CHECK THAT GAVEL'S PAPERS  3:52 pm July 28, 2010

Evil Judge Removes All of the Nice Racism From Arizona Law

by Jack Stuef

Stop it, activist judges! You are supposed to have droopy arms! LET US ARREST THE MESSICANS! WE WANT TO ARREST THEM SO BAD!Oh look, actual news: Judge Susan Bolton of Federal District Court in Phoenix has blocked the most controversial parts of Arizona’s popular new immigration law right before it is to take effect, because she hates white people. Bolton has issued “a preliminary injunction against sections that called for police officers to check a person’s immigration status while enforcing other laws and that required immigrants to carry their papers at all times.” Illegal immigrants will celebrate tonight by drinking Chi-Chi’s-brand margarita mix and Doing Taco Night Right with Ortega-brand taco seasoning mix and Old-El-Paso-brand corn-composite taco “shells.”

“I am disappointed by Judge Susan Bolton’s ruling,” Gov. Jan Brewer said in a statement. “This fight is far from over. In fact, it is just the beginning, and at the end of what is certain to be a long legal struggle, Arizona will prevail in its right to protect our citizens.

“I have consulted with my legal counsel about our next steps. We will take a close look at every single element Judge Bolton removed from the law, and we will soon file an expedited appeal at the United States Court of Appeals for the 9th Circuit.”


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AbstinenceOnly Ed July 28, 2010 at 3:55 pm

As a strict-constructionist conservative, I am outraged that a federal judge upheld the Constitution at the expense of my spiteful racist law.

ManchuCandidate July 28, 2010 at 4:00 pm

At least Jan knows what a real fight is thanks to her daddy’s war experience fighting Nazis in Nazi Occupied Nevada.

memzilla July 28, 2010 at 4:00 pm

Isn’t this the same state which professes to have had its economy devastated by the fleeing of illegal immigrants, thus leaving thousands of jobs unfilled in the lawn care, building maintenance, and hospitality industries? But, weren’t they taking jobs away from honest-to-Jeebus hunnert-percent Murricans? So, in this economy, why are the jobs unfilled? Wait, what?

Butterscotch Stalin July 28, 2010 at 4:03 pm


Cherry Garcia July 28, 2010 at 4:04 pm

This fight is going all the way to the Supreme Court where the deciding vote will be cast by, yeah, you got it, just another Messican, Sonia “Not Maria” Sotomayor. We’ve taken over!

chascates July 28, 2010 at 4:05 pm

It’s the high heat that makes everyone cranky in Arizona. And John McCain proves it doesn’t go away just by staying out of the state.

SayItWithWookies July 28, 2010 at 4:05 pm

Oh, the Ninth Circuit — the one routinely denounced as a seething cauldron of radical liberalism by the GOP. This should be fun.

JMP July 28, 2010 at 4:05 pm

Why does Jan Brewer hate the Constitution?

[re=627634]memzilla[/re]: It’s also been hurt by the fleeing of certain citizens and legal immigrants who for some reason fear they might be targeted for police harassment under this law. Wonder why…

Yaten July 28, 2010 at 4:08 pm

Jan Brewer is actually using that cartoon for election billboards around the state:

BklynIlluminati July 28, 2010 at 4:09 pm

¡Vete a la verga!, puto Arizona!!!

chascates July 28, 2010 at 4:14 pm

(via CrooksandLiars): Maricopa County Sheriff Joe Arpaio told ABC’s George Stephanopoulos that he would not hesitate to arrest protesters that were blocking his jail.
“It appears that there are groups, individuals that are gearing up for some civil disobedience if this law does take effect,” Stephanopoulos noted Wednesday. “Are you prepared for that? What are you going to do about it?”
“Yeah,” replied Arpaio. “I’m ready for it. I hear a rumor they want to block my jails. So, if they want to block the jails, they can have a little trip in the jail.”

So now he can’t arrest more browns or protestors!

GOPCrusher July 28, 2010 at 4:19 pm

They would have been better served to use a piece of beef jerky on that Arizona poster. That would look more like Jan Brewer than the cartoon caricature it has now.

One Yield Regular July 28, 2010 at 4:20 pm

[re=627627]AbstinenceOnly Ed[/re]: What part of “illegal” don’t you understand?

Kool Keith July 28, 2010 at 4:20 pm

“Arizona will prevail in its right to protect our citizens”

Because traveling without all your federal documentation on hand is dangerous?

Monsieur Grumpe July 28, 2010 at 4:23 pm

It’s fiesta time!
For you Arizona racist that means Party Time!
Ba dadadadadadadada
Ba dadadadadadadada
Ba dadadadadadadada
oh lay!

slappypaddy July 28, 2010 at 4:24 pm

nobody hates white people more than white people. just look at the crazy shit they do. they wake up in the morning and before they even get out of bed, they’re pulling out their guns and shooting their own feet, then they’re crying about how they can’t walk.

(nb — slappypaddy is an orange and white domestic shorthair — a gringo ginger! — and the man behind the curtain is of that pigmentation oddly referred to as “white.”)

BklynIlluminati July 28, 2010 at 4:29 pm

I have to admit I am having a fiesta today at my desk, it’s feels good when good triumphs over evil. Jan Brewer have a rat dick taco on me.

GOPCrusher July 28, 2010 at 4:32 pm

They can try to spin this any way they want to, but the simple fact is Arizona will have to resort to racial profiling to enforce this law. Unless they are going to claim that they are keeping an eye out for illegal Canadians or Europeans.

just pixels July 28, 2010 at 4:33 pm

Everyone back to work on the danged fence. Susan Bolton is danged activist judge. That’s why Jon Kyl wanted her on the danged bench.

mustardman July 28, 2010 at 4:35 pm

and The Gov will spare no amount of her dwindling tax bases dollars to fight this. Which I am sure the teabaggers whole heartedly approve even though the irony is COMPLETELY lost on those knuckle dragging morAns.

mustardman July 28, 2010 at 4:35 pm

Heck of a job Jack Steuf. You managed to get throught that entire story without trying to bash Obama even once. Quite impressive.

Zorg July 28, 2010 at 4:37 pm

[re=627645]Yaten[/re]: Every time I click on to that link I get an “Authorization Required” screen. I guess I’m just plumb not white enough.

PlanetWingnuta July 28, 2010 at 4:41 pm

[re=627666]slappypaddy[/re]: firecrotch & trukrnutz

just pixels July 28, 2010 at 4:42 pm

[re=627658]One Yield Regular[/re]: I don’t think it’s a racist law, although it’s hard to imagine how it would be enforced in Arizona without racial overtones. But I wish the Lou Dobb’s wing of the Republican party would acknowledge that these people are here because the market has spoken. We like cheap food and other things the illegals do for us.

mookworthjwilson July 28, 2010 at 4:45 pm

Man, in that drawing they really captured ol Governor Leatherface’s vacant, empty eyes…

GOPCrusher July 28, 2010 at 4:45 pm

[re=627695]just pixels[/re]: And we have businesses that would rather pay illegals 2 dollars an hour with no benefits rather than American citizens.

WhatTheHeck July 28, 2010 at 4:46 pm

Yay. I can move back to Arizona to work in the lettuce fields once more.
But what’s to become of the white person who rushed in and took my job when I left?

Lionel Hutz Esq. July 28, 2010 at 4:47 pm

Arizona will prevail in its right to protect our citizens.

Thank God someone is fighting to protect the citizens of Arizona from cheap farm labor, dish washers, cleaning ladies and gardeners. As any Teabagger (TM — Dick Armey) knows, this country was made great by unkempt gardens, dirty houses and dishes, and fruit rotting in the fields.

bago July 28, 2010 at 4:58 pm

[re=627641]SayItWithWookies[/re]: My thoughts exactly.

notreallyhelping July 28, 2010 at 4:59 pm

By the end of the day, Arpaio will have chewed both his hands off.

Neilist July 28, 2010 at 5:16 pm

You know, growing up in San Francisco was really bad for me.

I see that fist and elbow, and all I can think of is . . . Crisco.

[Where's Ms. Benincasa? I think I have another Big Idea for a video.]

Zortag July 28, 2010 at 5:29 pm

Don’t blame the immigrants, don’t blame the people that hire them, and definitely don’t blame the government for the immigration problem. Arizonans should be pointing at the image in the mirror.

Are they ready to shell out an additional $10-$20 weekly for yard service that legal workers would require? Are they willing to pay an extra 10%-15% at a restaurant when they replace illegals with legal workers? How about the bump in the price of chicken (and other food) when legal meat-processing workers replace illegals and start reporting the ghastly working and sanitation conditions?

My back of the envelope calculations show that illegal immigrants save us at least 2-3% of income and probably more. For middle-income households, this can add up to more than a $1000 per year. Put your money where your mouth is, are you willing to spend a grand of your own money?

Nah, let the gov-ment solve it, that THEIR job.


FlownOver July 28, 2010 at 5:38 pm

The poster is an accurate description of how Brewer looked when she and her dad were fighting the German Nazis. The present-day crypt keeper look isn’t her fault.

ArugulaTeleprompterz July 28, 2010 at 5:58 pm

[re=627685]mustardman[/re]: This is kind of OT, and mostly your posts make me laugh. But why do you pick on Jack for calling out Obama? The guy isn’t perfect (though 1000 times better than the alternative). And one of the things that sets libruls apart from the other guys is our ability to recognize the weaknesses on our own side and laugh at them. Or try to make them better. I would hate to think we were like the people who love Sarah Palin so much that they truly believe she shits rose petals…

sati demise July 28, 2010 at 6:29 pm

[re=627661]Kool Keith[/re]: so, I suppose you carry your passport at all times yourself, right? Even when you go out for a morning jog, or out to the pool. Yea, you probably have a special pocket in your Speedos that holds your passport. I bet you do!

sati demise July 28, 2010 at 6:31 pm

[re=627658]One Yield Regular[/re]: And I suppose you ask every single person you may be traveling with if they are legal residents? If not, you could be found guilty of consorting with an illegal and go to jail yourself….Have you asked your trash man if he has teh legal papers or not?

Darkness July 28, 2010 at 7:19 pm

14th amendment for the win!

[re=627639]Cherry Garcia[/re]: Oh good, I expect every beer I order to come with a slice of lime, always.

bbqboy July 28, 2010 at 7:47 pm

Does this mean Chimichangas are legal, at least for the time being?

Enslave the Whales July 28, 2010 at 8:03 pm

If Jan Brewer looked remotely like that cartoon, I’d hit it.

[re=627736]Neilist[/re]: Such a happy smile. Such a big fist.

[re=627685]mustardman[/re]: U r giving me a confuze. Are you a mechanistic O’bot, or a pretty insidiously clever troll, or do you just have a personal beef with Steuf? If 1 or 2, carry on; if 3, it would be polite to fess up.

mumblyjoe July 28, 2010 at 8:34 pm

[re=627682]mustardman[/re]: Are you kidding? Most of them are too busy arguing 1) SAY NO TO FEMA CAMPS and b) Put every illegal/muslin in a concentration camp. Also.

Irony isn’t the only thing lost on those guys.

user-of-owls July 28, 2010 at 9:51 pm

Jan Brewer: Rosie the Rivener

sati demise July 28, 2010 at 11:05 pm

[re=627712]notreallyhelping[/re]: Oh yea, you may be right!

sezme July 28, 2010 at 11:37 pm

[re=627685]mustardman[/re]: Mean Mr. Mustard!

AbstinenceOnly Ed July 29, 2010 at 2:17 am

[re=627658]One Yield Regular[/re]: the double L, is it like a y, as in llamar? or hard L

the4thpip July 29, 2010 at 4:58 am

I am glad the judge stopped an illegal law that would have violated the US constitution and would have made the Founding Fathers turn over in their graves. God bless America.

Geogre July 29, 2010 at 6:47 am

She will protect Arizona’s ‘citizens,’ because “citizen” requires her office agreeing to the status. She will not protect Arizona’s residents, because that would include people she doesn’t like.

She is trying to fight facts and induce yet another civil war. I’m getting tired of people trying to get America to have a domestic war.

S.Luggo July 29, 2010 at 8:33 am

Chupacabra esta contento.

glamourdammerung July 29, 2010 at 10:09 am

“I am disappointed by Judge Susan Bolton’s ruling,” Gov. Jan Brewer said in a statement. “This fight is far from over. In fact, it is just the beginning, and at the end of what is certain to be a long legal struggle, Arizona will prevail in its right to protect our citizens.

I was not aware of any fight as opposed to the posturing of passing a law written by a “white nationalist” that everyone knew was unconstitutional.

runtothehills July 29, 2010 at 3:47 pm

I totally agree with Gov. Jan Brewer. We should go back to the original interpretation of the Constitution, you know, the way our Founding Fathers wanted things…
So, Jan Brewer, get your not allowed to vote or hold public ass back in the kitchen where you belong, shut the fuck up and make me a sandwich.

runtothehills July 29, 2010 at 4:05 pm

“totally agree with Gov. Jan Brewer. We should go back to the original interpretation of the Constitution, you know, the way our Founding Fathers wanted things…
So, Jan Brewer, get your not allowed to vote or hold public ass back in the kitchen where you belong, shut the fuck up and make me a sandwich.”

Hold public office is what I meant to say. No way in hell to I want to see Brewer hold her wrinkly leathery ass in public..

DeLand DeLakes July 29, 2010 at 11:44 pm

Ummmmmm, I’m pretty sure Jan Brewer hasn’t looked like that since the days before her dad personally killed Hitler. That woman makes George Burns look as fresh and unlined as a Breck girl.

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