applies to Jan Brewer, Sarah Palin, and all of the other idiots crying for the good ole’ days.

  30. mustardman

    Yawn…..they were ready to impeach over the Dijon mustard thing. Nothing to see here….move along people!~

  31. Surfeit O'Hubris

    [re=628295]Extemporanus[/re]: ‘“Rubicon” = buttsecks? ‘ – You know, that actually makes the site’s current look a little more bearable, and certainly more in keeping with the general theme.

Comments are closed.