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Tell the server that you only want water with your meal.Farmer-taunting U.S. Senate candidate Rand Paul has a new scheme to make himself look popular and beloved by the American nation: a “friend bomb” campaign on Facebook. “The goal is to have over 100,000 fans who ‘Like’ Rand’s Page,” says the page itself. It’s good to have goals! And your goal in all this? To win the grand prize: Lunch with the Paulster himself, in Kentucky. But how?

All you have to do “to become eligible” for the lunch is to be one of the top five people to recruit others to “like” Dr. Paul Junior’s Facebook on August 1, the Official Rand Paul Friend Bomb Day. But here’s the thing: August 1 is a Sunday, which is also THE LORD’S DAY. God might get really upset with you about this. You’ve been warned.

Oh, and one other thing: It’s going to be hard work, because all the people in America who like Rand Paul have probably joined his fan page already. But if you’re willing to hustle and risk ruining your relationship with the Creator, here’s the posted instructions:

Take a screenshot of the Rand Paul page ( with the area “Friends Like This” visible on August 1st (see below for instructions on how to take a screenshot). Then take another screenshot at the end of the day to show how many friends you’ve recruited. Submit your screenshots in a single email with the total number of fans you’ve successfully recruited in the subject to Provide your contact details and we’ll let you know who won. Submissions must be sent in by 12:00 noon CDT on August 2nd. We know there are plenty of ways to game this contest, but we hope you enjoy spreading Rand’s message to your friends and in the spirit of competition we trust you’ll play fair. To be fair, we won’t consider any doctored submissions. Have fun!

You see that? PLAY NICE. It’s the least you could do for God and his Libertarianism, given how you’re going to neglect Him on His day just for the chance to have an eye doctor take you out for lunch. Yeah OK, but the lunch is free, right? It’s not clear! You might have to pay your way. Or the meal might be “free” until Paul says that he’s “forgotten” his wallet full of silver coins and gold doubloons at home, and makes you “spot” until the “next time.” We all know that “next time” never comes in such situations, with the politicos.

Where do you think Paul will take his favorite Friend Bomber(s) for lunch? Will it be to a segregated lunch counter? Oh wait, he doesn’t believe in those, really. Maybe KFC, to put a little “Kentucky” into the experience? Or just a bagged lunch with cheap-ass sandwiches and generic snack pouches? Make suggestions in the comments section. [Rand Paul 2010 Facebook Page]

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